When Dreams Can Live
by Richard Banker
Summary: This fic follows up the 'extra' scene at the end of the film and depicts transcontinental friendship when Bad Girls characters becom involved in the lives of Simone and Annabelle
1. Chapter 1

Scene One

**cene One **

"Simone!" that well remembered voice called out anxiously, her fingers across her mouth in horror. The object of her sudden surge of fears was the fair-haired woman who was lying inert on the beach on which the endless Pacific breakers broke in soporific tones."What's happened to you?" It was the second most shocking moment of her existence when everywhere else here was paradise.

The young woman who spoke had clattered excitedly down the long wide flight of steps from the beach road, leaving her convertible parked by the roadside and her long dark hair trailing in the wind . Her heart had been singing at the thought of being reunited with the one person who was the centre of her universe when the worst of all possible fears had slapped her in the face. Gradually the fair haired woman who was lying on the beach unglued her eyelids at the voice ringing in her dreams and turned her head to focus both her eyes and her thoughts. She had taken a book to read on the beach and a beach towel to lie on and, in the hypnotic glare of the noon day sun, had been gradually deprived of energy and simply fallen asleep on the beach. She'd floated in and out of weird, meaningless dreams and was totally disoriented so when that voice broke in through her mental meanderings it almost felt that this was just another random, dissonant happening divorced from any meaning. Now, she was pulling herself together, halfway suspended between her unquiet dreams and an unbelievable reality.

To the onlooker, things looked so much worse for a fraction of a second. Annabelle Tillman, recent graduate of St Teresa' Catholic High School had had been subjected to life's sudden, cruel and undeserved turnarounds just like Simone Bradley, the older woman who had so recently taught her. They'd not seen each other for three weeks since Simone had been dragged away in a sinister looking black car and the only news there'd been was good news on the front page of the Los Angeles Tribune that Annabelle had spotted in a roadside store she'd only just called in. It was entirely possible that the motionless woman lying on the beach might be ill or, god help her, the word she couldn't name. She ran over the smooth even sand which dragged at her boots as they sank in and hurried to cut down the distance that separated her from the centre of her existence . Finally, she arrived at her life's destination and to her intense relief, the fair-haired woman was starting to move. She simply must help her out.

Gradually a pair of female rocker boots, short miniskirt and shapely legs came into Simone's view from that peculiarly distorted perspective from lying on her side. Her jumbled mind, woken out of sleep, flashbacked to when she was the dark trouser suited restrained but liberal teacher at St Theresa's Catholic School, California State where she had once been a pupil under the emotional dominance of the Mother Immaculata. On that day, the girl who boldly returned her polite gaze possessed the authentic teenage slouch, nose ring, denim jacket and a reputation of the archetypal, uncontrollable troublemaker. For one second, she thought that life had subjected her to the first cycle of an experience loop to be endlessly repeated . This time, she took in the white, long sleeved top, the clear sun tanned look, dark glasses and a loving smile underscored with fear that anything bad should have happened to her. This helped start to get over the sense of dislocation of being separated for the past three weeks.

"Annabelle, it's lovely to see you at last. I've only dozed off on the beach," Simone Bradley answered in an unusually fuzzy, unclear tone of voice, her tongue sticking to her mouth as she struggled to scramble to her feet. The younger woman fondly remembered the clear precision in the fair-haired woman's speaking voice."I don't know how I came to be down here."

"I'll help you," she volunteered, her fiercely protective instincts out there in the open that she let hardly anyone see. She'd had to be so tough for so long- until she'd met her first love. The older woman let that amazing strength wrap itself around her, something she knew by now she shouldn't spurn to honour some outdated values that had never given her anything meaningful back in return. The intensity of Annabelle's love gave her so much she felt blinded by it.

Only because Simone stumbled back a step as the shifting sands weren't firm enough for her to secure her footing meant that the younger woman momentarily doubt the strength of her own fixed purpose. Regaining that emotional tie might be harder than she had supposed.

"Don't tell me I'm not wanted? I don't know what stuff has gone down since we last met."

The downcast eyes and the sheer irresistability of this woman's love erased any doubts Simone might have had. She'd never apologized so much to her in the past when it was all about working through her feelings of guilt. Her heart flowed out towards this most amazing of women, her eighteen years old soul mate.

Annabelle blinked to see her lover's arms outstretched towards her and was delerious with joy to see such a profound acceptance of her, her blue eyes glinting in the setting sun and a glorious smile spreading across her face. The time that elapsed since Simone had been taken away from her since their love had been found out didn't matter. They were both here right now. The younger woman let herself be enfolded in a warm embrace and the blond-haired woman planted kisses all over her face before pressing her lips against her own and slipping her tongue deep inside her with all the sense of assurance in the world. Simone's such a confident lover, so gorgeous, Annabelle sighed into her lover's open mouth. This was heaven for them both and they were finally home at last. They both wanted that kiss to last forever.

The gorgeously warm sunlight glistened off the Pacific ocean and warmed both women as they sat on the balcony of Simone's beach house which was blessed by a gentle soothing westerly wind. The sun was sinking low in the endlessly blue sky and, at times like this, conveyed a glistening magic to the world at the best of times. It was as nothing compared with each woman's unbelievably felt presence of the other as they gently talked. Annabelle gently placed her slim fingers on the other woman's hand and a smile spread slowly across her face.

"I still can't believe it's happening to us both, darling. I've had my life turned upside down but I'm getting it back."

"Saw a copy of the Los Angeles Tribune in a service station as I drove up this way. I'm so glad you're free. All that stuff about teacher student sex scandal, such bullshit."

Simone shuddered as Annabelle in her well-meaning way, had gently touched not so much as a a sore spot but a deep psychic wound. She closed her eyes briefly and a whirlpool of traumatic memories whirled around inside her head. Everything had all blown up on the night of the end of term party with St Paul's Catholic School. All it had taken was one jealous, spiteful bisexual schoolgirl, Catherine, the form bully, to put two and two together to say that Annabelle hadn't returned to the dormitory, to pretend concern for Annabelle's moral welfare and hint to the Mother Immaculata to check out Simone's bedroom. The woman who was her aunt and had dominated her in the past for so long had stomped forth in a moral crusade and had discovered both of them half naked trying to get dressed. Certainly,it was impossible to deny that they'd slept together. All the time that their relationship had been building up, Simone had feared that she might be seen to be in a state of sin in breaching her 'duty of care' to a student under her moral guidance as a mature adult, taking advantage of an impressionable child, that she had brought herself into conflict with the teachings of the Catholic Church and that she would be sacked from her job. All this had held her back from following what her heart was telling her to do. Put into words like this, it ought to have stopped her from crossing the line but the reality of their relationship had been so completely different..

She certainly hadn't conceived how government officials had moved in such smooth and sinister deliberation and had arrested her. It smacked of a secret police operation in some South American military dictatorship. Neither had she conceived how a papparazzi fuelled newspaper would grab and twist their very private love and make it the stuff of tacky headlines. It was only when time and psychic imprisonment had given her dead time to research Senator Tillman, Annabelle's mother, that Simone realised what a dysfunctional world she'd been innocently dragged into. However, her loyalties ran deep and she knew that the younger woman was really a self created adult who had distanced herself from her family and really had nothing to do with such a rising politician. She could readily understand that as she had done the same with her own moneyed and powerful parents.

During this pause in their conversation which seemed to last a lifetime, Annabelle read the fair haired woman's distress and feared that she might still be blamed for the spectacular disasters which had been the fallout from her ardent pursuit of her form teacher. She'd made all the running, especially at the party and she accepted her fair share of responsibility since she was made that way.

"We're here right now and we're free- for whatever freedom means to us,"she said in cautious and guarded tones.

Simone's eyes opened and all she saw was anxiety in case she rejected the younger woman and her infinite compassion for her. This wasn't teenage lust on her side and weak- willed acquiescence on her own.

"I regret absolutely nothing of what we did that night nor anything that led up to it apart from a detail or two. I should have had the foresight to lock my door and gain time to smuggle you out the window."

This absurd image made Annabelle laugh out loud. The image of her shinning down the drainpipe like some naughty schoolgirl, her low cut short red dress riding up around her body was irresistible, especially as her one time teacher was suggesting shared sense of humour had helped draw them together in the first place and that magic was happening again.

"Exposing my butt for everyone to see? Some hope."

"Apart from me. I'll never forget what a wonderful night we spent together," Simone said with a heartfelt sigh before suddenly cryptically switching tack again,""We broke the eleventh commandment, Annabelle. That's all."

This made Annabelle sit up and take notice. This woman knew so much it was like riding a switchback in keeping up with her. That was part of her appeal. This woman was so goddamn inscrutable at times. Something was going on down with this guilt ridden woman who'd stopped denying to herself who she really was when she saw her last. This was going further down this line and that intrigued her

"And what's that? Nobody taught me that in Religious Education classes not that I was listening anyway," she asked behind lowered eyelids. This smart attractive woman was a couple of steps ahead of her.

" 'Thou shalt not be found out.' I've learnt a few things about life since I last saw you. I'm really an idealist though. Believe it or not, I'm still a good Catholic even though I don't practice it formally."

Annabelle got the connection straightaway. It crystallised how much contempt she had for authority figures who came over so high minded in their public pronouncements while concealing their sordid little secrets. She could have feigned conformity at all her schools and misbehaved on the quiet as she saw others do. She could never be like that and that was why she got into trouble time and time again. More than ever before, she felt so connected with this remarkable woman and felt so safe and secure in her beach house.

"I accept you exactly as you are, Simone." Her simple answer received a warm and melting smile from Simone who was emboldened to further speak from the bottom of her soul, something not normal for a natural introvert.

"I could have lived a lifetime and never really noticed you. You're the best thing that's ever happened in my life, our lives. I'm only just working out how I want to live my life. Since I was little, I was always told at school that I was the golden girl, someone special who stood out from the rest." Simone said dreamily as time and spoken words floated past them both on the soft and gentle wind.

"With a really cute ass," replied Annabelle insouciantly in her habitual quickfire wit. For a second, she wondered if she'd gone a bit too far. In the past, she'd stretched Simone's elastic tolerance so that the teacher in her had come to the surface. Her lips had pursed as she hid behind her glasses. This time, the blond haired woman dissolved into helpless giggles in an appealingly girlish fashion. In times past, the rare moments when Simone let herself go was worth hours of tedium in other lessons where starchy, authoritarian teachers had brought out the rebel in this precociously intelligent schoolgirl.

"I'm gratified to hear my girlfriend give me such rhapsodical, generous compliments on my physical charms," Simone said in florid, literary criticism, drolly askew. "I can now admit how spellbound I always was by your beautiful eyes fixed upon me, your shapely lips."

"There must be more to me than this," quipped the younger woman, her straight brown

hair falling loosely over her open necked T shirt."I know I'm a looker so how come you can't put lust into words?"

"And your gorgeous breasts," added Simone bashfully, slightly blushing at being so skillfully eased out of her linguistic shelter by her sharply observant lover.

"You mean tits," exclaimed Annabelle gleefully."They're the right words, I'm telling you."

Simone collapsed into helpless laughter and was joined by her lover. As the realisation slowly worked through that, despite everything bad that had happened to them recently, they could work through it all, the joy that they felt in each other made them feel giddy with relief. They hadn't laughed so much for such a long time. All the tension and spiritual oppression and, most of all, their enforced separation was now abolished by the wonderful feeling that they, now are one as a magical reconnection was forged in this moment. . Simone finally slid sideways and lay in her lover's lap, looking upward at the blue sky and into her lover's gentle face smiling down on her. She loved the feeling of her hair being gently and lovingly stroked and, above all else of being made to feel secure once again.


	2. Chapter 2

"I'm hungry,"Annabelle said, in her curiously childlike fashion as she veered off in another topic of conversation."I'm sorry. I've been so stressed out thinking that I forgot to eat. I should have thought."

"Want to lend a hand? You know the way round,"Simone replied with a quizzical look in her direction and indicating the door at the back of the living room.

It was in the spring break that Annabelle had inveigled Simone to put her up and, at that time, she was still clinging to the shreds of pretence that this was a teacher student relationship and this was just her offering pastoral care. She hadn't seen much of the kitchen since Simone had competently and quietly cooked for the pair of them while she'd stared out at the beauties of the rolling ocean. The younger woman feared that she'd just get under her partner's feet especially as she had never exhibited a major interest in domestic skills but that was when she'd lived at her parents. She acceded to the suggestion and, feeling a touch nervous, weighed up the intricacies of the kitchen. It shouldn't be such a big deal, she tried to persuade herself, her mouth feeling a little dry.

After some nervous preliminaries, she surprised herself in slotting round the neat movements of her lover and she started to understand the wisdom of what this very understanding woman was about. The fridge, the cutlery drawers, all the little spaces

were ordinarily the older woman's private places and she was gently letting her in. It was a way of getting to know each other in a very gentle easy going way.

"Want something to drink?" Simone invited her in her quiet way.

"Tropical fruit juice if that's OK...you expected me to say something wild like Jack Daniels or bourbon, didn't you. I'm through making out I'm the wild child all the time when all I really want is something cool and refreshing."

The younger woman's curious mixture of politeness, stark honesty and subtle humour endeared itself to Simone. The beach house had belt dreadfully lonely for so long and Annabelle was filling it, completing it with her presence. Was it only this morning that she'd woken up to the endless panorama of golden beaches and the infinite sea, all the splendid wonders of the world which didn't stop her from feeling cold, desolate and abandoned? She reproached herself for feeling so negative as no charges had been brought against her and she wasn't going to end up in some harsh Alcatraz like environment for years at a time. She ought to have been buoyed up by the fantastic good fortune but her spirits has slipped steadily down in the day following the good news. She glanced lovingly at the woman who had restored her to life in short order and poured the liquid from a carton into an ornamental glass. It was shaped more like a sculpture than a functional liquid container. She poured out another glassful for herself.

"Hey, you're not expecting me to say grace or half a dozen Hail Mary's or something?" Annabelle said suddenly. Religion was religion after all and she was freaking out in case the baleful influence St Teresa's Catholic School would insinuate itself into this paradise.

"Your thoughts are quite enough. I'm through with sticking to rituals that have no meaning,"Simone said lightly to the younger woman's intense and visible relief.

Annabelle savoured the unusually spiced salad and home made bread and it tasted delicious. They faced each other across the plain pine dining table and chattered inconsequentially away. Annabelle started to wonder if the older woman had something at the back of her mind that she was trying to conceal. As Simone laid her knife and fork

on the plate, Annabelle knew for certain that something was up.

"There's just one thing I've got to ask you and that is do your parents know you're here. I guess you live with them," the fair haired woman said nervously.

"Quit thinking you're still the teacher and I'm the pupil," the younger woman said with a flash of irritation. The second Annabelle said that, she knew she'd messed up. She half expected to be told that what she'd said was a case of teenage hormones and, deep down, she knew her lover would be right to say it. Instead, Simone fixed her with that infinitely forgiving, understanding and loving expression in her eyes.

"I've got past that one a long time ago darling. Don't you know how much you keep me on my toes?"

"I'm sorry. Yes, I have been living at home and it's goddamn unreal. I feel like my arms and legs are moving, my mouth says bullshit but it's not me."

"I want you to stay the night with me, more than the night, I mean in our bed, yes," Simone said, very shyly and girlishly, appealing to the younger woman to say yes. Unable to speak, Annabelle nodded her head eagerly. This was her idea of heaven.

"I guess you're on different planets from your parents like I am with mine. That won't stop them from keeping up appearances with neighbours and pretend parental concern if you disappear into the blue. You might as well get in there first and tell them what you're doing as we'll get shit from them sooner or later. It's in their interest to keep things quiet,"Simone said persuasively.

The dark-haired woman felt like melting on the spot as, in her quiet way, she was proposing they live together and she was being true to her promise to treat her as equals. Simone was delicately persuading her to help her take on this tricky bit of diplomacy and being prepared to deal with the hassle, head on. Her eyes glowed at Simone with tender emotion before her mouth set in a hard line as she fished out her mobile from her holdall.

Simone sat back and marvelled at the controlled way she handled the barrage of furious complaints that were obviously coming down the line and she met them, point by point, in her steady way. Simone knew how she could hold up her end of the argument but she was breaking new grounds. It would have been so easy of her to get either angry or upset and get drawn into a misplaced battle of emotions but she avoided all the traps. Finally, with a touching display of dignity before rounding off the conversation.

"I wanted to make sure you know I'm safe and I've told you where I am. You know

that I'm not part of your world and you're not part of mine so let's quit this mother daughter bullshit. I'm sure you've got more important business to be getting on with."

Annabelle's eyes were glowing with a sense of achievement and there was a rapid intake of breath and exhalation from the battle that she'd just fought. It was even visible in the darkening room as the sun was setting down on the ocean in a blaze of a shifting range of strong primary colours. Both of them had been so preoccupied with each other that they hadn't noticed the change. The younger woman's pulses started to race as she waited for the words on her lover's moist lips to be framed and to kiss the air they were going to be spoken upon.

"Darling, why don't we have ourselves a nightcap and take it to bed. I want to make love to you slowly and lovingly all night long."

"Sweetheart, I thought you'd never ask," she replied in unchararacteristically trembling tones. Least of all, she wasn't acting cool and didn't care if she wasn't. This was what naked emotions were all about.

The whole world was moving in delicious slow motion as they faced each other in the snug and comfortable room in the soft and gentle light. Simone loved the feel of gently unpeeling her lover's white top from over her body and seeing the younger woman shake her long hair free and loose. In turn, Annabelle delicately unbuttoned her own white shirt and gently eased it off her shoulders. She gazed in rapture of the red bra her lover was wearing that night they first slept together and lovingly unclasped it. Simone could almost hear the tinkling sound of her lover's guitar, her achingly sweet voice with that husky edge promising her that she will 'shelter her from the storm,' a mantra repeated over and over again.

"What are you thinking about, darling,"Annabelle's smoky eyes and gentle voice asked as she gently started to unzip her loose fitting slacks while she softly kissed her lover's face, her hips and neck..

"About that song you sang me at the party. I can almost hear it," Simone said softly as she started to unfasten her lover's skirt and returned her kisses with the utmost gentleness. They were slowly and calmly undressing each other knowing that the night was theirs and was infinite.

Once they were finally naked together, they stood holding hands and stared with delighted pleasure at each other, no tension and no guilt and with the calm assurance that they'd found each other. They lay down on the bed side by side and softly embraced each other, sighing with pleasure at the physical contact.

"This feels so right. I haven't felt right or complete without you," murmured Simone. She received an affectionate squeeze and her lover's leg sliding hungrily down her own. In between kisses, they looked into each other's eyes, not believing their luck while Simone's arm reached around between the pillow and her lover's head and ruffled her long hair affectionately. Their little movements against each other was the prelude of what was to come. Each woman was hungry for the other but wanted to take their time. This wasn't just about sex but being emotionally complete and that took delicacy of touch. .

"We've got all the time in the world and no one to stop us inside and outside our heads," Annabelle said softly, her long hair swept away from her face and falling on her shoulders. Simone kissed this marvellous woman delightedly, her emotions running freely. Her slim fingers started to trace their way down the side of her lover's shapely body along the line of her hip. It was like touching the softest velvet and was a treat for her senses as much as the light kisses that Annabelle started to place on her neck and shoulders. In an unhurried fashion, they started to make love very tenderly and Annabelle started softly stroking her lover's flat stomach making her shiver inside with pleasure. Finally, she she twisted herself on top and her fingers started edging ever closer to where they were desired until finally, she penetrated her. Soon, the fair-haired woman arching her back and sighing with ecstasy as she felt her lover's nimble fingers reach down to the centre of her desires. This woman must be such a considerate lover, she thought to herself as she realised that her one night of boldness so many months ago wasn't going to be the death of her. Simone could finally live the dreams that had haunted her at the edge of her consciousness as she rolled her lover over in bed and started to lay a pattern of kisses down from her lover's neck and sought out her generous breasts. Annabelle's breath came shorter and faster as she felt the lips and tongue of this most unexpectedly sensuous of women caress her nipples. She couldn't believe it, she whispered to herself in inexpressible joy with this woman of hers as she reluctantly moved on to slide down her body and lay a pattern of kisses down her flat stomach and finally enter her. Nothing in all her sexual fantasies had prepared her for the most delicious of climaxes where her body and mind felt like exploding. It took a long time for her orgasm to gradually fade away a little at a time, leaving her with the most loving feelings towards this woman of hers who'd some such a long way. She lovingly ran her fingers through her lover's long fair hair and caressed the parts of her body that she could reach and gloried in the delicious feel of her lover who wasn't in a hurry to get out of her.

"I never took my poems seriously enough. I loved the purity of their meanings, their form but I never really realised that I was living my dreams."," whispered Simone as she lay on her back while Annabelle's tender face hovered over her while they lay full length against each other.

"Right from the start, I knew you had hidden depths darling. I had the feeling you'd be a really good lay," laughed Annabelle against the older woman's damp skin.

"Is that an appropriate way to talk about your one time poetry teacher?" Simone said with mock severity, drolly belied by the way that her fingers felt the contours of her lover's gorgeous body. She loved the gorgeous velvet feel and couldn't get enough of it. The humour of this blatant contradiction made Annabelle laugh as she sensed unsuspected depths of this fascinating woman.

"Oh yeah, report me to the Mother Immaculata for impure thoughts," joked Annabelle in light easy tones. Right now,there was nothing in this world she couldn't fail to deal with ."I knew right from the start that you were somehow different. I really had to know just what kind of different you were."

"I love you so much darling I don't want us to ever be apart from each other," Simone said passionately as she clasped her lover to herself."We were made to be with each other. I know it."

"I love you so much Simone. Every time I say your name to myself, I feel so good it sounds so beautiful. You make my heart fly and guess what, first thing in the morning when I wake up, I'll feel you next to me and see you."

The sheer sense of wonder in Annabelle's voice at the future unfolding before them moved Simone immensely as they skated delicately around each others' intentions. She pressed the younger woman's face to her breasts and felt her own unashamed desires rise up in her. They were completely divorced from time as the younger woman softly kissed her skin again and again. This must be some kind of heaven she'd never been told about, the younger woman felt as she felt the full force and unwavering passion of the woman she'd so long adored. .She knew that the days were gone when she had to cajole, persuade and seduce a conflicted nervous woman to fully commit herself and cast aside her hangups and in one night together had her first experience of how much of a luscious lover Simone was. What she hadn't been sure of was just how much of their relationship still held good. From the way that the older woman moved and sighed with growing pleasure, she knew beyond doubt that she wanted to give her everything. A fierce sense of protectiveness swelled up inside her that she'd do her best to keep any bad shit away from her, to be the friend and lover she'd always dreamed of being. From out of nowhere, intense emotions started to overflow within them both, tears running down their cheeks and they started gently rocking back and forth together as a celebration of finding each other.

A little while later after they'd lain wrapped up round each other, a shift in the balance of mingled sexual desire and freeflowing emotion took place and Annabelle started to kiss her way down her lover's flat stomach and slim body and she was enchanted by the way her thighs opened, ready to receive her into her most intimate spaces.


	3. Chapter 3

Moving somewhere between the narrow margins of confused dreams and a splintered fragment of wakefulness, Simone gradually sensed of a human form gently resting against her back as she lay on her side but was it real?. She'd had these erotic dreams before when, just at the point when she had been starting to become aroused, she was plunged into a desolate state of loneliness when she had realised that she was alone in her bed and it didn't feel right. It sent her into such a slump of depression that led her to do such things as falling asleep on the beach. This time it felt subtly different as she could feel a gentle breath on her shoulder. She wondered what had happened as she'd slept at her beach house for so long and couldn't remember, in her muzzy state, what had happened the previous night. It was only when she moved her head so she could glance down the length of her body that she saw a smooth, shapely female arm lying next to her own. Slipping her fingers around her own, she exhaled a blissful sigh of relief from the bottom of her soul and the world around her became suffused in golden sunlight. It really was Annabelle who had come to her and was sharing her bed. Everything was perfect in her world. As fragments of memory started assembling themselves and starting to suggest a discernable pattern, she remembered how dear lover had come back into her life and they'd very gently, very lovingly taken each other to bed. It was certainly wasn't the seduction of an innocent woman by any means as she'd willed this into existence as much as anything. It would be only partly true to say that they'd slept together, as the phrase ironically had it, as they'd both climaxed several times that night in their strenuous and passionate lovemaking where they'd learnt the most intimate parts of each other's bodies and minds. The younger woman had woken a little earlier and had smiled at how peacefully her lover was sleeping till she woke her up. Simone sighed out loud with such blissful happiness that the brown- haired woman moved her hand and started softly stroking her lover's breasts.

"Morning," she murmured. Simone could feel the smile in her voice.

"Morning," Simone murmured in reply, turning round to face her lover and to softly kiss her lips."I'm so thankful to find you next to me. I felt really weird till I woke up and realised where I was."

"You're safe with me. I've been awake and watching over you. I used to be such a slob for sleeping in. Ask my parents or, on second thoughts, you'd better not."

The younger woman's jumble of thoughts both amused Simone and endeared herself to the older woman. It showed an endearing fallibility in her. She smiled and gently squeezed herself against her lover.

"That was such a fantastic night together, Annabelle. You really are all woman,"Simone said with a blissful smile on her lips.

Those words, its articulation and the look in her lover's eyes sent a powerful charge through the younger woman. The compliment spread gloriously through her nervous system and a huge smile spread over her face making her look touchingly like the ultimate Birthday Girl. She knew very well that this perceptive woman wasn't just talking about her as a lover but was easily accepting her as an equal. That was a terrifically high compliment since she'd been first attracted to Simone because of the sensitivity and boldness of her cultural explorations. From her experience, it was not common for English teachers to hold forth on a male homosexual love poem and she'd been bowled over by the poetry book she'd lent her.

"I can't believe it. Everything I've ever dreamed of and it's happening right now. I love you so much, Simone," the younger woman said, her eyes moistening with emotion.

They lay on the pillows and drew each other closer, pulling the quilt over themselves. They couldn't resist looking into the warmth of each other's eyes, their tumbled hair delightfully awry. They stretched out a free arm to loop over the other's shoulders and felt the delights of soft skin. The wind from the Pacific Ocean blew lightly through the slightly open front windows, ruffling the lightweight curtains so that patterns of sunlight danced to the side of each woman's vision, creating inadvertant were both smiling with pleasure.

"This is perfect. This is life as we should be living it," breathed the fair-haired woman, running her fingers through the long dark hair of her lover. Both had that sleepy snug feeling thanks to the hours of lovemaking the night before. This morning, they supposed they were too tired for much exercise.

"I like the word we. It feels real good inside," the younger woman purred as she lightly kissed her lover on her lips.

"And why not?" Simone murmured apparently in jest as her return kiss lasted longer than the one she received, giving a little squeeze with her free arm."You're here right now."

Annabelle received the effusive compliment from her lover with all the affectionate warmth in her nature that she had tended in the past to keep under wraps. Everything in her life was filled with golden flickering life and nuanced shadows and she wrapped her arms round the older woman and pressed herself against her. Simone went one better and as she slid her thigh against the younger woman, they kissed more intimately than before. Mornings are what this is made for, both women thought as the snow white duvet covered them.

"You know we were both feeling really tired out from last night," murmured Simone into the delightfully soft lips of the younger woman.

"Mmm mmm,"came Annabelle's muffled sounds as she kissed the fair haired woman with increasing ardour. She supposed that Simone would get the message.

"Are we really that tired?" murmured Simone against the younger woman's ear to make sure she understood. The answer was not long in coming. Suddenly, the fair haired woman was aware that the increasingly redundant quilt was swept away from over the two of them and with surprising strength, the younger woman moved on top of her. A rush of desire swept through Simone as she loved Annabelle's sexual strength as she pined her to the mattress to be passionately made love to. They kissed each other hungrily and the fair haired woman felt her lover's hand slide down her body and knowing that she would penetrate her. This time around, their lovemaking wasn't about reassuring each other that all the bad stuff that had happened would be made right as shaping how their lives would be together. In turn, when Annabelle felt a deep sense of emotional satisfaction in the way that Simone loved, more than ever , the physical act of lovemaking. She felt intensely in Simone the way she loved being kissed and caressed and that that this woman of hers felt more and more confident in the way that she gave her pleasure in return, the little physical ways they had around each other. All this while, the bright sun smiled in on their unashamed nudity and that everything was as it should be.

It was only later on during that magic morning when the two women finally slung on the nearest clothes that came to hand. Annabelle's holdall contained her pair of skintight blue jeans which exposed her shapely feet, a thin white top and sandals. She ran a brush vigorously through her dishevelled long brown hair and looked instantly beach babe material. Simone inclined towards a pair of green slacks and short sleeved light brown T-shirt and her tousled blonde curls fell about her shoulders. Her informality as opposed to her severe teacher garb and wire rimmed spectacles gave the younger woman a sense of lazy satisfaction in the world around them till a thought suddenly struck her.

"It's such a beautiful day. Let's go walk on the beach. Everything looks so fresh and good out there," Annabelle said, suddenly jumping impulsively to her feet. Simone smiled with endearment as it was so like this younger woman to have sudden random ideas.

"I want to part of the big wide world outside with you," Simone said softly,the panoramic view which had been laid out before her suddenly acquiring it magic lustre. The younger woman's enthusiasm was easily contagious.

They laughingly clattered along the boardwalk at the front of the beach house and then clambered down the the flight of steps leading down to the beach like excited schoolgirls. The sun was well up right now but not many people were on the beach as they looked around in wonder. The smooth sands reached out along the coast and felt firm and hard to the feel of their feet. The lightest possible breeze caressed their skin and ruffled their hair. The blue green waters stretched out to the horizon and gentle waves smoothly slid up onto the beach in gentle rhythmic soothing sounds. This was paradise, Simone thought to herself as she saw their surroundings through Annabelle's fresh eyes. She wondered why she hadn't walked along the beach for ages and idly reasoned that it was because she had no one to walk with. She fondly linked her hands through Annabelle's and they leaned their heads against each other as they idly strolled along the beach. Their track led them along the tide line where the dying waves finally caused the icy cold waters to swirl around their feet..

"Say, do they sell hot dogs round here?" the younger woman asked.

"I haven't had one in years," laughed Simone gently as the warmth of the day made it hard to focus her senses together."I think there's a stall over there, up from the flight of steps. That's where I always used to get them," she added, pointing with her arm.

That's where Simone used to go with Amanda, Annabelle thought lazily as she reflected on the set of photographs in the beach house of a younger version of Simone and the dark-haired college student whose body language spoke of an obvious closeness. She was blissfully glad for their shared love.

"You don't mind me keeping the photographs of Amanda?" Simone asked, looking anxiously at her partner.

"She's part of who you are now Simone. If you hadn't have fallen in love with her, perhaps I wouldn't be here," Annabelle replied quietly, fixing her eyes reassuringly on her lover and squeezing her hand affectionately.

A tear or two formed in Simone's blue eyes as she gazed at wonder at the incredible emotional maturity of this remarkable woman. She wanted to embrace her on the spot but felt constrained from doing so and feelings of panic rose up inside her. The world around them was intensely open to scrutiny as she felt as if they were tiny figures pinned down on this flat surface. She then felt her lover's fingers gently stroke her hand and knit themselves round her and saw that look of mingled concern and a will to reassure her. She felt how fiercely protective Annabelle was of every inch of her. She sighed with relief and smiled with pleasure at the glorious day that they were a part of.

"I'm really lucky to have you with you. I really, really admire you," she breathed. Annabelle's radiant smile in reply was whole-souled. Those words came from the heart but were considered by the head and they meant so much to Annabelle coming from this intelligent woman.

They made tracks across the sand and climbed the stone steps up to the wide promenade that opened out onto a mixture of shops selling cheap goods, large old houses long split up into apartments and the odd old timer hanging on in an are that was marginally placed between the seaside area and residential districts. The steady hum of cars announced the state in which, above all else, the automobile ruled the world.

Annabelle saw nothing of this. Her attention was fixed on the white painted, weather boarded booth which sold a mixture of candies, newspapers and, sure enough, a flat electric plate where beefburgers and onions were sizzling. The younger woman put her fingers to her mouth as she floated in a state of indecision as the burgers tasted really nice. Simone read her thoughts like reading a book.

"Come on Annabelle. It's your idea after all," laughed Simone in gentle amusement.

"Don't pretend you don't want some kid's stuff as well," joked the younger woman, not missing Simone's excited glint.

Both women trotted up eagerly to the stall only to meet the middle aged stubbly man with the imprinted expression of Middle America. He wasn't the sort to read newspapers as they were just another form of merchandising He couldn't help reading this headline and it made his blood boil inside. There she was, this spoiled brat who'd been kicked out of two schools while her parents worked their butts off bringing her up. She'd been born with the silver spoon in her mouth and he'd wandered what she'd done to get expelled. Now he knew for certain and it was obvious that this teacher had been way, way out of line. In his time, teachers were a solid part of the community, upholding traditional Christian values and preparing the next generation to go out into the community and earn a living to make America great. This shameless woman obviously couldn't control her lusts and the two of them were shaming the community in which he lived. It was obvious that Senator Tillman had used her wealth and pulled strings to keep her brat out of county jail. God only knew why the courts didn't slam them both in the can like they deserved.

"Come on, I haven't got all day," he snarled, fixing the older woman with his hard eyes. Simone's face turned white with shock as she spotted the newspaper with her own face on the front page and she put two and two together.

"Hot dog or burger, it it? We'll wait at the back of the queue and decide if you like,"Annabelle interjected in the sort of ostensibly polite tones that cut like a knife. It was the kind of ploy she'd deployed against many an authority figure in the past. It steadied Simone's nerves as the man symbolised the sort of parental censure that she'd encountered, not least of all in her own head. It sparked a defiant streak in her that had enabled her to soften the harsh unyielding rules of the Catholic School where she'd previously been a pupil for five years from the age of thirteen onwards and then at a later date, as a teacher.

"You want a hot dog? We'll have two large ones, " Simone said firmly, catching Annabelle's eye. Go Simone, the younger woman thought, her heart starting to race as much as she really hated this bastard."I also want to catch up with the news."

Simone walked elegantly to the pile of newspapers, picked the top one off the pile and stood there, ignoring the man behind the counter and playing her pauses just right.

"Not guilty eh? That's good," she said suspiciously loudly which made the admiring Annabelle consider that her lover must have been a real handful for the Mother Immaculata. Ten out of ten for style, she rated this woman of hers.

"Make it hot dog after all with plenty of mustard," Annabelle chipped in while Simone stared the man down. After beating the rap for 'corrupting the morals of a minor,' Simone had begun to realise that the biggest prison is in the mind as she fished a note from out of the pockets of her slacks and placed it on the counter. Something of her knack came back to her for quietly handling classroom emotional dynamics without ruffling her wavy blond hair or her temper. She stowed the paper under her arm while the two women turned around and started to walk back down the flight of steps. Somehow, the empty free wide open spaces of the beach seemed very inviting.


	4. Chapter 4

"This is delicious," exclaimed Simone in indistinct tones while swallowing morsels of hot dog as they ambled down the concrete staircase back to the beach."I haven't tasted anything as good like this in years."

A step ahead of her, Annabelle shook her head affectionately and a smile spread across her face. Her one time teacher had a hitherto unsuspected childlike quality which was really endearing. Everything that woman of hers said and did felt good to her, she thought to herself in a sudden upwards swing in mood of light-hearted happiness.

Once they'd found their feet on the sands again, they felt human. They chatted as they walked along and the cheap food felt good. The fair haired woman found a tissue in her pocket to wipe the stray mustard that was left at the corners of Annabelle's mouth and then her own. The dark haired woman loved that little gesture of being cared for. Impulsively, Simone's arm reached round the younger woman's waist and her hand rested on her curves as they slowly walked along. Annabelle's hand and her emotions went out in return as she felt the sleek lines of her lover. This was bliss as they walked along the afternoon sky and the shadows on the beach started to lengthen.

"Are you a connoisseur of hot dogs Annabelle?" that soft voice sounded in her ear. The soft laugh that answered told the sharp witted woman that there was an intriguing backstory to this.

"I had a complete food craving for them once when I was a kid. I used to sneak out of school and found this cheap joint that cooked them right. Sometimes I didn't get covered and I got spotted. I never told the teacher what I was up to so they suspected the worst, whatever that was. That's how come I was expelled from school, the first time and I got a record as a troublemaker. It even hit the front page of the Los Angeles Tribune After that, I stopped eating them as I was putting on weight."

"So you got expelled-over hot dogs? I can't believe it or, wait a minute, yes I can," laughed Simone, enchanted at the enchantingly innocent explanation of the luridly recounted written reports she'd seen of Annabelle's lengthy record of school indiscipline which was guaranteed to chill the blood of the boldest teacher. This quietly contemplative woman whose hand was softly pressed against her bare skin was something dissociated from the reports. She knew that what she was discovering about the fascinating depths of this mature loving woman was the real thing.

"You're the only one who knows this- and why I kept on wearing those Buddhist prayer beads. Nobody else would have known," observed that delightfully familiar voice from some place close to her as she gave Simone's waist a gentle, affectionate squeeze. She was referring to the way that Annabelle had, once again, headed for a full on confrontation with authority over her persistent and unreasoning breach of school uniform even after she'd exchanged her denim jacket and short skirt for a regulation white blouse and approved pattern check skirt. She jibbed at removing the beads and it was only when Simone sought to engage with her thinking, to ask the reason why when she discovered how this was a memento of her first lover who had been shipped out to Europe.

.

"I love you so much I want to know everything about you," Simone murmured softly in the other woman's ear.

"The more I know you, the more I love you and want to know more about you, Simone," the younger woman murmured in a dreamy haze, loving their close proximity .

They had been walking a dreamy mile or so while the sun shone behind them. Their feet had paced out a trail that meandered all over the place without either of them thinking just how far they'd walked in terms of the beach house and the café. They suddenly focussed on their location until they suddenly realised that they had come close to home again without them noticing. They both suddenly felt thirsty and hungry.

"Is it all right if I ask a question?"Annabelle asked very politely.

"Sure," the fair haired woman answered. Inwardly, she was slightly nervous as last time the younger woman had spoken that way, it was to softly prize out Simone's locked up secret about her first love, Amanda and unlock a floodload of tears she'd never been permitted before to shed.

"I want to fetch my case from the car. It's got all the things I need for home. I mean you do want me to move in with you, Simone? I know I do."

A surge of completely different emotions flooded through the older woman as first the delicately turned phrase hit her. The touchingly uncertain question that was really a heartfelt plea got to her deepest emotions.

"Of course I want it too, more than anything in my life. Do you need a hand with the case?" Simone asked

"No problems. It's in a wheelie suitcase. You find me spare space in your wardrobes and stuff," the younger woman said perkily.

Annabelle positively skipped out of the house, taking her holdall as it had the car keys inside. Her clattering footsteps across the boardwalk and then up the staircase faded into obscurity. In the meantime, Simone started to look through her wardrobes and chest of drawers and sort out spare space. It only took a short while for her to create the space to her satisfaction and she looked around the beach house with great satisfaction. It was only as she contemplated the situation that she became aware of a yawning absence in the atmosphere. Everywhere felt so still and quiet. Her eyes started to look around the bedroom where the crumpled duvet looked much the same before when only she had lived these past weeks after she had been released from police custody. All the life and magic felt as if it were draining out of the flat as if she'd only been dreaming that her lover had come back to her. Her pulse started racing away with anxiety as her sense of time had become scrambled. Her darling Annabelle had been away for way too long. Something bad had happened to her- or had she appeared at all? Was this some kind of hideous dream she was in right now which she wanted to wake up out of? Her hands started to shake and she ran them through her hair and she became oblivious to sounds except the nightmare that locked her in.

"Simone, I'm back," called out a voice as the rumbling sound of wheels along her boardwalk announced her return. She had her guitar case perilously perched on the top of her case.

"Simone, what's wrong?" the voice so dear to her in all the world finally broke in on her churning reverie. The younger woman returned and saw her lover, white faced, her face in her hands and trembling. Scared as she was by something that had sneaked up on her while she'd been away, she let the case drop and folded Simone into her arms.

It was the physical contact that did the trick as Simone realised the feel of that well remembered body against hers, the strong arms that wound themselves round her shoulders. To Annabelle's intense relief, her lover's body gradually stopped shaking and clung to her as if she would never let her go. Then, she greeted her with a long, soft kiss and, pulling slightly back, attempted to smile.

"Tell me what happened. I've only been away ten minutes,"Annabelle said as a suspicion as to what happened dawned on her. They'd not talked about what had happened to each other since Simone had been arrested. She filed that away for later business.

"As short as that?" Simone said bemusedly. The dark haired woman took her gently by the hand and led her to the bed where they lay down facing each other. Both of them decided that this was the most comfortable place to unload sensitive feelings.

"Wheeling that case down the steps was a real pain in the ass. It took longer than I thought. I did need your help instead of trying to be Action Woman." The younger woman's capacity for simple, honest explanations with her dash of self-deprecating humour lightened Simone's feelings. The beach house suddenly felt normal again as everything came back to life.

"Darling, you don't have to worry. Nothing physically happened, no police raids or Mother Immaculata coming down the chimney," Simone said with a shaky laugh which drew a faint smile from Annabelle."Somehow,I really flipped out for a reason I couldn't explain Don't get me wrong, I'm not neurotic."

"I know you're not. You've had a lot of shit to put up with recently," the younger woman said softly, hugging her gently.

"Perhaps it was some living nightmare of what I'd be like if you weren't around," the older woman said, running her hand through a lock of fair hair that had strayed across her face before she finally steadied herself and she got a grip of the world around her.

"This has taught me one thing. I want so much us for us to live together from here on in after everything we've been through. I want nothing more in life than to wake up every morning and feeling you next to me. I couldn't bear to being ever apart from you, sweetheart " she continued, her definite tone of voice edging into passion.

Annabelle caught her breath,a huge smile suddenly spread across her face and she felt tears prickle her eyes. So much of her efforts had gone into catching her former teacher's attention desperately attracting the attention of the woman who'd intrigued her as mysteriously unplaceable. Somehow, without knowing it, she'd played the game of life far more wisely than she knew all along the line and everything had finally come right. Everything she'd wanted for so long was now theirs for the asking.

"I used to lie in my bed at St Theresa's and dream all about you. After I stayed over here at spring break, I used to wonder if we'd ever live like this all the time. I never let myself believe this could really happen."

Along with a dreamy enchanted quality in Annabelle's voice, her eyes told Simone that her constancy didn't need to be asked for. It was undeniably, hugely present. They drew closer and gently cuddled each other in the subdued lighting. The peace and tranquillity felt so good to them, so soothing. Every bad thought was washed away by their state of fairyland enchantment.

"I'm starving. Want to let me do the cooking? My parents wouldn't ever believe I was actually domesticated," the younger woman suddenly said with that touchingly rapid leap in her train of thought. It was an endearing quality that Simone got to love about her the more they were around each other. She was never quite sure what this lover of hers would come up with next. There was a more serious purpose here as this was Annabelle's quiet way of contributing her fair share.

"Does it really make you nervous. I promise I won't trash the place," the younger woman said, her grey blue eyes locking with the older woman. Simone laughed lightly at her own possessiveness of the kitchen area.

Simone quietly set the table, looked out a couple of large white candles to Annabelle's approving nod while she busied herself neatly in rustling up home made burgers out of some onions and mincemeat she found, decorated the plates with salad and shouted out when dinner was ready. Simone lit the candles and poured out a glass of chilled wine into shapely cut glass creations that drew an appreciative glance from the younger woman.

"I love all this," she said approvingly."Sipping wine with candlelit meals. Do you know, my mother never let me go anywhere near the kitchen? She thought I'd mess it up along with everything in her perfect world."

Simone raised her eyebrows. She always thought that her beach house was neatly kept and couldn't see what Annabelle was driving at. The younger woman's open eyed gaze never left her lover as the delicate colours and shades from the candlelight made Simone look magical. Even the sound of her name sounded cultured as she mouthed it to herself.

"This is different Simone. This is home where everything feels lived in and comfortable. Everything that's decorative has real taste. Nothing's here for show for important political friends. I became a real slob out of principle and because there wasn't any love around."

Despite the dreamy contented quality of the younger woman's voice as the words were phrased slowly, leisurely, Simone wouldn't dream of suppressing a pang of instinctive sympathy for this woman who seemed to have done her growing up all by herself. The more Simone knew of Annabelle, the more she profoundly respected her. They started to eat their meal and every morsel tasted delicious to Simone. She sensed her lover's sharp eyes on her for any false politeness and Annabelle smiled widely, sensing how her culinary arts had gone down so well. She knew that Simone knew how secretly nervous she'd been all along.

"Do you know, ever since you've been here, you haven't smoked one cigarette? I can't believe it," laughed Simone suddenly, unconsciously picking up on her partner's personality quirk.

"It was all for show, just so everyone could think I'm so tough," Annabelle replied with that laconic, self-deprecating manner that said so much. Simone knew how soft and tender the dark-haired woman really was.

Later, Simone looked on lovingly as her partner propped her guitar case next to the wardrobe for a start and proudly placed all her belongings into the spaces left for her. She smiled at the inevitable eyeliner, a makeup trait which was the very first thing she noticed about Annabelle and observed how she neatly hung up her clothes all of which created warm nostalgic feelings of all the various facets of this extraordinary woman, including her denim jacket, complete with patches alluding to the rock and world. The dark-haired woman briefly recalled how Cat had spitefully commented on it at their very first acquaintance. Her eye catching dress in oriental print prompted painful memories in both of them as this was the dress she'd worn at the dance which had rammed in her feelings of helplessness to connect with Simone.

"It's a beautiful dress," Simone said softly, taking in the dark haired woman's suddenly wary expression and feeling the shiny texture. "We need to go out on the town to some club where we can feel comfortable, me in my white lace dress that you once ripped off my back and you in this creation. We need to get the associations right."

The sudden warm smile that swept across Annabelle's face told Simone that she'd guessed right. She placed the dress on the coat hanger and kissed her lover warmly.

Finally, she coloured delicately as she brought out a brown envelope and shyly produced the photographs of her happy, smiling self from when she'd been here that distant spring bank holiday.

"We'll frame them,"Simone declared proudly."We have to do it."

"There's one thing missing," the younger woman said, fixing Simone with her penetrating eyes, visibly glowing ."We need a good picture of both of us."

"Oh yes," Simone said, her eyes glowing, fervently pressing her hands together.


	5. Chapter 5

**B**oth women lay back in the ease and comfort of their home as the turquoise and deep blue of the evening drew in. So much had happened already in twenty-four hours or more that had swiftly propelled their relationship rapidly forwards. It was as if they'd been constrained, held back by forces which had suddenly disappeared and they'd been suddenly released. They ought to have felt vertigo at their relationship moving forwards so quickly but they didn't. They were happy to ride this emotional groove together all down the line, having each other to hold onto. Each woman inside herself felt that their world was right and if there shouldn't be anything to worry about, what was the problem?

"I remember the music that I heard paying from your room. It was really cool," Annabelle said dreamily as she lay on the sofa before breaking into soft laughter."I never expected it first day when I met you that I'd get to like your music."

"And why was that?" Simone said softly, no trace of reproach in her voice.

"I'd been packed off to yet another school. I saw what I was looking to see. I figured you out as just another teacher and didn't open my eyes at first. When I heard your music, I should have guessed what was coming."

"Why don't you pick out something you like? I trust to your taste,"came the gentle words with those dreamy inflections in her voice that made Annabelle feel all soft inside.

Annabelle's curiosity had been niggling away at her all the time she'd lived in the beach house. To her mind, music and books told a lot about the person and this time, she worked in the reverse direction. This fair-haired beauty of hers must have music that would touch her soul. Even if she hadn't heard of some of the music in the rack before, she felt she ought to give it a try. Her eye zeroed in on a cluster of CDs by a certain Tori Amos. She immediately picked out one CD and the vivid image of a slim woman with long, tousled red hair in the open flat countryside immediately caught her eye. Something about the picture told her it was all about freedom and that pleased her.

"Can I put this on? I've never heard of her before," Annabelle said, with the utmost respect. The CD called Scarlett's Walk felt more of an art object to her and she slid the cover out of the case with the greatest care and started to examine the lyrics.

"Wow. I thought the Walt Whitman poems you taught me were hard enough. What can this music be like?"

"Do you want to wait till you're ready to hear it?" Simone quietly asked to be greeted by a grateful look of understanding. Annabelle loved her lover's delicate sense of timing and understanding and smiled and nodded in response. She continued to pore over the lyrics with great care and Simone felt a very astute poetry appreciation mind reverently at work. Finally, Annabelle indicated to the fair haired woman to click on the CD player and inclined herself sideways across the settee to lay her head across the other woman's lap, her legs bent double. Simone realised that this device was the way her lover best felt music going through her. Suddenly a sweetly singing woman's voice came out of nowhere accompanied by rolling piano with the same texture of the waves that broke upon the beach in every living moment of their lives together. Finally the bass and drums gently locked into the piece like a heartbeat, gently pulsing its way through the music. Simone looked tenderly down on her lover whose lips were parted and her eyes were shining like stars. It was only when the fourth track had faded away when the younger woman suddenly reached above her head to click off the CD.

"What's the hell wrong?" Simone asked, her voice slightly raised, her eyebrows knitted. She couldn't understand Annabelle's bizarre reaction, her apparent three hundred and sixty degrees emotional reversal."I thought you loved it..."

"I do," the younger woman interjected passionately, twisting round to fix Simone's gaze. "It's too perfect. I can't take that much intense music and poetry and flip through it like it was some magazine. I really want to take my time to hear everything she's singing."

A slow smile spread across Simone's face. She'd forgotten how intensely she'd felt when she'd first heard Tori Amos's music. It all made sense to her as she ran her fingers through Annabelle's long tresses who turned on her side and snuggled up contentedly.

"That doesn't stop me feeling hungry. Just because you're an art lover doesn't mean you have to starve," suddenly came that mischievous voice out of the magical hush that hung over the room. Simone laughed out loud. She might have expected it.

"Guess it's my turn to cook us dinner,"she said lazily as Annabelle twisted herself around

, a broad grin threatening to split her face into two.

After dinner, Simone noticed her lover suddenly look shy and tongue-tied. This was very abnormal for such a forward thinking and precociously talented woman. Finally, she stopped biting the corner of her lip and found her voice.

"I've still got some books and CDs in my case. I wasn't sure what to do with them."

There was more to it than this, Simone thought. What she deduced was that Annabelle feared that her taste in books and music might appear immature in the eyes of this older, sophisticated woman. Certainly, Annabelle's eyes were downcast as Simone drew the first CD out of the case. It was Nirvana's 'Nevermind" CD. Simone could feel the younger woman crawling out of her skin at the impact of her gaze. Annabelle jumped when she felt the older woman lay her hands on her forearm. She must say something quickly and get it right, she thought, seeking inspiration.

"'Smells like Teen Spirit' "she said, pointing out to the famous track off it. "Perhaps I need some of your anger as much as you like my culture,"she said with infinite tenderness and slow deliberation"There's so much I want to learn about you and from you. I'm not that insecure to be frightened by it."

Annabelle rushed into Simone's outstretched arms. This was a demonstration of simple, heartfelt affection for this infinitely understanding woman who had the kindness not to place herself far above her reach. She clung onto her lover with all her strength and didn't want to let her go for a very long time. Simone could feel tears soaking onto her white shirt and felt enormously privileged to be let into the secrets of this extraordinary woman who was blindingly gifted with talents she so much wanted to explore. When they finally came up for air, the younger woman still draped one arm around the other woman's shoulders. Tears had streaked Annabelle's face but it was a mark of how far they'd both come together that she wasn't bothered one bit that she'd blown her cool. There was no one in the whole wide world but Simone in front of whom she'd so easily let down her guard.

"Let's put them in the case. Everything's all ours now from now on,"she said softly, a gently light in her eyes.

"I'll help you darling," Annabelle said, her voice still raw with emotion. She tilted her head against Simone's and a big, soppy grin spread over her face. She smiled at the vision of this rock chick who once would have sooner have cut off her right arm than verbalise such feelings. When she thought about it she realised to herself what the hell was holding her back? Simone's gentle smile and a soft kiss of her forehead showed how much she had read her thoughts. Ammabelle's response was to draw the other woman closer into herself.

In this mood of exploring each other's emotions ,Annabelle's attention was suddenly attracted by a corner of the living room where she realised that Simone kept her precious books. Her face broke into a smile as she moved towards it and Simone followed her. Of course, her one time teacher would have a discerning book collection from what she'd taught her in class. Even in the circumstances following her arrest, she knew that Simone would move heaven and earth to retrieve her precious books from the clutches of St Theresa's High School. She wondered why she'd never noticed beforehand.

"I'd be really interested to see what books you've been carrying around. You might have blown me away with how right you'd understood my poems but even a prodigy like you must have done some reading," Simone gently interposed with her understanding thoughts and words.

"I'm not all that intellectual,"Annabelle started to say when she felt the other woman's gaze on her. She would never need to apologise for who she was.

"It's all a part of who you are. It matters because you matter,"Simone said with those soft blue eyes that Annabelle had noticed way back when. The younger woman felt weak in the knees. How the hell could this woman of hers read her so well, she wondered? It must have been why their first real verbal exchange way back when had mattered more than she knew. 'Don't say I didn't warn you. Good luck,' she had said when she'd first presented herself outside the Mother Immaculata's door. There was something about what Simone, or rather Miss Bradley, had said and the way she'd said it that had really piqued her interest.

"What's on your mind sweetheart," the voice said in the same even tones, the same way as she did back then. Oh how things had otherwise changed so much in so short a time, Annabelle thought dreamily, as her hazy mind started to frame a response.

"It sounds stupid but I was remembering when you first told me outside the Mother Immaculata's office to take off my nose ring and Buddhist prayer beads. It wasn't what you said but the way you said it."

Simone hadn't expected this conversational development but something, somewhere had given her a fluidity of thinking that she guessed she'd never felt before to track this out of left field train of thought. She was sure that this was Annabelle's doing, not so much by what she said but because of who she was. It made her feel good inside to be so positively influenced by her.

"It's weird thinking of myself that far back, Annabelle. I thought of myself of this very understanding teacher who'd not forgotten how it felt to be young. In fact when I came to think about it, I reconnected with my seventeen year self who really made it hard for the Mother Immaculata to control me,"Simone replied, an undertone of pleasurable pride in her voice. This younger girl didn't know everything she'd got up to but she would tell her. There wasn't anything holding her back now.

"But she did eventually got to control you,"the younger woman said. Instantly, she felt Simone's deflation of spirit and wished she'd shut up. Annabelle quickly embraced her lover to try and squeeze some of the hurt out of her and gently pressed herself to to her.

"Darling, you can tell me what happened if you want or if you don't want, you don't need to say."

The mature woman, more than ten years older than Annabelle felt that she was really only the fourteen year old schoolgirl who was telling the story. Pretty soon, Annabelle clued herself in to what was going on and continued to comfort her with all her natural affection which came natural to her now she could let it out.

"You know the Mother Immaculata was my aunt though she lived in a different neighbourhood. I mean, I grew up with my parents a couple hundred miles away, going to the local school and she was busy with her calling. She looks like my mother and felt like a warmer hearted version of the cold fish that is my mother. My father was no better as both of them raked in the dollars like crazy," Simone started to say in halting tones. Annabelle shuddered, feeling her lover's pain for her. She knew what Simone was saying only too well from her own experiences.

"I realise now that I've always needed love but only on terms I could relate to...I fought against rules which didn't have anything to do God's love for me but I also wanted to be accepted. I was a bright, talented girl and a credit to the school...I used to have long talks with the Mother Immaculata as I naively thought she knew so much I could learn from her but she never knew everything there was to know about me, Amanda for instance. Something in me let her control me even from afar so when I graduated, went to college and taught in schools, yet what I thought of as a pure spiritual pull drew me back from afar. I rebelled yet I conformed...I don't understand it."

The bright alert woman's feelings were overflowing with pity for her poor sweetheart and any thoughts of what had happened to herself were pushed to the background. She knew that this was all too much for Simone's head to deal with in one go but she would have to revisit the very complicated mix of emotions another time. She vowed to herself to be more prepared to deal with a lot of unresolved feelings. She drew Simone tenderly towards her, making gentle,soothing sounds into her ear as she cuddled this troubled woman.

"I'll never treat you the way I got exploited emotionally by her. There'll never be a younger naïve woman, older experienced woman routine between us," Simone cried into her shoulder, fingernails pressing against her shoulders. "I even tiptoed past her door one night and when she called me in to sit awhile and keep her company and ran her fingers through my hair. She'd been drinking, you know. I made the very convenient excuse to say I was tired and wanted to go to bed. I wanted to break away from her like I wanted to break away from that guy at the End of Year dance."

Annabelle was brought up short by the very unpleasant mental picture that was being painted for her. Her immediate impulse was to jump right in and ask the first words that jumped into her mind, probably the right way to put it.

"Honey, what's wrong,"Simone asked softly as she luxuriated in the feel of her lover's skilful touch as she continued to caress her, to sooth her feelings. Annabelle sighed, thought very carefully and looked into those gorgeous blue eyes while holding her round her waist.

"You did ask me, Simone. I can't help asking you a question. You'd better hold onto your hat for this one,"Annabelle replied in her easy joking way that she judged as her best intro.

"And what's that?"

"Let's put it this way. Did you ever feel that the Mother Immaculata was hitting on you? I know that's a crazy, stupid thing to say."

Simone loved the dark-haired woman's reticence and sensitivity. It was one of the trains of thought she'd pursued in the weeks she'd been on her own without coming to a proper conclusion. She needed the sharp intelligence of this woman to bounce her thoughts off.

"It's not stupid at all, Annabelle. It's very brave of you to ask me. You could have let it alone. I've wondered about it the past few weeks and now I think," Simone said and here, her voice slowed down to a very soft deliberate delivery as she squared up to face this complex emotional conundrum,"Yes I think that she always has hit on me emotionally, from when I very first came here when I was thirteen. She didn't hit on me sexually or not in such a way that couldn't be denied or rationalised over because, of course, she's head of a Catholic High School devoted to the spiritual care and education of young girls from important families in the State of California. There are a lot of prying eyes but also very important forces that will protect her from scandal so long as she's not thought of as expendable. And of course, she's my of course, none of my partners were ever good enough for me except for Amanda who she never knew about. The irony as we know now that she was right."

"In other words, she might have hit on you in her way,"Annabelle was emboldened to say, feeling this woman of hers wince as she came out with those final words. She hugged Simone all the tighter.

"She might indeed without me being conscious of it. That's what held me in," Simone said in a very serene manner. She mildly surprised herself by this conclusion but being lovingly embraced by her girlfriend did help so much. The pause that followed felt utterly peaceful and tranquil. Annabelle loved to feel her lover's spirits lighten

"Thank you so much darling. I'd have never got this far if it hadn't been for you," she added. She moved her right hand which had been loosely cast round Annabelle's shoulder and gently brushed the side of her face. She pressed her lips against Annabelle's and gave her a soft, long deep kiss that lasted for eternity in the gentle glow cast by the sidelights.


	6. Chapter 6

Everything in front of Simone's eyes and in her heart was so clear and felt so painful. She could visualise the end of term party at St Theresa's so well and it had started so miserably. She was coming in her capacity of teacher to her class who had worked so well, consort to Michael, a teacher at St Paul's High School and as one of the teaching staff, headed by the Mother Immaculata. As she stood there in her white lace dress, she couldn't believe the way that her boyfriend, Michael had done his usual face saving routine in inviting her out onto the dance floor as an example to all the would be couples. All the schoolgirls in all their finery had sat on the benches and the schoolboys, all gauche and awkward had stuck to the safety of their gang while eyeing the alien beauty of the girls out there on display. She'd compromised as she always had done, to keep the peace and had pretended to smile as his hand rested on her waist even though she felt like crawling out of her skin. Then she felt the full intensity of Annabelle's gaze resting on her as she suddenly emerged out of nowhere and innappropriate desires rose up in her and churn around with her resolution to hold back from each other for both their sakes.

After the group had taken their break, Annabelle had reappeared with her guitar round her neck and talked rapidly to the fair haired guy, Catherine's brother who led the group with electric guitar, bass and drums. She started to sing and play the song and all at once Simone's being was grabbed by this beautiful voice with a trace of husky shadings in it which knocked her sideways. More to the point, her song saw right through Simone as she always had, right from the beginning, through her confusions and it wasn't just was a plea for their love but an honest mature expression of such a protective minded woman, something that met her profound needs. Least of all right now, Annabelle was no flighty adolescent. Yet all the time, she was stuck there in her own self-imposed suit of armour which made her scream out inside to throw it off and just be herself.

"In the space between what's wrong and right

you will find me waiting for you

All your fortresses go down in the night

To the dawn I'll see you through

Cause I know, that you know

you're all over me now

And it's clear it will show

Your curtains will close

And if your heart is cold

My sheets are warm

I will shelter you from the storm."

I will shelter you all through the storm."

The clear tones of her bell like guitar, her gorgeous singing and the incredible intensity of her love filled her with pain and hopeless longing at the same time. Tears started to run down her face amongst all the party sounds and false conviviality. She turned away from everything, from security, from her teaching which had been her vocation, the one thing that she had loved while around her was cold and without meaning. The sound of the music faded away into nothing.

Suddenly, a solitary guitar started playing softly again, without the soft electric phrases backing it, the light tap tap of the drums and gentle pressure of the bass. The finger picking pattern of notes made up a different song with that exactly same enchanting voice but this time the song was strangely familiar. Simone tried to figure out what was going on and became gradually aware that there is no other competing sounds, no party, no thunderstorm outside, no Michael, no Mother Immaculata, nothing but the gentle guitar sounds and soft singing. She realises that she needs to open half an eyelid to get her bearings and she gradually became aware that she was naked, lying on her side underneath the snow white duvet and that she is in her own home. The quilt the other side of the bed is disturbed and empty and Simone thinks she knows the answer.

"Hey Annabelle," she calls out sleepily, her voice failing to achieve that normal clarity of sound she's used to. She sounds like she's smoked a packet of cigarettes the night before and her lungs sound nicotine roughened, she thought to herself.

The circular pattern of music stops and a light pattering of sounds marked the approach of her barefoot lover. Still holding her guitar in her hand, the glorious sight of Annabelle's naked curves emerged through the door. Simone couldn't take her eyes off the centre of her desires. A broad lazy smile spread across her face as she stretched full length and stretched out her arms, to fold them behind the back of her head. This was the life, she thought.

As Annabelle laid aside her guitar,she inclined her head on her side and an impish little smile showed how she'd read her lover's impure thoughts.

"Guess you really love looking at my crotch," she said in her laziest tones.

"I should do as I know it pretty well by now," Simone retorted pertly, folding back a portion of their quilt to display some of her own charms."Why don't you come back into bed with me?"

A laughing Annabelle ran the short distance to their bed and slid alongside Simone. She loved the way their bodies fitted so intimately together so easily and, this time, it was Simone's turn to sweep aside their duvet, lay her lover on her back and make sultry passionate love to her. When both of them had climaxed with a glorious feeling of physical fulfillment, morning sunbeams peeped round the corner of their world and smiled at their interlocked bodies as they dozed off asleep until they were ready to face the day.

"So how come you were playing the guitar so early in the morning?" Simone enquired politely out of interest, leaning on her elbow.

"That music you played me was so inspiring," Annabelle replied so excitedly, a glow of inspiration spread across her face while she lay on her side."You're so great at laying good poetry on me but Tori Amos started also making me think about chord changes, musical arrangements. I know I have to reduce all her little musical tricks down to just my guitar but I woke up at six in the morning with ideas buzzing around in my head. Don't get me wrong I really love lying in bed with you but I was really, really itching to try out the ideas in my head and see if they worked out. You do understand me?"

What could the tired but happy woman say to Annabelle's touchingly eager enthusiasm especially as she was feeling sexually replete with the taste of the younger woman's intimate areas on her tongue? Besides, she was highly receptive to the idea of artistic inspiration and really touched that this woman of hers loved her music like this. For Annabelle to be inspired to deploy her musicianly talents to learn how to play a song that Simone loved was a terrific compliment to her. Tears of joy prickled in her eyes as she gently and lovingly kissed Annabelle and drew her down next to her.

It wasn't until a little while later when they'd got dressed and drank a mug full of hot steaming coffee when Simone couldn't help but verbalise her feelings.

"Do you know, I've had the happiest time in my life these last few days. My life's been completely turned around."

"I'm as sure as hell grateful I decided to drive out here. I really didn't know what I'd be stepping into. I'm really glad I've found out. This is home to me. I really, really love you,"Annabelle replied in her unique way as as her wisecracking mode of speaking melted into unabashed sentiment.

Everything went still as they gazed into each other's eyes seeing what they most loved in the reflection of the other. It took Annabelle by surprise when Simone suddenly veered the conversation right off course.

"I know. Let's go food shopping. We're down on food."

"Do you know, if my mother had suggested it, I'd have felt like throwing up?"Annabelle laughed without a trace of malice in her voice. She had pictured the absurdity of that elegant woman, wearing her blue trouser suit, high heels, every tinted blonde hair immaculately in its sculptured place and then imagined her wrestling with a shopping trolley and waiting patiently at the checkout, while her important schedules were relentlessly piling up.

"So is that a problem? I mean we can't spend days of sea, sunshine, walking along the beach, listening to music and the most glorious sex I've ever had in my life without being just a little bit practical," Simone observed in her mischievous way. Annabelle shook here head and laughed at the endearing way her lover stacked up the order of events, leaving what was the most important to them both right to the last.

"No it is definitely not a problem. Living with you has certainly made me more domesticated,"the dark-haired woman said dreamily.

They looked through the virtually empty fridge freezer together to check out what they'd got and resolved on a full stock up. The dark-haired woman looked idly on as Simone got out her laptop and carefully check out her account on the Bank of America website. It seemed the prudent thing to do as did the way she threw in her ideas for the shopping list. She hung around as Simone locked the front door and they made their way up the long flight of steps right up to the roadside. There at the roadside was her silver grey convertible car, appearing magically out of nowhere.

"There's my car. I never thought I'd see that again," Simone breathed with a sigh of pleasure. She'd been driven here by the Mother Immaculata and coldly deposited along with all her belongings after she'd been released without a word spoken and had never thought further. Jagged pieces had been torn out of her memory and the wonders of her present life with Annabelle had not inclined to reminisce over darker episodes in her life.

Smiling, Annabelle produced the car keys from her holdall and dangled them in front of her.

"How did you get the car keys? Are you qualified to drive?" stumbled the fair-haired woman, trying to get a grip on the chronology of events.

"Sure I can. I found the car keys in your room right after you were arrested. I took my driving test the week after I left St Theresa's. I persuaded Cat's brother- he's the singer in the band- to drop me back at the college and I walked into the school and saw your car and just took it. I saw the Mother Immaculata stare at me as I walked up to the school, glared at her and just drove off in the car."

"Then in that case, I'll do you a deal. I so much want to drive this little beauty to the supermarket but you can drive us back. How about that?"

"I'd so love that darling,"Annabelle said, grabbing her lover and giving her a big hug and kicking both heels off the ground behind her. Simone braced herself as she felt her lover's weight but her heart felt as if it was flying free, full of admiration for Annabelle's headstrong daring.

The fair haired woman eased herself back into the comfortable seat and familiarised herself both with the controls and the necessary mindset. She exchanged broad smiles at the excited woman next to her and knew that when both of them sat in the car, it was at a time when Annabelle was making tentative moves around their budding relationship where she was still in denial about it. She turned the key in the ignition and the rather neglected car sped off down the road, the wing blowing their hair all around them. This was the life, they thought once again, as Simone retraced her rather rusty skills in local geography. The streets of that sedate suburb passed by in apparent slow motion, everywhere quiet and deserted at this hour for reasons why Annabelle couldn't work out. Finally, the car swung into the universally spacious car park where, evening in mid morning, they had to search out a convenient space.

Simone pushed the trolley into the foyer, supposing that the supermarket was a conveniently anonymous place to be. It did cross her mind that, here she was, with another woman at her side but surely it was no big deal. Annabelle held at the list written out in the older woman's neat literate handwriting knowing that her own handiwork was a bit of a scrawl and Simone's script was more restful on her eyes. She smiled at herself knowing that she'd made sure that her own bids were secured, partly due to her lover's easy-going nature, freed from the necessity to play teacher. She looked at the endless aisles of food they passed and wondered, Jesus, why is there such a necessity to have so many brands of sauces?

"We've got to have maple syrup. That's my very favourite," pleaded Annabelle, inching a few improvisations on the list as they went along.

"Your fourth very much favourite?" joked Simone, throwing her a brilliant smile of appreciation."All right, stick it in the cart."

She had turned her head towards Annabelle and carried on walking and didn't notice that the teenager ahead of her with thick brown hair who was talking endlessly in a constant stream to an older woman who soaked everything up without responding.

"Ow. Hey dude, watch where you're driving,"the voice suddenly said in an ugly kind of way before the teenager turned round, scowled and stuck in the verbal knife."Oh, it's you Annabelle. Good morning, Miss Bradley, fancy meeting you here."

"It's no big deal, Catherine. You're out shopping together and so are we," Simone said in her coolest, most unruffled fashion in a way that drew Annabelle's intense admiration.

"Are you two together, I mean as in together together,"Catherine said nastily. Both women took in the other woman with her and she was so clearly a carbon copy in terms of looks and personality. Her glare of disapproval was exactly the same as the junior version. It had a curiously calming effect on Simone while Annabelle became coldly contemptuous.

"You are so ungrammatical Catherine. Haven't you ever learned anything in English?"Annabelle retorted in a very superior fashion. She knew that she sounded really shitty but she reasoned that there were some assholes around who deserved everything they got and didn't deserve consideration. She intercepted Simone's sidelong glance of approval and that was good enough for her.

"I read about you two in the papers. I suppose you're going to tell me you're innocent. You're a couple of goddamn perverts. You shouldn't be allowed to teach for a living."

If there was anything in this world that inflamed Annabelle more than anything else, it was hypocricy. Catherine had the knack of pressing her buttons anyway with her bullying ways and the way that she had kept on needling her all through the last summer term about 'was anything going on with her and Miss Bradley?' The combination of Catherine and the self righteous, censorious Middle American woman living off her addict husband, drumming with 'The Weary' band caused her to deliver a series of short, sharp verbal punches that were designed to verbally kill.

"How's your father, Cat? Is he still in rehab? Do you still get your dad in rehab to send you out any more pot? Have you found any other girls than me to kiss as part of your science experiment?.Oh sorry, I forgot I wasn't supposed to kiss and tell."

"You know, Catherine, the eighth deadly skin is hypocricy, not lesbianism,"quickly interjected Simone with perfect cool and with no attempt to speak quietly in case the neighbours might here. Annabelle's heart rejoiced as she loved this incredibly brave woman of hers. She longed to embrace Simone in the middle of the supermarket but even she thought it was going too far.

"Come on, Catherine. I want to get the shopping done. I'm in a hurry," Catherine's mother said, giving them one last glare and turning away from them. Simone stood, her hands on her hips, breathing in and out rapidly, watching as their enemies slunk off. She caught sight of her lover, her eyes shining like stars and gave her hand a quick squeeze. The monotonous workaday sounds of the supermarket faded into insignificance.

"Make that two maple syrups Annabelle," she said nonchalantly with a little grin on her face and the younger woman darted away with an expression of starry-eyed admiration on her face.


	7. Chapter 7

The two women strolled gently down the endless aisles as if they were treading on air. They paid no heed to the muzak emanating from speakers nor to the strident exhortations to buy whatever bargain was advertised. Annabelle loved the feel of them walking side by side and, when she helpfully darted to where she'd spotted an item on the list, that didn't disturb the bond. Simone felt a delicious sense of harmony that, even undertaking such a mundane activity, where her lover fitted all around her there was no sense of tension. She could never imagine Michael or any past boyfriends acting in an unselfish and cooperative fashion On the contrary, they veered sharply between the unreasonably dominating or the hopelessly unseeing and uncoordinated. She had half-expected the younger woman's attention to be drawn by some eye-catching nonsense or to insist on some selfish adolescent preference but that never happened. She walked onwards with a blissful expression on her face, occasionally nudging Annabelle playfully.

Both of them lingered by the DVD counter but, as their eyes scanned the shelves, they concluded that these blockbusters said nothing about their lives however many units were sold and however high profile they were exhibited in the store. When they finally came to the checkout, they wondered if they would meet any other past acquaintances. It crossed their minds that lightning could strike twice and perhaps the Mother Immaculata might emerge from her lair at St Theresa's and cross their path but no such disturbance bothered them

After they passed through the checkout and the foyer and passed through the swing doors, suddenly the recognisable form of Colins, an old classmate of Annabelle, came into view. She was a slight, nervous girl with a pale face and shoulder-length slightly straggling brown hair. Her nervous habits included that of cutting herself in moments of stress and Simone had kind-heartedly bent the rules for in letting her look after an abandoned porcupine in the dorm. She had been the natural target of Catherine's bullying which Annabelle had done her best to counter. Her attachment to them both was based on the kind-heartedness both had shown her.

"Miss Bradley, Annabelle, it's great to see you both. You both look so well."

"It's down to healthy living. I've even given up smoking cigarettes," joked Annabelle with a sidelong look at Simone whose eyes twinkled with delight.

"You're going food shopping together. I guess you must be sharing a place together though don't think I'm prying," Colins said, ultra nervous at the thought of offending her old teacher and a good friend of hers. To her, Miss Bradley was still Miss Bradley. Annabelle exchanged glances with Simone and went for it.

"We're living together as lovers if that's what you mean. It's been like paradise."

"I'm really glad for you both. I never minded at all even if you two slept together the night of the end of term party and I said so to everyone at the time. I'd love to stop and talk but I'm hurrying to meet mom. She hates it when I'm even a minute late."

Both Annabelle and Simone glowed all over at this kind-hearted girl's approval. The cruelties of schoolgirl pecking orders which had placed her on the bottom rung had left them feeling both feeling angry and contemptuous of the system and when they thought about it, they realised that this was each had seen in the other from a very early moment in their acquaintance. They'd both been sorry to see her perpetually burdened down by life itself and this validation of their lifestyle was incredibly important to them. They each kissed her on her cheek before she scuttled anxiously away.

"You guys look really good together," Colins said over her shoulder, half turning towards them before she was lost in the crowd.

It wasn't till too late that they wished they'd got her cell phone number. Both women felt a pang of loss that one of the nicer memories of St. Theresa's had disappeared into the anonymity of modern American urban life that was always restlessly moving someplace else and forsaking the space that had been occupied. They shook their heads and pushed the trolley back to the car.

"Me for the drive home," Annabelle said gleefully before continuing in a more thoughtful vein."I wouldn't dare trash your car. It's precious to us both and, besides, I'm a good driver.."

After they'd loaded the trunk, Simone bowed to the inevitable and took her unnaccustomed place in the passenger seat. The perspective looked all wrong, she thought, as she saw the younger woman confidently adjust the seat position, check the rear view mirror, turn the ignition and carefully do a left reverse turn to aim it for the exit. Simone was highly attuned to the way Annabelle manoeuvred the car but she couldn't help her left foot tensing over an imaginary break pedal. The knowing look which greeted this subtle move made her blush faintly. Once out on the road, Annabelle powered the car with easy practiced precision which made Simone start to relax.

"Hey you can drive," she exclaimed which made Annabelle laugh out loud. Simone intercepted the mischievous thought that curled at the side of her lover's lips that she'd served a pretty good demonstration that in some aspects of life, Annabelle was ahead of the game.

"I know just what you're thinking, Annabelle Tillman and you're perfectly correct."

The dark-haired woman laughed again in her infectious manner and the two women got into the simple pleasures of being out on the road, in being free as a bird behind the wheel and, in short, living the good old American Dream. They passed by some cars, let angry, aggressive truck drivers claim the space ahead they were desperate to claim. Annabelle noted the turnoff for their side of town and brought the car to a halt with a scrunching sound of pebbles at the side of the road.

"All we need to do is to get the shopping down to the house," sang out Simone eying the long downwards slope and thinking of the weight of shopping they'd bought.."It's just as well they're two of us." Annabelle grinned as she pocketed the keys and prepared to lock up the car. Finally, feeling that their arms had been stretched, they arrived at the kitchen in the beach house and set to work to make use of every inch of space in the fridge / freezer to pack it all in.

"I really want a cup of coffee. I really feel tired and parched," Simone sighed.

"You take it easy darling. I'll fix one up," Annabelle offered.

This was one of the younger woman's little gestures that made her feel appreciated. None of the guys who she'd ever brought back to wherever she lived thought of her other than squaw material. She loved the sight of the younger woman busying herself round their kitchen. Every crevice of the beach house was made for her presence to occupy. She accepted the cup of coffee and a plateful of cookies with grateful pleasure.

"I've got a great idea,"Annabelle exclaimed while they sat back in the morning sunshine, taking things easy."What about slipping on our swimming costumes, getting out on the beach with a picnic meal and getting suntanned? It's a great day outside."

A light bulb switched itself on in Simone's mind. They'd walked along it and soaked up the scenery but the idea of sunbathing struck her as a gorgeously lazy idyll they both deserved to treat themselves to. A slow smile spread across her face which the younger woman was not slow to pick up on.

"You've seen my black bikini. I've still got it. I'm kind of curious to see what you look like,"she said slyly.

"You won't be disappointed. I've got a light blue bikini which is my favourite. What about sun tan lotion?"Simone added sharply, her hand over her mouth."We'll fry in this heat especially as we've not really been out this year."

"Just relax sweetheart," Annabelle replied in her most winning manner."I slipped it into the shopping basket. We've both got shades."

"In which case darling,"Simone said in a self satisfied manner, looping her arm round her lover's shoulder and kissing her full on the lips,"Let the beach party begin."

Half an hour later, Annabelle had changed into her slinky black bikini, revealing the tattoo on the small of her back, her generous breasts and her sleekly brushed hair. In the meantime, Simone had slipped mysteriously into the living room to change with instructions not to look until she was ready. Finally, the answer to the dark-haired woman's growing curiosity was revealed.

"How do I look?" came the call from their bedroom and the younger woman shot into the living room and her jaw dropped. There before her was her beloved, wearing a revealing sky blue bikini that was sculptured into her long, slim figure. It shaped her breasts so perfectly

"Oh wow, Simone, you look like the all-American beach babe. You look really gorgeous. Let's have a look at you from behind," Annabelle exclaimed delightedly.

"You look amazing yourself sweetheart,"Simone answered, grinning openly at her partner's obvious charms. It made a delightful contrast with the way she had once felt compelled to brush aside the dark-haired woman from making a pass at her. She'd swum singlemindedly in her direction at St Theresa's swimming pool and Simone had automatically passed her a purple beach robe while sitting on the side of the pool. In retrospect, this gesture said more about their blossoming relationship than she'd been aware of at the time. Feeling absurdly pleased and flattered, Simone slowly turned around revealing an aspect of her physique that she knew that Annabelle adored. She was delighted to find her stuck for words but was conscious of her rapt admiration and soaked it up greedily.

"And it's perfectly legal for us to parade around the beach like this?" Annabelle asked incredulously, wide-eyed and with a brilliant smile on her face."I can't believe it."

Simone couldn't help giggling helplessly at her lover's endearing charming ways. Life would never be dull with this woman of hers around the house.

A little while later, Simone carried a large holdall carrying the ingredients of a picnic

while the dark-haired woman carried the beach towels. She was chattering away like an excited kid.

"I love picnics, Simone. There's something about being in the fresh air and none of that shit about table manners, sitting up straight and which fork to use. We used to live in Arkansas where my mother was some big shot over there but the best time I remember was stopping over at my best friend's house, Pamela Courson. She was a skinny kid with reddish hair and her parents treated me as their second daughter. They took me on all sorts of family type things and I remember sitting by the river, eating cookies and ice cream and drinking coke and them not minding if my clothes got messed up. Even their meals were kind of fun. That was a good time in my life..."

The older woman saw a kaleidoscope of emotions illuminate Annabelle's expressive features, tailing off into wistful nostalgia, tinged with sadness. She suspected that something bad had overtaken this idyllic childhood and groped around for the right words to say.

"Did you, I mean, how long were you," she started to say when Annabelle answered in a flat, deliberately emotionless tone of voice that chilled Simone to the bone.

"That part of my life ended when my parent's super important careers took me over here so I got yanked away from all the friends I was starting to make, the school where I'd settled down and a place that felt like home. I was getting good grades in elementary school and was the one school I didn't get expelled from. I was treated as a piece of baggage. I could move anywhere-or so they thought. I remember seeing Pamela crying as I sat in the back of the limousine as I was being carried away and I never saw her again. I moved to this glittering museum that's sort of dead. That started me rebelling as no one ever sat me down and asked how I felt."

The younger girl felt Simone's profound need to heal her hurts as a tangible wall of emotion. Tears prickled her eyes at these very real caring feelings. After the frozen cold of her memories, she felt warm again and wanted. She turned to her lover and squeezed her hand tightly, smiling up at her. She didn't want this woman of hers to feel sad on her behalf.

"It does mean that when I say our place feels like home, you know what I mean by it. This will be the best picnic since I was a kid. I know it will be."

"So do I sweetheart," Simone said tenderly and they felt the warmth of the sunshine on their skin and the hard, fine sand under their feet. The wide flat beach and the gently rolling surf promised them blissful pleasures.


	8. Chapter 8

As soon as the two women came onto the beach, the full force of the warmth of the sun shone down on them, tempered by a nice gentle breeze from off the sea. The sunlight was a golden blinding presence, necessitating them to slip on their shades. All at once, it toned down the harshness and the golden reflections on the sea were more bearable. Both women felt up high with the thought of living in paradise and they slipped a free hand inside the other

"Shall we lie down here,"Simone asked politely at a spot on the inclined beach not too far from where the surf broke gently on the beach.

"Anywhere you say is fine," commented Annabelle cheerfully. Simone guessed that unearthing a very intimate confession as to how she'd been wrenched away from a happy moment in her life had paradoxically made her feel all the more strongly that she'd come home again. Annabelle had once told her that the Buddhist prayer beads she wore at St Theresa's and been given to her by her first love who'd been taken with her family to Europe but she's never pressed the younger woman further on the matter.

In her businesslike fashion, she laid the beach towels flat down for them both and smoothed them down with remarkable ease. Simone's amazement at her lover's domestic skills was way more visible on her face than she supposed

"Go on, Simone. I know you're thinking how is this teenage rebel such a natural hausfrau," the younger girls said in her teasing way, tossing her head back to emphasise her point. Simone simply dissolved into an attack of the giggles in a way that made Annabelle regret they were in public view. However, Simone restored the balance by fishing out the suntan lotion out of the holdall which they applied generously. They knew that this was the first time they'd both been in the sun for any length of time that year, however relatively late on in the season it was.

Soon they were lying flat on the beach, looking at the cloudless blue sky through sunshades and soothed by the utter peace and tranquillity except for the soothing rhythmic sounds of the waves breaking on the beach. The sun was a vast yellow orb hanging overhead, pulsing heat, light and energy on them both. Either side of them, the beach spread an infinity of distance and this was their kingdom. The soporific heat of the day slowed the chattering mind, intent on planning schedules, dividing the day up into segments and each was alone with her thoughts but feeling the presence of the other alongside. From time to time, they talked in desultory sentences and turned to look at each other. In Annabelle's eyes, her lover was almost impossibly long legged, her stomach flat, her bikini, a glorious expression of colour and form and her face peaceful and tranquil and blond hair nicely dishevelled. In Simone's eyes, the woman besides her looked incredibly relaxed, at peace with the world and with herself, strands of her dark hair fluttering slightly in the wind, a blissful smile on her face and her black bikini emphasised her natural curviness.

"It's so peaceful out here," murmured Annabelle."We're on a wide flat plain stretching into the distance and the ocean at our feet. I could fall asleep in paradise like this..."

"I can almost feel the sea spray on my feet. I can hear the waves breaking on the beach. It feels so close," Simone joined in, her soft mellow voice dreamy and hypnotic. All the sounds of the sea sounded so clear and distinct to both women while the sun warmed their skin

"Simone, I can feel my feet getting wet," suddenly yelled Annabelle in a sharp distinct voice as the fading rush of the wave on the beach caused the water to seep up the beach that bit further and wet her ankles. She looked down and saw that the tide had crawled up the beach right up to their feet and within inches of the holdall. The taller woman jumped to her feet with surprising speed and grabbing her beach towel made a dramatic lunge for the holdall. As the younger woman made to follow suit, she put her hands on her hips and suddenly burst out laughing at the very rare sight of the very cool, calm and collected Simone losing her dignity. The fair haired woman looked down at her footprints in the sand and, seeing how she'd must have flailed about in an ungainly fashion, joined in with her.

"Since we're relocating up the beach, let's have our picnic, I'm hungry,"Annabelle insisted a little while later.

"You're always hungry," jested Simone, giving her partner a friendly prod and a dazzling smile."You'll eat me out of house and home."

"Lots of sun, sea and sex. That's what's doing it for me," the younger woman replied carelessly and jauntily before letting a note of tenderness into her voice."Good living, home cooking and feeling loved really helps me. The last thing I'll ever be is an anorexic."

They brought out all the food and laid everything reverently on a spare towel as if it were the finest, polished mahogany table. The food tasted good as they ate it outside and cartons of fruit juice washed everything down nicely. Their space on the beach was their private space. Fairly soon, they demolished the food and packed everything away.

"Can you put some sun tan lotion on my back Simone?" Annabelle said with an innocent look on my face."I want to get brown all over."

"So long as you do the same for me. Only fair when you think about it," retorted Simone in her best insouciant manner. Strange muted feelings ran through them as they took it in turns to rub in sun tan lotion into each other's backs and shoulders. They felt a little constrained in not being able to touch each other in the way they liked to do in private. They felt that there was an invisible watcher somewhere in the cosmos but accepted that there were limits in public displays of affection that they had to live with. Soon they settled down on their stomachs, propping themselves up on their elbows and lay there, taking in the sight of all the beach houses lining the coast. They chatted awhile and felt the soothing heat settle them down into a comfortable, mellow feeling. The day seemed timeless, without any cares.

"Hey, do you two chicks want to have some some fun?"

"What the fuck?" Annabelle swore, being rudely shaken out of her reverie by these two guys. Her temper wasn't helped by feeling at a disadvantage as she turned around, feeling drained languid by the heat and blinded by the sudden sunlight from above while these two interlopers stood over them. The two sun-tanned guys with perfect looks, glossy teeth and winning ways had been strolling along the beach and had spotted these two good looking chicks sunbathing on their own from a long distance off. Everyone knew that that was the chick way of hanging around waiting to hook up with two lucky guys.

"Hey, don't take on like this. We are your new best friends. We've heard of a great party downtown and all it needs are two good looking girls like you to help make the scene. There's great food, great booze and fantastic friendly people to meet. We wouldn't invite just anyone but just the two of you you look so cute."

"Are you hitting on us? If you are, we don't want to know" challenged Annabelle fiercely.

"Hey, no big deal, we're only trying to be friendly. You need to be where the action is, man, don't you,"cajoled the other man.

"What do you mean, action?" interjected the blond haired woman in crisp precise tones unlike the cute giggle they had expected. The nearest Adonis couldn't help hopping from one foot to another. Beneath Annabelle's rage, a little part of her suspected that her darling lover was going to play English teacher. She recalled how Simone could brush off aggressive teenage bullies without so much as ruffling her blond locks and the dark-haired woman suspected that history would repeat itself.

"What action? I mean action, action,"the guy said, insisting for all his worth.

"First, you need to define your terms,"Simone said, feeling slightly muzzy from the heat but clicking automatically into gear."In what way is sunbathing not action?. There's the sun, the sea, the beauties of nature which we're tuning into even if you can't appreciate it. In what way is your incoherent description action? It's meaningless. If you ever came up with an essay written like this, I'd give it an F minus and tell you to rewrite it."

The man gaped down at this all-American blonde who was leaning her arm, giving him a good view of her boobs while she was reeling out this schoolmam stuff He felt as if he was right back there in elementary school and he hated it. He couldn't work out why these two chicks more interested in each other than them.

"So you're not interested?"

"We're lesbians, right,"Simone interjected, jumping right into the deep end."Why should we have the slightest interest in you two?"

"Two's company, four's a crowd. Beat it, jerks and go party by yourselves," added Annabelle at a punchier more basic street level.

The two men realised they were on a loser and slunk off, discomforted and moved on along the beach. As they went, Annabelle collapsed full length in loud, hysterical laughter. This was the funniest sight she'd ever seen in her life. A little while later, Simone was carried away by the younger woman's infectious mood. In a lightning flash, she considered all the upheavals in her life over the last few weeks, and then what does she do but pulls out a classic English stylistic dissertation out of her subconscious while all the time she was lying on the beach dressed in a skimpy bikini, next to her girlfriend while some unwanted hormonally inflated guy is staring at her breasts. It struck her as so magnificently absurd and something that said everything about her that had changed for the better.

"Oh wow,"Annabelle said, tears of laughter streaming down her face as soon as she had sucked in enough of a spasm of oxygen to make a response,"You are so amazing. I never thought when I've had some horny guy get the wrong idea to read him the riot act on his English composition. I was looking at the expression on the guy's face. It cracked me up as much as anything. It sure the hell worked."

" I can't get over being called a chick. That's a new experience for me," Simone said, grinning which set Annabelle off in fresh waves of laughter. The expression of offended dignity in her lover's voice was just too much.

"I tell you what. I feel fried by the sun and thirsty as hell. Let's get off the beach and get home. I think we're in danger of burning up."

Simone realised that her partner was right on all counts. They'd not slapped on any sun tan lotion for a bit and their skin was feeling a little tender. That was the sure warning of sunburn if they didn't act smartly and they could both do without any such obstacle to the free expression of their healthy desires.

Annabelle sprang to her feet and stretched out her arm for Simone to haul herself to her feet. She felt her hand being gripped and was pulled to her feet with surprising strength. Both felt a little wobbly after lying down in the heat for so long. Annabelle picked up their picnic basket with one hand and linked her arm with her lover's with her other. She was still grinning as she chattered away and they scrunched over the few high tide pebbles on the beach.

"I still can't get over the way you got rid of those guys. The only thing you didn't do is to point with your hand at those guys and say 'out' without breaking sweat. I so admired you when you used to do that."

"You did?" Simone said smiling affectionately at the jumble of memories that surfaced inside her. Amidst memories of emotional confusion and struggling with her identity, these sunny feelings rose up inside her."I was always conscious of you looking at me, as if you could see right through he."

"You always picked on the right one to punish," Annabelle smiled at her own memories."You were never on an authority trip like some teachers I remember," Annabelle said softly, nestling her head against the other woman's neck.

Both felt the familiar feel of walking on the decking and arriving at the front entry to the beach house. Annabelle felt a fierce sense of identity with where she was now living. In very short order, it had become the outward manifestation of her love for Simone. It was modest in size and every square inch mattered in terms of living space. Already, it wasn't easy to house the combined books, music and clothes but it was both artistic and homely. When she compared it with the grandiose luxury mansion she'd grown up in, there was no competition when she remembered the acres of immaculate carpets, cold pastel walls and furniture that she had to take great care of. It felt like growing up in a museum and it offended her natural spontaneity.

"Home once again," sang out Annabelle, with a nice serene end of the day feeling."Hey, Simone, I've never said that of anywhere else that I've lived."

"I've lived her on and off since I graduated,"came Simone's answer with a contented sigh as a stream of thought off the top of her head."While I was at St Theresa's it was like a paradise without any purpose. You've made it for me, darling."

She put down the holdall, took the younger woman gently in her arms and gave her a long and tender kiss. They made little satisfied noises as they gently pressed up against each other. This also gently erased the unpleasant memory of the two guys as easily as a blackboard wiper removing some obscene graffiti that some vandal had scrawled on their space. All there was left was a smooth blank surface for them to write their own dreams.

"I'll make us a cup of tea for a change," Simone volunteered impulsively."I'm in the mood for it."

The suggestion was greeted by a display of kindly, accepting tolerance that Simone saw as her lover's basic personality trait when she felt secure enough to feel so. A fleeting memory crossed her mind which lingered awhile until it was gone of the edginess of this troublesome schoolgirl whose bad reputation had preceded her. The Mother Immaculata had told her about Annabelle Tillman at some length from the information she'd had when they were in her study, the goldfish bowl containing tame fish content to nudge against the glass bowl peacefully enough. The Los Angeles Tribune front page had read 'Senator's daughter in trouble again' and featured her hand in the foreground trying to deflect the paparazzi's exploding flashbulb. The troublesome student's fair streaked hair would have framed an expression coldly antagonistic if it had been shot in focus. Her first impression of the new student had been those challenging, penetrating wary eyes, lined with eye-liner and ever watchful. Now she took in the beauty of this thoughtful, loving woman who was fresh faced, sun-tanned and whose undying loyalty would never fade away.

"I love you Annabelle," Simone said softly to the other woman who knew she was being lovingly studied in this glorious late afternoon.

"Living with you is the best thing that's ever happened to me darling," Annabelle said with infinite tenderness, gently draping her arms round her beloved and drawing her in.


	9. Chapter 9

While the two women were tenderly embracing in the kitchen, the gurgling sounds of the electric kettle as it boiled over broke in on Simone's consciousness. She lurched sideways, keeping one arm round the younger woman's shoulders. Water had spilled out of the kettle and started running across the base unit. Annabelle's free arm retrieved a sponge from the sink and shoved it against the overflowing water while her lover took it in her stride.

"It's no big deal,"the fair haired woman said totally composed. It was trivial compared with what had happened in her life, especially over the few weeks before their reunion."You must try it. It's refreshing and calming this time of the day."

"This will definitely be a new experience for me. I'm a hardened black coffee woman. It sounds kind of British to drink tea,"the younger woman said in her wise-cracking fashion she hadn't adopted for a while. All at once, she intercepted one of Simone's soft looks that made her feel young and foolish and a little insecure. Once she'd chosen not to react on first instinct, she smiled slowly and dug her way out of the hole that Simone had given her."Don't get me wrong. I know I shouldn't be scared of a new experience especially since it's coming from you."

Simone's quick smile was radiant and filled the room with light and love. She moved lightly round the room to prepare the tea tray, complete with milk and sugar bowl. It looked interestingly civilised, along with all the pictures and photographs and the colours, light and shade and the open door to the balcony. The younger woman studied the nuances of her lover's movements with utter fascination

"Now comes the moment of truth," Simone said mischievously as she watched her lover stir the cup, raise the cup to her mouth and take a very wary sip of the liquid. Inwardly, the younger woman was acutely conscious that her taste buds were irretrievably hard-wired to the caffeine principle and would throw up weird allergies to anything different. She was aware of Simone's amusement at her predicament. As she tasted the liquid, she was vastly surprised how pleasant it tasted. She sat back in her chair and felt incredibly tranquil and relaxed.

"Just because a very stupid British Government tried to make money out of us colonists doesn't mean we should overcompensate," Simone observed drily.

"You've converted me,"the younger woman said decisively."Why should I care about my street credibility? I used to look so tough so no one would hassle me."

Simone looked soulfully at her lover, her soulmate and knew that she'd exposed the heart of what she was about in life. She felt deliciously privileged to be the one person to whom the younger woman exposed herself so candidly and knew that she didn't do this for anyone.

Both women showered and dressed for dinner, Simone in blue jeans and red top and Annabelle in her favourite white patterned top, short skirt and boots. After they had eaten and settled into the living room Annabelle noticed for the first time the small portable TV in the corner. In an idle moment of curiosity, she thought she'd plug them into the electronic outside world just to see if the programmes were as cruddy as she remembered them being. Simone was feeling sleepy from the hours sitting out in the sun and was mildly curious in seeing what would present itself. Both women were prepared to be mildly contemptuous. What they weren't prepared for was a political broadcast from California's own exemplar for career women everywhere, Senator Sarah Tillman. An American flag was draped on a pole at the side of the screen while an immaculately turned out woman, her perfectly dyed blonde hair coaxed into a perfect bob. She sat behind a polished oval teak desk and stared into the viewer, in reality the camera eye with an affectation of candour and straight-talking. Before Annabelle's horrified eyes, she could visualise her mother with the same cold, emotionless voice issuing her a reprimand for her failure to 'have the right attitude', to 'have some impossibly romantic view of the world.' She was even dressed the same way as she was for TV. She could never remember her mother slipping on a pair of jeans like Simone did. Everything her mother did was as if the world's camera was trained on her and it was this that got to Annabelle the most.

"There cannot be true democracy unless women's voices are heard. There cannot be true democracy unless women are given the opportunity to take responsibility for their own lives. There cannot be true democracy unless all citizens are able to participate fully in the lives of their country. At the same time, there is responsibility in facing up to the future and what it brings. The challenges of change are always hard. It is important that we begin to unpack those challenges that confront this nation and realize that we each have a role that requires us to change and become more responsible for shaping our own future. Eleanor Roosevelt understood that every one of us every day has choices to make about the kind of person we are and what we wish to become. You can decide to be someone who brings people together, or you can fall prey to those who wish to divide us. You can be someone who educates yourself, or you can believe that being negative is clever and being cynical is fashionable. You have a choice. When I am talking about "It Takes a Village", I'm obviously not talking just about or even primarily about geographical villages any longer, but about the network of relationships and values that do connect us and binds us together. In particular, all of us have to recognize that we owe our children more than we have been giving them. Our lives are a mixture of different roles. Most of us are doing the best we can to find whatever the right balance is . . . For me, that balance is family, work, and service."

"A fine fucking mother you are. Where were you when I needed you? Out kissing the ass of some creep who'd help you up the stinking, slippery ladder. How can you come out with shit like this- and put Simone and me through so much fucking crap," yelled out Annabelle in a state of perfect fury. She got hold of a cushion and hurled it in the direction of the TV screen. Fortunately, it sailed over the top of the TV and flopped harmlessly against the wall. The woman was standing in the middle of the room, shaking all over and tears running down her face.

"Shoosh, shoosh, darling, your mother isn't here but I am," said Simone in as soothing, calming voice as she could summon up. For a moment, the younger woman never saw her but her arms flailed as if she was trying to hit out at some vague shape in front of her eyes. Simone judged her moment and slipped underneath them and embraced the other woman, her arms wound her back."I won't let you go. I won't let you go, ever," she kept saying into Annabelle's ear. After a little while, she could feel the younger woman's body start to relax, to lose that tension until her arms slipped round Simone and the younger woman with her own vulnerabilities cried into her shoulder. She knew very well what this sensitive woman of hers was doing. She was repaying the exact same compliment down to the very same words when she'd inadvertently found the last goodbye letter that Amanda had ever written her. Simone had got angry with her in this very room when Annabelle had stayed over for the spring break and she had gently freed Simone from her obsessive love from Annette, her first love. She clung onto Simone as her lifeline, her salvation.

"Perhaps you need to know your mother better,"Simone said softly when she sat her down.

"So it's all my fault?" the dark-haired woman said a little brusquely for reasons that felt strangely unfathomable to Simone. The fair haired woman took Annabelle gently by both hands and sat her down on the sofa.

"In any healthy relationship, everything ought to be fifty fifty. I get that with you darling and that's because you're a mature woman and a sensitive human being. It sounds like your mother is incapable of giving emotionally of herself and whatever there is of herself goes into politics."

"How the hell did you work that out?"Annabelle said in tones of amazement, her head swivelling round to face her. She'd never thought to make the connection that this insightful woman had divined. She shook her head as she wondered as a question popped into her mind."OK, smart thinking but what are you getting at? I'll no more play happy families with my family than you will with yours. You told me that one when you were the golden girl who couldn't do wrong."

"You don't have to see her again unless you want to. I know that my parents will disown me anyway after reading the headlines,"Simone said soothingly, running her fingers through her lover's long brown hair.

"I suppose not," Annabelle said in strangely muted tones, her eyelids lowered."After all, those cigarettes I picked up in Thailand was only because after I was busted from my last school, I was taken on holiday only because they were going on a business trip," the dark-haired woman said in sombre tones.

"OK, so we need to get to know our enemy better," Simone observed in bright precise tone of voice."As we can't do it the straightforward natural way, let's see what the internet has on offer,"the fair haired woman suggested persuasively. Annabelle was non committal. Doubting that it would contain meaningful information out there, she let Simone go ahead with her sudden enthusiasm for this research project.

Simone clicked onto Wikipedia out of curiosity to view, out of scientific research, the public perception of Senator Tillman. There she was, a colour photograph of the same glassily smiling face and immaculate blond hair, dressed in a blue power suit, the flag of America at the side of her. The facts were all neatly set out, broken down into categories of 'early life and education,' ' marriage and family, law career','political career', everything perfectly in her place. Annabelle rested her chin on Simone's shoulder and both of them were overcome by an increasing sense of alienation and unreality.

"Sarah Rodham embarked on a career in law after graduating from Yale Law School in 1983. Following a stint as a Congressional Council legal counsel, she moved to Arkansas in 1984 and married Ben Tillman in 1978. Tillman cofounded the Arkansas Advocates for Children and Families in 1987 and became the first female chair of the Legal Services Corporation in 1978. Named the first female partner at Rose Firm Law in 1989, she was twice listed as one of the 100 most influential lawyers in America. First Lady of Arkansas from 1989 to 1991 and 1993 to 2000 with husband Ben as CEO of Apple Computers, she successfully led a task force to reform Arkansas's education system. She sat on the board of directors of Wal-Mart and several other corporations...".

"This doesn't describe a living, breathing, feeling human being. Perhaps they've left all the important bits out," suggested Simone in an unconscious side-swipe at official history.

"They've missed nothing, trust me,"the younger woman said laconically before her mood veered towards the coldly angry."That's what she's like. She has all sorts of minders and all sorts of shit to fix things so why would she be any different at home? I'm bored thinking about her so let's change the record."

"Let's turn the television off for a start,"Simone said reaching over the dark-haired woman to the remote control to click it off. They could see the programme getting ready to repeat the same speech on the 24 hour news channel that Annabelle had picked up on. Just as the woman's power suit and flag of America appeared on the screen, Simone decisively clicked it off, collapsing the image in on itself. It made both of them smile a little and it restored the atmosphere of loving calm to them in an instant. The TV screen ushered in a babbling neurotic outside world always wanting to sell them something, from instant feminism to the latest fashion accessories. This chilled out beach life suited them down to ground and the demise of the electronic intruder was greeted with a sigh of relief .

"What about playing you some of your songs darling," exclaimed Simone excitedly, pressing her hands together."We need something positive and inspiring. I've not heard enough of you."

The shy little smile on Annabelle's face showed that this suggestion had hit the right spot. She unclipped her guitar case and her instrument was more of a work of art, the sound box face being painted green incorporating various artistic designs and the words 'practice' which Simone guessed crystallised this woman's attitude to this form of art. She sat on the corner of the settee and paused while she ran her mind over her repertoire. Then, with a broader smile, she nipped into their bedroom and fished out a notebook on which she'd written some lyrics. Instantly, the tinkling delicate notes took a circular path round the melody and her husky voice softly articulated the feel of brilliant sunshine out on the road and on endless treasures they'd pass through together.

"Way up North I took my day

All in all it was a pretty nice day

and I put the hood right back where

You could taste heaven

perfectly

Feel out the summer breeze

didn't know when we'd be back

and I – I don't

didn't think

we'd end up like

like this"

While Annabelle was playing this Tori Amos song that she'd learnt with extraordinary speed, she was conscious of the extraordinary concentration that her lover was bestowing on her. It wasn't just her sensitive intelligence feeling the nuances of her performance and being blown away by hearing one of her favourite song being picked up on so quickly. She also realised that Simone was looking intently at the shapes her left hand was framing of the underlying chord progressions that underlay her arpeggio playing. Suddenly, as she drew the song to a close, a wide smile spread across her face and the irresistible question popped into her mind and begged to be expressed.

"Can I ask you a question, Simone?" she asked in innocent tones. The other woman looked carefully before answering. She'd been through this movie before when this astute woman had discovered in this very house last spring break that she'd been in love with Amanda, her close childhood friend. If she said yes, she had better get prepared for anything, this highly observant woman of hers might spot.

"Sure," came the easy answer.

"Have you ever played guitar before? You look as if you know what you're seeing," Annabelle asked gently.

Simone blushed a delicate pink and looked down at the floor. In a spirit of pure compassion, Annabelle laid aside her guitar and placed her hand gently on her lover's arm. She looked anxiously into her eyes, trying to convey to her in looks that it wouldn't hurt to tell how she felt. She strongly suspected what the truth was anyway.

"You do ask the hard questions Annabelle,"Simone said shakily, running her hands through her hair with her habitual gesture when under pressure.

"Darling," urged the younger woman, her voice almost aching with tenderness,"you've come such a long way so quickly and you're so strong right now I admire you so much."

"Really?"Simone asked with eyebrows raised. The other woman smiled tenderly and shook her head with amazement. For reasons she didn't know, this beautifully talented

woman was so painfully short of self belief. She'd come to know her first as a great teacher who could get through to those complicated girls wearing emotional suits of armour when inside, they were begging for simple love and understanding. She'd seen how those authoritarian teachers would run their fascist routines and turned off women like her at the first encounter. She was certain that Simone wasn't even aware how far ahead she was of other teachers she'd suffered under. Then again, it was only an intimate moment in the library of St Theresa's that had taught her how Simone took great pictures and conceived of the unexpected idea of painting over them. With her little brushes, she knew how talented a painter she was yet she was so shy and self conscious. What further unsuspected talent would this extraordinary talent reveal, she wondered as she shook her head again thinking tender protective thoughts of her beloved.

"Darling, you've got amazing artistic talent that goes across boundaries. If there's something else you're talented at, you must let me know," she said with infinite tenderness, her eyes wide open and watery. Simone finally resolved to make her decision.

"Wait a moment Annabelle. I'll be right back in a moment," the other woman said, in a much firmer voice. She disappeared out to the hallway and a clattering sound could be heard. Annabelle waited patiently for her lover to return.


	10. Chapter 10

Annabelle smiled as she heard clumping sounds of a pair of short stepladders being dragged out and placed in position and she guessed that her lover was climbing up into a storage space in the roof . She knew that a very determined woman was on a mission and judged that Simone felt most comfortable on her own or else she would have asked for help. She marvelled that, once again she'd uncovered another hidden side of this extraordinary multi-faceted woman. Looking back on it, it wasn't that much of a stretch to reason that a woman who had a loving fascination with poetry and a really clear way of bringing out the best in the class she taught must be some kind of an artist. She thought of other teachers that she'd encountered and they had a small minded fascist hunger to indoctrinate their pupils and to squash any independent thinking. Simone on the other hand, loved to draw out perceptive insights, even ones that she'd not thought of herself. Throw her a ball and she'd catch it and run with it. It was when she'd first started talking to Simone in any depth in the calming influence of the library that she'd shyly shown her the series of photographs of the dark-haired woman wearing a crucifix and the younger version of Simone. Their shared physical proximity had told Annabelle that the two women had been in love with each other and this had been the way in for her to reach out for the love that was growing inside Simone without her knowing it. Now they were living together, what more would be revealed of this adorable woman?

"Come help me, Annabelle," called out a familiar voice from outside the living room, edged with a trace of fear. The dark-haired woman shot out of her seat to the hallway. As she expected, an open hatch in the ceiling appeared before her eyes from which a pair of shapely denim-clad legs extended and the narrow end of a black guitar case.

"Back out a bit and pass it down to me darling," Annabelle replied in clear commanding tones. After some shuffling around, Simone did as was suggested and her arms held tightly to a black guitar case which hadn't seen the light of day for a while.

"I'll take it, don't worry,"the dark haired woman said in her most soothing tones. She guessed that Simone had really wanted to not produce it into the light of day till she was ready and she felt nervous about letting her lover take it over from her. Annabelle carefully took the weight of the case and carefully propped it against the sliding glass door at the front of the , the fair haired woman gradually let herself down and Annabelle sensed that she was stuck, holding onto the edge of the world that sustained her and fearful in jumping down onto the top step of the folding ladder in case she might fall.

"Your feet are right over the top step. I'll catch you. Be strong darling,"the younger woman called out, her strong arms outstretched seeking to reach her lover by calm logic and the force of her love. Suddenly, Simone's body dropped down and, bracing herself, the younger woman absorbed the weight as her lover's feet clattered down the steps and they rolled sideways against the wall. Annabelle's arms clung tightly to her lover who was shivering with delayed reaction. She led Simone to the settee, brought in her guitar case and settled back on the settee to give her some tender, loving care.

"You don't mind me asking but how did you get up there in the first place?" the younger woman said softly into Simone's ear

"Determination," replied Simone simply."I just had to do it."

"I can relate to that. We're both pretty obstinate women," chuckled Annabelle as she thought about it. It crossed her mind that this woman of hers was more like her than she had ever supposed and coming out as a lesbian might mean that previously unexplored potential in her was being released. If that were the case, then it meant that living with Simone- how she loved to savour those words- was bound to be interesting amongst other things.

"That reminds me of something. You really gave it to those guys on the beach the other day. You didn't bullshit around when you told them that we're lesbians."

"I went through so much when I started to be attracted to you. I had to be teacher as well, going through the grieving process for losing Amanda, feeling condemned for my thoughts of innappropriate lust for you, not respecting boundaries which I didn't feel I could question, all that Catholic guilt that really hammers you for the wrong feelings and being arrested for sleeping with you. Thank God I'm through on the other side and nothing can hold me back.," Simone said in a tone of voice that veered from reflective to outright determined of voice as she stared out the front window curtains to the infinite possibilities of endless oceans.

"So playing guitar should be a cinch after all the personal dragons you've slain," gently interposed Annabelle, a mischievous smirk spreading across her face. Simone's head turned round and could have slapped herself for so neatly being edged into the trap by her very artful lover. Her momentary irritation evaporated when she saw the gentle softness in Annabelle's extraordinary eyes. She laughed softly, seeing the funny side of the situation.

"All right but I'm going to be really rusty. I have to think of what the chord shapes are like. I haven't played this thing in years. My fingertips will hurt, I know it."

Even while she spoke, she unclipped the guitar case and drew out the instrument. To her surprise, it hadn't mouldered away and decayed as she had expected, being what she had expected of a talent that had been left untended. Annabelle fetched out a duster and handed it to her lover who wiped it along the face and rested it on her knee.

"You've let the strings stay slack. That means they won't be strained," Annabelle suggested helpfully.

"How do I tune this thing?" the fair-haired woman muttered under her breath in a moment of panic before her eyes met Annabelle's. She had quietly got out her own guitar and without saying anything, the obvious solution formulated itself. As Simone ran her fingers through her curly fair hair, she really wasn't sure if getting the answer to this basic problem would make her more relieved or whether being forced to confront the final challenge before her would make her more nervous than ever. As the younger woman struck repeated notes from the bottom string, the more mature, supposedly more woman of the world became very fearful that her talents in this direction might be slighter than this woman of hers who so obviously adored her and had every faith in her. As her own self-esteem wasn't that certain, she feared that the wave of loving emotion emanating from Annabelle might be too hard to live up to. Suddenly, from out of nowhere, an ancient memory of her younger self home in the summer vacation in her lonely bedroom. She'd been dragged to the house she lived in by her parents while Amanda's parents had conspired to take her away on holiday. She was alone in this empty house with nothing to do except pine for her lover and, when her feelings became impossibly intense, she had decided to find some kind of outlet and dedicated herself to practising on her guitar. She had learnt the basic trick of tuning guitar strings against each other and she had tried to learn the basics of the guitar but her progress had been painfully slow. Now that she had a soul mate at her side,this felt more possible this time around and she methodically got to work. The lightest pressure of her lover's hand on her shoulder gave her a spark of confidence and encouragement to carry on.

"Well, this is the scary part,"Simone joked nervously when she had repeatedly struck one string after another rising up the scales followed by Annabelle's guitar. She was now tuned right so she now felt hideously naked with the implication that she had to play something that would knock out her terrifyingly expert lover. "Guess I ought to really apologise to all those generations of pupils I gave a hard time in English composition."

"Darling, just play some chords that you feel like just to loosen up and get comfortable,"the younger woman said, aching to heal her lover's nerves and handing her a plastic guitar pick. It was that appealing smile, that note of tenderness in her voice that suddenly swayed Simone to gather up her courage. She'd been gripped by a terrifyingly primal emotion of being judged and found wanting, Now she was outside that experience the rational side of her could see that it was a weakness in her that could be healed. She adjusted her guitar for comfort and strummed away at a sequence of basic major chords that she remembered best, humming softly and wordlessly to herself. Instantly, the younger woman felt that there was a rhythm at work there and her singing voice was sweet and pure. She'd always loved the sound of Simone's light, soft attractive voice as she spoke in the classroom and, amidst her more sexual musings about this intriguing woman, she had idly wondered how her voice would translate to music. Now she knew.

"Sorry, that's the best I can do. I'm really rusty," Simone said as her strumming petered out. She blushed pink with embarrassment at having exposed herself and looked out into the distance."You sound so much better than me."

"There's something there that sounds pretty good," interjected the younger woman as she laid down her own guitar and moved to grab Simone's eye contact."Is there a simple song that you know?"

"That's all the trouble,"exclaimed Simone passionately as her feelings welled to the surface."I've always loved music- my secret love- as opposed to poetry but I got

frustrated as none of the songs I most loved were within my reach. I tried to strip the songs down to basic chord arrangements but it didn't sound like the music in my head. You know what happened with me and Amanda. I fell into a deep depression when my love for her ended up badly. You saw the note."

Something puzzled Annabelle immensely. She clearly recalled Simone saying that Amanda died a few years ago yet she got the idea that they fell in love while they were both pupils at St Theresa's. The chronology was all wrong. She remembered the farewell note that Amanda had left for Simone and couldn't work out when she'd written it. That was another puzzle that she had filed away for a later date. It didn't matter right now and was pressing on her was to get her lover to make that tentative jump into the unknown. She needed a simple yet meaningful song they could work on together.

"We need a simple song we can work on that we can believe in. Let me think, let me think,"Annabelle shouted excitedly waving her arms round in a demented fashion."I know, I've got it, the first song I ever learnt, "Amazing Grace."

Simone laughed out loud at the absurdity of this affirmation of religious when she recalled that her most vital emotional drives had been devoted to pushing against the intellectual corset of the Catholic Church. Laughingly Annabelle jumped right in on this one.

"Hey come on, Simone. It's gospel so it's cool. It depends how you read it. You can read the song into anyone who's found herself."

This sharp observation brought up Simone short. She knew she had to start somewhere if she wanted to live her dreams and her respect for Annabelle's opinions ran deep and went back to before she'd fallen in love with her. She nodded her head and reached for her guitar pick.

"OK, I''l do it but there's one way you can help. Can you write out the lyrics and show me where the chord changes take place? That way will suit me best."

"Sure. I'll do whatever makes you comfortable," grinned the younger woman, her heart warmed as Simone was telling her that she wasn't too proud to learn from her lover and one-time pupil. She reached for a writing pad while Simone reached for her reading glasses. At one time, she wore her hair severely tied up in a bun on the back of her head rather like the Mother Immaculata but, since the first night they'd ever spent together, she let her slightly curly hair hang free and her spectacles gave her a studious look without appearing severe. The younger woman wrote carefully in her neatest writing, tapping the biro on her teeth as she ran through where the chord changes were placed. Normally, she'd just play the song as it felt right.

"All you've got to remember, darling is to hit the strings with the downstroke as soon as you start singing, play it like you played earlier on and just let it flow," the younger woman said in her easiest tones. At all costs she didn't want to crowd her lover whose nervousness she could palpably feel. Her thoughtfulness steadied Simone as she focussed on the writing.

"When I sing the high note, do I play it in D? I thought I'd play it higher than G,"Simone questioned.

"Trust me, you do. If you're not sure, just play the chords and hum the song to yourself. You've got to check out yourself it'll work,"answered the younger woman, placing her hand tenderly on her lover's arm.

Thus encouraged, Simone went ahead and her face brightened when she came to the bit that worried her and it felt right. This was all the encouragement she needed and she sailed into the song with all the feelings welling up inside herself that she was, indeed saved. She felt her guitar and her voice mould together and for the first time in her life, she had broken through the barrier that had held her back all those years ago. Her heart was flying and she was in love with herself and the music she was making. The younger woman sat back entranced at the purity of Simone's singing. She was really, really good. As she came to the end, she felt possessed.

By the time evening drew in, the two women felt enchanted. Simone knew that her lover was giving so generously all the skills she'd learnt in the isolation of her own home and a bit at a time to help her. Years ago, she'd come up against what she'd felt was an insuperable barrier to her creativity in the summer vacation when she'd been in a state of enforced isolation. Now that scar in her was healed and made whole. She'd ventured on a couple more songs before the steel strings made her fingertips too sore to play with. They'd harden up, Annabelle assured her. It was at that moment that Simone's emotions spilled over into heartfelt words.

"You're a really good teacher," Simone said a little breathlessly, flushed with pleasure and a sense of fulfilment. Her guitar rested on her knee and her forearm on the top of her guitar box. She felt that a long neglected part of herself had been brought back to life thanks to the younger woman's gentle ministrations as had her self awareness as a loving, passionate woman."I'm not the most relaxed pupil you could find but you are so good for me."

"Darling, that's so sweet of you. I love you so much for that ," was all that Annabelle could say to this emotional generosity as a golden glow lit up inside her. She meant a million times more than her words said as a whole-souled smile spread across her face .

Feeling sleepy and peaceful, they headed to their bedroom, undressed in the gentle light and slid into bed. They turned towards each other and felt the total bliss as they tenderly slid into each other's arms and the first soft kisses was the sure precursor of the physical demonstration of their love for each other.


	11. Chapter 11

When both women got up the next day, they were both feeling good about themselves. It gradually dawned on them both that treating a new day as another drudgery to be endured was an unnatural frame of mind. At best, it was an understandable frame of mind if life was incomplete and they'd both been there. Simone had long been miserable in feeling eaten up by guilt while being painfully aware of denying some part of her own nature while Annabelle had been depressed by the failure of all her best efforts to seduce her bewitchingly attractive teacher. Now that was behind them both. Waking up to the feel of being embraced from behind by a shapely female arm did each woman's sense of well being a whole lot of good. Since they'd started sharing the same bed, it wasn't their habit to be in a great hurry to get dressed and today was no exception.

"I think I'll take a shower. Showers can be fun, you know," Annabelle said with a lazy smile on her face, looking at the fair haired beauty, sitting up in bed and naked to the waist. In turn, Simone loved the sight of her lover, long dark hair falling over her shoulders, eyes glinting mischief and her glorious statuesque body in front of her eyes. Now she turned away and walked towards the shower, lazily taking her time and displaying all her charms. She looked over her shoulder to deliver a meaning look and a roll of her eyes. In no time at all, she slipped out of bed and followed after her.

When she'd cut down the distance that separated them, Annabelle took Simone's hand in her own and a shiver of electricity ran through her. She smiled to herself, wondering why she'd been so slow on the uptake.

"You know, sweetheart, when you give me the eye, I'm bound to follow. When you take me by the hand, all sorts of delicious feelings rise up inside me."

The husky, lust edged intonation in Simone's normally clear speaking voice did wonders for own sense of well being. It said a lot about their relationship except that this woman of hers was coming up fast in so many ways. As she led the way to the shower, she remembered the nervous habit Simone used to have of fiddling with the gold crucifix she wore round her neck. Both habit and crucifix had gone.

"Darling, I can watch all the little moves you make and it really gets my libido going. You're such a fast learner,"the younger woman said, sliding the shower screen aside while Simone reached for the shower gel.

She expertly adjusted the shower system to just the right temperature as they climbed inside. To the older woman's enchanted delight, Annabelle started rubbing the gel into her body while a stream of warm water sluicing down from above made this an enchanting experience. A sideways glance from the attractive woman whose long dark hair hung damply down her back and her delicious proximity hinted to Simone that it was down to her to return the compliment.

"So is this just about showering," Simone hazarded a guess to be greeted by a naughty grin from the smaller woman who reached sideways for the hair shampoo.

This was some kind of exquisite torture, Simone muttered, especially when a stray hand came into contact with one of her already hardened nipples, standing out from her soft skin. An audible gasp escaped her lips while the younger woman expertly scrubbed the shampoo into her scalp. Admittedly her skin and hair was feeling refreshed all over but she was feeling overwhelmed by lustful desires to press herself against her lover and stick her tongue down her lover's throat.

"Does it take this long to shower?" Simone said, an undertone of agonised craving etching her clear tones. She suspected that, as she was not being over thorough in ministering to her lover, this mischievous woman would reciprocate.

"Just finishing up washing down your gorgeous butt. Don't think I haven't been thinking what you're thinking," came the reply in a lazy tantalising drawl while the feel of those expert fingers caused her muscles to flex. She gave Annabelle barely enough time to finish when she rinsed her hands quickly and pinned her lover up against the shower wall, kissing her furiously. Soon, her tongue was deep in Annabelle's mouth and to her delighted pleasure, this woman of hers was starting to take fire. Simone was really getting to love such fast, furious lovemaking as opposed to the gentleness the previous night. It all depended on how they both felt at the time. In return, the dark-haired woman knew she had teased and tantalised her lover but didn't quite expect her to ravish her the way that she was doing. This is the life, she thought, this blonde beauty of hers making passionate love to her against the shower wall.

A definite sense of purpose overtook the two women the next morning. Annabelle could tell that she'd lit the fuse for this extraordinary woman's musical talents to flourish, something she'd never even known if she hadn't picked up on the way Simone had observed her playing guitar. Right from first thing , Simone begged her to write out lyrics and chord arrangements for songs she knew as as they came into her mind. The dark-haired woman filtered out some songs which were way too complicated to tackle but she admired her lover's taste in knowing them in the first place. As time went on, she watched her lover sing and play guitar and really work on it. She studied Simone's finely carved features and intent expression, her guitar bedded down against her body. To begin with, she carefully read the lyrics and studied where the chords changed as an academic exercise to be learned. After a little while, to her amazement and wonder, she saw how Simone poised her guitar playing poised against her singing. Annabelle's generous heart soared as she saw how her lover was coming on by leaps and bounds and knew she was now ready for a crash course in song arrangement.

"OK, let's take this class forward so you get to tune into the structure of the song. Put out of your mind the fancy lead guitar solo or the neat jazzy drumming. They're all frills until you get to play in a group," the younger woman said in a commanding voice with a knowing smirk on her face. The irony of the situation to both of them was irresistible.

"Yes teacher," grinned Simone to the younger woman who laughed out loud in her infectious way.

"What's really important is the difference between major and minor chords. You can have them in the same song as major chords are happy, minor chords are sad and you can have chords in sevenths which are kind of edgy. They can be really cool to play. "

"What's a seventh?"persisted Simone, her curiosity aroused. Annabelle had done a good job in systematizing what was at the back of her memory, ideas that she'd played around with during that long ago vacation but she was now starting to break new ground. The other woman looked a bit sheepish and then finally confessed all.

"I'm not that much of a music scholar. I think it's the seventh note in the music scale which is kind of messed around with. I just know it by the way it sounds, hey."

"So what song do we try next? Perhaps you pick one this time,"Simone said softly, laying her hand on her lover's forearm. This eased the dark-haired woman out of her earlier awkwardness and moved her with her gentleness.

"Sure. Let me think about something really good,"Annabelle replied as she screwed up her face with an effort at concentration. She was prompted to dig up memories of a fragment of a song she'd half heard in passing on the radio a year or so back. The melody and chorus had stuck in her mind but she hadn't properly got the lyrics. She'd puzzled and puzzled over the lyrics and had even considered having done with it and using what she'd got in a song of her own but she'd never got round to it. Now she had a suspicion in her mind that Simone might have the answer, having discovered how closely their musical paths intertwined around each other.

"There's this old folk song I heard once but I never ever got it right. I'll play it for you,"Annabelle said in a hesitant tone of voice, reaching for her own guitar. All at once, her shapely fingers delicately plucked her strings, her fingers framing a C major chord. Her slightly husky voice lingered over the following lines, smiling into Simone's eyes as they obviously recalled nights spent in a dormitory bed with a hard, resistant mattress that gave no joy and waking up to dark loneliness and isolation. The fair-haired woman found no stretch in reading Annabelle's feelings as she'd been asleep in her own double bed that was walled off from the rest of the dormitory as feelings of love and desire had started seeping into her own consciousness.

"Yes and only if my own true love was waiting

yes, and if I could hear her heart a softly pounding

Only if she was lying by me

Then I'd lie in my bed once again."

"That's all,"the dark-haired woman said apologetically as her finger picking trailed apologetically to a stop "Darling if you can fill in the rest of the lyrics, I will be your slave forever."

With a broad smile, Simone picked up the writing pad. Annabelle had lovingly written out a number of songs in her best handwriting as it shaped up to becoming their joint songbook. She carefully inscribed the lyrics from memory, leaving space for the dark-haired woman to work out the chord changes. Annabelle's mouth was open with delight as the answer to the long standing puzzle was at last made clear.

"I heard the same song when I was at my parents on summer vacation while Amanda

was holidaying somewhere far away. Those lyrics were burned into my soul for life as I really felt them at the time. They came back into my mind when we were both at St Theresa's,"Simone recalled dreamily from memories of the distant past. A quick smile delicately told this woman of hers how Amanda had been supplanted in her dreams with due respect which was now turned into reality.

"This is great,"Annabelle replied with gleaming eyes, taking over the pad and paper, humming the tune and playing the chords on her guitar. A quick grin told Simone that she'd struck lucky and the song that had eluded her was now within her reach. As she marked out the arrangement, her first instinct was to sail into the song in her normal finger-picking style but then she stopped short.

"There's only one chord that you've never played it before and that's G7. Do you want me to show it to you? It's pretty easy."

Simone loved her lover's gentle supportiveness. She'd grown up in an environment that said 'thou shalt not' and it had rubbed off on her over the years despite her periods of rebelliousness. She'd even got to the point where she'd been an upholder of this authority though in her subtly different way that she'd customised and her lessons had encouraged a sense of individuality in her students. Without pontificating on the subject, everything about this 'wise beyond her years' woman was to tell her that 'yes you can' while knowing all the while that bad things in life were to be avoided but not because some authority figure said so.

"I've just been thinking to myself, why God had always been made out to be a man. It doesn't make sense," Simone said dreamily to herself as she vocalised this interesting train of thought. More than ever in this relaxed environment, she was able to let her thoughts run free and she felt safe.

"What?" Annabelle said, swivelling her head round in wonder. When she thought about it, of course this intelligent woman was right and, before getting down to the task in hand, felt morally obliged to pursue this interesting tangent.

"I mean, you are right. I get this same image from all the Religious Education classes. It's not so much that they beat you over the head with it but what was insinuated. I couldn't take that crap and used to question it. The teachers hadn't your understanding and maturity and that was partly why I got expelled from my last school. Now back to the lesson of the G7 chord."

Simone grinned widely at the way their roles were neatly reversed in this teacher pupil thing and she had to admit how well Annabelle had handled the situation. The smirk on the younger woman's face showed that she'd got the joke.

"All you have to do is to do a G major but press the top string on the first, not third position. Try your forefinger, not your little finger. There you are, you've got it. Now hit that chord."

Simone did as her clear speaking friend told her and she produced a strange edgy sound came from her guitar. She liked the sound of it and hit it again and jammed around on a few chords. Annabelle beamed with satisfaction.

"Now I'll run through the song first and you'll see how you'll find it," she said in soothing tones. She strummed her way through the song and, at last the mixed loneliness and desire of the song flowed its way through her system. She felt Simone's attention upon her and knew that this woman who had been way less guarded than she used to be, was weighing matters up for her to sing this song.

"Since we're an item,"Annabelle said thoughtfully as they sat out on the front, in the open air watching the waves break endlessly on the beach, lending a soothing feeling to their every existence. The sun was setting low over the sea and the shadows were starting to lengthen."We really ought to tell each other of any really bad habits so we know to work round each other. I'll go first," she offered much to Simone's relief.

"For a start, PMT doesn't see me at my best. Don't worry, you're not going to get some raving monster, a Ms Hyde coming out of nowhere that's going to fool around with steak knives," Annabelle continued, keeping her irony light and reassuring. "In any case, I get to go back to my normal lovable self. I used to be a lazy slob but not around here. I'm becoming more domesticated than I ever knew I could be. We know why that is."

"Now you're asking me," Simone replied, feeling uncomfortable at delving deep inside herself to put it on public display. As she carried on, the words came easier to say. It was not as if everything in her life was going to be subjected to hostile, critical scrutiny."You know I used to be nervous, uncertain of myself, conforming and secretly hating myself for it but since becoming a lesbian and your lover, I think I've become bolder, less afraid to be myself. I'm a naturally guarded person but I think I got that way to stop being swamped by the Mother Immaculata. I feel I'm in transition and sometimes it makes me nervous but the other part of me is excited by the ride especially with you at my side."

The fair haired woman's soft look made the younger woman feel good inside. Her mind felt wide open and anything that could be said, should be said.

"Say, that reminds me. How did we get here after you'd been busted. I'm curious to find out."

"I feel suddenly cold, Annabelle. Shall we go inside?" came the reply in worryingly formal tones while her lover's shoulders felt as if they were contracting on themselves under her touch. Annabelle was beginning to think that she'd touched her lover on a sensitive spot and she'd soon regret her rash words,.


	12. Chapter 12

As the summer evening drew in, somehow neither woman thought to put the lights on. The sun sank slowly, blood red as it edged down slowly into the ocean, bisected by the line of the limitless ocean. Above it, the blue-green twilight cast its fading illumination over the lands and dark shadows lengthened in the world they shared.

Annabelle bit her lip and swallowed in agitation. She knew that they'd skated around the one unresolved question that lay between them and that was what had happened between when Simone had been arrested and she'd found her lying on the beach. She'd felt guilty as hell that she'd made no effort to reach out to her even though she'd been in the hands of the government investigators who'd spirited her away. Now, she'd blabbed the unmentionable and couldn't back out, if only that no better chance would come up again. What was going to happen now?

"I've been meaning to ask you, Simone," the very self-consciously younger woman asked, stammering slightly and then stopped dead. Simone raised her eyebrows and looked through her spectacles at her. The dark haired woman wished the hell she could read her lover's expression. She was so cool that it was intimidating or was it the facade she reached for when she was insecure?That was it, she concluded, Simone was as scared as hell, as much as she was.

"I mean what happened to you when you were arrested?"

Instinct told the fair haired woman what to do. She got up from the chair she'd been sitting at, went round the corner of the table, moved a chair and sat next to Annabelle, deliberately placing her hand in her own. She could feel the younger woman's nervous tension start to subside and she cut to the chase with conclusion first, story afterwards.

"I know very well why you had to lie low darling. You could have been packed off to military school or the army if you'd made a move. Living without ea\ch other has been very hard for us both but I knew in my heart you'd be there for me when things were ready even in my darkest moments. I had faith, you see."

The younger woman's wound up tension was exhaled in one continuous stream of breath and she went limp, leaning her head on her lover's shoulder. Simone's other arm slid round Annabelle's shoulders

"You can tell me everything if you're able to,"Annabelle said in a curiously adult protective kind of way.

The dark room faded into the background as another form of blackness rose up before Simone's eyes. Her shiver could be felt through Annabelle's skin who clung onto her lover's hand.

"I was driven away in this black military looking car with two men in the front who said nothing in a pointed kind of way. The greenery flashed past my window in a weird psychedelic way until I was taken into this compound which was behind this police station. They slung me into a bare cell as if I was contaminated..."

Annabelle shuddered. She could picture it all so horrifyingly clearly. This was serious shit and way worse than being hauled up before some headteacher and being lectured at for her sins.

"I'm afraid I let you down here," Simone said, clearly embarrassed at her confession. She had fallen painfully short of a Joan of Arc standard and no one was more torn up about it than she. She had been marked by a guilt-ridden form of Christianity, all penance and possible forgiveness for all our sins."I was questioned for hours by these cops who shone hot lights into my eyes. They pored over every detail of my life. I panicked and I denied my love for you, everything we'd meant to each other. I even said that you'd been upset and you came into my bedroom and comforted you. I said that you'd got loaded and emotional so I couldn't disrupt the dorm, that my pupils must have got the wrong idea. I said it with so much conviction that I half-believed my own lies."

The twilight made it hard to read expressions but Simone senses that she could feel a smile of admiration spread across the younger woman's face, someone who could be pretty streetwise. Peter denied thrice that Jesus Christ was the Son of God before his interrogators when he'd been arrested. The words of the Bible came back as a terrifyingly male voice, the carved wooden pulpit leaning crazily over her. She was a miserable sinner, the voice thundered at her in her overheated mind.

"Wow, that's the neatest fast footwork I've ever seen,"Annabelle replied, breaking the spell with her warm, infinitely understanding tones."I couldn't have thought how to explain me in your room, wearing my slip and you, dressed in your jeans and red bra."

Simone both laughed and cried at her friend's gentle kindness. This was the very first time she began to think that she'd done a pretty neat job of talking them both out of trouble. It was the younger woman's turn to slide her comforting arms round her and hold her. The feeling was like heaven.

"So I signed a statement just as I'd said. They didn't believe a word of it as they charged me with the offence of 'corrupting the morals of a minor." Simone almost gagged at the ugly obscenity of the official words but she rushed ahead to carry on with her story." They slung me back in a cell for an hour or so to sweat it out. Finally, I was told that I'd been bailed and I could go. My parents did it, I suppose. They never came to see me or offer me any kind of support. They paid over the money out of guilt..."

Simone pressed her hand to her forehead. She'd never forget or forgive the senseless cruelty of what happened next.

"I came out of the front door, feeling defiled and emotionally beaten up all over. I was blinded by the harsh daylight and couldn't get my bearings. A crowd of reporters started hounding me, getting right in my face. Flashbulbs exploded close up and voices started shouting.'Tell me, did you really screw Senator Tillman's daughter? How do you think Annabelle Tillman's parents think?' over and over again. I kept on saying 'no comment,'

no comment,' 'no comment.' I stumbled through the pack and found myself helpless, in a part of town I didn't know. I felt I'd been raped. So how did I ever get here, I don't know."

Annabelle held her dear lover to her breasts, making gentle shooshing sounds. She wished so much she could take her pain away from her and knew that, even if she couldn't, she must make the attempt. Religion didn't mean that much to her but something within her told her that she must do right. What worried her was the way Simone was struggling to recount her experiences in a consecutive order and she knew more than anyone how structured her lover's thinking was. Annabelle had not imbibed her lover's poetry analysis for nothing and not without drawing conclusions.

"I know what happened. I caught sight of the Mother Immaculata in this crummy sidestreet. It struck me as pretty weird. She gestured angrily to me to come over. I obeyed and looked inside the back seat of the car. It turned out that she'd got all my possessions at the school all packed up and placed there, the rest in the trunk and she said nothing, but drove me here She dropped everything at the roadside, at the top of the steps where you parked the car and shot off. I've never seen nor heard from her since..."

Annabelle read the feelings behind this flat, emotionless final series of statements. It felt exactly the same as when her mother had dropped her off at St Theresa's in the first place. Two of a kind, she thought, powerful women who did good public works but didn't know where to begin emotionally connecting with or dealing with real people.

"I've been here three weeks and, do you know, I've never been on the beach? I went to the top of the steps and bought food at the local store and sat in and stewed without talking to a soul. I went out one morning, feeling drained and empty of emotions with the court case hanging over my head. I've had so many sleepless nights waiting to be dragged into court that when I got a letter that morning saying that no charges would be brought against me that I went out on the beach and fell asleep out of sheer exhaustion. When I saw you leaning over me, I wasn't sure if I was in some kind of dream only to wake up out of it and find myself in the same misery as before."

Simone's voice died away in quiet exhaustion. The sharp eyed woman who held her close knew that her lover had not so much remembered what had happened to her but relived it. She continued stroking her body very gently and lovingly, feeling her presence next to her. The gathering night had almost come and it was dark outside but not in her large heart.

"Could you do me a favour and switch on that sidelight?"murmured Simone sleepily as the feel of her lover's breasts comforted her. "I could do with a little illumination in my life right now."

The younger woman moved quickly to click the light on and it cast a gentle, warm glow on the crevices and corners of their home. It painted warm colours on the fair-haired woman's tanned features. Annabelle could imagine how pale and washed out she had been and how healthy she started to look right now. Annabelle looked on affectionately, noting how the worry lines that had marked her face when she'd been at St Theresa's had been smoothed out. She looked at peace with herself right now. There was one last thing that nagged at the young woman's persistent intelligence. It had to be voiced.

"There's one thing I don't get. You did a great job in getting us out of this hole but how come the Mother Immaculata didn't push it further and testify against us? I bet she suspected what we'd been doing, more than she let on to us..."

Simone laughed cynically. She could see through her saintly aunt right now and had emotionally got right out from underneath her. That pervasive spider's web of guilt had hamstrung her for so long and now she was free. The inscription she'd written in the book she'd once given to Annabelle, the Marcel Proust line of seeing the world with new eyes was never so more meaningful as now, once she'd lived this liberating experience.

"I think I can work that out. Don't you see that the Mother Immaculata is running St Theresa's as a highly lucrative business for well-heeled families to send their troublesome offspring to lick them, to lick us, into shape. If a quote sex scandal unquote had blown up, parents would have pulled their children out of school and she'd got the blame. She's the CEO of her company operating under licence from the Vatican, just as your father is of his firm. All she had to do was to refuse to give evidence and even the Governor of California wouldn't subpoena her to give evidence. She knows too much, you see. Far better for me to be gently eased out as expendable and my career ruined."

Annabelle's mouth opened wide at this sharp woman's insightful observations about her corporate parents. She hadn't really studied all that self-important political shit but it felt right. Simone was certainly bitter and cynical but she had every right to be because of the sweat and effort she'd dedicated to the school and there was certainly a powerful idealist within her. This woman's powerful love for her was evidence of that. It all made sense, every piece clicked into position and she started to feel very guilty about the pressure she's put Simone under. She saw that Simone had foreseen something like this happening to her which was why she'd desperately tried to back off from their blossoming relationship taking off.

"Did you reckon we'd get busted like we did? I got so wrapped up in our love. I figured out that what we were doing was morally right so what's the big deal? I never used you to get good grades. Adolescent, I know."

Simone nodded her head meditatively Certainly, the more immediate and accessible part of her sense of growing nightmare was the very real threat of losing her job. She'd come down off that cross and the crucifixion wounds had mysteriously healed. It was Simone's turn to raise herself up and comfort Annabelle's obvious sense of contrition. She ran her hands lovingly through her lover's long dark hair.

"I never really talked it through to you. It wasn't easy to talk openly. I know now that the fear of being socially disgraced was very powerful, something I couldn't emotionally deal with at the time. It crippled me, made me draw back when I should have been bolder. Now we're here to live our lives with nothing and nobody to stop us," Simone said dreamily before she shook her head as the obvious question popped itself into her mind . The something obviously missing was Annabelle's experiences."But what of you, sweetheart? What happened to you in all that time?"she asked in tones of melting concern.

"Cat snitched on us as you might expect. She was jealous of me and resentful of you for stopping the shit she got up to. The atmosphere changed around as both Kristin and Collins turned against her. It was her turn to be the outcast. I never forgot the look you gave me as you were being taken away by the police. It gave me comfort for all those miserable weeks. I stayed out of trouble as I felt kind of numb inside. There were two weeks left of term left so I worked like a robot. I quit being the smartass in form and I buried myself in my work. I had to find something to hold onto. Finally I let myself be taken home by my parents. I remember looking at your car in the car park as I was being taken away. I stayed out of the way and said nothing, not having the energy to argue. I used to dream of our one night together but that made me feel more sad and alone than ever. I really wanted to phone you up, ask how you were getting on, to give you my love but I dared not in case I got you into more shit than you were already. My heart wanted to do one thing and my head the complete opposite. Finally I started to pull myself together and schemed with Cat's brother to pick up your convertible from St Theresa's. I had to do something to make myself feel better, that and passing my driving test. Finally I overheard some shit from my mother that you weren't going to be charged. I packed my bag, sped off in your convertible, saw a copy of the paper and sped off here and here I am."

Annabelle's incredible torrent of words moved Simone very profoundly. In her clipped fashion, she was understating the incredible love and loyalty she felt for her. She'd go to the wall to do what was right for her and she had that driving force behind her that would move mountains. She took both the other woman's shapely hands and declaimed in fierce intense tones.

"If it were legal to do so, I swear to God that if you felt the same way, I would marry you. I feel that way already. Annabelle, you are my lover, my soul mate and my dearest friend."

"Wow, Simone. You're such an amazing woman. You are everything that I could ever want in my life. I want to be around you so much,"Annabelle said, stumbling for the words to express the depths of her feelings, her eyes wide open and her heart soaring up into the skies.


	13. Chapter 13

The next day, Annabelle was lying sleepily in bed until the sunbeams from the morning light started to ease her senses into consciousness. Her eyelashes fluttered open and a feeling of well-being gradually stole over her. Once again, she loved expected to have the blissful experience of waking to find herself snuggled down with the woman she loved more than anything she could ever desire. It gradually dawned on her that this time, the space which she'd been accustomed to was empty. Halfway between sleep and waking, she was lacking in physical energy and felt passive, frightened with the nightmare feeling that something, somehow had come in and stolen her world from her. Her arm reached around her to reconnect her physically to her lover but in vain. All she could feel was rumpled duvet and sheets.

"Hey Simone," she called out with note in her voice of rising anxiety. Causeless panic had woken her up now and she could see that Simone wasn't there. Why the hell had she got up early?

"I'm here, darling,"called out the clear, much desired voice but there was a slight tremor in her voice

"Thank God you're here. I was starting to worry. Come back into bed with me and keep me warm," the younger woman asked as coaxingly as she could conjure up first thing in the morning.

She heard Simone's light footsteps and a shiver of fear ran through her. She was wearing a loose fitting skimpy dressing gown and clutching a handful of letters in her hand. She exhibited a nervousness that shaped her body language. Something was dreadfully wrong.

"Come here darling. Whatever it is, I want to help you," Annabelle said in her tenderest voice.

To her alarm, Simone didn't get into bed with her and slide into her embrace. as she always did but sat stiffly on the bed, looking away from her, clutching the papers. The younger woman's mind worked a mile a minute thinking of possible reasons why Simone looked so freaked out. Perhaps the cops were having second thoughts about charging her, perhaps it was her parents or the Mother Immaculata or perhaps it was something scary she couldn't deal with.

"It's just bills and bank statements, nothing much,"Simone said in an attempt at a matter of fact voice, belying that by the way she was twisting a lock of her blonde hair between her slim fingers. The younger woman thought twice about laying a hand on her lover, knowing that she'd be rigid to the touch as she was closed off. She had to do the talking. It might as well be her as much as anyone.

"Darling, we need to talk about what we're going to do about money."

Simone's eyes closed painfully on the feelings churning around in her. More than anything else in the world, she didn't want the paradise of the last few days to ever end. It felt that she and Annabelle had been together a lifetime.

"Just how bad is it. I need to know as after all, I'm your lover," the younger woman persisted. That only made Simone feel worse as she knew that Annabelle meant well. That only tortured her inside. She knew the financial details of her life and she felt as if she were in a slow motion car crash, with her strapped into the driver's seat. What could her well meaning lover do, someone who had a large heart but no financial expertise?

"It's not as bad as all that. I'll deal with it,"Simone said in a tone of voice that captured the tensed up teacher who couldn't express her feelings in the younger woman's increasingly troubled mind. In reality, her feelings were so intense, they threatened to strangle her. A fierce tide of anger threatened to rise up inside Annabelle, tempting her to mouth off but she crushed it down. She started to speak in a slow, clear manner, pitching up the volume of her voice.

"Simone, you can't keep shutting me out especially as I have a solution. There is a way out of this hole but it's going to be tricky."

"A solution?"came the gasping reply. For the first time, her eyes opened wide. It was then that Annabelle took the hand of this extremely frightened woman to try and reassure her. The tight squeeze she received was not so much tender affection but a desperate need for assurance. Gently, she used her thumb to softly caress the fair haired woman's frightened sensitivities.

"I made good use of the time I spent at my parents- I won't call it home. My grandpa settled a trust fund on me on my eighteenth birthday which is due in four days time."

"Your eighteenth birthday?"echoed Simone in a wide-eyed way before stumbling for words. She'd quite forgotten how young in years her lover actually was."As young as that, I mean don't get me wrong but you don't seem young."

Annabelle saw that this very endearing woman of hers was in verbal freefall after the shock of reading the letters. This was the highest compliment Simone could pay her but she needed to be let into helping out with practical problems as well and gradually this thought got across to Simone.

"So what's the catch in this plan of yours?"Simone asked softly. This was the moment of truth, the other woman said to herself as slight nervousness spread through her system. A sneaking suspicion niggled at her that in an effort to be wise and worldly, she might be overstepping the mark and they'd fall flat on their faces. Personal embarrassment didn't bother her when compared with the fear of her plan letting them both down.

"We're going to have to visit my parents and get them to agree to make regular payments from the trust fund. They're the trustees of the fund."

A frown of concentration settled over Simone's features and she was silent. This made Annabelle nervous as if an English assignment paper was being scrutinised.

"Can they choose not to pay the money over? I mean, this is all new to me," came the tentative, worried answer.

"Do we have any choices Simone," the younger woman asked with a touch of impatience in her voice.

"No we don't," came Simone's answer, her mouth set in a determined manner."I'll come over with you if it can be fixed. In fact, I want to come over. We need to work out a proper strategy first to make sure it will work."

"How do you mean?" the younger woman asked, a frown wrinkling her face. Her instinct was to keep it spontaneous which is exactly what Simone had guessed.

"Let's look at it in cold blood. Imagine I'm your mother. You told me four days ago that them you're not part of my world and I'm not part of yours and let's quit this mother daughter bullshit. Will she remember that and use it to shoot you down in flames? We're going to be questioned about you living at my place- that's me, Simone Bradley- as they see us. What are you going to say to counter that, that you want to play Happy Families again?"

Annabelle laughed in an embarrassed fashion. This woman of hers had a practical mind that was as sharp as a razor and revealed a fascinating aspect of her that she'd not realised had existed.

"Yeah, that's a good one. First thing you have to understand that all my mother has seen of me is either the deaf mute or the hormonal teenage rebel when we've screamed at each other. I was really cool and dignified the other day which threw her. And, of course, she engineered it with Marilyn's parents to take her off to Europe- that's my first love. After that, I really went mental and the fallout from that got me expelled, the last time."

"You've not answered my question, Annabelle Tillman," Simone persisted, a mischievous smile on her face.

"Just who the hell are you, my mother or Simone Bradley?" countered the younger woman with mock annoyance. This identity shift felt weird to her.

"You tell me," came the self-assured answer.

"Mother," declaimed Annabelle looking in the direction of the wall, getting into the role play."I've been looked after by this kind teacher, the one you hauled away to be interrogated and who the police has agreed is not guilty of any sexual whatever. She's been looking after me and, as you can see, I'm nicely sun tanned and living healthily..."

Simone collapsed backwards on the bed with a helpless attack of the giggles when Annabelle stood up and exhibited her nude form for all to see in proud statuesque form. The prim look she returned was trying to say, look how suntanned and healthy I look.

"I'm happy where I am, living quietly out of sight, away from the press and I want to get on with my life. Let's face it, neither of us will be happy if I come back home and where else could I go who would put up with me? This way, I'll be quiet and out of your hair,"

As the dark-haired woman came to the end of her declamation, Simone broke into spontaneous clapping which caused Annabelle to blush with pleasure. She knew that Simone loved her very deeply but her respect met very deep needs in her psyche to be accepted for who she was. Living with Simone was turning out to be an impromptu therapy course in gently healing her wounds, something that her tough self-defensiveness had refused to allow had ever existed.

"You think it will work, Simone?" that very appealing, almost child-like voice called out, seeking her approval.

"We'll do it. We just have to succeed, " came the determined reply.

"That's good because having you with me will make me feel kind of safer...By the way, just what sort of bad news came through the post? That way, I'll know what we're fighting for."

"It's not as bad as I feared. I've got a little saved by and my last cheque from St Theresa's will see us through for a few weeks. I freaked out as I realised that there aren't any more cheques to come. I felt financially abandoned. You do understand?"

"Of course I do," the younger woman said warmly as she ran her hand round that lithe, slim body she loved the feel of so much. She pressed Simone close to her with pure affection feeling the tension leaving her body. She was so much head over heels in love with this sensitive, loving woman. Tears of joy trickled down the cheeks of the fair haired woman as she blessed the way that this very perceptive attentive woman of hers had calmed her fears. It felt so natural to wrap their arms round each other and feel the warmth of their bodies against each other for a long time.

"This is the tricky part," Annabelle said a little while later when they'd got dressed and ready to face the day. A little nervous smile showed that, when it came to phoning her mother, she needed a lot of reassuring for all her brave talk earlier on."I really don't like having to bullshit my mother and be nice to her," she explained, her face twisting at her last word but two. It brought back too many occasions when the pretty little girl, wearing her best frock had been told to be nice for too many grown-ups whose distant manner, impossible size and way too much self importance had made a disagreeable impression on her at the time. As she got older, she cynically concluded that such people were rising industrialists or government officials her parents wanted to impress using her as proxy pawn in their game.

"I know how you feel darling. I've been there," Simone's soft, sympathetic voice answered her and tended her wounds. Annabelle squeezed the hand of this infinitely understanding friend and soul mate of hers. It gave her the strength to go on.

"I'll keep quiet while you talk. Do you want me to be here or someplace else? It's up to you,"she suggested to the nervous woman.

"Stay here and hold my hand,"Annabelle instantly decided. She knew that Simone had the self-restraint to be quiet."I want to get dressed first. I'd feel safer that way."

The fair-haired woman nodded and she slipped on a pair of black trousers and a white shirt while Annabelle selected a radiant white dress of hers she'd not put on before. She vigorously brushed her hair many times and led the way to the balcony. Simone knew that the younger woman knew what she was doing in selecting the most relaxing context imaginable. While her freefloating sympathies were focussed on her lover's plight, it pulled a thought from the back of her head.

"Wait a moment, Annabelle. Have your parents tried to contact you on your mobile since you left their place? Do they know where you are? It might make a difference as to how they'll react."

Annabelle's mouth hung open in wonder. This woman of hers was a fucking genius.

"How come you thought of that? That's real parent type thinking."

"Put that down to years of talking to parents at graduation and listening to their concerns," smiled Simone.

Annabelle rapidly checked her mobile for messages. It had been switched off ever since she'd arrived so she might have been oblivious to parental anxiety. A hard smile of satisfaction noted that there wasn't a whisper of a message. It gave her an idea on how to read her parent's thinking before she phoned.

"I think I might have told them where I am but I'm not sure. She'll be smart enough to work it out anyway."

She took Simone by the hand and held on tight while she dialled the unfamiliar numbers, her breath coming in and out in short bursts. The whirling thoughts that had been churning around finally took shape and she became ice-calm and alert. It's now or never, she thought. For once in her life she wanted her mother to be available and not tied up in some bullshit meeting. Simone's ears were glued to the lump of black plastic.

"Hi, it's Annabelle, your daughter," she said in calm enough tones."I want to come over and sort out a few things about what's happening from here on in...yes, I'm stopping at Miss Bradley's house who's been looking after me...I know you're busy but I need to so when you can be around...it might be a good idea for Miss Bradley to come with me as she's a calming influence on me ...right, tomorrow afternoon at two thirty, we'll be there on time...I'm telling you I'm not interested in a screaming match, just that you live your lives, you and dad and I certainly don't ever want to be on the front page of the Los Angeles Tribune...OK, see you then," .

Immediately after Annabelle's calm measured mature voice came to a close, she blew out her cheeks to exhale all her pent up nervous tension and flung her arms round the very attentive woman whose nerves had been wire taut. She kissed Simone several times on her neck and nuzzled up against her. She couldn't believe her luck, especially in asking her lover to come along. Just because no charges had been pressed against her for bullshit stuff about her age didn't mean they'd be in a welcoming mood.


	14. Chapter 14

"You know what? After all that nervous strain, guess what I really really want to buy?" Annabelle said, an impish smile on her face and kissing the tip of her lover's nose, her arms wound round her neck.

"What do you really want," laughed Simone, the lightness of mood flooding the balcony.

"A hot dog from that stall, no make it two hot dogs," bantered Annabelle.

"Then make that four between us," joked Simone, planting a long, soft kiss on her lover's soft irresistible lips.

In no time at all, they were kicking up sand on the beach with their sneakers and clinging to each others arms like excited schoolkids, laughing and chattering. Life's possibilities had opened up and brilliant daylight cast on the fears that had haunted the dark backyards of Simone's mind. Today's experiences had brought them even closer together in delicately illustrating what each of them could do for the other.

"Together, we are unbeatable," sang out Simone excitedly into the gentle air."We can do anything we want."

"'We'" breathed Annabelle dreamily as the sunlight dazzled her eyes and her hair flicked into her face."I sure love the sound of that word. So simple."

They slowed down, strolling lazily along the beach towards the steps off the beach and trotted up to the top, feeling perky and positive. They suddenly realised that they'd be facing Mr Middle America again but this was no big deal. They had the money and the will to succeed.

"Not you two goddamn lesbians again," he growled. He hadn't forgotten the way they'd taken the rise out of him a few days ago.

"Lesbians certainly but customers also," Simone retorted perkily."Our money is as as good as anyone else's." This snappy reply drew a grin of appreciation from the dark haired woman.

"It looks like we're near neighbours so you'll be seeing quite a bit of us," sang out Annabelle in her cool, most misleadingly innocent tones."The more some jerk says I can't do something, I want to do it all the more so make it four regular hot dogs with French mustard, two cans of coke and make it snappy."

Grumbling and grousing under his breath, the man dished the food and let the two women carry on their way. He had a business to run and, besides these two smartass women could run rings round him.

This was heaven to Simone. A delicious feeling spread through her senses of somehow returning to her teenage years. They strolled along the wide sidewalk, scoffing cheap food and feeling good about themselves. Simone casually pulled the ring off the top of the can and took a big swig out of bravado. Somehow the bubbles coursed up her nose and her little gesture rebounded back on her. Annabelle saw this and hastily took her half-eaten hot dog off her lover. She looked on tenderly and a warm smile illuminated her face. Simone was such a babe.

They wended their way lazily back to the beach hut and the younger woman's hand slid along the rail that bordered the decking. The feel of the wood was now a familiar , reassuring sensation which said to her senses, 'this is home.' It was a small, unpretentious abode but passing along this way made her feel secure and anchored, especially as the presence of her lover made her feel relaxed and wanted, that she had some purpose in the world. In some long ago existence, her nerve ends had stood out like stalks whenever the imposing front door of her parents had shut noiselessly behind her as if it were some kind of prison. A twinge of nervousness crept through her system that she was going to revisit that source of her psychic solitude. She was seriously banking on Simone's presence to keep the worst of these bad vibrations at bay. Annabelle reached for Simone's spare front door key that had been given her and slid the glass door aside. She gave out a sigh of satisfaction. Everything was there as it should be, she thought, with joint proprietorial interest in their home.

"Want a mug of coffee? It's not yet tea time,"she asked lightly, exchanging smiles at their shared joke.

"I'd love one. I'm really thirsty," came the grateful answer.

The younger woman paced lightly into their kitchen, laying her hands on the coffee jar, the sugar, the milk in the fridge and two mugs with practiced ease, everything feeling comfortable around her. Soon, she returned with two steaming hot mugs of coffee out onto the settee on the decking where Simone was waiting.

.

"I love this home," Annabelle said with sudden passion, her emotions flying free."I've never had a real home before in my life. My parent's mansion felt so cold, so empty. I know I sound like poor little rich kid," the younger woman suddenly added defensively , feeling suddenly awkward."

"I'd never think that way, Annabelle. You know it," Simone quickly interjected, laying her hand on her forearm. The younger woman's quick smile through a few tears was like sudden sunlight on a cloudy mountain lake.

"This home is beautiful, everything I could ever want in my life- and so are you, Simone. I've seen so many different sides of you since I've been here and I love them all."

"You brought me back to life darling," Simone said softly and simply. It said everything in her heart. They curled up together, slowly sipping coffee on a warm and sunny day.

"I know," Annabelle said enthusiastically right out of the blue, cueing Simone into another bright idea in the offing."Why don't you try that last song you learnt only I'll play guitar around you. I know it'll work"

The fair-haired woman brightened considerably at this implied compliment and they sat inside on the larger living room sofa which offered more space. Simone's newly polished guitar face faced Annabelle's green patterned instrument, the fair-haired woman feeling slightly nervous. She knew she'd come a long way very quickly but also knew what a proficient musician her lover was.

"It works like this Simone. You play and sing like you have been doing and on the second or third bar, I'll start playing finger picking style and play melodies round your rhythm."

"Ummn, I hope I'll be OK,"Simone replied nervously. She was worrying that anything that distracted her from the straight and narrow path might make her mess up.

"Don't let it throw you, just concentrate on doing your thing. OK," Annabelle answered in easy relaxing tones,"You've got a natural feel for music. You'll be fine. Trust me."

Simone placed her fingers on the fretboard and began to sing and play her song, making herself comfortable when, all at once, she heard a tracery of single notes plucked effortlessly out of the air around the strummed melody that she was playing. For a second, she was tempted to stop and admire her lover's artistry. Annabelle read the thought and mouthed encouragement to Simone keep playing and singing. For the first time, the fair haired woman could hear how music could be built up on and enhanced.

She was entranced to hear an artful sprinkling of notes, take shape and form and then wheel, dip and slide round the chords that she struck and the sweet aching sounds framed by her voice and her mind. She could hear the ensemble music they were making that she was also a part of. As they carried on, she shifted away from merely plugging away regardless, sticking rigidly to her chord arrangement and ended up moulding it with Annabelle's complementary music. To her soaring senses, it felt as if they were making love together especially as she felt Annabelle's sunshine smile as she picked away on her guitar. Right at the start of the final chorus, Simone was entranced to hear her lover's lower pitched voice slide in and underpin her singing perfectly. Together, they rode this song home and her last strummed chord matched perfectly the last couple of single notes, plucked off the magical green guitar while their soft voices tailed away into the peace and tranquillity of their home.

"Hey, that was a fabulous experience," Simone breathed. The younger woman was overcome with emotion to feel the way that her vision of how the two of them could play music together had come true. One lurking reservation broke surface and in their heightened emotional state, demanded to be given voice.

"You didn't mind me joining in with the singing? I felt so good as we played together that I couldn't resist it. I was going to teach you how harmony singing works and I thought I'd just do it."

Annabelle looked so sweetly apologetic that Simone laid aside her guitar, tenderly embraced her lover and gave her a loving kiss. She sensed how much this dark-haired woman had put so much care into enabling her latent talents to flourish. .

"Oops, "she laughingly exclaimed as she realised that her display of physical affection was in danger of damaging either her lover or that intriguingly patterned guitar or both.

"You don't have to worry sweetheart. I felt protected by you while you were playing and your singing felt so right."

Annabelle looked around her in a dazed fashion. She'd started this thing of teaching her lover what she knew as a generous gesture and somehow, she'd tapped into knowledge she didn't know that she'd retained. She'd expected that it would take Simone time to gradually pick up on chords and rhythms not to say going through the pain barrier of the skin on her fingertips gradually hardening over time. Instead, she'd moved ahead with uncanny speed while her singing voice was a joy to listen to and to weave her voice around.

"We've come a long way so fast. I never expected this to happen," she said in a quiet voice, almost detached from herself as if some other being was commenting on herself.

"I'm happy to push right on to wherever we're going," Simone said brightly."In the meantime, we need something to eat and drink."

This drew an instant grin of appreciation and both women busied themselves in the kitchen getting dinner ready. The more the days went past in slow motion pleasure, the more they became accustomed to each other's little ways. It seemed no surprise that Annabelle placed in Simone's hand the spatula she was thinking of using to help cook the meal and that Simone passed two plates that Annabelle was perfectly ready for to set their evening meal. Nor, when they'd eaten their dinner and felt deliciously full, they lay together on the settee, feeling wonderfully content

It was nighttime when they went to bed that the thought they'd been relentlessly suppressing all day finally broke surface.

"You know we're seeing your parents tomorrow. It won't be easy," Simone said gently as she slipped off her lover's top. This was the thought that both of them had done their best in suppressing in all the time they'd been relentlessly playing music, acting like teenagers in buying coke and hot dogs. As this day finally crept its way towards its end and the day of reckoning was at hand, it was only natural that they'd be scared. What if they failed to get a single dollar bill out of this trust? Neither woman dared contemplate such a situation.

"I want you to hold me darling," Annabelle said with a tremor of fear in her voice as she unclipped her lover's bra."I want to be made to feel secure."

The older woman knew very well just why Annabelle should feel this way though she had her doubts as to what comfort she could possibly offer. They slipped under the duvet and their bodies became interlocked, each smoothing the other's soft skin and long hair. Together, they'd somehow get through the night, they reasoned.


	15. Chapter 15

This night had a strange feeling to both women. Even since Annabelle had moved in, they had slipped effortlessly into a profound sleep, only waking up by degrees when the sunlight's persistence in shining into the two women's eyes finally succeeded in waking them from their slumbers. During the daytime, their moods had zigzagged back and forth between all ends of the emotional spectrum, being playful,serious, tender, passionate and whatever else came into their minds. At night-time, when they'd discarded their day clothes and their nakedness pressed up against each other, their lovemaking meshed with the moods they felt until they'd finally slipped into a peaceful sleep, their bodies wrapped around each other.

True darkness of spirit is the three in the morning blues. Both women had far too much nervous energy pulsing through their veins. They each thought the other was fast asleep and didn't want to disturb until Simone felt the way those shapely fingertips traced a deliberate pattern down her forearm.

"What's up, darling? Can't you sleep either," murmured Simone in the general direction of the darkness.

"Talking to my parents and trying to get that trust money out of them is really freaking me out," said Annabelle into her lover's shoulder who gave her a reassuring squeeze."It's just hitting me right now."

"Sweetheart, don't worry," Simone said in her tenderest tone of voice, gently stroking the other woman's face and hair."Together, we'll deal with it somehow. You might stumble and I'd pick you up. I might lose my footing and you'd pick me up. That's how it goes between us."

The dark-haired woman thought about her lover's sensitive insight into them. It was true. She'd been thinking in terms of herself only, the way she used to live.

"Sweet of you to say it," murmured Annabelle tenderly into the dark, moving around so she could feel her lover's breasts against her own."You're really sure it's not to late to make love?"

"Perfectly sure," laughed Simone light-heartedly, cheered up as, after all, Annabelle's feelings were her own Somehow this darling woman was also off on another tangent.."You know what we're like. We're greedy. It was you who introduced me to the concept of multiple orgasms after all."

Annabelle laughed softly at her lover's literary way of phrasing their sexuality.

"You mean we'll settle down quicker like this?"Annabelle added teasingly, her body flexing that tiniest little bit against her lover's curves. She felt how hard her nipples felt against her lover's and was sure that Simone's misconceived resolution was weakening.

"All right, I give up," Simone exclaimed with mock annoyance, sliding her leg greedily down her lover's thigh and roughly kissing Annabelle. Her insides were crying out for her lover's nimble fingers to stroke her just the way she liked it so when her very frustrated lover pushed her on her back and started kissing and caressing her, she'd forgotten how sombre and reflective she'd felt only a moment before.

Later than their normal time for waking, a very bleary eyed Simone staggered to the kitchen to fetch them a cup of hot pick me up medicine with plenty of sugar in it. She slopped some hot water on the work surface and spilt a powdering of sugar but she didn't care. Her bare feet took their way past the letter receptacle and a stray impulse prompted to see if anything was there beyond bills and junk mail. To her surprise, she spied a letter addressed to 'Miss Annabelle Tillman' that had been obviously readdressed here struck her eye. What's more, the writing looked startlingly familiar.

"Hey, sweetheart, a letter for you," she called out in clear tones, edged with excitement. Already, she was putting two and two together.

The younger woman was lying on her side, barely being able to separate her eyelids. She really reacted badly to a bad night's sleep

"You open it Simone, whatever it is. You tell me what it is,"she mumbled sleepily.

The fair haired woman laid down her mugs and, with a shaking hand, ripped open the envelope. The covering letter on headed notepaper with a stylised illustration of St Theresa's front facade enclosed a graduation notice. She shouted out with pleasure as she took in the grades.

"Annabelle darling, it's your graduation results. You've done brilliantly."

The jolt to Annabelle's existence separated her eyelids like lightning. She threw aside the duvet cover, reached for the coffee mug on the bedside table, took a swig from it and switched her glance back and forth between her naked lover to the formal sheet of paper before her eyes.

C Science

C- Mathematics

A English

B- Social sciences

B- French

C+ Performing Arts

"Wow. I mean wow. After being expelled from two schools, I end up graduating so my Alma Mater will end up actually being proud of me, thanks of course to my brilliant teacher who is here even as I speak,"Annabelle spoke in her deliciously ironic manner, casting a glance at her one time teacher's gorgeously physical charms.

Simone broke out into peals of excited laughter and threw herself on top of Annabelle, feeling ecstatically pleased for them both. She reached underneath the younger woman and hugged her to her bosom. Presently, they lay back, feeling sleepy still but happy beyond belief.

"I'm so pleased for you, darling. I couldn't believe it when I saw the grades," Simone said , thrilled beyond all reason at this news which couldn't be better times to raise their spirits. In her mind, she blessed the justice that had so rewarded her darling..

Annabelle threw her lover a curious look at the conundrum that her lover unfolded before her. She did her best to be polite. "Hey Simone, didn't you help out with some of that grading? I owe you so much for everything."

All at once, the one-time teacher put her forefinger to her lips in an appealingly childlike fashion. Of course, she remembered how the sympathetic honest teacher, once known as Miss Bradley had spent conscientious hours assessing the coursework placed in front of them and filling in reports and Ms Tillman's handiwork had been streets ahead of her peers in her sensitive understanding of the structure and stylistic construction of the poetry and English assignments she gave her. That restless, insatiably curious intelligence made connections that her peers didn't get and her retentive memory added a solid bedrock of knowledge that bolstered her flights of inspiration. She remembered how she had got to love the texture of the French language, her ears pricking up at her own aside that French is the natural language of love. She'd swiftly decided that Annabelle's ready knowledge of social science owed nothing to her politician mother whose estrangement she'd swiftly known about. It was all part of that intuitive streak in Annabelle that caused her to relentlessly seek the truth around her, along with Simone's own guarded nature. Sister Clair had taken Annabelle for Mathematics and Science so Simone's capacious memory found nothing in its furthest reaches that she could relate to. She had supposed that the side effect of Annabelle's blossoming interest in her meant that she wouldn't have given Sister Claire too hard a time, especially as unnaccountably, she'd somehow wheedled the rather straight and severe woman into supplying her with cigarettes. The kind and understanding woman who'd taught Annabelle Tillman all that last year felt a long way away from the passionate creature who'd been liberated from her constraints and whose hand gently stroked her lover's stomach. Her gorgeous lover had said something about their shared past. What was it that she'd just said, she asked herself as her eyes misted over. Oh yes, now she knew.

"I suppose I did darling," Simone eventually replied in an abstracted fashion, making Annabelle smile so tenderheartedly at her. This woman of hers was such a babe.

"Only C+ for performing arts?" Simone asked in true innocence.

"Yeah well, I wrote a load of songs about you like that song I sung at the party. They were all about unrequited love as I thought it and I made them pretty gender specific. No one could imagine they were about some guy. I ought to look them out some time and rewrite them as requited lesbian love songs," Annabelle concluded, throwing Simone a dazzling smile. The fair haired woman leaned her head against her lover and gently snuggled up against her. Five minutes later, after having feasted their senses by embracing each other, feeling cheered up, a sudden thought crossed the younger woman's mind.

"Hey, what about the coffee?"

Simone's expression of sweet embarrassment at her memory lapse was classic. Tenderly, she sat up and passed over her coffee mug and sat up in bed to drink from her own mug. It tasted lukewarm but still drinkable.

"Hey, it's no big deal waiting for it to cool. Try it."

Simone did as she suggested and was surprised to find that, having pushed away her ingrained sensibilities, it was drinkable. She reasoned that it didn't have to be drunk at lethally scalding temperatures so she ended up drinking it all down in one gulp. Instantly, her planning, organising, questioning mind kicked into gear. First of all, she picked up the envelope and examined it closely.

"Annabelle, what's this other address this letter was sent to?"

"My parents," exclaimed Annabelle, anger swelling inside her as she started to work things out a mile a minute."So how the fuck did they know to send this here?"

"That's easy, Annabelle. One quick phone call to the Mother Immaculata and she checks out the archives. That'll be somewhere on my file. I'm surprised she hasn't burnt it as she can't burn me like a witch at the stake. What's puzzling me is why didn't your parents open the letter first and why didn't they phone you? After all, they ought to be proud of you for your academic success?"

That brought up Annabelle short. Her face was as still as a statue. This very perceptive woman had called into question everything she had thought about her parents and how they saw her. Her left hand reached out for Simone's slim hand to clasp who, in turn, did her the infinite favour in keeping quiet while she thought. Her past came back to her as she pictured this restless, inquisitive child, dressed in frilly dresses, playing alone with her toys, her hair brushed to perfection. She was in the care of a succession of child minders while her mother was always distantly placed in the room, her attention being forever elsewhere. Her father would come round, buy her a candy bar and be off elsewhere.

"You're asking me a good question, Simone. I know I've been a bull-headed teenager, unwilling to compromise and I know my attitude to school drove them mad but was I always like that? Didn't I do anything to make them think that I could make them proud or were they so self-absorbed that they really couldn't see me as I am? I wore those cute dresses when I was little but I always wanted to know the answer to everything. My mother told me in her cold tone of voice that the first word I ever learnt was 'why' as if I had some kind of contagious disease."

"That's so beautiful, Annabelle. I could so easily imagine it," Simone said in melting tones. Annabelle grinned and squeezed her lover's hand affectionately. It spurred her on so her words poured out in a rush of charged emotion.

"I'd say things that were obvious but they really shocked my parents. My old teachers were all the same. When you came along and, yes I was blatantly flirting with you, you immediately got what I said. You didn't try to shoot me down like all the others did. I felt we really connected, first time I ever spoke up in class."

"When you asked me if I'd take off the cross if the Mother Immaculata told me to,I went to a desk drawer and dug out this photograph album of Amanda and I. That's when I started to seriously think about you. This is all really important as you need to dig down and figure out how come your parents take any interest in your exam results."

"I think I've got it figured now," Annabelle said, having taken a deep breath and admiring the way her lover pursued this tangent so persistently. At that moment, a bright shaft of sunlight poured into the room, illuminating them as they sat up in bed, part covered by the duvet and perfectly relaxed in their nakedness. This scene of beauty meshed in with the way this compassionate woman knew what she was doing and she loved Simone for it."Either they think I flunked all the exams and don't want to see what they perceive is the truth. Alternatively, if the Mother Immaculata has told them the truth, they're throwing the rattle out of the pram as I've succeeded on my terms. That really would burn them up. Another possibility is they just don't care and yet another is that I've moved on and away from my parents in my time at St Theresa's. I felt happy I'd spent the spring holiday over here as I'd disengaged from my parents from what little there ever was between us."

"There's another thing, darling. We can explore these interesting possibilities when we see them this afternoon to get them to honour your grandparent's trust. We also need to talk with them about your graduation. Everything puts us in a much stronger position," put in Simone quietly with an audible smile of satisfaction in her voice.

Annabelle's mouth dropped open. This woman was so smart she couldn't believe it and loved the way she kept talking about us. She knew that Simone would be here for them both.

"You are a genius and I love you for it," Annabelle exclaimed, the glow of love in her eyes."I have got to be there and you have to be there with me. We've both fucking worked for it. As for my parents, well they'll have to do their thing if they're even bothered to turn up at all."

To the younger woman's delighted surprise, Simone nodded her head slowly and decisively. It told Annabelle that her true ally had carefully weighed everything up and in her quiet way, would match her determination. Annabelle breathed in and out with relief spreading through her system and her angry expression gave way to a brilliant smile.

"Look, I know we've got to get ready and all that shit but do we really have to get out of bed right now?"

How can I resist the way this adorable woman shifts around in such an appealing way. She felt really tired as their bad night sleep was catching up with her and she was sure that her lover felt the same way. She looked at the alarm clock on the side she used to have in her bedroom at St Theresa's and reckoned they could make time. She took Annabelle in her arms and kissed her deeply and warmly, feeling her lover curl around her and gently stroke her fair curly locks at the back of her head.


	16. Chapter 16

"How do I look?"Annabelle asked her lover anxiously. For all her confident talk earlier on, she couldn't help but let her feelings show. She'd decided against letting Simone know just how she felt about the house she'd grown up in during her teens after leaving Arkansas behind together with her close childhood Pamela Courson. A faint trace of rage pulsed through her which she tried to ignore. Now wasn't the time to bring up old scores even if the wounds weren't properly healed.

"You look absolutely amazing. You look as if you'd spent two weeks in a health spa," Simone honestly confessed with her natural enthusiasm. It was curious but she'd never had the chance to examine her lover in this way. Days on the beach had given her a golden tone to her skin and the dyed streaks in her hair had mellowed out to leave her brown hair naturally glossy with blondish tints. Her eyes looked clear and fresh and she had a natural inner glow that exuded from her being. Her simple short white dress with the v-neck front and her slip on sandals showed her devastatingly simple beauty to the best advantage. All she needed was a touch of make up and lipstick to finish off."What do you think I should wear? You're the expert."

"My choice is that white lace dress you wore at the party. It looks classy and, besides, it's a favourite of mine."

"Meaning that you ripped it off my back so you could indulge me in my first real lesbian love-making,"riposted Simone with a twinkle in her eye. "In case you wondered, darling I loved Amanda to distraction but never went 'all the way' with her. I was the strong one in the relationship but not that strong."

"Hey cool. That makes me feel really good that you trusted to me that night. I guess you've had boyfriends though like that guy at the party...," Annabelle replied, her face lighting up before a stray memory of the party caused her face to cloud over. Her astute minded lover read the younger woman's thoughts and rapidly stepped in.

"They don't count. They really, really don't count. Amanda is the only one even halfway matching up to you. Trust me."

"In that case, honey,you simply must wear that white dress. It looks misleadingly innocent," Annabelle replied, a big beaming smile illuminating her face. The earnest way that Simone spoke convinced her utterly. Both women now knew very well that there was absolutely no need to talk about Michael, the teacher at St Paul's Catholic School whom Simone had been dating before the end of year party.

Simone laughed softly at her lover's lightning quick shift in perceptions before another concern struck her.

"What about my hair? I have real trouble with the way it curls. Perhaps I ought to put it up?"

"Definitely not," pronounced Annabelle emphatically."I really love the way your hair falls round your face. You only put it up when you're feeling insecure and want to be in charge like when you're teaching. You sit down and I'll fix it for you."

Simone submitted to Annabelle's perceptive insight and the way she lovingly ministered to her hair. It made her feel comforted and secure. Finally, they were as ready as they ever would be.

They skipped their way up the flight of steps to that they saw as their car. There it stood, gleaming and polished in the sunshine and the younger woman gestured to Simone to take the wheel and passed over the car keys. Pretty soon, they were speeding southwards along the beauties of the coast road until there came the turnoff to the left down the tree shaded minor roads.

As they were going along, Annabelle had an uneasy feeling stealing over her. As she thought about it, it was as if she was living her life on wide screen and her most heartfelt love had propelled her along this road until she'd picked up the newspaper which told her, joy of joys, that her darling lover had been freed. Now she was reversing this route, she had this horrible feeling that this film was being inexorably reversed. Could it be that this had happened less than a week ago? An overwhelming sense of panic suddenly swelled up inside her, making her feel sick and faint.

"Stop the car Simone."

Immediately, the alert woman slammed on the brakes and brought the car to a halt in the middle of the beautiful rural scenery. To Simone's alarm, her lover's face was white and clammy and she was taking short, jerky breaths of air. She resisted the temptation to hug her lover and opted to put her arm round her lover's shoulders and clasp her hand with her free hand. She knew exactly what the matter was.

"Just take it easy, darling. We're stopping right here. I'll look after you for always," she said in the most soothing tone of voice she could summon up.

Her actions had its effect. Annabelle lay back in her car seat, looking up at the overhead trees and feeling her lover's warmth and comfort. As her breathing started to return to normal, she unclipped her seat belt and moved into Simone's waiting arms. She clung on tight, both oblivious of the car behind as it zoomed past them, the driver tut tutting about the two crazy women blocking the road.

"Don't get me wrong but I had this crazy idea I was being taken back to my parents. I really freaked out. I'm not some neurotic," Annabelle said shakily into her lover's ear. Simone could still feel the tremors running through the younger woman's body. She resolved that if they were a little late, that wasn't a big deal. Annabelle's emotions

were the most precious thing on earth.

"Honey, I know you're not. Wild horses could drag you away from me," Simone murmured, running her hands through her lover's long sleek hair. The suspension of time , Simone's calming nature and her emotional and physical reassurance finally had its effect.

"I look terrible. Just give me time to fix my makeup and I'll be ready," the younger woman said in a more confident tone of voice as she kissed Simone on her cheek. She became conscious of a gentle breeze and the beauties of the countryside. She reached for her makeup bag and leisurely attended to herself. She blessed the fact that not one hint of the need to hurry up emanated from this very kind-hearted understanding woman.

Simone started the engine and drove them gently down the road. Annabelle gave regular and precise directions as her way of centring herself. It started to dawn on her

that her lover's panic attack was well-founded. She wasn't sure what she was letting herself in for and suspected that Annabelle had been being very nicely solicitous in withholding the worst when they talked matters over earlier on. Finally, she caught sight of a long grey wall and a set of wrought iron gates which a nudge from Annabelle announced that they'd arrived at their destination.

"We'll stop outside and walk in through the gates so to get the feel of the place," Simone said in a deliberately casual manner, keeping half an eye on her lover."Just remember, I'm new to this situation so give me a little time to tune in. Don't forget," added Simone very quickly, sensing the momentary panic stricken look on Annabelle's face and squeezing her lover's hand," if you stumble, I'll pick you up. If I stumble, you'll pick you up. Ready?"

"I'm ready. I'll phone my mother to say we're here so she'll open the gates," Annabelle replied, her voice gaining confidence with something to do. Sure enough, the faintest sounds announced that the gates were folding in on themselves and Simone took in the palatial country house for the first time. Her jaw hung open. Her own parent's house was large enough and built in the traditional white clapboard Americana style but this was one huge step towards unbridled luxury. An immaculately pebbled drive was flanked by a wooden garden seat on either side, a geometrically precisely cut privet bush leading off to the left . A fir tree on the right and a wide, low brick built mansion with a Roman porch in the front, small gabled windows in the roof and two symmetrically placed brick chimney stacks and either side, a wing of similar design. Simone sensed the existence of rolling gardens behind the mansion and on either side extending back miles. This mansion felt like a different world, splendidly detached from anything outside the wrought iron door. Simone sensed that it greedily and seductively swallowed up everything that came within its reach and mocked the possibility of mild criticism of its pretensions. Despite the obvious beauty, it made her shiver inside, especially as the wrought iron doors swung silently back and clicked shut behind them.

"It's a house, not a home like our place is. Don't let it throw you, Simone. We'll get out when we want,"Annabelle's quiet voice sounded next to her ear as they walked slowly up the drive.

Simone smiled briefly at her partner's sensitivity and her first thought was to admire Annabelle in escaping this wall to wall security in cadging a lift off Cat Pegrum's brother so she could retrieve her car from St Theresa's. The two women took heart and aimed for the front door, looking neither to the left nor the right of the. Suddenly, a thought crossed Annabelle's mind. She hadn't got a front door key or even if she possessed one as she'd left her holdall behind. Simone spotted the solid wrought iron knocker on the brown front door, the porch hanging high over their heads and gave it a smart tat tat tat. A few minutes later, it swung noiselessly open and a Negro maid silently greeted them, pointing the way to the right.

Instantly, the two women were swallowed up by this museum atmosphere of total stillness which seemed to suck at their souls. Annabelle immediately felt tense but, seeing her lover start to fiddle at her neck where her crucifix used to hang, squeezed her lover's hand quickly.

"I think I know where we'll be going," Annabelle said quietly." Follow me."

Simone's heels clicked on the tiled floor while Annabelle's sandals paced lightly over them. Passing through the accumulated wealth of decades, they found themselves in this vast room where everything had to be most severely in its place. The sheer homeliness of their small beach house would have fitted inside any two of this large mansion. They sat down in a constrained manner on a small two-seater settee and waited for the silently pacing maid to bring Annabelle's parents. Finally, a middle sized woman with immaculately tendered blond bob, wearing an elegant blue trouser suit and high heels came in out of some dim corridor and took her place. Immediately, Simone became hyper conscious of the woman's intimidating coldness of manner.

"Your father sends his apologies, Annabelle,"Senator Tillman said in distant tones, scarcely acknowledging Simone's presence."He has a most important meeting with the board of directors but he has given me instructions on how to handle the matters before us. I think I can safely speak for him. "

Jesus, Simone thought, at her coldest, the Mother Immaculata radiated heat like the sun by contrast as Annabelle mouthed a meaningless greeting, the tremor of her hand indicating a suppressed emotion. She immediately decided that emotional appeals to this woman's better nature would be wasted as there wasn't such a better side to her. Only after a little while, she turned her condescending attention to Simone.

"I'd heard quite a bit about you, Ms Bradley. My position gives me access to a lot of information. Don't you think it's unusual, possibly ill-advised for you, a mature early thirties woman to associate with an eighteen year girl who's barely more than a child?" Mrs Tillman said in her coldest, most severe tones.

Simone's sidelong glance at Annabelle took in at once how this malicious criticism got to her lover and she disregarded her earlier promise to gradually tune into the situation. She

took fire at once and launched into a counter-strike against this cold fish.

"Your remark betrays your total ignorance of your daughter. For your information, Annabelle is a mature woman whose understanding, intelligence and maturity is way ahead of her years. In terms of real emotional age, we come out level pegging. I'm really sorry for you that you have as little understanding after all the years she's been under your roof."

"You've obviously seen her on her best behaviour," Mrs Tillman replied not emotionally moved in the slightest."I'm sure the novelty and romantic gloss will wear off over time. I've seen the troublesome side of Annabelle Tillman, believe me."

"Maybe Simone and I get on and you and I don't. You'd better realise that we've had a year to get to know each other pretty good. Since I've stopped at her place, a lot can happen in a week," put in Annabelle.

"Haven't you even seen how well she's looking?"Simone asked incredulously."Plenty of sun, sea and...sand and making music."

Mrs Tillman blinked first at the her daughter replied in precise measured tones and spring heeled logic. Annabelle had kept a very low profile between leaving St Theresa's and moving to Simone's so her last real contact before then was nearly a year ago when she'd screamed down the phone at her after being mildly reproved by Simone in class. This creature was a stranger and it unsettled her as it threatened her sense of control. As a Senator, highly used to the power she wielded, her portentous utterances were never questioned amongst her circle, being wrapped around by a candy floss layer of like minded people while underlings cowered in the fear of the slightest look of displeasure. Her word was law and slipping back into the messy world of family situations offended her fastidious that reason, she never spotted Simone's near fatal gaffe, something that Annabelle spotted a mile away.

"You know, Ms Bradley, you were lucky not to be tried and convicted for sexually molesting an under age girl. You must be very grateful for the guardian angel who was looking after you. The best that can be said about the situation is that thank God you'll never teach again."

This sly calculated manipulation got Simone shaking inside with anger. She hadn't bargained for this. Annabelle saw that she had to step up to the mark and she borrowed a lot from Simone's debating technique. After all, she's seen it in action close up.

"Simone and I have been doing our homework. I know that the Mother Immaculata wouldn't have wanted a scandal to ruin the school's reputation, one involving her niece and the daughter of a bigshot senator . You wanted to bust Simone but you couldn't do it without the Mother Immaculata's evidence. I'm turning eighteen day after tomorrow and we'll have the perfect right to live together and you know it."

Those quiet words took Mrs Tillman totally aback. She realised that this teacher might be privy to all sorts of dark secrets that lay behind the walls of the prim Catholic School. As usual, she bottled down her feelings so nothing showed on the outside. She felt fortunate that her politician's experience of acting like someone else helped her but for all that, she sensed that, right now everything hung in the balance and the final outcome wasn't certain.


	17. Chapter 17

Unfortunately for Mrs Tillman, Simone's quick mind was starting to put two and two together. She knew that the very likeable Kristen who'd been the first to welcome Annabelle to the school had a little daughter which spoke of under-age sex of the heterosexual kind and of Catherine Pegrum, whose drummer father was in a drug rehabilitation unit and who kept her daughter supplied with pot and bottles of Jack Daniels. She knew above all that the Catholic High School had, except for Military School, had the most fearsome reputation for straightening out wayward teenagers. The combination of the verbal skirmishes and the growing smile on Simone's face and meaning look in her eyes prompted Mrs Tillman to tread carefully but for all that Simone daren't underestimate this political poker player, who did her best to conceal her thoughts and remain impassive. Enlightenment dawned in Annabelle's mind as to how her mother really operated and she exchanged looks with Simone as to which card to play next. Simone was ready for this and reached inside her shoulder bag for the letter.

"We've had some really good news through the post, Annabelle's graduation results. Perhaps you've heard of them being so well connected?" Simone said with a broad smile

"I saw the letter. I don't expect the news to be good which is why I sent on to you. It's bound to set the seal for years of tribulation you've brought on the family," Mrs Tillman said with chilly formality, for once in her life guessing completely wrong.

"But it isn't. Perhaps you ought to read it out to your mother if you want to," Simone smirked. Annabelle's hand gesture graciously let the former teacher sing her praises on her behalf, while admiring her lover's persistence in pushing her luck.

"Let me see, C minus in performing arts and mathematics," Simone clearly declaimed while Annabelle put her hand in front of her mouth to conceal the grin on her face at her lover's feint move as of a skilled verbal fencer."Straight C in science, B minus in French and social science and A minus in English. How about that"

Mrs Tillman's face was a picture. Her sources of information or her attention span had not prepared her for the rapid progress her daughter had made in school. She knew very well that public expectation required of her at least the appearances of being a proud mother yet it would simultaneously require her to eat humble pie. How often she'd bemoaned her wayward daughter's behaviour in all its facets yet after being expelled twice and the inevitable disruption in changing schools, she'd perversely stolen a march over her limited expectations at the last minute. It was almost as if her daughter had deliberately set out to cheat her.

"This moves us onto the next item," Simone continued, unreeling her agenda while Annabelle sat back."With such a distinguished academic record, Annabelle has every right to go to the graduation ceremony. I've checked around and it takes place in four days from today, on Wednesday, at 2pm at St Theresa's. Obviously, you've got every right to go along with your husband."

Annabelle's face remained impassive though her insides were churning. She hadn't discussed it with Simone but she definitely didn't want her parents to go but wanted with all her heart for Simone to accompany her. She looked intently at her mother's expression and was pretty sure that, for once in her life, their preferences at least partly coincided.

"I must consult my diary and that of my husband. We lead such busy lives as you must appreciate,"Mrs Tillman said stiffly. She moved over to her bureau in the corner from which she extracted her laptop. Balancing it on her knees, she raised up the flap and clicked on the machine. She made a show of glancing at various screens and databases while Annabelle and Simone exchanged glances. Now they'd got stuck into this deadly cut and thrust confrontation, they felt themselves propelled onwards and forwards.

"I'm afraid it's not possible. Both of us have appointments we can't possibly get out of. The trouble with public life is that it places demands which as citizens we cannot escape however much both of us would have liked to see you enjoy your moment of triumph. I'm not sure if you, Ms Bradley, had thoughts of taking our place on this occasion. You will of course run the embarrassment of meeting your old colleagues and the risk of wagging tongues. It's entirely your choice but you must appreciate what you're letting yourself in for."

"Talking about public duty, it would be a real sin if I weren't at the graduation ceremony with Annabelle. I'll face up to whatever comes my way. Ultimately, it's Annabelle's choice," Simone responded promptly.

Annabelle's throat was dry as she was suddenly and brutally confronted by the choice that she and Simone had been idly speculating about. A vision arose before her eyes of all her classmates, all the proud parents who would travel miles to accompany their offspring as opposed to her mother's cynical betrayal of her, the very same woman that she knew they'd have to be very nice to to extract the trust fund money from. This was all becoming too much as she was sitting in the settee in the house that spelled unhappy memories. Only Simone sitting next to her was her anchor of bedrock security, the kind of motherly figure she should have had except they were lovers more than anything else. Her head was spinning round. Everyone wanted an answer on the spot from her yet she owed it to Simone not to show weakness. Finally, she found her voice.

"I do want to go to the graduation as I've worked hard for it. It's a shame that you and dad can't make it but I'm sure Simone will look after me,"Annabelle said in a croaky voice, feeling like a hypocrite.

"Have you got something to drink?" Simone asked.

"I certainly don't feel that we can offer you alcohol. You know how strict the rules of the house are," Mrs Tillman said disapprovingly.

"I want a cup of tea more than anything else."

"Tea?" Mrs Tillman exclaimed, genuinely surprised."I remember you drinking coke by the jugful. If it wasn't that, you'd drink strong black coffee."

"Since I've been at Simone's, I've got used to drinking tea. The Boston Tea Party took place over three hundred years ago, you know," Annabelle retorted defiantly

"I've no objection, Annabelle. I didn't think it went with your rebellious image, that's all. I see you've got rid of that nose ring and that streaked hair as well," Mrs Tillman said disdainfully.

"You've got to understand that I only rebel against something that's worth rebelling against. I've gone past the outward forms of rebellion, that's all. Simone's like that as well,"swiftly regaining control.

In a more congenial atmosphere, Simone would have burst into a round of applause at her lover's incisive observation or at least squeezed her lover's hand. This chill atmosphere killed off any little spontaneities of feeling, let alone action. She could feel the tension in Annabelle rising up all the time as much as when the Mother Immaculata reprimanded her while Simone's teacher status paralysed her from sticking up for her.

"I'd like a cup of tea as well, Mrs Tillman," put in Simone with a touch of defiance which she made impossible to ignore. The other woman's lips tightened as she reached for her pager, her electronic bell.

"I used to catch Annabelle out drinking Jack Daniels and come down still hungover from the previous night. It was such an embarrassment when our friends were present. Everyone noticed of course," Mrs Tillman sneered.

"I really disapprove of drunkenness myself. It is so undignified. I always try to discourage it amongst my pupils," Simone put in with almost exaggerated enthusiasm. This remark really threw Annabelle for a loop as, for the first time, her mother looked at Simone with a faint look of approval. The one thing that she thought that she could depend on was Simone by her side and here she was, acting like some temperance nut. What the hell was she playing at. The memory crossed her mind when she, Cat, Kristen and Colins were passing a bottle of Jack Daniels around, playing this '"I Never' game which was when she'd first openly confessed to being a lesbian. She was sure that Simone had smelt the alcohol and her disapproval was understandable at the time but she hadn't expected this reaction, not now that her lover had loosened up so wonderfully. It unsettled her just when she needed to be strong as she sensed how the cards would fall for.

Time hung heavy on the air as they waited for the maid to serve tea. Finally, the maid returned and the tea served in bone china cups and delicate saucers tasted way too strong and bitter to Annabelle. Where was Simone's soothing and relaxing cup of tea that she loved so much? The clinking of teaspoons in the cups sounded unnaturally loud and this didn't feel like home. Finally, Annabelle lay her cup and saucer on the side. She couldn't wait any longer.

"There's one other thing we need to discuss, mother,"Annabelle said with deliberate formality, hoping the wire taut tension within her didn't show on her face or in her voice. She really needed to be in top combative form to screw the trust fund money out of her mother's avaricious claws. She saw the raised eyebrows and decided to go for broke.

"Last time I was here, I found out that my grandfather settled on me a trust fund income to take effect from my eighteenth birthday and you and my father are joint executors. Well, since I'm due to turn eighteen, I want to get this show on the road."

The chilly atmosphere suddenly turned thunderous as Mrs Tillman's eyes turned cold and her intense effort to keep a poker face without revealing her feelings didn't quite succeed in concealing the guilty knowledge she possessed. Annabelle knew instantly that she was right on the mark

"I don't know what you're talking about, Annabelle. You'll be provided for in our will as our only daughter- if you merit it."

"Don't give me that shit, mother. I even know how much the trust is worth and how much you are supposed to pay me. I'm only asking for what's legally mine."

"So you really think you can sit back at your ease with your...companion... and not do a single day's work. You've got another think coming," Mrs Tillman said, finally erupting and wagging her finger at Annabelle.

"So at least you admit the existence of the trust? My sense of grammar tells me that your late father in law entrusted you to administer the terms of the trust,"Simone interposed in her soft voice.

Too late, Mrs Tillman kept her mouth tight shut and glowered at the two women. The cat was well and truly out of the bag. Annabelle couldn't repress a grin at this smart move and gave Simone a grateful sidelong glance. She reached for the next card to play with confidence.

"Shall we do things the easy way or the hard way?"

"What do you mean? I don't like being threatened," Mrs Tillman blustered. Both women saw right through her.

"You set up the payments into a bank account with perhaps a cheque to start with, right,"Annabelle said with deliberate patience."In return, we'll set off to have a quiet life, no more headlines in the Los Angeles Tribune. I don't suppose you read the celebrity mags butt you check out the children of famous parents who do the spoiled kid routine with drugs and alcohol, pictures snapped by papparazzis getting up to all sort of stupid things. You want to be this famous politician that everyone admires and, who knows, you might even be our next President with biographies written about you. Maybe Hollywood will make a film about you with Sharon Stone going for a serious role. Simone and I will be happy to be written out of your history and just do our thing together and you'll have no hassle."

"Or?" Mrs Tillman said in hard, tight tones.

"Oh, in that case," Annabelle said in the deadliest and softest of voices, her grey eyes boring into her mother's eyeballs in a way which was far more discomforting than the way she had once flirted with Simone in class."It looks to me that a smart lawyer might snap up a case like mine and improve on the terms of the original trust. It might be prized right open like a clam being taken apart. Then think of the bad publicity. Remember, I'm now a distinguished scholar. 'Feminist politician kicks reformed daughter financially in the teeth. All this talk of a better America and what do we get as a personal example?' The headlines write themselves."

The words hit home. Both women could see that the consummate politician had been out-generalled and was on the ropes. She was only left with a few feeble punches with which to defend herself.

"And all because your girlfriend has been busted as a teacher and will never work again. Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach. What hope is there for you, Ms Bradley," she said with spiteful zeal.

"You're probably right about me teaching in future. You have no right to put me down this way. I am a respected teacher and a lot of former pupils of mine know what I've done. What have you done with your life? Doing commercials for a political party that makes empty promises," retorted Simone with fire and righteous indignation.

"All right," Mrs Tillman said, putting her hands to her ears knowing that her sword was finally knocked out of her hand."I suggest a deal. I'll do as Annabelle suggested and I'll add an amount on top as your eighteenth birthday present but on one condition. I insist that as Ms Bradley has a proven track record for handling money much though I deplore her morals that payments go into her bank account to administer on your behalf. If during the course of the next six months I hear that nothing untoward has happens, maybe I'll transfer payments over to you. You should know that you can't get something for nothing and if you don't like this, I dare you to take it to the press or a lawyer. They'll laugh you out of the front door."

This was a development neither woman had anticipated. Both women saw it as a final calculated stab at them, possibly to split their forces. Annabelle's instinct to lash out blindly conflicted with Simone's sense of powerlessness. Neither woman could speak in front of their enemy and finally, Simone framed the words.

"All right, we accept," she spoke, rousing Annabelle's anger mostly at her mother but partly at Simone for undercutting the protest she was about to voice. Their forces were now hopelessly split to fight the matter further."So long as you write out the cheque here and now."

Mrs Tillman got up and went to her bureau. In the tense atmosphere, the maddening woman seemed to take ages to find the chequebook. She brought it back and carefully wrote out the cheque on a big fancy J.P Morgan chequebook and passed it over. Simone slipped it into her handbag, making Annabelle feel more disempowered than ever.

"And now I really don't think we have any more business to discuss. I need your bank details, of course to set up the financial arrangement," Mrs Tillman said stiffly, passing her an expensive silver biro and a writing pad. Simone got her chequebook out of her pocket and wrote in as clear a hand as she could manage, her bank details. It made Annabelle feel like a helpless onlooker.

"My maid will show you out," were Mrs Tillman's parting words. Both women were trembling all over at their mixed emotions as they were politely ushered out of the front door which clicked behind them. Annabelle started silently marching with rapid strides in the direction of the gates, not looking at the life she was irrevocably leaving behind. Sure enough, the gates opened at just the right time when Annabelle approached and closed just after Simone passed through a few minutes said everything about their welcome.

"Give me the car keys. I want to drive," Annabelle said abruptly to Simone. She snatched them abruptly when they were passed over. During the drive away from the family home, the car howled like a banshee as it skidded round the corners and cut across traffic in a truly dangerous fashion. Looking in retrospect, Simone didn't want to remember any details of the journey.


	18. Chapter 18

The first inkling Simone had what was wrong with Annabelle's mood was going terrifyingly wrong was the way she rushed on ahead after stopping the car with a screech of brakes. She ran down the steps towards their home at an insanely fast speed instead of linking arms and walking down in a leisurely fashion. The fair haired woman felt compelled to go as fast as she could but she was scared of taking a tumble down the periodic steps, handicapped as she was by her heeled shoes. Her lover sped on recklessly, saved by a miracle from disaster and by her flat-heeled sandals that somehow clung to her feet. By the time Simone was close to the bottom, she was startled to see the object of her concern , long hair flailing in the breeze head on down to the beach, and rush onto the sand. A vivid image was instantly branded in her mind of Annabelle running on the sand like a dervish, wheeling and dipping, giving vent to high pitched sounds of utter distress while Simone was already becoming breathless and struggling to catch up with her. This day had suddenly gone insanely wrong after the brilliant achievement of the cheque in Simone's handbag and the promise of the standing order.

When Simone had quickly regained her breath she ran across the sand, her straight line easily catching up with Annabelle's circuitous tracks across the sand and she approached her lover. It was then that she realised just how disturbed she was.

"Annabelle, please listen to me," Simone pleased, trying to recapture a trick or two of her teaching days in grabbing her lover's attention.

"Don't touch me, don't touch me,"Annabelle kept screaming, her hair straggling all over her face which was as white as chalk. Her hands were held up, waving in front of her face as if to fend off something that only she could see. This scared Simone out of her wits. The nearest that she'd seen Annabelle behave that way was after a fight she'd had with Catherine in the dormitory over some barbed remarks she'd made about them both when Simone had temporarily backed away after the emotional intensity of her stay at this very house. Though heartbroken at her inability to tend Annabelle's hurt, she could understand the reason for the younger woman's reaction in rejecting her. This was different league stuff.

"I'm not letting you go, Annabelle. I'm not letting you go," Simone kept on repeating to the other woman. "Even if it gets pitch dark, I'll still be here with you."

Again and again, Simone kept on repeating her declaration of love and faithfulness until suddenly, Annabelle ran out of energy. She suddenly slumped on the beach, shivering all over, looking sweaty to the touch with sand all over her dress and legs. Simone tried to work out in her head just what to do next. Her natural instinct was to comfort Annabelle but she feared to start her off into another peculiar rage. Some memory instinct of past occurrences flashed back into her mind and she clicked into teacher's mode of operation. In as hard and precise a voice as she could summon up, she made her intervention as short and sharp as she could summon up.

"Annabelle Tillman, you need a shower. Right now."

Amazingly enough, the other woman raised herself to her feet. Shivering all over, Annabelle started to trudge in an uncertain line towards their house and Simone followed, stopping to pick up her lover's sandals which, only now, had become detached from her feet. After Simone neatly slid open the front door, the younger woman stomped into the house and headed for the shower, not saying a word. Fairly soon, the sounds of rushing water could be heard. Sighing with relief, Simone kicked off her shoes and collapsed in a chair. She could have done with a shower herself and would certainly have offered to share it with Annabelle only, this time, the situation wasn't right. It was now that she reached for her handbag and felt anxiously for her cheque and, sure enough, the cheque from the J P Morgan account nestled safe and sound. It felt very strange that today had given them some measure of financial security as opposed to her lurking financial worries while everything in her private life was blissfully serene and wonderful. Now the situation had reversed itself in this hideous fashion.

As time went on, Annabelle still hadn't come out of the shower. Normally, she'd have come out way earlier than now in her zest for what was next in their lives. Not a word had come from her, not the occasional snatches of singing as she used to hear in their first days before her lover had first suggested highly novel and more companionable aspects of basic hygiene. Simone started to worry and left it a little while before her concern for the younger woman overrode her natural caution.

"Annabelle, I want to talk to you, make sure you're all right,"Simone called out in her clear gentle tones. The silence that greeted her in return was chilling. Simone left it a little while and called out a second time and again there was a deafening silence.

It was just while Simone was steeling herself to have a third try when finally Annabelle stumbled out of the shower and hurtled in the direction of their bedroom. Without bothering to towel herself dry, she fell forward onto the bed her face buried in the duvet. She was still shivering all over and it was patently obvious that this wasn't down to the cold. The fair haired woman knew that she had to take action quickly and get it right. Their futures depended on it.

Simone had the foresight to grab a hairbrush and towel so she calmly sat next to her and started to softly run her hairbrush through Annabelle's tangled hair, softly towel her down and make gentle shoosh shooshing sounds. The half-light of their bedroom made for a gentle soothing atmosphere and the soft and regular rhythms had their effect in calming Annabelle down much to Simone's huge relief. She became aware that the younger woman's skin felt less tense and sensed that her nerves weren't standing out on stalks. Finally, a shapely hand extended itself sideways groping blindly for something. Simone's calm and gentle nature started to make its presence through her own tensions and she placed her other hand near where the younger woman was reaching. Finally, they made contact and Annabelle's fingers and thumb started to gently stroke the offered hand as her breathing became calmer and more regular. Finally, the younger woman twisted around and those remarkable grey eyes were teary with deep remorse.

"I am really, really sorry, more than I can ever say. I never, never meant to behave that way, not after everything you've done for me. I'll never do it again,"Annabelle said in her first strained words. Simone's heart jumped for joy as at last her lover was coming back to her.

"I think I know what happened," Simone said with kindness and infinite understanding. This made Annabelle cry all the more. She didn't try to hide her tears. When she was feeling less choked inside,she started to explain herself.

"I never, never meant a single word about you not touching me. I got really crazy and it will never happen again. You know I just love the way you touch me, in every way possible. You do know that, don't you? I only said it once before when I had that fight with Cat and I couldn't handle you distancing yourself from me. I know now why you had to do it. You must believe it. I wasn't ignoring you earlier on. I was ashamed of myself, of the way I'd been behaving, that I'd somehow trashed our love and couldn't see it get mended."

"Of course I understand," Simone said with her infinitely gentler soothing voice as she gently stroked the younger woman's face with her fingertips. She could see the pleading look in lover's eyes which touched her to the core.

Annabelle's sigh of relief was audible. Her arms reached out, aching to be hugged. Simone slid into her arms and the younger woman held her for a long, long time and she could feel the last of her nervous tension gradually released. She drew a little way back to look deep into Simone's blue eyes. Finally, a stream of words came pouring out mingled with her tangled emotions which were unleashed in a torrential flood. Simone felt her lover's desperate need to explain herself as much as she felt her own emotions.

"I'm beginning to figure out my freakout, sweetheart. I grew this hard shell round myself when I was with my parents, as if I'm pretending they can't get to me so I won't get hurt by their neglect. When I had screaming matches or became passive-aggressive, that's what I was trying to do. Of course, when they engineered for Marilyn and me to get split up, that did hurt me. I hated them for doing it to me and hated myself for being hurt by them. When my parents drove me to St Theresa's that first day I started, I remember looking out the window of that stretch limousine, vacantly looking at the window at this psychedelically distorted view of the trees and sky, my mother on her mobile, some file in her lap with the latest headlines of 'The Senator's daughter in Trouble again.' It stopped me feeling and it's taken a long time to see everything from the outside. I'd been bottling everything up but being here with you is so incredible, not only your love, sharing our lives, this dream house but you've gradually opened me up,loosened me up, making me tender-hearted and open. The trouble is I saw my mother again and all those fucked up feelings come pouring out when I had no defences. Maybe you think I'm kind of nuts," she finished with a shaky laugh.

"Ever since I've known you I've seen you as totally normal," Simone said softly. A half-grin suddenly appeared on Annabelle's face despite the odd tear still forming in her eyes.

"That's a good one. Can you explain that one please?" she replied with mingled respect, fascination and humour in a way only Annabelle could successfully manage.

"Your reputation preceded you at St Theresa's, darling. I was warned to expect this really terrible trouble-maker who'd disrupt the form only you gave me this really beautiful and thoughtful response to that Walt Whitman poem. That got me thinking"

"I was blatantly flirting with you. I ended up getting more than I bargained for when I got to know you."

"I saw that you didn't really have a problem with authority, only with injustice and being treated like a child. Once I got past the superficials and saw you with fresh eyes, a whole other person appeared, the woman I fell in love with. You can thank Marcel Proust for that one in lending me that quote."

Annabelle threw Simone this lovely, warm-hearted smile at her sensitive insight and their private little joke, being an inscription in the flyleaf of the light green hardback poetry book she'd given her a year ago when their friendship had first taken shape. She drew Simone down next to her, lying full length against each other and hugged fer for a very long time.

"I'll never, never, never treat you like that again," Annabelle kept repeating into Simone's ear."I love you so much."

"Don't you think I haven't experienced something like the same? I saw you once behind the rocks, a cigarette in your hand when my mother came to give me her usual stiff-necked lecture about why didn't I settle down and have children or make a lot of money like my elder brother. Apart from her dreadfully depressing visits, I was sure she cooked up some sort of scheme with the Mother Immaculata, For the last five years, I've only visited them twice a year, Christmas Day and Thanksgiving and each time I feel I'm crawling out of my skin within five minutes because I'm sick of the whole charade."

"That's exactly how I feel about my parents," exclaimed Annabelle, open mouthed with wonder at the way this super-intelligent woman could tune into her feelings and still more that it was safe for to let her do so.

"Needless to say, from this year on, my brother can be on his own with them. We're spending Christmas and Thanksgiving together. That's definite," Simone said with deep feeling.

"I really like the sound of that," Annabelle replied with a beaming smile. She took a look around their little beach house and the feel of it and her lover holding her made all her nightmares go away.

"We did achieve a lot today," mused Simone looking far into the distance as her fingers lightly stroked her lover's skin," more than I ever expected that we ever could".

"You're right but can we talk about a couple of things that's still bothering me. I really need an answer."

"Ask away," Simone replied in calm relaxed tones. Annabelle was certain of her lover's sincerity

"It's the money thing. I can see why you agreed to the money going into your account but I felt like a little child while you and my mother was cutting this deal."

"Your mother is a very cruel woman. The trouble is that she's cold and can't feel feelings but she knows that you can so she's always trying to beat you down. The day may come when you'll feel sorry for her," Simone exclaimed in passionate ringing tones which made the younger woman's head whirl with the way she cut to the heart of the matter."You'd done a bang up job in putting the screws on her to cough up, the only way we would have got anywhere so this was her attempt to split us up. I really wanted to tell her to stuff her money as I feel contaminated having any dealings with her but, let's face it, we need the money. I knew she was putting the knife into you but there's a way round this."

"There is?" replied Annabelle in wonderment at this wonderful woman of hers.

"We're not obliged to keep to this agreement," Simone said in vehement tones."We go into town tomorrow and open a second bank account in joint names and that's where the money gets transferred to. We'll bust your mother's schemes wide open."

"And if she uses her contacts to spot what we're doing?" queried Annabelle.

"Then we go for the jugular just like you explained so brilliantly. We'll have her over a barrel. I'd figured that out while we were talking but I couldn't let you in on the secret with her there."

Annabelle let out a yell of absolute delight and squeezed her lover out of pure affection. She might have known that her darling woman had their best intentions in mind.

"So what about the other thing?" Simone said, starting to feel very over dressed and a bit sweaty after her recent exertions while her lover's towel had carelessly slipped round her waist and she was looking as fresh as a daisy.

"It doesn't really matter. It's trivial," Annabelle started to say in an embarrassed fashion now that her major problem was out of the way.

"Oh no, it isn't. It's about my temperance spiel, isn't it," teased Simone, her fingers stroking her lover's soft cheek. Annabelle nodded her head shyly.

To the younger woman's surprise, Simone lay on her back and uttered a peal of delighted laughter and couldn't speak for a while. The sharp-witted woman knew for certain that Simone was holding out on her.

"Come on, Simone, I know you're keeping secrets from me,"she said in her most seductively demanding fashion.

"It all goes back to my teenage rebel days," Simone started to say before irrepressible laughter choked further speech for a while.

"You mean, now or then," riposted Annabelle with the sort of quick-witted verbal penetration of intelligence that warmed Simone's heart.

"Then. Definitely then. Amanda and I were always going round Father Harris's place running errands, doing good deeds. You must imagine me as I used to be, wearing a short sleeved while blouse and that cute check short skirt, looking as if butter wouldn't melt in my mouth..."

"...mmm,"murmured the younger girl with a wicked grin,"You are giving me really dangerous ideas." Simone slapped the younger woman's skin playfully, visualising the very same thing.

"There was one thing that really grabbed our curiosity and that was the bottles of communion wine he had stored in a special place. Amanda and I reasoned that communion wine was somehow blessed and we had the curiosity of teenagers who had come from protected backgrounds to wonder what it was like to drink. You get the picture?"

"Perfectly," Annabelle said, a wide grin spreading across her face. She knew exactly where the story was heading but she liked hearing Simone tell the story..

"So one day, we sneaked a bottle of wine out and went to the rockery, you know where you and Cat smoked pot once. It's a good place to hang out and you don't get noticed," Simone continued in her bright and breezy fashion, momentarily jolting the younger woman with her depth of her knowledge. She passed it by as it was only Simone talking.

"Hard liquor like Jack Daniels, Bourbon and Rebel Yell may sound cool in comparison with communion wine," proceeded Simone blithely which made Annabelle laugh out loud at the way she put it." Let me tell you that undiluted communion wine has a kick like a demented donkey. You drink it and you realise too late that you're really going to have trouble walking. That's what happened to Amanda and I. Somehow, we supported each other and staggered into the dormitory. To this day, I don't know how we got there unnoticed. Anyone who saw us would have figured us out as drunks from the Bowery. The other bad thing about communion wine is that the hangover is super lethal. The next day, one of us staggered downstairs and had breakfast and went to lessons and the other lay in bed. Guess who was the strong one?"

"You of course," the younger woman replied, relishing the delightfully teenage aspect of her lover.

"I told such a heart-rending story to the Mother Immaculata with my big baby blue eyes about how Amanda was stricken down with a mystery bug. I fooled her too. It was the one part of my life I managed to keep secret from her. Father Harris was the only one who ever knew just like he knew about the two of us before I knew for certain," Simone concluded with a dreamy look in her eyes.

Both women felt wonderfully at peace with themselves as they lay together on the bed. Their wounds had been healed by a magical mixture of laughter and understanding. Annabelle gently stroked her lover's leg and felt traces of sand still adhering to her. It immediately made her feel a little guilty that Simone must have felt uncomfortable while their psyches were being restored. The course of action was surely obvious.

"Come on, sweetheart," she urged in her most seductive tones as she reached behind her lover and unzipped her dress."Whatever the time might be, we're having a shower together, a very special shower."

"You mean?"

"I've got such a lot of making up to do, a lot of making up and it starts right here," Annabelle replied in lust filled tones. Despite the traumas of the day, Simone's rising feelings of desire told her that she might just feel up to this.


	19. Chapter 19

"Settling down after a night of lovemaking feels almost as good as sex itself," Simone murmured into her lover's ear as they lay together, very late at night. They were lying in each other's arms, with that delicious, satiated feel about them after hours of passionate lovemaking. Their fingertips were tracing delicate patterns on each other's soft skin and they exchanged soft gentle kisses. They were both feeling very sleepy and were both deliberating just when to settle down to sleep. Lying like that might feel very sexual but they knew that one of them or both would wake up a couple of hours later with a paralysed arm or leg and neither wanted to back too far away from each other.

"So long as the sex comes first,"sleepily retorted Annabelle."I think I'd die without touching and tasting your gorgeous body and feeling you do the same to me"

"It's all your fault I'm becoming sexually insatiable," laughed Simone with a feeling of pride in herself. All the chaos and confusion earlier on felt light years removed from the way they felt now.

"Becoming?"came that inimitable laconic reply even though the younger woman's eyelids were drooping with tiredness. They shuffled round each other indecisively and and finally, it was Annabelle who rolled away so that her lover could slip into the contours of her body. This was an unusual move but both knew the reason why.

"I'll protect you darling," Simone whispered into the younger woman's ear as she rested her head on Annabelle's shoulder and cuddled her affectionately with her free arm, her fingertips briefly caressing her breasts.

"Then everything will be all right,"sighed Annabelle blissfully, feeling on top of the world. Simone could feel her lover's emotions through her own body and her senses. "Night night, sweetheart." Both women sighed in contentment, feeling wonderfully connected so they could slip cleanly into their slumbers through the night.

When Annabelle's eyelids fluttered open the next day, she was momentarily surprised not to feel Simone in her arms and then she realised that the slim arm curling round her from behind was her lovers as was the faint regular breathing on her neck and the feel of her body against her own. As all the events of yesterday came back to her mind she felt that, sure, everything had come right in the end but she bound by obligation to go one step further. As her active mind started to click into gear, she realised that this would be enjoyable for them both. In the meantime, she realised why Simone loved being cuddled from behind. It did wonders for her feelings of security and self worth on a glorious Sunday morning.

"Do you realised that, as from tomorrow, we can be living together legitimately, or at least the Moral Majority won't have a stick to beat us with?" questioned Annabelle as they ate toast and coffee at the dinner table. Simone was wearing a long green skirt and a t shirt while Annabelle wore a short white dress.

"When you're eighteen tomorrow, will you really feel different or will the mature woman I love only be one day older?" questioned Simone in a quizzical fashion which made Annabelle laugh.

"That's a good question. I know there are things I can do like be eligible to vote, sign credit agreements and practical shit like that but things don't suddenly change on birthdays. If there is one thing that made me grow up, it was falling in love with Marilyn- wherever she is right now- when I knew for certain I wasn't a child anymore. Meeting you and falling in love with you has really put me through changes. I like drinking tea for a start."

Annabelle's fast changing emotions and her perky ending was so like her love, Simone thought affectionately. A delightful smile spread across her faces which gradually faded as she looked far into the distance in the way that intrigued Annabelle.

"I'm not sure we'll ever be free from censure but who cares? My parents have been ominously quiet and we've also got to think through how we handle the graduation ceremony we're going to."

"Oh hell, I'd completely forgotten. I mean what sort of stuff happens? How do I get hold of that gown and stuff," Annabelle said in a sudden flurry of emotional panic.

"Just relax darling. You forget I've taught at St. Theresa's for quite a few years. I always got involved in organising details for the classes I taught like the conscientious teacher I am. You leave it for me to work out the practicalities though I know you need to have input on it. Our point of contact is Father Harris. I'm pretty sure he's on my mobile phone list. That's our way in to secure you our place in the graduation ceremony," Simone replied in confident tones, a broad smile on her face.

Annabelle looped her harms round her lover's shoulders and kissed her in gratitude at her thoughtfulness. It was obvious that both of them had organising minds.

"So when do we phone him? I mean what's the best time of day? You know his routines best,"asked the younger woman as she rested her hands on Simone's shoulders. The shade of anxiety in her voice was audible to the fair-haired woman's sensibilities. She knew that Annabelle wanted her to phone straightaway but Simone considered she should move cautiously but surely.

"Schools finished so he'll be having a quiet time right now. Give him half an hour and I think he'll be clear and we'll have our best chance."

The crestfallen look on the dark-haired woman's face denoted her faith in the older woman's wisdom. She started turning a few things over in her mind.

"You told me the other day that Father Harris was the only one who knew about you and Amanda's communion wine heist," began the younger woman in terms which drew a grin from Simone. She carried on in a slow contemplative way of speaking as her thoughts unfolded. "He even knew about your feelings for me. That makes him real smart. I always figured him out as this kooky old man who told weird sermons but his weirdness wasn't like dogmatic bible thumping intolerance. I guess I couldn't figure him out at all but you knew him better? I mean we need to know who we're dealing with."

"He always had faith in me," replied Simone, her blue eyes and soft complexion expressing her emotional certainty in sure-footedly walking the mental high wire."I remember talking to me when I was feeling restless and couldn't figure my life out. He told me once, ' maybe the best thing is to not try and figure it all out.' In other words, trust your instincts."

Annabelle's soft smile showed how these few simple words expressed her own view of the world. She indicated to Simone to continue.

" He told me that I was always his favourite and that I stood out from the crowd. I really didn't think so but him telling me about the wine heist was his way of telling me that he still thought very highly of me. He also told me that the trouble about being in his position was that he knows everything."

"Trouble, that's interesting," observed Annabelle, her face alight with interest, having hung on every nuance of her lover's words."My mother would never think that way."

"Which is why I somehow think he wouldn't deny us your proper place at the graduation so long as we are properly respectful,"Simone concluded, a dreamy look of reminiscence in her eyes. A trace of her sounded like the teacher she was at St Theresa's except for her careful use of the word 'us' not 'you.' This wasn't lost on Annabelle

"In other words, we don't come over too gay," she said flippantly and added, on seeing Simone's disappointed look."I know Simone. I know we can't be spontaneous and loving and that's going to be the deal Father Harris will drive with you."

"I remember that conversation very well. It was after that first erotic dream I ever had of you," Simone added fondly.

"What's that? You bitch," Annabelle retorted playfully. Her eyes were gleaming with mischief, her whole being vibrant with insatiable curiosity as she shot round the table to Simone's side."You never told me of that. Now I've got to know. You talking dirty will be such a turn-on."

"All right," Simone said giggling helplessly as she realised what she'd done. She knew that it was a minor manifestation of her tendency to keep closed in that life with Annabelle was fast dispelling. "Let's go to the settee and I'll tell you the story and then we'll wash up and deal with the dirty clothes mountain that's piling up in the washing basket. The younger woman wasn't displeased at the outcome since doing housework with Simone was a relaxing enough experience. She curled herself around Simone's slim body and waited for her to speak.

"It was just after you came into my bedroom wanting to talk about your ingenious story about first date etiquette and made a pass at me that you really got under my skin. I remember lying in the bathtub, letting my mobile go onto record so I didn't have to talk to Michael that I went into the chapel, complete with rosary beads. I was sitting in the front pew trying to get my thoughts together. The candlelight was gentle and soft and glowing and I'm sure it triggered the thought of you silently coming up behind me. You were wearing tight cut jeans and a low cut sleeveless white top. I was wearing the same green T shirt and long green skirt as I'm wearing now. I felt you sitting beside me and, this time when you put your hand on my thigh, I didn't flinch. In fact, I let you, I wanted you- to slide your hand down my leg, reach below the hem, I was in fire inside. I loved the sensuous feel as your hand slid up my leg. I started to feel damp inside as I waited for your fingers to penetrate me. At last when you touched me, I turned round to kiss you and you had disappeared. I was all there on my own and, of course, that pushed me up against my feelings of guilt and my responsibility as a teacher."

"Oh bummer, just as things were getting good. Too bad I wasn't there and I didn't know anything about it. I know darling," Annabelle's voice softened as she saw that her humour was misplaced."I know now just how tough a time you had in coming out. I'm just so happy everything's come out right in the end."

"Telling you the story here and now makes me feel good that I had a disobedient imagination and it prepared me for living my life right now. It also makes me want to get laid- very soon," added Simone with pure lust edging her voice.

"I thought you'd never ask," Annabelle replied seductively, joyfully thankful for her lover's increasing forwardness and that no barriers lay between them except the clothes they wore.

A couple of hours later on, they'd whisked their way through cleaning the dishes and the washing cycle had ended while they'd been doing a bit of housework. Simone rustled up a washing basket and clothes peg bag out of nowhere while Annabelle marvelled at a recess of this house she hadn't known about. She followed Simone into a small back room where the washing machine was housed and noticed the back door.

"I'll open the washing machine door and you give me a hand to scoop all the washing into it," Simone said quietly to the expectant woman. This was a side of life Annabelle had never known about. Where she'd lived before, a silently moving maid had quietly disposed of her dirty washing and replaced it in her wardrobe without her ever thinking about it. Eagerly, she scooped in knickers, a couple of Simone's bras, her pairs of loose fitting trousers and her own beloved denim jacket.

"This job becomes less glamorous after you've been doing it a few years. Still, I've never been given real help before and it's you who's with me ," observed Simone drily to begin with. She quickly softened her tone as she realised that she sounded like a kill-joy. Her lover's sometimes child-like enthusiasm for what was under her nose was something she should learn from.

"So what happens next? I'll open the door," offered Annabelle. Simone was grateful that she didn't need to use her third arm as she brought the full washing basket through the door. In the back was a small neat square of grass with a washing line running between two posts. At the end of the garden, a wooden fence separated the garden from the outcrop of rock that was the nearest part of the cliffs that were stacked up behind them. The original builder of the beach house, Annabelle observed, had used every spare inch of natural geography to tuck in their dreamhouse to its location.

"We need to leave space on the left. I've stripped our bed earlier on and the sheets right at the bottom of the heap,"Simone said casually."I think our sheets were a bit overdue for cleaning," she added with a meaning look upon which Annabelle did her inadequate best to look innocent. Of course, their nights of lovemaking couldn't help but leave its mark.

Looking back on it, Simone marvelled at the way she could loop a pair of trousers on the line and two pegs appeared from out of nowhere or where Annabelle's jacket was hung just right to dry, she pegged it in position. It was this simple, unselfconscious working together that made this mundane job pass so effortlessly. The sun was shining down upon them both and time passed in in an extraordinarily pleasant way. Finally, Simone pulled out the bedsheets and called out to her lover.

"Give me a hand to fold the sheet in two. Grab two corners and come forward to meet me."

Neatly anticipating Simone's need, Annabelle moved forward and placed the corners in Simone's hands. A smile spread across the fair-haired woman's face as as she swept up the sheet and flopped it on the line, Annabelle was there with the pegs. She couldn't have conceived of Michael doing this job with her and, even if he had, he would have infallibly dropped his corners just when her own grip was temporarily unsure. As Simone pegged her red bra in position and cleared out the last of the washing, she put her hands on her hips with satisfaction and met the younger woman's happy grin. Companionably, she draped her arm over Annabelle's shoulder.

"I think we've just earned ourselves a nice hot mug of coffee."


	20. Chapter 20

"Right," Simone said decisively once she'd drained the last of her coffee."Here's where I put my neck on the line. The worst that can happen is that I get excommunicated."

Though she spoke in a light-hearted joking tone of voice, the sharp-eyed Annabelle didn't overlook the tremor of Simone's lips. The dark-haired woman knew by now just how tough her lover could be under her mild exterior but she also knew that she was highly vulnerable to censure by someone who she was once close to, especially someone who had supported and understood her for so Harris was her real father figure with everything that went with it.

"Do you want me to stay with you or go someplace else?" the younger woman asked gently.

"Give me the letter with your grades and stay with me," Simone said tersely."I need both. Come take my hand."

Annabelle obligingly extended her hand which was fiercely gripped while Simone clicked the saved number with her free hand, breathed in and out loudly while waiting for the call to be taken. She hurriedly stuffed the letter on the side without thinking.

"Is that Father Harris. It's Simone Bradley here," a very tremulous voice came down the phone.

The elderly, white-haired man reacted with a shock of surprise and a residue of relief, behind which a multiplicity of emotions whirled through his mind. He was been seated at his old mahogany desk for the words of a sermon which were stuck fast in the machinery of his mind. He'd felt conflicted and angry ever since the traumatic events of the dramatic arrest of his favourite one-time pupil over the seduction of that determined, headstrong wayward pupil who was in her senior year. He was torn apart by competing loyalties, between the Mother Immaculata's forceful and dominant conservatism, his own subtle defiance of old certainties, his abhorrence of the way that the Mother Immaculata colluded in the way that their quiet and insular world had been exposed to the modern vulgarities of tabloid journalism. He'd been shut out of the loop while powerful political forces had played Russian Roulette with the good name of the school. When he heard how no criminal proceedings were proceeded with, he angrily asked himself what the fuss was all about in the first place. His own desire to somehow square the circle and please everyone didn't help him at all.. He knew above all, as an insider that the Holy Roman Catholic Church was not the rigid, set in stone conservative organisation as outsiders saw it. This whole matter couldn't come at a worse time as normally the staff of St Theresa's would be a hive of activity. This was because the whole public showcase of the school was for the ceremony that would send off another class of Catholic emisseries into the wide world. All the preparations and arrangements were like a military operation to this end. Equally exhausting were the arrangements for all the proud parents to be sent their invitations and would they respond on time.

Most recently, Miss Bradley's grey convertible had been mysteriously spirited away a week or so ago and this had caused a buzz of consternation as to what had happened to it. Was this a police matter and did the theft of a former teacher really concern them? Father Harris suspected the truth but was too constrained by the hothouse emotional tension to make a move.

One particular vexed question was the imposing shadow that Senator Tillman would cast on the proceedings connected with which was Annabelle Tillman's final grades. The Mother Immaculata kept this locked up like a military secret with all the diplomatic determination of Henry Kissinger.

"You shouldn't have sent off Annabelle Tillman's results like that to her parents without phoning her first," Father Harris ventured to suggest to the Mother Immaculata ,discreetly intruding beyond his pastoral duty of care on the religious front."At least you ought to phone them now to see if they are coming."

The glare of anger he received made him stomp out of her office and tempted him to slam the door in fury after him. He definitely resented her high handed attitude. It was at this tense minute that Simone phoned him up.

"It's good to hear from you Simone but you know as well as I do that these are troubled times, for me as well as for you,"he said in crusty tones."Still I should not spurn human contact from an old friend."

"Oh help,"Simone gulped. This very honest human reaction softened the old man's mood.

"You must forgive an old man his irritability. You'll know that the graduation ceremony is upon us and many unchristian thoughts and words are spoken at a time when your normal quiet assistance isn't with us this year. Still, I'm sure you haven't phoned just to pass the time of day with me."

"I err, I was wondering if any provision has been made about Annabelle Tillman's presence at the graduation," Simone said very tentatively.

"I would be delighted to know myself if I had the faintest idea of her grades. Seeking to obtain them is like breaking into Fort Knox with a toothpick."

"I can help you. Annabelle is with me and we have the results," Simone said quickly, her voice bursting with pride as she dared to take quick advantage of the situation as she saw how the land lay. Annabelle caught the drift of the conversation, reached for the letter with her free hand and let Simone confidently and proudly declaim the results down the phone. There was an astonished silence at the other end of the line.

"Words fail me. I have asked the Mother Immaculata on this very matter and I've been stonewalled. Can I ask you another question, Simone?" he asked in kindlier tones, the anger in his voice clearly thankfully not directed at her.

"Sure,"Simone replied softly. The old man knew for certain that Simone Bradley was being totally sincere.

"Would you happen to know if Miss Tillman's parents are intending to attend their daughter's academic triumph?"

"Unless anything's changed that we don't know, they won't be. We went to visit them yesterday and both of them have appointments that, 'as public figures, they can't possibly get out of,'"Simone replied promptly, unable to stop a trace of sarcasm leaking into her voice.

"I suppose that leaves you as Annabelle's companion and one time teacher to accompany her if you both feel you want to," Father Harris said in loud, brisk tones, his heart warming to his one time star pupil. It had originally been on the tip of his tongue to lecture her sternly about the return of the prodigal daughter but, as the conversation had proceed, he could feel his sympathies start to shift in her direction. He was also mindful of the follies of rash judgement and decided that, whatever he had heard about the scandal that had suddenly broken over the school like a tidal wave, Simone would not have acted without reason.

Annabelle's sharp ears picked up on both ends of the conversation, nodded her head rapidly and a beaming smile illuminated her face. A slow feeling of warmth spread through Simone's system as she sensed success drifting into their direction as she clutched the very welcoming hand.

"That is really kind of you. We'd both be delighted to see you again. We know that not everyone will welcome us and we'll be discreet and careful. Annabelle understands the situation."

"I will personally see to the arrangements for you and Miss Tillman to have a place. It will happen, believe me. A distinguished scholar cannot pass without recognition," chuckled Father Harris, with evident pleasure at the fight in hand he knew he'd win to secure this.

"Annabelle says thank you and so do I," Simone said, feeling really emotional.

"You know to go to the usual shop for the graduation regalia, Simone. So long as you act with wisdom and courage at the graduation, you cannot go far wrong. Hey, that sounds like the words of a good sermon. You must excuse me if I go back to my labours."

He signed off and both women looked at each other with glowing eyes and threw their arms round each other. It had been easier than Simone had feared. After the initial joy of their success flooded through their systems, they flopped down on the sofa together as they felt temporarily drained of energy.

"I never dreamed that we'd pull this off," breathed Simone ecstatically, a wide smile spreading over her face. Annabelle leaned her head in affectionately into her lover's shoulder. Amongst so many reasons, she loved Simone's little touches of thoughtfulness in strictly avoiding any Superwoman complex.

"So now that we've worked hard this morning, what shall we do next,"Simone asked in her expansively. Annabelle was ready for this one. She desperately wanted to activate her early morning plan and she jumped to her feet in excitement.

"There's one thing I really, really want to do and that is to treat you to a romantic evening to celebrate our success.

"But all our evenings are romantic," queried her literal minded partner as she surveyed the way the mood of the evening had shifted towards the erotic to find fulfilment in bed.

"Not the way I can make it," argued back Annabelle as all sorts of ideas started colliding around in her mind."I used to do this with Marilyn when we had the chance to be on our own without parents bugging us by being there. I used to go shopping for all kinds of shit. That was a couple of years ago and I'm a bit more sophisticated since then but I know I can do it without spending much. Oh please,please, please say you'll agree," she finished saying, her long hair flying about and jumping around excitedly.

"How can I resist?" laughed Simone, charmed by the way she put it. After all, the idea of monastic self deprivation had no real appeal to her and they'd earned it over the last year that their relationship had gradually built up with all the traumas along the way.

"Right, we take the car to a shop I spotted and there's a really interesting bookshop you could be looking through and as soon as I've finished, I'll call you," Annabelle answered, reeling out a million words a minute. Simone stretched out her right arm for the younger woman to haul her to her feet. They were off on a mission..

Gleefully, the two women clattered their way to the top of the staircase and there was their car, somewhat inelegantly parked with the back sticking out into the road and the front end resting on the gravel at the side of the road. Annabelle's hand flew to cover her mouth as disjointed images broke surface of their crazy drive home from her parents.

"That really is lousy driving. I think I'd better let you take the car out. Seems I need to do some making up to the car as well as you," Annabelle said with a nervous laugh. Inspiration bubbled to the surface in Simone's mind.

"Why don't you if it takes that to make you feel better," Simone replied with an impish grin. The younger woman looked at this crazy woman and then thought to herself

"Oh, you poor, poor car," Annabelle exclaimed loudly, stroking the gleaming silver grey side of the car."I'll never ever mistreat you again. So how's about that for making up? It's kinda metallic and too big for anything else."

Simone collapsed with a fit of the giggles at the way her lover that taken the ball and run with it. The younger woman saw the humour of the situation as well as the underlying seriousness and started laughing, shaking her head. An inward smile of satisfaction told her that this woman of hers was extraordinarily well tuned into the nuances of life that was effortlessly comforting.

"Do you want to drive? I'm easy either way," Simone asked in a composed fashion.

"You drive Simone and I'll take it on the way back," Annabelle said, placing the car keys that were still left in her holdall in Simone's hand. Smiling, the fair haired woman moved to the driver's seat on this beautiful mellow Sunday.


	21. Chapter 21

Simone relaxed into the driving seat and the car slid forward, swerving slightly to correct the bad parking and they set off down the road. Annabelle relaxed back into the passenger seat, extending her right arm into the slipstream, curving her arm as she always had since that very first time when Simone had driven her out here. She loved the feel of being driven by this very serene woman whose curly fair hair was flying back in the breeze as she gently accelerated the car along the coast highway. She had never felt the nervous compulsion to press an invisible brake pedal and that was her gauge of how safe she felt. It was a primary instinctual need in her, accentuated by her family upbringing.

The sun shone its blessings down on them and the little cut glass crystal that hung from the top of the car shield revolved and twinkled its magic on them both. In Annabelle's mind, the lustrous slow spiral of guitar notes slipped unbidden into her mind. The jewel had kept her company when she'd originally spirited the car out of St Theresa's in the impossible hope of somehow reconnecting with Simone. It was very much a friend of theirs.

"I've always loved being driven by you," Annabelle said softly with a radiant smile on her face. It matched the slightly patterned short white dress with the almost demure v neck front which her favourite boots didn't interfere with. Simone smiled radiantly back, loving the feel of the word 'always.' In strict chronological terms, they'd only been living together a week but this represented the flowering of their intimacy of soul that had been budding over the last year."You're so relaxed I feel I could carry on forever."

"This is real," Simone said in her slow soft dreamy voice."Everything before I knew you is unreal. This is the way we were meant to be."

That was it, Annabelle thought with a joyful leap of her heart as the coast played hide and seek behind houses and abundant greenery only to reappear again. This was what made life so magic for them, her living dreams told her as she exchanged a fond smile with her lover who powered their car effortlessly down the road. She looked casually attractive, wearing light brown slacks, green T-shirt and a purple scarf looped casually round her neck. A shadow briefly appeared as they drew close to the turnoff for her parent's house but Simone pressed her foot on the accelerator and, in a flash, they'd passed it by. When they came to more of a closer packed grouping of houses, Simone knew that the left hand turn would take them shortly to the shopping area she was looking for.

"Hey, I can see the shop I want, two hundred yards down on our right and a bookshop at the end of the block the opposite side of the road," exclaimed Annabelle as they cruised into the high street of the straggling town which was a typical part of the State of California. Simone swung the car smoothly into position and reached for her holdall that contained her purse when a thought suddenly struck her.

"So what do we do about money? We've only got one cheque card and two places to go to?" Simone said suddenly. Annabelle was totally flummoxed. Despite her plan, it had somehow not occurred to her to work out the logistics of being other than around her lover. She wasn't sure whether or not she could be given a wad of money and let Simone use the card. At the same time, she figured out that her lover had been a single working woman for a number of years and this was the first time she'd had shared this piece of plastic with anyone. She could see temporary doubts and reservations reflected in her expressive features until she finally made up her mind.

"I tell you what. You take the card, get what you want and work out how much it costs. There's a cash machine right out the shop. I'll give you the card number to get the money out and you can meet me at the bookshop. I know it sounds a mess but it's the best I can do," Simone said with firm conviction. Annabelle looped her arms round her lover's neck and, together with a look of melting gratitude, gave her a chaste kiss on her cheek, seeing that they were out in public.

Simone strolled with pleasurable purpose to the bookshop which was on her radius of operations but which she'd not visited for a while. It was one of the few independent booksellers around and it hadn't been glossed up by marketing executives to be a modern merchandising experience to lure in the casual punter. Everything about was a bit higgledy piggledy so the shoppers who visited it were enthusiasts, both professional and amateur and knew what they wanted. Just for once, she'd concentrate on this simple pleasure without needing to put their world to rights. She felt comfortable strolling around the rambling shop and breathed the studious atmosphere in and out as she disappeared into her individual browsing, turning inward bubble. Slowly,she drifted amongst all the collected works of literature that lined the slightly battered pine shelves. The shop owner had very kindly positioned a couple of comfortable seats for his clients to take a book down from the shelves and read a little of a book in order to make the decision whether or not to buy. She drifted around the shop and noticed a back corner of a shop she'd never been before. It was a section she she'd never noticed before, entitled 'Gay and Lesbian Literature.' For a short period of time, Simone was flustered and confused and a million thoughts rushed through her mind. There she was, having slipped back into her comfortable bookshop browsing habits feeling that, underneath the tumultuous changes of the last year, she was still the same Simone Bradley that she'd ever been. Suddenly, she was presented with a tangible symbol of the way her life had changed and conflicting impulses chose her as their battleground to fight it out. She could consider that she should make a literary choice that transcended categorisations. She could look at the books in the section and move on to the tried and familiar author categorisations, being discreet or coy depending on one's point of view. On the other hand, she should consider that her reading habits should embrace the lifestyle that she had adopted and, what the hell, she should get on out there and join the revolution.

A slim yellow paperback with delicate swirly lines on it entitled 'Great Love Poems' caught her eye and having abstracted it from the row of books, she sat down on a chair to leaf through the poems with as much nonchalance as she could summon up. To hell with it, her mind reached out towards a snippet of information that back in the early nineteen sixties, a failed attempt to prosecute the publishers of D H Lawrence 'Lady Chatterley's Lover' under the obscene publications act. What now went for the straight world, she logically reasoned, should apply for the lesbian world. One clinching argument she deployed against the lingering ghost of the Mother Immaculata was that Annabelle would very likely like her choice of books. There were good reasons for this important argument and it squared the circle crossed one slim leg over the other, curled a lock of curly blonde hair past her ear and dug in.

Once she'd made her decision to buy the book, she got bolder and secured what she'd heard of as a lesbian classic and noticed a magazine called 'Diva' was left on the side and the front page immediately caught her eye. A glamorous brunette with boyishly cropped hair and soulful brown eyes next to a smaller woman with a gloriously cheeky grin, sparkling green eyes and bangs were framed by the front title 'Fighting The System.' She knew straightaway. She had to have it.

"I'll buy these including the magazine," Simone said breathlessly to the studious man behind the desk who smiled kindly on him. This shop attracted helpful assistants who actually knew their wares and weren't mere pay machine operators.

"That was left here. It's an English publication we don't normally get. You can have this for free."

"Oh, thank you," Simone said, overcome with pleasure. She moved off a little way and started to browse a little through her purchases before phoning Annabelle to say she'd finished.

By contrast, Annabelle was eager to be on her mission as she zoomed round the large multi-purpose store. She grabbed a mesh bag from the rack at the front and, as she searched for her first destination, observed with satisfaction that it seemed designed to contain everything she needed. First on her list was a selection of scented candles to give their house atmosphere. In a feverish haze of indecision, she studied the labels which would create the most languidly pleasurable atmosphere. Her next thought was to consider the sort of sexy lingerie that would suit her and her lover. Her boots clattered along the tiled flooring but what the hell. She had to get there and fast. Finally, she came to where she wanted to be. A wide smile spread across her face as she saw the positive treasure trove before her eyes and she started to let her artistic imagination take flight as she conceived of how ravishing both she and her lover could appear to each other but at the same time, she knew she dared not spend too much. She knew by now her relationship with Simone was for the long haul and she didn't want to indulge in a mad spending spree and impoverish them for the next month. She carefully considered the options, including the price tags, meaning also to be good where money was concerned and not to be madly, recklessly extravagant. She weighed the options in a perfect fever of excitement and, as she finally came to her conclusion, checked the time and was totally surprised how time has passed. There was one final item on the list and that was a bottle of champagne that she'd eyed up in the drinks department. She scooped in the bottle that she fancied, ran a mental of mental arithmetic through her mind and hurried to the checkout. To begin with, she only glanced at the girl behind the checkout and then did a double take .

"Martha," she exclaimed , instantly placing her as the not very imaginative girl who had sat at the front of her class whose dogged determination to succeed wasn't matched with an overabundance of talent. She was just some girl she'd gone to school with whose answers to Simone's questions on poetical insight she'd effortlessly outshone without trying."Hey, what are you doing here?"

"Doing a holiday job,"the other girl said resentfully, balancing her need to conform to the dictates of proper customer service and a very obvious resentment."My folks think that in order to get somewhere in the world, to get the dream holiday I want, I have to work for it."

"Going to graduation?" Annabelle asked diplomatically, trying to smile.

"I don't suppose you are," Martha answered very pointedly."No matter how brilliant you think you are, you'll cause an absolute scandal, especially if you turn up on Miss Bradley's arm. It will look so bad."

This girl sounded middle aged in the wrong kind of way, Annabelle thought

She'd been indoctrinated in the 'do's and don'ts' of this world and had accepted them unquestioningly. She was sure to marry and have two point four children and they'd turn out exactly the same as her. The lurking suspicion that they would run head on into social disgrace was quickly snuffed out in Annabelle's mind and she opted for an enigmatic non answer rather than flare up in anger. She also needed a degree of checkout cooperation.

"Yeah well, not everyone sees the world the same way you do. I was always the rebel kind. Anyway, back to my shopping, can you hold these items on the side while I go get some cash just round the corner. There's no one behind me."

The girl opened her mouth to object but Annabelle had whizzed out of the shop. True to her word, she popped back later, a wad of dollar bills in her hand. Fortunately, all was well with processing Simone's check card. She felt a little like a furtive burglar while she conducted this clandestine operation but, sure enough, the mechanical slot disgorged the notes together with the transaction slip and she waited patiently behind the two customers for her turn to come up.

"So why don't you pay switch?" Martha challenged suspiciously, staring through her glasses.

"It's all honest dollars, Martha. Don't be such an asshole and serve me,"cut back Annabelle forcibly.

Glaring back at her but not daring to bring the unwelcome attention of her supervisor down on her, Martha sulkily put the goods through the machine, looking suspiciously at the two sets of lingerie but not daring to comment. Annabelle looked on, smiling sweetly, hardly being able to wait to be reunited with her beloved and knowing that Martha, being chained to the checkout would never be able to find out right now how life had moved on. As for the graduation, well that's another day.

As she clattered excitedly out of the shop, a beam of delight spread across her face as she imagined how Simone would react. She trained her eyesight on the bookshop and, as she got closer, her smile faded and she started to get angry. There, outside the shop was Simone and she was obviously being given a load of shit by a straight couple. Quickening her pace, she clattered across the street to catch up with the action.

Back at the bookstore, Simone had run up against more unwelcome company. As she had stood, leafing through the romantic lesbian novel she had just bought which was suitably illustrated on the front page, she looked up and Lauren materialised out of nowhere.

"Oh help," she murmured under her breath, suddenly panicking and wondering dazedly, where was Annabelle? She and Michael used to go out with Barry and Lauren as a foursome and she could remember them vividly 'renewing their vows.'

"Simone," Lauren declaimed in a very accusatory tone of voice as Barry materialised in the background. Both of them were teachers at St Paul's Catholic High School along with Michael, her ex. A flash of inspiration told her that Lauren sounded just like the Mother Immaculata, only younger and prettier. That thought did the trick in aligning her thoughts right. In that millisecond, she recalled the moment she and Annabelle had been 'outed', she having just zipped up her jeans and holding her red top to cover her chest that her red bra didn't and Annabelle looking half-dressed in her slip. At that moment, she had felt incredibly uncomfortable as she had felt her job and her security collapsing around her. This was different and she wasn't going to take any shit from this woman. "I can't tell you how desperately unhappy Michael feels being betrayed while you go after one of your very own students. I can't believe how professionally irresponsible you've been."

"I love Annabelle Tillman," Simone said with determination, her face severe."Of course I don't feel comfortable the way it happened but I feel very comfortable around Annabelle in every way possible. You'd better believe me. Let's take this argument outside "

As Simone made a determined move for the exit without any shred of wanting to run away in panic, Barry and Lauren were forced to run after her.

"You want an argument in the street," Lauren said incredulously.

"It's as good a place as anywhere," Simone said coolly. Behind her façade, she was wondering if this woman was real. Mind you, she remembered how she simpered all over Barry so she guessed it was part of the same deal.

"We remember the two of you looking good together when we were at that restaurant when we told you we'd renewed our vows."

"Yeah, I was watching those two lesbians at the table next to us. That was the most memorable part of the evening," Simone answered with perfect aplomb. She really couldn't care less who heard her life story right now. She could remember the sense of physical closeness between the two women and feeling as if she was crawling out of her skin as she was stuck being part of this foursome.

"This Annabelle Tillman's only a schoolgirl and, by all accounts a trouble maker, poor little rich kid so I supposed being over-sexed is part of the deal," scoffed Barry in loud overbearing tones that inflamed Simone's anger.

It was at this point that Annabelle's clattering feet took her to within earshot of the group and she got into action without any polite preliminaries

"What the fuck are you saying about me, asshole?"she shouted in angry tones, her long hair flying back in the wind.

Lauren coloured with embarrassment while Barry reddened with anger and was about to let fly when Simone got there first.

"For your information Annabelle, I used to go round as part of a foursome with Michael ,my ex who you saw at the party and these two. They teach at St Paul's but, take it from me, they have a lot of learning to do about life and, yes you've got them right," Simone intervened in her most serene tones which quietly took over the proceedings without appearing to try. Even in her wound up state, Annabelle couldn't help noticing that little trick of her friend, accomplice and lover and it started to stabilise her. She looked at her lover's carrier bag and saw that she'd struck lucky.

"So how did you get on at the bookshop, Simone? You won't guess what I've got in store for out romantic evening. You'll just love it,"Annabelle said, deliberately cutting out these two morons. Simone had as good as said it that these two were history.

"I can't wait to see it. I picked up this poetry book, this great lesbian novel," Simone said with a defiant edge to her voice,"and this free British magazine someone left in the shop."

"Let's get back to the car. I feel like driving us home," Annabelle said eagerly, a wide smile spreading across her face.

"We don't have much in common anymore," Lauren interjected stiffly much to Simone's vague surprise that these two strangers were still here. "I guess we'll go. Goodbye, Simone, I won't promise to meet up again," she added in tight-lipped anger, dragging Barry after him.

Suddenly, their convertible came into view from out of nowhere. It was only where the two women had left it. Simone handed the car keys over to the very excited woman whose arm had been linked in hers and who took the wheel with utter confidence.


	22. Chapter 22

Annabelle settled easily into the car seat, moving the seat a touch forward as Simone was taller and more long legged than she was. She popped on her sun glasses and moved the car with such calm precision, her long dark hair fluttering and swirling in the wind. They were homeward bound after their separate adventures in the outside world. Annabelle drove the car in a smooth, relaxed fashion, enjoying the feel of being behind the wheel while Simone lay back and enjoyed the ride. It was extraordinary that as the old song said, the sun always shone in California and at least, this time of the year, it happened to be true. They retraced their steps and finally, Annabelle swung the car as far into the verge as was comfortable and she switched off the engine with a look that expected to be thanked. Simone did just that, with a full kiss on the other woman's lips and the way her hand slid round her shoulders in a gesture of combined affection and approval. The younger woman perkily got out the car with her large plastic shopping bag while Simone clutched her smaller bag with satisfaction.

"Your turn to show us what you bought,"Annabelle said mischievously when they got home. Simone produced the book,"Great Love Poems" and the lesbian novel a little nervously which the dark-haired woman pounced on with a glint of excitement in her eyes. She leafed through the books with enthusiasm for a little while before the Diva magazine caught her eye.

"I got the magazine for free,"Simone explained a little apologetically,"It's a British magazine someone left in the shop."

"Hey, that looks interesting," Annabelle said, looking at the title 'Fighting the System' and the front cover of two really attractive women. They were draped round each other in a verdant back garden setting under a partly clouded sky that shed some daylight. They looked as made for each other as did the photographs of Simone and Amanda years ago. They had the same look about them just as she and Simone will do once they get someone to photograph them. That was next on the list of 'must do's' in the younger woman's active mind.

"Get this, Simone. Helen Stewart was one a prison governor and Nikki Wade was a prisoner. This is her saying ''They are so stupidly reactionary that they made any halfway reasonable inmate want to kick off and act like rebellious schoolkids.' It's Helen saying here 'It wasn't allowed for me, a prison officer to fall in love with Nikki, an inmate when I was supposed to be her jailer. It was, I suppose, like a teacher falling in love with one of her students however mature she was in her emotional and intellectual make-up.' Don't you see, they're talking about us," Annabelle said excitedly, rattling her words out as fast as she could utter them.

"Annabelle," Simone said, slowly and clearly, wrapping her arms around the younger woman's shoulders and looking her in the eye."I agree with everything you're saying but I can see that you're torn between reading this article and getting on with our romantic evening. I haven't even seen what you've bought. The article won't disappear. What about reading it tomorrow in bed together? Don't get me wrong. It really does sound like our life."

A wide smile spread across Annabelle's face. She knew that this infinitely understanding woman knew just where her head was at. She had been in a state of pure childlike confusion wanting to do two things at the same time while knowing that she couldn't and, best of all, that Simone empathised with her. Acting like an excitable kid was perfectly all right. She was just very gently, sympathetically and lovingly working through her priorities so that she could indulge her enthusiasms in consecutive order. She moved right into Simone and gave her a long, soft,deep kiss.

"Mmm. That's better. I needed that,"Annabelle said with great satisfaction. It was then that she noticed that Simone was starting to fiddle with the top of her T-shirt for some unnaccountable reason. She'd not displayed that nervous habit for ages. It was then that the penny dropped and her thoughts dropped neatly into shape. It was her turn to speak out and no one else could do it than her.

"Er, there's something I wanted to say," Annabelle said, chewing the corner of her lip as she did when she was nervous."We both know it's my eighteenth birthday tomorrow."

Simone nodded her head and looked at her feet, unable to speak. Part of her reason for buying books that she was sure Annabelle would love was her sheer inability to afford the present she would have lavished on her lover. It part explained her edginess when she'd encountered Barry and Lauren and how this astute woman had delicately perceived that feeling and seen the other half of what was going on.

"Don't you see, you've already given me my best birthday present? All this time I've spent with you has made me feel real good about myself, better than I've felt for ages. The money my parents will give me, well what does that really mean? It's conscience money like your parents gave you this house except we've made something good to come out of it. Our romantic evening is part of the present only you're included in it,"Annabelle said, her voice and eyes at their most tender and appealing as she slipped her strong arms around Simone and held her. She felt the tension gradually ease from her lover's body and felt so happy for her.

"I want to do a little something together, sweetheart. I'll take you out for a meal tomorrow night. Nothing too fancy, just somewhere we can dress up and mellow out. Right?"

"Right," Simone said, hugging her lover and running her hands through her long dark hair.

"So now for my unpacking. Don't worry, I haven't gone mad. I promise."

With a flourish, Annabelle produced her selection of scented candles with calming balance, bath/shower gel relaxation**,** massage/body oils and Simone's eyes lit up at the sight of it.

"And this is specially for you,"Annabelle said with special effect as she brought forth passionata lingerie, a summery tropical cocktail of scarlet, orange and yellow sheer low rise shorty and a matching sheer low cup padded bra. Simone's eyes widened with delight as the vivid pastel colours of the lingerie beautifully toned with her suntanned good looks, blue eyes and her loose wavy fair hair that had recently caught the sun.

"And for me, I figured this went with my dark colours," the younger woman pronounced proudly as she produced like a magician did a rabbit out of a hat. A hot cocoa coloured knit shorts, vest and a thong and a bra in striking gold leaf pattern on pale ivory did wonders for Simone's overheated imagination. It made her lover metamorphasise into an exotic princess.

"And last but not least, something to toast our future with," she declaimed, producing a bottle of champagne and a pack of champagne flutes. Simone was dumbfounded. One glance and she could see aspects of her lover she had not suspected before, that genius to combine taste with a latent ability to make their money go a long, long way.

"Are you happy with what I've done?" Annabelle said in a slightly agitated fashion."I didn't want to be a cheapskate or get carried away and run us into the ground. It was real hard, you know. I nearly bought us a romantic CD but we'd got Tori Amos and that's good enough."

Simone's outstretched arms and luminous smile was sufficient answer to the rush of words which betrayed how really nervous Annabelle was. As they embraced, the younger woman once again blessed her lover's capacity for infinite understanding.

"You feel relaxed these days. It's great being around you," Annabelle murmured into Simone's neck, loving the feel of her soft arms around her.

"So where do we begin? I'm not used to lounging around being scantily dressed," the fair-haired woman said softly as they sat down together, one of her coy smiles illuminating her face. It displayed an enchanting mixture of shyness and pleasure at another experience being lazily extended towards her. Annabelle maintained a smiling silence as the other woman ran her fingers briefly through strands of her hair as she deliberated further in her unhurried fashion in that inimitably musical voice of hers

.

"I've never done it before, sweetheart but I've done such a lot recently I've never done before. You've made me feel so good about myself. Come on, let's get changed."

A golden smile spread across the dark-haired woman's face as Simone responded so well to her risky idea. She could picture the colour schemes so well in the shop and it was only as they set off back home that she started wondering if Simone would share her vision. Up till now, she'd run with every idea that had been laid on her so she should trust her intuition- and her loving instincts. They lazily took their time in showering together and

their skin felt fresh and beautifully perfumed as they emerged with a nice glowing feel about them and they got changed into their outfits

"This fits so perfectly. How did you get it so right?"exclaimed Simone, awestruck by the way her outfit clung to her figure so snugly. She was looking in the mirror just as Annabelle turned around, her costume complete. The sight of her loveliness caught her breath."How do you look so right?"

Annabelle's only answer was to smile sweetly as she took Simone's hand. It crossed the mind of the fair haired woman that her lover knew every inch of her body by now

"OK, so the answer's kind of obvious but it's still sweet of you to know," Simone said softly in the candlelight as they went back into the living room. No previous male partners had displayed such thoughtfulness to her.

Annabelle placed the scented candles in strategic places in the small functional holders she'd also bought. She fiddled in her bag for her cigarette lighter and carefully lit the candles before finally turning the electric lights off. Immediately, the dimness of the illumination cast flickering mystic shadows around them and a tender haze wove their way round their feelings. The magic was accentuated as Simone stuck on a Tori Amos CD which moulded into this rich meal for the senses and they were immediately transported into a different, wonderful world.

A very faint draught made the pointed candle flames dance and flicker in some mystical way. In the meantime, Annabelle reached for the champagne bottle and her skilful fingers and thumbs finally eased open the cork which popped out with a loud sound and ricocheted off the ceiling. She caught the liquid in a handy jug flute as it spurted out of the bottle and neatly poured out two flutes full of their celebration drink.

"What shall we celebrate?" Simone said perkily as she held her glass daintily in her hand lying back on the settee.

"How far we've come and our future together," Annabelle replied instantly. The very same question had swirled around in the younger woman's mind and the words jumped out in her imagination. They felt right.

"That's it," Simone exclaimed. A swirling sensation in this dream-state encapsulated the moment when she'd shook the hand of this new student, who had acted like a wary animal. She had been wearing her denim jacket, Buddhist prayer beads, short skirt and boots, smoking her first cigarette, her case at her side together with her terrible reputation. In this strange speeded up time warp, she'd metamorphasised into this sensitive, caring woman who was anyone's equal and whose gorgeous smile and twinkling eyes made her the woman of dreams she'd spent the past year getting over denying. Everything had become clear in her mind and she eagerly echoed the toast, clinking glasses together and drinking the sparking liquid. The knowledge of how hard won this moment in their lives made the champagne taste really good to her.

"We don't need to get loaded if we don't want to. It's not the point," Annabelle said softly, her grey eyes glowing magically in the half-light."I wanted just a little something extra to celebrate. Tomorrow we'll be legal and no one can hassle us."

"You really are eighteen tomorrow? I can't believe it," Simone said in such a wide eyed fashion that she drew soft affectionate laughter and her arm being affectionately stroked in response. Simone looked so gorgeous in the flickering candle light which etched her finely chiselled features and blue eyes that the dark-haired woman caught her breath, hardly believing her luck that they'd come so far together. The warmth and scented atmosphere made for

"I really want to rub this body oil into you and make you feel good," Annabelle said in her most beguiling tones. It was obvious that this ingenious woman had worked out a whole host of ideas for this evening and Simone felt perfectly happy and secure just going with the flow. Whatever was happening in this romantic evening was going to be all right. She got off the settee and lay on the carpet with a delicious feeling of anticipation. Sure enough, she felt her lover's gentle yet firm hands rub lotion into her body and she sighed with pleasure at the feel of the lotion being worked into her skin. This was the life, she thought and she longed to do the same for her lover.

As the evening unfolded, Simone was conscious of a buzz of sexual desire running through her while the woman at the centre of her urges smiled sweetly and displayed her physical charms to be admired. She thought to herself that two women could play that game and teasing her hair while she inclined her champagne glass and flirted outrageously. Neither women drank to any great extent as they were both intoxicated by the sensuous atmosphere they'd created around themselves. This was paradise.

"So how do you feel on your first romantic evening out? I mean the first of many," Annabelle said, slightly drawling her response as she lay wrapped around her lover. She felt slightly stoned when she thought about it though they'd not consumed anything chemical and their drinking had been quite moderate. She'd had lotion rubbed into her by Simone who'd obviously picked up very quickly on her technique and she was highly conscious of delicious urges within herself. The same Tori Amos CD was being sent round the electric circuits a second time which felt quite right as such music was capable of endless repetition as the CD gradually revealed its endless nuances.

"You mean, you've taken us out of ourselves?"came Simone's sharp riposte. A slow smile spread across Annabelle's face as she loved Simone's ability to tune in effortlessly into her thoughts.

"We've travelled a million miles together from here to eternity," came the reply as she felt those long slim fingers run through her long dark hair and the way Simone looked down on her with such loving compassion. She loved the feel of being cosseted like this.

"Aren't all those candles going to burn out in a bit?"Simone asked hazily as she focussed her eyesight in the gathering gloom. Little rivulets of molten wax were flowing down the sides of the holders and the candle flames were burning down low and flickering badly.

"I really don't want the electric lights back on. Another night but not now. I suppose we might as well go to bed,"Annabelle replied in her most seductive manner.

Five minutes later as Annabelle lay on her back upon their double bed, she felt as if she were sprawled out upon a vast plain. Somehow she and Simone had disrobed and she knew that her lover was going to come to her out of the pitch darkness and, sure enough, light kisses were planted on her lips and she felt her wrists were lightly grasped.

"And I know and you know, I'm all over you now," sang Simone lightly and sensually as she lay down on her lover and started to gently caress her lover with a light hearted laugh as her lips sought out Annabelle's. The younger woman could feel that her lover's body and soul was on fire for her after these hours of unconsummated sexual desire which had been amplified by the whole ambiance of the evening and she realised that this was what she'd meant when she'd written that line when she'd been shut up in the school dormitory, so near but so far from her would be lover whose separate room down the corridor was so wrong. It was a prayer as to what they might find together in their lives that was being realised tonight so triumphantly. Annabelle couldn't speak while her lover's tongue was deep inside her mouth but she felt her heart was flying free to run wild with her. This evening was even more special than most were and it felt like heaven to be so expertly and lovingly made love to.


	23. Chapter 23

"Simone," the younger woman said in a feebly complaining tone of voice as the fair-haired woman radiated unwanted enthusiasm comparatively early in the morning."You know how I love to wake up gently."

"Never you mind," the other woman said in a relentlessly enthusiastic tone that made her feel correspondingly woeful."We were going to read this article in bed together. You promised, OK."

"But I can't get my eyes to see straight," wailed the younger woman.

"So the solution's obvious. I'll get us a coffee and we'll be ready," Simone answered, relentlessly cheerfully. The younger woman sank back into the pillow and missed the delightful rear end shot of Simone as she headed for the kitchen. God, how does that woman of hers get all that energy, Annabelle thought to herself as she lay back, feeling utterly wasted. As she lay in a vegetative state halfway between sleeping and wakefulness, Simone returned, her naked feet lightly pacing her way towards their bed. They lay together, side by side as the younger woman's half-focussed eyes tried their best to conjure up sharp defined images she could relate her world to and, failing that method of waking up, she persuaded her lips to sip coffee, a bit at a time, out of her mug. Finally, her eyes became more obedient and, lying snuggled against Simone's gratifyingly shapely body, she let her hold the magazine and her brain took in firstly the tasteful photograph of two very attractive women and finally the article in question on Pages 4 and 5.

…**...**

"Helen Stewart and her partner of three years, Nikki Wade gave an acerbic commentary of the prison system from both sides of the prison bars and reminisce fondly on how they came to fall in love.

"So why now have you come out with your memoirs?"I asked.

"A very good mutual friend Barbara Hunt was blocked from publishing her diaries of the deficiencies of the British prison system so we thought we'd try instead,"was Nikki's laconic reply in her educated Home Counties accent.

"OK, I was a young, crusading, idealistic Wing Governor in a crumbling Victorian prison whose very texture and Old Boy's network was a darkly authoritarian regime riddled through and through by favouritism and corruption," Helen Stewart led off in her expressive Scottish accent, as shapely as her figure."For instance, the official zero tolerance on drugs was enforced in reality by randomly testing for drugs women they know to be clean to keep the figures low as all prisons were at it. As it was put to me very cynically by James Fenner, Principal Officer and corrupter of everything he came into contact with, 'Prison makes them feel bad, drugs make them feel good. They'll get hold of 'em, no matter what we do.' Privileges like single cells with a higher weekly goods allowance from the prison shop, duvet cover, curtains didn't necessarily go to prisoners who most merited but..."

"...which screw liked you," interjected Nikki cynically.

"Its culture couldn't have been better designed to drag down inmates self esteem once they passed through its gates. One of them, my partner Nikki Wade had done 2 years before I came on the scene and was understandably wary and defensive of anyone wearing a uniform."

"Yeah," laughed Nikki Wade, her alert brown eyes flashing with laughter."My girlfriend at the time, Trisha Williams told me 'you didn't tell me she was such a babe." I was faced with what I thought was a ten year stretch for taking out a policeman with a broken bottle who was trying to rape her. Understandably, she couldn't put her life on hold while I was locked up inside. I was in the depths of despair when Helen sought my help when her plans to make obvious improvements in the system were being systematically wrecked by the screws who saw prisons as about locking prisoners up and throwing away the key. They are so stupidly reactionary that they made any halfway reasonable inmate want to kick off and act like rebellious schoolkids.".

"It wasn't allowed for me, a prison officer to fall in love with Nikki, an inmate when I was supposed to be her jailer. It was, I suppose, like a teacher falling in love with one of her students however mature she was in her emotional and intellectual makeup,"Helen said in reflective tones, taking up the thread of their story.

"Surely not?" I exclaimed somewhat naively. I am, of course, reacting to two women who are so obviously an item in the way they catch a passing thought and lob it back and forth between themselves. Somehow, I couldn't imagine them in the roles they'd once been trapped in.

"What's moral isn't necessarily legal just the same as what's legal isn't necessarily moral. Readers must see plenty of that for yourselves in the outside world," Nikki's deep brown sombre eyes told me forcibly."In any case, I have never met anyone like Helen who is least likely to show unfair favouritism, least of all in her love for me."

"I suffered from a background of Presbyterian guilt and very real rules I was there to uphold and exemplify,"Helen Stewart said, her green laughing eyes temporarily shaded over by dark memories."I'd never fallen in love with a woman before. It turned my life upside down in finding out what the love of a good woman could do for me," Helen said slowly.

"And vice versa,"cut in Nikki."I'd been out since I was sixteen."

"I took on her appeal against what transpired to be a life sentence, something Nikki wasn't aware of. The law and order brigade have much to blame indirectly for that sentence- 'lesbian cop killer' was a tag that came far too easily to their Neanderthal minds. One of the present crimes in this society is that they have far too much of a hold on the popular press. The reality was way, way different. We found out that the policeman who tried to rape her had a history of physical and mental abuse against his wife. We also discovered an ex-colleague of DC Gossard, Sally Anne Howe who'd been raped by Gossard, had gone to make a complaint against him but withdrew it under pressure by her colleagues who then forced her out of the police force. This information was withheld from Nikki's defence barrister at her original trial. The grounds of the appeal that set Nikki free was of provocation, both by Gossard and the extreme situation she'd been placed in. It doesn't paint a pretty picture of the justice system and we both got a farewell drubbing from the reactionary press," Helen concluded with a look of distaste on her expressive features.

"So what are you now both doing with your time," I asked.

"We both work with Women In Prison, a prison reform organisation headed by our very powerful and dynamic boss Chris Tchaikovsky – named after the famous composer – and we're going to take a holiday in San Francisco, a place where Nikki has always dreamed of visiting as it is traditionally gay friendly. This will be like a second honeymoon." Helen concluded with a sidelong look of approval from Nikki.t update

All the time I interviewed these two strikingly well defined women who had endured much, I was struck by their incredible sense of empathy and that two women who truly loved each other and meshed perfectly with their uniquely equal love of justice.

A silence hung in the air as both women were struggling for the right words to express their feelings.

"Wow," Annabelle said at last, as she fumbled around for a way of expressing her feelings."These two ladies are quite something. No, scratch that one, they're amazing. Two women in like some Alcatraz environment actually falling in love with each other and coming out the other side? That's unbelievable."

"I feel they're talking to us without even knowing it," Simone said dreamily, half to herself."I can tell they had a tough time of it, not being able to speak openly how they felt about each other because the rules forbade it and they've come out the other side so well. They sound so loving and well-adjusted, so clear in their thinking. You can see it in the photograph."

"They're even coming over to the west coast. I wonder if we could get to see them but hey, California is a big state," Annabelle said in a meditative tone of voice.

The younger woman's distracted manner made it obvious to Simone that the article was profoundly affecting her, the way she held it in her hands and she wasn't articulating a quarter of what she felt. Simone felt the same way.

"Hey, we really could get to meet them. You never know what might turn up," Simone said in an appealing tone of voice that made her sound teenage innocent. The dark haired woman laughed and nudged the side of her leg with her own. The one time Miss Bradley sounded so cute. It was only when Annabelle's thoughts started to focus on the present that the smile faded from her face.

"I don't suppose the mailbox will be overflowing with birthday cards from my folks," Annabelle said in a disconsolate tone of voice before very obviously trying to pull her spirits together."Still, I'd better check out to see if anything's waiting for me."

Simone passed her the key and let the younger woman trudge out towards the front door, a distinct slouch in her gait. Very casually, she reached for her guitar leaning against the corner and gently strummed a series of chord progressions that crossed her mind while the sunlight shone down on her. She focussed in tight on her guitar playing to distract from what might be happening outside and was pleased to be starting to fiddling around with variations on the chords and they sounded good.

Suddenly, the front door slid back and this fresh-faced woman came bursting in, clutching a bunch of envelopes in her hand and utterly transformed. Her face was glowing and her long hair streamed back behind her. She threw her arms round Simone's neck and kissed her.

"I love you, Simone. Your card is so romantic and beautiful," the younger woman said so excitedly when their lips were finally separated. The card had held nothing back in Simone's feelings as a large pink ornate heart occupied the front and, in Simone's neat writing she'd written 'To my soulmate all my love and devotion forever. Simone.'

"But that isn't everything, Simone. Just look," Annabelle added. On studying the writing on the envelope, the fair-haired woman's mental archives started getting into gear as she studied the rather cute looking card and mentally thought 'Aha' as she spotted the signature.

"To Annabelle, wishing you a very special birthday (with Miss Bradley). You and Simone have always been so kind to me and you look right together. Regards. Colins.".

A glorious, tender smile spread across the faces of both women. The card wasn't anything special in itself but both women couldn't believe that the very nervous Colins had tracked down their address and sent them this very special birthday card. They grasped immediately that this was her kind-hearted way of accepting them as a couple. Their spirits to hold this card in their hands after their run of unpleasant encounters with the hot dog salesman, Catherine and finally Senator Tillman.

"She's such a diffident being, wrestling with her own demons that it's so sweet of her to think of someone else apart from her own problems,"Simone said dreamily.

"Which means we'll have one friend when we go to the graduation," Annabelle pronounced in decisive tones. Simone perked up considerably at the thought which hadn't crossed her mind.

"So what other junk mail have we?"she asked softly

"Oh, just the usual junk mail,"Annabelle grinned happily in response as she laid the

opened envelopes on the duvet. "Oh, I forgot, a birthday card from my parents."

On first sight, the card was tasteful until Simone inspected it and a certain blankness of expression came to mind. Inside there was florid script written by the manufacturer which was airily empty expression of standardised feeling directed towards an idealised daughter. The personal inscription was brief and to the point.

"It's not very personal," observed Simone.

"You've said it," the other woman said in cryptic tones.

"You don't put your hair up any more like you used to do at St Theresa's," observed Annabelle after they'd got up and were drinking a morning cup of coffee."Don't get me wrong, I like the way you let it hang free."

"So do I," Simone said with absolutely no barriers in her mind between thoughts and words."So why did I used to do it? I felt my hair would fly all over the place being naturally curly. A bun would keep everything in its place, all in control. Believe me when I say it but I never thought I was following in Mother Immaculata's footsteps. That's what mind control does to you. You never see the chains that bind you."

"So you reckon you've got to where you want in life?"questioned Annabelle with a lifted eyebrow.

"Yes," Simone said, lightly laughing, her eyes dancing."I once had a discussion with Father Harris about it. I told him that I had no direction in my life when I thought I'd have life figured out. He advised me that maybe the best thing is to not try and figure it all out."

"Smart guy," commented the dark-haired woman approvingly."I guess he's saying that you should be open to experience life as it comes to you."

"That's about it," Simone said slowly and thoughtfully, still wondering if she and Annabelle would get to meet Nikki and Helen best by accident or by making plans. She wasn't sure enough of herself to place her faith in blind chance so she would sooner cover both options. The expression on her face was dreamy and abstracted until a thought popped into her mind. "In that case, we'll head over to the bank to open a joint account."

Annabelle blinked. It was her job to suddenly make crazy shifts in the conversation.


	24. Chapter 24

Nikki and Helen's last taste of England was the lowering black clouds overhead and the way a fierce gust of cold wind blew Helen's fold-up umbrella inside out as they pushed their luggage to the check-in at Heathrow Airport.

"Shit," Helen swore loudly as she parked her suitcase upright and stopped to pull the umbrella down. The wind blew a lock of hair into her face and spattered her skin with icy cold raindrops as she glared at the elements."I only packed our umbrellas as you nagged us into packing them."

Nikki grinned cheerfully at her partner's discomfiture. Mind you, she was going to live the holiday of her dreams in flying out to San Francisco and sampling the whole west coast scene. Thinking back over her life, she'd had a bumpy ride of it, often when she had least expected trouble. She had lived her adult life in London after she'd been expelled from boarding school for 'lesbian activities' and been rejected by her family. That had toughened up her capacity for facing rejection head on and determined her to slave away at any crummy job she could lay her hands on. Only when she'd set up her lesbian club 'Chix' with Trisha did she amass some decent money though one of life's ironies was that they never really had the time to spend the money they'd accumulated over the years. The tumultuous events of just one night of a certain sick minded creepy policeman being in the wrong place at the wrong time had changed all that and Nikki was faced with coming to a screeching halt in her comfortable and hectic lifestyle. She'd been first locked up in a police cell, firstly by obvious mates of the misogynist bastard she'd taken out with a broken bottle. After that, some smarmy judge pontificating like some Victorian male archetype had sentenced her to be imprisoned and subject to the arbitrary order of a load of screws with funny badges of rank on their sleeves and the moral uprightness of Mafia gangsters. Only once had she ever verbalised her dream when Helen had prevented her wild idea of going on the run after kissing and making up at Helen's flat after a bust-up. She remembered saying once to Barbara before she'd realigned her thinking _'_ Christ! I could have been been swanning around San Francisco right now.' She'd buried that daydream, straightened out her thinking and let that charismatic Scot with her straight nose, soft lips and steely gaze move heaven and earth to get her sprung out of prison. She'd moved into her lover's bed, her flat, her life and called it all theirs so both had found their new role in life. Working for Women In Prison had been a niche made for them both to drop into and everything had taken off from there. After two years getting established, her old daydream had re-emerged into her surface thinking.

"You don't really mind us clearing off for a couple of weeks holiday?" Nikki had asked anxiously of the founder of the organisation for whom both she and Helen had huge respect. They had been sitting in the unpretentious office that had made Helen's old office in Larkhall look positively palatial by comparison. This was one reason why both women liked working here as the organisation worked very much by force of personal example, the only organisational morality that Nikki ever respected.

"You go and get yourselves emotionally recharged for when you return. This organisation owes you a lot for handling that Diva interview so well. I'm really pleased that you're handling the social evening on the west coast."

"I'm only worried if I'm going to be asked to recount my heroic exploits," Nikki murmured with an embarrassed look on her face. This drew a laugh in response as Nikki's modesty was well known.

"Go on, you'll enjoy it. Neither of you are indispensable. You'll both wear yourself into the ground if you don't take a break," came the affectionate reply. The two women thought as one and profusely thanked their boss in ways that came instinctively to them.

Thus it was that the two women wheeled their luggage in through the automatic doors into the antiseptic, perfect world of airport land and spotted just where to check in. Helen had the wad of documentation clutched in her hand that she'd slid out of her handbag and got them out ready to present at the checkout with her usual beaming smile. Once again, Nikki felt that tinge of pride as she that she was carrying an authentic passport which would let her travel as freely as any other citizen without hindrance. Helen intercepted the faint flush of pleasure on Nikki's cheeks and knew what her partner was thinking. At the weigh-in, Nikki breathed a sigh of relief, not that she was going to be arraigned by mysterious men in uniforms bursting from out of nowhere but for a much simpler, prosaic reason.

"Thank God my case has clocked under the limit even with the books I took,"Nikki said with heartfelt relief.

"It's nor for the want of trying," retorted Helen.

"Yes, well, I can't bear to leave some of my books behind. You know I'm lousy in making choices,"Nikki replied wryly.

"Where Nikki and her book collection have been joined together in holy matrimony, let no one put asunder," Helen declaimed loudly with a mischievous grin.

Soon enough, they went through the transition to finally finding themselves seated in the row of seats in the large airliner that would transport them halfway across the world. They weren't looking forward to the prospect of coming off the other end, totally jet-lagged and reliant on in-flight meals and the drinks trolley. They were most relieved that their portable CD players hadn't been grabbed by some heavy handed customs guy as terrorist apparatus so they were pleased that their hand luggage included a selection of CDs and books to while away the long flight. Finally, the aircraft bumped its way along the tarmac accompanied by the blasting power of jet engined until they cranked up their power and propelled them into the sky with a gigantic whoosh and a tug to their stomachs. Thanks to Nikki's subtle propaganda over the years, images of the sunny climes of California on films had been imprinted on their minds and now at last they were airborne and they would encounter the reality.

"Have you got a copy of Diva with you?"asked Helen in a coy manner that drew a knowing smile from Nikki. It was already several hours into the flight from checking by her watch and they were suspended mysteriously in space inside this large metal tube while the monotonous sounds of the jet engines made their presence felt everywhere in the aircraft.

"We're just working women, darling. We might be front page for a month but the magazine isn't mainstream media. I know we're not stars and I wouldn't want to be,"Nikki said in dry easy tones.

"That's not what I mean. All I'm aware of is gabbling away to that nice journalist and the photographer and carefully adjusting my right hand and smile for the photographer that I have absolutely no idea if we turned out right."

Nikki murmured 'sorry darling', kissed her partner's cheek and reached inside her holdall and passed the magazine to her partner. Helen positioned the magazine on the armrests that divided their space so that both of them could read it while the large aircraft sped them through the sky. It was already six o clock Nikki slyly noticed the way Helen was pleased at the way they turned out in the photograph but gave her credit for flipping the pages to get onto the article. Helen read the article intently before sighing with satisfaction that the article really did do justice to them.

"Nikki, I am so glad that what we said made actual sense. I really felt my tongue was running away with me right at the end,"Helen rattled out which made her partner smile at the memory. As always, each of them was there for each other and had thoroughly internalised the other's separate experiences as they'd talked about their past.

"Christ, the article makes us out as bloody heroines. Still I shouldn't knock it. If our boss is happy in us waving the flag a bit and taking on the 'hang them and flog them brigade', then I'm happy that our love life gets a bit of an airing."

Helen pressed Nikki's hand as these words encapsulated all the fascinating quirks of Nikki's personality. Pretty soon, after they'd eaten their in flight meal, they noticed how the sky was still light outside when theoretically speaking, the night should have been drawing in. Both women were starting to feel tired and, as far was possible, they turned into each other and their eyelids started drooping as tiredness overcame them...

…...Nikki was dressed in jeans, trainers and a white shirt, much creased. She was conscious that the quirks of the laundry room only provided the opportunity to wash her much worn clothes at most. She was feeling tense as she always did, feeling that she needed to have eyes in the back of her head to deal with traitors who might stab her in the back, metaphorically or in reality. Once again, she saw the hated black and white uniforms which served to dehumanise their wearers as she waged her daily struggle only to give the minimum ground in what they could tell her to do. The institutional regime of the eye to the keyhole, being woken up and herded to her early morning shower and then to the same institutionally prepared regime of bacon and egg for breakfast and pie and chips for lunch and that time in the day when she could take care of her garden. Only the slim shape of Miss Stewart, wearing her blue suit, white shirt and dazzling smile stood out clear and sharp in the dull haze of the building she was locked up in. That smile was surely destined for her yet she could not walk up to her, kiss her on her lips and call her 'darling.' She could not even call her 'Helen' and that was the crime of all crimes. Only Helen and her possessed that secret and they had to play it cool in case the supercilious hateful eye of their enemy, Principal Officer Fenner would use it to bring down Helen's downfall. Above all else, Nikki has listened with sorrow to Helen's please that as she was her jailor, she could not compromise her position. Part of it accepted what Helen said and the other emotional side of her angrily rejected what she was saying. It hurt her so much that she and Helen were emotionally as one yet they were separated by rules and regulations that labelled her as a con and Helen as a Wing Governor. A sense of yearning never really left her. She would do anything to make Helen's life easier as she could see that Helen was under pressure from things that had gone wrong that were sure to be used against her. She could see the stress lines in her face, the way she ran her left hand through the lock of brown hair that hung over her eyes. What scared her was there was no end to this living hell except for the faint hope that her appeal would set her free. All she knew were the harsh artificial lights above her and the tightly shut bolts and bars...

"What's happened," Nikki suddenly said as she suddenly jerked awake."Where are we."

"Sweetheart," chuckled that well known voice in her ear. The word sounded like magic and calmed her jumpy nerves as she felt her partner's hand on her arm."We are flying at twenty thousand feet over the Atlantic and shortly coming in to Kennedy Airport to refuel."

"Thank God. That's good news," mumbled Nikki, still half present in the living nightmare that was Larkhall Prison."I can live with that."

"You mean you're really up for some cheesy in-flight movie with lousy acoustics?" laughed Helen incredulously.

"Better that than what's been going on in my head while I've been asleep. I was dreaming we were back in Larkhall. It was an averagely horrible day,no bang ups or DST strip searches."

"Poor you," Helen answered her voice melting with compassion. She squeezed Nikki's hand, figuring out that a minor public display of affection would not be noticed by a zonked out group of passengers.

In the meantime, the invisible wires of communication were busy as internet sites picked up the electronic image of the Diva magazine, preserved as an image document. It had everything that appealed to both romantic imagination and political drive and all shades of opinion in between. To the website owners, the two women were irresistibly gorgeous and their public utterances had that stylish mixture of intelligence and wit. This was the electronic age which challenged the tyranny of the corporate glossy magazine and the website owners saw themselves as the pioneers of a revolutionary form of communication which gave access to ordinary lesbians sitting in front of the computer screen to post their thoughts on the subject. It traversed physical obstacles to communication, overcame the prevalent syndrome of the lonely crowd, rootless urban living and the problem of seeking out like minded people on a city street or in some nameless bar, wrapped everyone all around and fused them into one self sufficient electronic universe. While Nikki and Helen's account of their life was taken up into this accepting world, this discourse took flight across the vastness of the Atlantic Ocean and those inquisitive souls who were eager to embrace the other side of the English speaking culture and their interest was sparked. Thus it was that bolder spirits came to contact Nikki and Helen's boss and asked if they would do them a favour in being invited over to their favourite hang out spot, to chat, hold forth and generally socialise. This was put to Nikki and Helen and the whole 'hang loose' way in which it was phrased appealed to them and assuaged Nikki's work ethic.

Finally, their aircraft came down from the heights having crawled across the endless map of the Mid West States to come down to earth and screech to a halt on the tarmac so that both women were processed through the same identikit aircraft lounge they'd arrived in.

"Hey, they're all talking in American accents,"Helen said in an innocent tone of voice. Nikki laughed out loud as she clung onto the smaller woman's arm. Together they rode the endless horizontal walkway that took them in a gentle glide to customs and to check in for their luggage. After the inevitable time taken to retrieve their belongings, they arrived dazedly out into the brilliant blue sunshine and the gentle warmth of the new country they had joined. Despite the jet lag that was starting to set in,their spirits lifted through the mental fog when they recalled the squally wintry weather they had left a lifetime ago and they knew that this would be only the start of a succession of drastic changes in store for them before they acclimatised themselves to new surroundings. They hailed a taxi and the suntanned youth wearing a baseball cap and vivid T-shirt casually manhandled their luggage into the boot of this impossibly wide and low slung car with the funny steering position on the left-hand side of the road. Helen gave the address and the car wheeled and turned its way along the sleek streets with roadside drive-ins. Finally, they checked into their hotel and both women had to pull themselves together to give details to the hotel receptionist.

"Hey look at those palm trees," exclaimed a wide-eyed Nikki, her keen eye for botany kicking into gear."I never realised the climate and the vegetation would be sub-tropical. This is totally amazing."

"What did you expect darling?" laughed Helen, mischievously getting her own back."A country like Britain only they drive on the other side of the road and have Greyhound busses instead of red London double deckers?"

It was only when they arrived at the tenth floor hotel room when they collapsed on their snow white covered soft bed. Their suitcases lay in the hall and in a drawer lay an old folded up copy of the Los Angeles Tribune just waiting to be found.


	25. Chapter 25

Simone was dressed in her favourite businesslike white shirt and black trousers as she rifled through her drawer for all her bank details. Annabelle quietly fetched her own ID details and moved away, not wanting to crowd her partner and half wishing she had a similar outfit but reckoned that her short white, slightly patterned dress fitted the bill

"I've got everything I want. I wanted ,"she beamed as she straightened herself up. A thoughtful expression started to spread across her face and she put her fingers to her lips.

"Have you got a bank account already?" she asked.

"I've got a school account but, guess what, my mother is co signatory so she controls what I spend,"Annabelle answered in hard cynical tones, her face clouded."When I bought my boots and denim jacket, I sneaked those under her radar. She bought my guitar only because one of her important friends said an acoustic guitar was 'culturally uplifting' and nothing to do with noisy shit rock and roll. It meant she could find something about me she could brag about seeing as I've been such a let down all my life."

"Well, we're going to get out there and prove her wrong," Simone answered in determined tones."And my parents too. They're no better."

The younger woman's face transformed itself with a brilliant sweet smile and her grey eyes caught the sun. Her mood had utterly changed, something that Simone had become relaxed about negotiating their contours. She gave Simone a quick kiss on her lips, picked up the car keys and led the way out.

Once again, they were speeding off around to another part of town, and Simone quietly gave her directions to link into the parts of the neighbourhood that Annabelle had absorbed as a map into her memory. It gave her pleasure to feel centred into a small area of California that she could relate to and be rooted in. Simone lay back, as the wind ruffled her hair and fondly looking at her lover as the sensation of driving them around made her feel good about herself. She pointed out the bank on the last block on the right but one as they drove slowly down the street, set out in a perfect grid shape. They pushed through the glass swing doors and made their way to the customer service desk right at the front, Simone taking the lead. She explained briefly the purpose and was told to sit back in an easy chair to be called forward to be interviewed. She ran an eye round the foyer, noticing that all the women were dressed in the same corporate outfit which she instinctively felt detracted from their individuality. It did not surprise her how this reaction had distanced herself from St Theresa's in a relatively short period of time.

"I'm kinda nervous about this,"confessed Annabelle sheepishly

"What, you Annabelle Tillman afraid of authority?"joked Simone, only half pretending to be wide eyed with astonishment."We're customers and not here for our private life to be judged."

The younger woman grinned as she remembered her fearsome reputation as a trouble maker at successive schools. She briefly departed from their primness of manner while awaiting judgement by briefly squeezing her lover's hand though she longed to do more to express her gratitude.

"Miss Bradley to desk 5," intoned the acceptably businesslike female voice, distorted through the tannoy experience. Simone blinked and looked round in bewilderment before the dark haired woman discreetly nudged her upon which she rocketed to her feet. She let Annabelle ease them into approaching the oval desk equipped with a purposeful computer matched by the sleek looking woman with neatly brushed long dark hair, pulled back away from her face..

"So Miss Bradley, you wish to convert your bank account into a joint bank account? I'm sure that could be done."

"Not quite," corrected Simone as she nervously fiddled with her top shirt button. No one was more conscious than her that their preference made no sense on the face of it."We wanted to leave that account as it is and open up a second account, jointly with Annabelle here."

"That's strange. Your idea isn't the obvious one I'd choose," queried the woman with upraised eyebrows, freezing Simone's blood and mental functionings. Her mouth went dry and she couldn't speak. A pause hung heavy on the air before the younger woman chipped in without thinking.

"It's just that I'm inheriting income from my father's trust fund and my parents don't like my relationship with Simone, I mean Miss Bradley. They've fixed it so the income gets paid into her solo account. We're share and share alike so we need a second account to switch the money into. That's the only reason why we're not OK with your idea," explained Annabelle in a fluent flow of words that surprised her. Simone shot her a grateful look.

"What is your full name?" the customer service assistant asked politely, switching her attention to this intelligent young woman whose quiet manner she'd not taken account of before.

"Annabelle Tillman. Here's my driver's licence,"came the taut reply, being disinclined to elaborate. Long ago, she'd vowed as a point of honour never to introduce herself as the daughter of Senator Tillman when that would have opened so many doors. When she'd met her first schoolmates on her first day at St Theresa's, she'd held out her hand to Kristen Edwards and introduced herself as plain Annabelle. It was left to the other girl to make the connection and rhapsodize how her mother was such an inspiration as potentially America's first female President. Luckily, this woman was smart enough to put two and two together.

"I have no problem with your choice. Your private arrangements are your own business so long as the bank account isn't used for criminal purposes and, aside from the usual procedural checks, I have no problem with this arrangement. I can even fix it that it gets transferred over automatically with no more than a two day time lag. As I say, your private life is really your own business."

The customer service assistant saw both women smile freely and emotionally open up before her very eyes, their nervousness revealed and her smile and the peculiar emphasis on her last words pulled back the curtain of her professional manner to reveal the real woman underneath. She was signalling to them in this clinically professional environment that she understood the nature of their relationship perfectly and she was part of the same club. She knew that her real self wasn't obvious behind the surface shield of her corporate clothing and businesslike manner.

"That's great," Simone said with palpable relief."This means a lot to us."

"Just bear with me while I go through the formalities. Annabelle, have you an existing bank account of any kind?"

"Only a school account my mother controls. There's nothing in it and it's not going anywhere. Here's a letter from the bank if it helps," the younger woman politely replied

The woman tapped away studiously on her keyboard while Simone and Annabelle allowed themselves the luxury of briefly squeezing each other's hand. Finally, she looked up with a pleasant expression on her face which was entirely personal.

"That's all fixed up, Simone and Annabelle and you'll get letters of confirmation, cheque books, paying in books and two cheque cards.

"I've also a cheque to pay into the new account," Simone said, producing the cheque written by Senator Tillman. The amount for Annabelle's eighteenth birthday looked generous enough until the sky high salaries her parents commanded were taken into account.

"That can't be done as all new accounts take a few days to be authorised and go through the system. I'm sorry but the system works that way."

"Pay it into Simone's account," cut in Annabelle decisively, seeing the look of disappointment on her partner's face and knowing her feelings on the matter. "We'll manage till the letter comes through and we can transfer the money to the new account. I'm cool with it, anyway."

Sensing relief on the face of the fair haired woman, the customer service assistant promptly processed the cheque and also handed over a wad of dollar bills for their upcoming celebration meal and sat back with a satisfied look on her face of having used her skills to help this loving couple out. She looked at the clock hanging in the spacious atrium of the building and noted with satisfaction that it was time for her lunch hour.

"Right, that's everything complete. I'm going to have my midday break in the bar round the corner. It's friendly, I promise you. Want to join me?" the customer service assistant

suggested brightly as she got out of her computer programme and switched off. The two women exchanged glances and nodded in agreement.

The three of them walked down the street, following their new friend's lead who turned the corner and strode confidently into the bar which was nothing much to look at except the atmosphere felt right even if those in the bar were unremarkable at first glance. It was lunchtime and all kinds wandered in to grab a drink and a bite to eat on their lunch-breaks. She bought them a drink each and they found themselves around a corner table. They'd hardly taken their first sip when their friend burst into animated conversation.

"There were a thousand questions I was dying to ask you back there but I couldn't with everyone watching us. I know it's only the trashy newspapers but I've read about you both. My name's Sadie."

The three women started chatting away as though they'd known each other for ages. Both Simone and Annabelle gave Sadie a quick resume of their recent experiences, including the late unlamented Michael which their friend drank in with obvious sympathy. Their obvious closeness kept away the jock student types who were hanging around on their vacation who were looking for a little action and who drifted into the bar.

"I guess you are like on your honeymoon?" Sadie asked in a way that was not intended to pry. The twin expressions of delirious joy confirmed her conjecture.

"I don't want to interfere but have you any friends left you hang out with?"

"That's just it," Simone broke in eagerly to this tentative enquiry."My life was bound up with St Theresa's and I've left my ex and his friends far behind. We're not close to both our parents and there's only one or two of Annabelle's year that we can talk to. That's the one thing we haven't got round to discussing after a week or so of sun, sea and sex."

Annabelle's face was a picture as her lover freely rattled out a frank description of their life together to a perfect stranger and Sadie grinned appreciatively.

"There's a kind of scene around here where women like us can hang out. A few of us come in here this time of day but, in the evening, it's a typical straight bar. Friday night at Chico's is where the action is. Here's the card. I'll be there for sure. There's a English lesbian couple due in that have gone through shit like you have ,"Sadie said in a breathless rush of excited words.

A jolt of electricity jolted through both women's systems. There could be one couple that fitted the bill, both thought at the risk of being egocentric. Annabelle just beat Simone in asking the question.

"Where did you hear of them? Do you know their names?"

"I think it's in some English magazine called Diva and I think they're called Helen and Nikki. Classy ladies by all account. I've got to dash now. Back to being Ms Customer Service for the next four hours and then I go home to crash out."

Sadie kissed them both briefly in the cheek and she was gone, accompanied by a clattering of high heels on the fake wood tiles. The two women looked at each other with triumphant glee.

Meanwhile, in a hotel room separated only my miles along the freeway, Nikki and Helen were undergoing the after effects of the total ruination of their body clocks and the shattered fragments of their night's sleep on the plane. They had been warned to expect the reaction and had planned to take the first full day very easy. Somehow, they staggered downstairs to enjoy their continental breakfast in the huge restaurant that seemed to stretch for miles and they reached gratefully for black coffee with sugar and bread rolls with sachets of butter and jam or marmalade, the international cuisine. Their perception and concern for how the general public saw them, never extensive, shrank down to nil and in the same cotton wool state, they tottered to the lift and went back to their bedrooms and showered together in the faint hope of refreshing themselves.

It was only in the afternoon that they sat out on the terrace and sampled a half bottle of best Californian white wine. It was now that the balmy air and bright sunshine started to make inroads on their consciousness. They looked out on the street that passed by them at an incline and the shapes of gleaming sleek metal made their beloved red Peugeot look homely and, well very English in its proportions. They knew very well that to get about, they needed an American sized hire car to explore even a fraction of the size of the single state let alone the inconceivable vastness of this country. They would get onto that and also make plans for their explorations and attend the function they'd given their good name to attend.

Nikki went to a random drawer to fish out a packet of face wipes she was sure was there and her fingers fumbled at a newspaper instead. In a moment of idle curiosity, she looked at the front page of an old copy of the Los Angeles Tribune. A picture stared out at her of an attractive blond haired woman, trapped and strained under the photographer's flashbulb glare. The peculiar intonation of the headline,"No charges to be filed in teacher student sex scandal"brought Nikki up short. There was a strange ring about it. She started to read the article further. "Unexpected last minute developments have taken place in the police investigations against Miss Simone Bradley, a teacher who had been arrested on charges of sexually assaulting an under-age pupil in her care while attending the exclusive St Theresa's Catholic High School. As a consequence Miss Bradley walks free. The headmistress of the school had originally called in the police to investigate the matter but has declined to proceed further for reasons best known to herself. When questioned on the matter, she was unavailable for comment as were Miss Bradley and the head of the Los Angeles Police Department. The pupil concerned is none other than Annabelle Tillman, the wayward daughter of Senator Tillman who had been twice expelled from previous schools for various insubordinate behaviour." Alarm bells of recognition started to ring out throughout Nikki's nervous system.


	26. Chapter 26

With their morning working out so well, the two women were in a perky mood and Annabelle verbalised the first thought that crossed her mind. It felt right to do so.

"You play me that chord progression you were playing earlier on. It sounded good."

Shyly, Simone got out her guitar and rested it on her thigh as she cast her mind back to the little melody she was working on. She stared way into the distance while Annabelle did her best to efface herself and not press at the flickering insecurities that still lurked in the depths of her lover. Presently, Simone's eyes brightened and she picked out the notes of the chords that anchored the melody before she became emboldened to embellish it with single high notes. The circle of notes danced in front of Annabelle's eyes before the melody faded away and she broke into a burst of excited applause..

"Simone, you really must, must do something with that melody you wrote. It's a crime to let it go."

"I didn't write it," Simone said in a charmingly self deprecating manner."I mean, I didn't get some sheet music and write down the quavers and tempos or whatever."

"Darling. That's exactly what song writing is all about," Annabelle replied in a voice just dripping with tenderness and laying her hands on her lover's shoulders." I mean, how did the Beatles learn to write songs? They played guitars and sang and some combination of melody and words came out of nowhere. One moment it didn't exist and the next moment, it did. That's what I try and do."

Simone remained silent for a long while, her lips slightly parted. The younger woman held back from pushing her point further as she knew that this very reflective woman was carefully weighing every syllable she had uttered, measuring it against the music that she loved and starting to get scared at the thought of stepping up to the mark and claiming her place as a songwriter. It was one thing hearing a favourite group or singer on stage and admiring their artistry but it was quite another thing to be suddenly invited up on stage to join the performance. She sat back and let Simone work through the conundrum.

"I guess I could do something with it if I had the words to go with it," she said at last in a quiet meditative fashion as her thoughts were verbalised zigzagging back and forth.."I don't think I could ever write original words. I've read too much poetry."

"Why don't you try and sing what you know best?" Annabelle answered ever so gently knowing how highly anxious her lover was. Simone nodded her head a couple of times and her eyes stared towards the far horizon while her lips mouthed silent lines she was deliberating.

"I have it Annabelle," she suddenly cried out excitedly. Her head inclined studiously as she studied her guitar, she started to pick out the melody and, briefly shutting her eyes as she started to sing. Not bad at all, Ms Bradley, the dark-haired woman thought with gentle irony at the situation as she appraised the simple, deft melody line that was conjured out of nowhere.

"I celebrate myself,  
"For everything of mine is yours

My respiration and inspiration,

the beating of my heart,

the blood and air through my lungs,  
light kisses, a few embraces, reaching around of arms,

The song of myself rising from bed

And meeting you."

"I'm really sorry, Walt Whitman. I really want to pay homage to your poetry but it kind of came out different. I can't work in the word "atom"- that just kills the song stone dead. I don't want my song to sound like a psalm ," Simone started to say at express speed as she realised that she'd been overtaken by a spirit she'd never known before. She instinctively moulded the words she knew so well to a new rhythmic conjunction of words, the physical prompt of her finger picking style and the melody she plucked out of nowhere. She remembered how often she'd declaimed the words to successive classes of seniors and she'd known by heart this even flow of words as she strolled along the lines of school desks, wrapped up in the rhythm of the words. This did not gel with the new rhythms she'd been practising for the last week or so, this new medium she'd been exploring.

"Don't worry, Simone, I love what you've created," came the gentle, laughing supportive tones from those all-knowing grey eyes from the shadows that understood her flickering thoughts."You can call it a Walt Whitman / Simone Bradley song, your very first composition. Getting the first song done is the hardest step of all."

Simone smiled shyly in the glow of her first creation in a brand new medium. She realised that she wasn't just a poetry fan but she had crossed the line without thinking to also become a musician and to think like one. New horizons in her life were opening up all the time.

Now they had money in their pockets and something to celebrate, the two women decided they deserved a little treat for themselves and going out to a restaurant was another step in terms of getting out into the wide world purely as themselves. Both women looked in their wardrobes and Simone slipped a dress into her hands and went into the living room to get dressed. Annabelle shrugged her shoulders imperturbably and was deliberating what she would wear

"Will I do? I know I've worn it before when we went to see your mother," came that beloved voice from behind Annabelle as the fair-haired woman suddenly came into view. Annabelle's mouth hung open. Simone had changed into that beautifully cut white dress of hers cut above the knee which showed off her beautiful slim legs. The makeup she'd applied had enhanced her natural beauty and she was a vision of loveliness. She'd worn it before as a prop to her respectability in facing her parents but this time around, she was wearing it as she was dressing up for her beloved.

"You're the sexiest babe I could ever hope to meet," stammered Annabelle."I can't believe that I'll be arriving at a restaurant on your arm."

"That sounds like heaven to me," Simone murmured blissfully, eying her lover's white, sleeveless low cut top and her jeans. It revealed the shapeliness of the younger woman's shoulders, her bare arms and the way her hair hung down her back. This was the way she'd envisaged Annabelle when those first feelings of desire had first seeped into her consciousness, that day she'd sat in the candle-lit chapel clutching her rosary beads.

It was nearly dark outside but a gorgeous arc of turquoise still remained being the dying gift of the sun. It was enough to light the way their shoes traced up the familiar pathway to the top of the hill. They fondly linked hands as they made their way to the car. Annabelle sighed to herself at the prospect of being driven by this gorgeous long legged beauty who took her place in the driving seat. They let the top stay down and risked the cold so that they could speed down the mysterious shadows of the night. They both thought the drive could last forever even if the chilly wind raised goose pimples as they wanted direct contact with the gathering night. They came into town as if transported on a magic carpet , and strolled down the street, arm in arm and laughing excitedly. Simone suddenly realised too late that the restaurant she most fancied was the one she'd last visited as part of a foursome with Michael, Barry and Lauren.

"What's wrong sweetheart,"Annabelle said softly. She had wondered if Simone's sudden nervousness was down to the glances they'd received from passing specimens of California's nightlife, whose moral disapproval was selective.

"Oh, it's nothing. I went here months back as part of a straight foursome," Simone said, casually differentiating herself from the woman she'd been."You remember that straight couple, Barry and Lauren who were hassling me in that bookshop?"

Annabelle put two and two together. She realised that she needed to speak to her lover's feelings, not just her words.

"Even if they weren't the assholes that they are and just regular guys, do they really have the right to spoil our meal? Can they really do it? This night is for us."

"So's every night," Simone laughed lightly, dismissing her flickering nervousness and continuing to speak in a dreamy, meditative fashion."Besides, I remember looking at two pretty woman who were intimate with each other. They got me curious when I hadn't really worked out who I was. None of the others saw them, only me. Come on, I'm ready to go in "

"That's cool. 'Cos I'm really starving. Come on, Simone,"that magically mercurial woman answered, slipping her arm through Simone's.

Together, they passed through into the womb-like interior, walking along the diamond shaped floor lighting and both women felt as if they were treading on clouds of exhaltation. The low lights of the restaurant flickered, casting a magical atmosphere and the head waiter ushered them to a cosy table for two that overlooked the view of diners out for a congenial meal. The thought occurred to both of them that they had a perfect right to pleasures that were universal. The waiter passed them a wine menu each and they quietly and quickly agreed on a bottle of house wine. Both women tuned into the sound of tinkling guitars that comprised the background music. This was perfection.

"This is so great, Annabelle," Simone said with eyes glowing with pleasure."Every date I've ever been on, I've always been with a wine expert."

"A guy you mean. Don't worry, I'm cool. You'd never treat me like shit, the same way you were," Annabelle said lightly, sensing the delicate irony with which Simone steered her way round the conversation. A wide, relaxed smile spread across the woman whose fair hair curled round her face and was so close to her across the other side of the table. She picked up her glass of wine and raised it in a toast.

"To our future together, sweetheart."

"To us and all our kind, darling," Annabelle answered, her beautifully phrased words and eyes that promised everything, clinking her glass against her lover's, knocking her out with the way she universalised their love.

The wine tasted like nectar, like the freedom they'd only recently become accustomed to. They chatted lightly to each other while time floated along until the waiter intervened with two copies of the menu.

"Oh God, this gets difficult,"Annabelle said with her delightful brand of comic dismay, her hands moving restlessly."I've been so used to eating what's in front of me that I'm really dumb at choosing what to eat."

Simone leaned over the table and softly kissed her lover's cheek, laying her hand briefly on the side of her head. It crossed her mind that she'd seen these two unknown women act like that all those months ago and this was another instance of her realising her dreams .

"Just relax Annabelle. I'll look at the menu and see what I like. You don't have to have the same as me but it might give you ideas."

Annabelle nodded her head, dumbly, grateful for the lifeline. Simone smiled gently about her partner's little foibles. She was conscious that the words that were forming on her lips were studied with rapt attention.

"Let me see, I don't fancy soup as it always fills me up but the fruit salad sounds really refreshing. I fancy fried chicken, salad and some french fries."

"I'll have the same,"Annabelle promptly said."Not because I feel I have to eat what you're eating but it feels right...I was real worried that you were going on a health kick when I still like Burger King meals sometimes."

Simone warmed to hear her partner's frank confession of her uncertainties. The rare little giggle that accompanied her words added to her indefinable charm that she didn't feel compelled to analyse to death. The waiter returned in their direction, seeing Simone indicate that they were ready to order. Annabelle took charge of their order while Simone sat back and let her get on with it. The waiter kept his surprise to himself that the older woman wasn't taking charge as he expected her to so he carried on with his professional duties with a long shift in front of him.

They chatted and sipped their way through the wine which wove its way round their senses along with the tinkling guitar music that phased it way in and out of their senses. They were both becoming slightly drunk though nothing much to speak of. The fruit salad was deliciously refreshing as the taste and the coolness slid down their throats.

"Just look at me- on a health kick after all these years. My parents would freak if they saw me eating this," laughed Annabelle lightly.

"That and everything else,"Simone said, neatly capping that last remark which made the younger woman laugh out loud

That appetiser only whetted their appetite for the main meal. When it was served, both women loved the sight of it spread out in front of them and the aroma that wafted their way. They'd had hardly anything to eat for several hours and were both definitely hungry. The meal that was set out in stages in front of them was a treat for the senses.

"Anyone else's cooking tastes better than my own," Simone said in an animated fashion as she cut slices off the succulent chicken and spiked a piece of lettuce.

"Simone, you're a great cook," the younger woman corrected her with a caressing tone in her voice."Someday, I'll catch up with you."

Their conversation tailed off as the combination of flavours got them to eat their meal heartily. At least we won't have to do the washing up, Simone thought to herself while Annabelle's twinkling eyes guessed the stray passing thought. The wine washed the meal down so comfortably and they really enjoyed this treat as the first of many occasions in the future that they'd be going out the same as any married couple whose numbers could be seen lining the tables spread out down the line. Simone reckoned that they were so comfortably prosperous that they took this pleasure for granted in their suburban boredom. She and her lover could never forget where they had come from, that they were sure of.

As Annabelle was eating the last of her dinner, she could see her lover's eyes glowing out of the near darkness and her luminous smile and she could feel soft skin stroking the side of her ankle. A long slow grin spread across her face. This must be Simone playing 'footsie' with her under the table, certainly judging by the expression on her face. They had been living through this warm, comforting envelope of sensations, thanks to low lights, tinkling music, good food inside them, a nice mellow feeling of comfortably spending a bit of money on themselves, the taste of good food and, above all, the presence of the most precious person in the world up so close. Throughout the evening, both women were glowing inside and now the naughtiness of this bit of foreplay out in public caused a rush of desires inside them.

"Want to have an ice cream and coffee to finish up with or shall we ask for the check?"asked Simone, smiling sweetly.

"Suddenly, I'm kind of not hungry, not that way," Annabelle answered, a wealth of sexual innuendo edging her voice.

"Just what I thought," came the answer as the only regret both women felt was that they would have to restrain their hormones on the drive back home. Visions of their bed and of each other tantalisingly awaited their presence.


	27. Chapter 27

Something told Simone's confused senses as half an eye peeped open that it was late in the morning but she couldn't honestly focus her eyes upon the digital shaped clock which she could normally pick out. Instead, she could sense both the feel and faint perfume of the presence of the most precious creature lying in front of her. Her own free arm curled round to encompassed Annabelle whose fingers gently held her own even in her sleep. Her mass of brown hair streamed down onto the pillow so that meant that definitely everything in her world was complete. She sighed contentedly to herself and felt delicious. She could hear Annabelle's soft faint even breath of contentment while her lips rested against that smooth shapely shoulder. She couldn't resist bestowing a 'first thing in the morning' softest possible kiss.

While Simone lay there, her eyelids drooped down, letting sunbeams create crazy dance patterns in front of her. Part of her felt incredibly languid and wanted to let the chill out feeling of the morning last forever but another side of her toyed with the idea that there might be more to life just happily doing nothing. Her only concern was that Annabelle was still asleep and for some while her sense of consideration was in a tug of war with burgeoning impulses coming to life.

Finally, she could resist that nagging temptation no longer as a teasing image in her mind gave her no release. She gently disengaged her fingers from Annabelle's and she curled her hand round so that her fingers could delicately feel their way up the younger woman's flat stomach and finally her breasts. With a sigh of satisfaction, her nimble fingertips found her lover's nipples and started to tease and caress them. At that moment, the younger woman's formless free-floating dreams started to shift tone and colour and definite sensations of pleasure started to seep through her unconscious until her eyelids opened and she knew that her body was starting to move to the delightful rhythms that her lover was inducing in her. She turned her face around only for Simone to start the pattern of kisses that would grow longer and deeper.

"You really can't get enough of me,"Annabelle laughed gently when her mouth was free.

"Don't I just?"came that endearingly soft tone of voice that promised so much.

"It's funny. Every time we wake up, I feel you cuddling me from behind. Don't get me wrong. It makes me feel so good,"Simone said, finishing her words with a lazy, self-satisfied laugh as they lay together, the duvet half hanging off the bed and their bodies delightfully intermingled..

"Guess we both move around in the night when we're asleep," Annabelle started to say evasively till she felt those blue eyes with that tranquil, all knowing gaze fall on her, prompting her to break off with an impatient gesture.

"You know I don't ever want to wake up being alone. Those weeks after you were arrested were living hell. I guess my unconscious gets me to hold onto you."

"And now?"

"My unconscious doesn't tell me too much of what's going on in my mind," joked the younger woman."All the same I trust it. I was always one for following the inner voice rather than meekly accepting what authority people told me."

Simone nodded her head eagerly, her face breaking out into a big smile. She'd been such an authority however much she had operated sincerely and humanely. Now she was free from that position and had come round full circle to when she'd been a rebellious teenager herself.

"You don't mind someone else taking the photograph?" queried Annabelle, a frown of doubt on her mind as they talked over breakfast.."You take really good photographs. I used to talk to you about changing your career and I really meant it. I guess we've got sidetracked with music and stuff."

It wasn't just what the younger woman was saying but the way she said them that told Simone that there was a considerable amount of self-doubt and uncertainty being expressed in her sweet and appealing fashion. She softly kissed the dark-haired woman and embraced her.

"Darling, I really love playing music with you. You've taught me something really precious I want to follow...wherever it takes us."

An indefinable expression spread over Annabelle's features and into her eyes, something far-seeing as she started to ponder this striking suggestion. They'd focussed so tightly in getting both of them to work as an acoustic duo and the way Simone had come on by leaps and strides in so short a period of time had made her overlook the horizons that started to open up. Aside from her long ago musical efforts when she was a teenager, she must have had some dormant gift within her that only required tapping into. Her mind started to dream of if only it were possible.

"I know I take good photographs and painting them but I'd have to go to college or something to take it further...I don't know...I need professional qualifications for anyone to look at my work," Simone said as her voice tailed off, her thoughts becoming confused.

"Was that why you didn't buy my ideas of you having a career change?" pursued Annabelle. This question had been at the back of her mind ever since they'd talked about this when she'd stayed over during her spring break all those months ago when they were gradually evolving into the two women who stood in today's shoes. Simone smiled and nodded. It was obvious that this very perceptive woman of hers wasn't going to give up on the idea. Neither did she as she knew that it was a matter of circumstances being right.

"How did you ever get those photos I took of you over the spring break?" Simone said in a distracted fashion as the thought suddenly bubbled to the surface, unbidden. Annabelle

had shown them to her very early after she'd moved in but somehow or other they'd been so busy exploring each other's worlds that they'd been overlooked.

Annabelle placed her fingers against her lips as she thought for a while. She'd rapidly packed all her belongings to establish this beach house as part of her home and she'd got half an idea she'd tidied the photo away and shoved a pile of papers into a spare drawer.

"I went into your bedroom at St Theresa's after you got busted and saw them out on your sideboard. I know where I put them."

With great rapidity, she went to the drawer under the bookcase and shuffled through the papers. She knew she hadn't put them in the normal places in the joyous moment that she put away all her belongings to share Simone's space who was lovingly letting her inside that precious area of herself. There in front of her eyes were pictures of her with a glorious wide smile on her face and twinkling eyes. They roused feelings of almost unbearable intensity within her as, for a second, she'd been afraid she'd lost them. She didn't know whether to smile or cry as she stared deep within this image of herself.

"Hey, I know how you feel. I feel the same way myself. We'll see if we can get them framed," came that incredibly soothing voice with the gentle tough of her hand caressing her shoulders. That did make her cry and Simone folded the woman into herself to let her cry safely.

Once again, they were out on the road, driving to the photographic studio that Simone's researches on her laptop had tracked down. The fair haired woman grinned sideways at her partner as she relaxed into her seat and her driving, looking the personification of confidence.

"Hey, what's on the radio?" Annabelle asked, offering her a sunny smile to match their moods. Obligingly, Simone clicked the button and, by chance, the right kind of honey coated music played that west coast feel. They had got to the point where they could enjoy a companionable silence, letting random music flow over them while the wing whipped at the locks of their hair. They loved the feel of speeding down the coast road and plunging through the tree sheltered country road heading for town.

Sure enough, they walked up to the discreet sign "Lawson and Winters Photographers," advertising the studio right by a real estate business in an old fashioned block of houses and they liked the look and feel of it. It wasn't flash and garish but gave the impression that only craftsmen worked here. As they opened the door, a flight of weathered looking wooden steps, worn slightly by the tramp of many feet up and down the staircase. A dim light from a top floor window suggested mystical shape and form to the world they were entering and it shut out the sounds of the busy vibrant sounds of the street they'd just left behind them.

"Say, how did you figure out to pick this studio? It feels kind of old fashioned," Annabelle said in a hushed voice. These surroundings toned down her natural exuberance but the vibrations weren't unfriendly as much as different.

"There aren't many places I could find on the net so I took a chance. It'd be nice if it's gay friendly but we're customers anyway."

As Simone took the younger woman by the hand and led them upstairs, she was starting to have doubts as to how they would be treated but went along with her lover's lead. She already started to picture some middle-aged reclusive guy who was at home in this atmosphere which felt removed from daily life. It didn't feel very rock and roll to her. They pushed through the door whose paintwork looked as if it had seen many winters over the years and an old-fashioned bell tinkled as they pushed open the door. To their surprise, a young fresh faced blonde woman with sleekly brushed long hair greeted them with a dazzling smile. The contrast between their expectations and reality forcibly struck both women and both were momentarily tongue-tied. Fortunately, this stranger came to their rescue.

"We do a range of portraiture from traditional family photographs, babies and children or if you want stylish photographs for a specialised market, we're the place for you. We're really proud of our versatility. My name's Alison Winters. "

The last word vibrated inside both women's consciousness like an expertly struck tuning fork as she extended her hand from the other side of the counter and shook Simone's hand.. It was exactly what they wanted to hear and they hoped for the best that the photographer guy would be equally responsive to their needs. The sharp-eared younger woman registered the obvious conclusion that this woman was no gofer. They looked at each other before Annabelle took the lead.

"You guys sound exactly what we need. Versatile sounds right to us. We want a set of photographs taken of both of us," she said, not daring to think of the possible consequences which loomed large in her consciousness and Simone's nervousness was written all over her face.

"Let's get down to specifics as I don't want to make any false assumptions,"Alison said in her brisk tones which were reassuringly businesslike."Just who is going to be in the picture?"

"Just us,"Simone said shortly. The other woman briefly let slip the smile she'd been feeling as soon as these two women crossed her threshold and instantly pegged them. They looked really good together without really trying.

"We need to know what sort of portraiture you want? Do you want a mixture of individual shots and a group shot to finish? Do you want a conventional room interior look or something a bit different, less formal?"

The series of questions took both women back. Simone's own handiwork in that area was to point and click on inspiration so that she wasn't prepared for this. She assumed that the photographer would just let it happen but she'd clearly guessed wrong.

"Have you got a brochure of your work?" Annabelle asked in her most outwardly self-possessed fashion though she was highly aware of how perilously she was winging it."Perhaps your partner might help out?"

"I take the photographs and handle customer service. I'll try and get Vanessa out of her dark room for her input," Alison said, smiling slightly as she laughed."A lifetime of standing over proofs and fixing flaws doesn't make her sociable but she'll come for the right cause."

The mental picture of an untidy middle aged man with peering eyes and the look of a dedicated scientist was blown away, firstly by Alison's words and secondly, by the tall, lean woman with dark hair, tied back and handsome features who strode forward out of the side-room to offer a firm handshake to both women. Instantly, both women knew what they wanted as Vanessa brought out a brochure and the picture set against a romantic, rustic background leapt out at them in high definition while other photographs faded away into the background as they flipped over the plastic, loose fit pages with photographs neatly contained by a thin film of protective polythene. They allowed themselves to slip a free hand into the other as they surveyed all the possibilities. They came to the family oriented photographs and they flipped over the pages at a faster rate.

"We definitely like this landscape view. It's giving us ideas on how we want to look like," Annabelle said, a satisfied smile starting to spread across her face. She knew that these two women felt interest in their project beyond professional courtesies.

"We thought so. It's very popular with the ladies who come here. Your white dresses will be ideal," Alison said in an insouciant way of talking that inched their boldness right over the parapet. Instantly, a collective breath of relief was exhaled. They all knew where they stood with each other.

" By the way, I'm Annabelle and my lover here is Simone," the dark-haired woman said, finally clinching their collective understanding of each other.

A little while later, they were ensconced in the setting that was artfully laid out and Vanessa reached for the Victorian vase to add the finishing touch while Alison checked the settings on the camera. The backdrop was an artfully printed image of woodland greenery against which thee two women's white dresses made a striking contrast. Both women's senses were pictorially attuned to its symbolism and liked the feel of how these two women instinctively worked around each other.

"Are we wearing the right clothes?"Simone asked nervously before going into frank confession mode."We just threw on our favourite outfits. They felt right."

"Stay as you are," Alison said in really positive tones." Simone, I really like that lacy white dress and Annabelle, that V neck with the tracery on the V will suit me perfectly. This will really make you look like the all time Sapphic couple when I've made one or two adjustments. You agree, dearest?"

"Just give me the negatives and I'll make it right. Don't rush me though as I'm not a goddamn slot machine," Vanessa said with mock sternness. The others knew that it was only her way of promising that she'd really try hard and make it work for them.

"Right, can you get settled down," directed Vanessa firmly, showing that where her own discipline was concerned, she was going to exercise due control.."You're going to place yourselves in my hands, sororially speaking so I'll boss you both around to make any little moves I think fit."

Both women instantly felt good as they knew that there was no obstacle to them being delicately wrapped around each other even while they both faced the camera. That tactile feel made it easier to make minor adjustments to their posture, to the way they slightly leaned heads towards each other and the position of their arms. Vanessa grabbed a hairbrush and, under her partner's direction, ran it through their hair one more time. Finally, they attained a posture which satisfied Alison's strict demands on them and on herself and they held it rigid while she sought to conjure up the expressions out of nowhere. She dispensed with the time honoured 'say cheese' and finally blasted off with her flash, a series of photographs from her camera on its fixed location. Beneath Alison's professional manner, feelings of delight in her purpose welled up inside of her and she knew she wasn't wasn't done yet. These two adorable women deserved better than this , she vowed and she grabbed her portable camera and moved forward to click off two more pictures.

"You can take it easy now," Alison said in warm comfortable tones."Beneath this disciplinarian exterior, I believe in a little spontaneity from time to time," she joked.

"As my partner has now finished the roll she was on, both physical and psychic," interjected Vanessa in dry tones, making Simone and Annabelle grin appreciatively at their easy cross talk."She'll even let me touch her camera which is big-time concession so I can run off prints for you to give you an idea of what you're getting with the polished product . As for her body, that goes with our territory."

As they waited for Vanessa to work her photographic magic, the three women indulged in light badinage which wove them into the beginnings of a new friendship.

"We're kind of new to the lesbian scene. We're like newly-weds," Simone said a little breathlessly which prompted an unashamedly loving gaze from her partner who clutched onto her hand."We want to extend our circle of friends which is like zero."

"A friendly bank clerk called Sadie who gave us an invitation to go to a place called Chico's this Friday. Here's the card she gave us," Annabelle said eagerly, fishing around for the zip- up compartment inside her holdall."There's this English couple who we've read about her who we really want to meet. We won't get another chance."

"We'll be there. We're regulars," Alison said, a warm feeling of pleasure stealing over her as this told her that their friendship would continue."It'll be a great night."

Finally, Vanessa emerged from her inner sanctum and placed the still damp proofs onto the back of the counter. Both women oohed and aahed with touching pleasure at the wondrous image of their love. They looked as if they'd been transplanted into a classical framework and their love had existed since time immemorial which was precisely the effect Alison had aimed at.

"I'm throwing them in for free," she said carelessly,following Vanessa's nod. Both women knew that this strong-minded woman didn't lightly give her handiwork away lightly even if this was basic stuff to her."You'll love the studio shots, I guarantee it."

Both women stumbled to express their undying appreciation with words that felt like cliché, an embarrassing situation for two budding songwriters and literary experts. Simone struggled with an extra burden for an additional request. She knew that if she panicked and lost her nerve, she'd never hold up her head again.

"Oh before I forget. I've got some photos I took of Annabelle once. I'm sure they won't be up to your standard. I don't suppose you can frame them if I pay extra," Simone said in a flustered fashion, reaching inside her partner's holdall.

"I've got some spare frames in the back of the studio. If you want to wait, I've got just enough time to frame all the pictures here before my next customer," Alison said.

She examined them with immediate interest. They were taken on the slant and were blasted off on the beach somewhere with no obvious preparation but they grabbed her interest in its raw, simple technique. This woman's knack in capturing her lover's artless smile had something.

Miles away, in San Francisco, Helen and Nikki's feet were pacing the streets of a city that was legendary to them both. The area they'd found themselves in was as gay friendly as they'd dreamed of. Helen smiled as Nikki's glittering eyes spotted specialist bookshops that eclipsed the islands of enlightenment she'd found in London and pretended to tolerantly endure her partner's enthusiasm. She laughed at herself when she realised that, after all, she'd encouraged Nikki to take up her English degree through the Open University that operated at Larkhall Prison. She knew that Nikki could be lured to clothes stores and that she needed to renew her makeup. This would set them up just nicely for the social event this Friday which piqued both women's curiosity and interest.

Meanwhile, the sun shone down on their freedom and the countless exotic sights of the new world of theirs. .


	28. Chapter 28

Wednesday dawned and smiled on the pictures that had been lovingly arranged the previous night on the bedside table. Centre stage were two portraits of the two women which emanated a special glow even through the celluloid medium. Their formal elegance fused beautifully with loving feelings shown by Simone's right hand interlocked with Annabelle's left hand, the suggestion of their heads leaning towards each other and the gravity of the arranged scene giving way to open smiles of pleasure. On either side were Simone's two candid snaps of Annabelle which captured her freely expressed smile of open pleasure at the beauties of the spring holiday break. Only late last night did they have time to look closely at the pictures since they'd gone to the outfitters to hire Annabelle's cap, gown and sash.

"It's unusual for St Theresa's to place this last minute order," the elderly woman has said in her throaty voice, her clothes and hairstyle in a manner that harked back to the certainties of Eisenhower's America. She had peered short-sightedly at two customers who arrived, rather out of breath and windswept. A vague expression of recognition had spread across her face as she had recognised the young schoolmistress who had been occasionally deputised to sort out last minute hitches in the normal graduation arrangements.

"I'm really sorry, Miss Harkness," Simone apologised with an apologetic smile on her face."It's a last minute order so I thought I'd come down specially with Miss Tillman to reassure her and her folks that everything will be all right."

"There's always a last minute hitch so as it happens, you're in luck. I'm down to my last two outfits. I know you'll return them when you're done ," the elderly woman replied, taking pity on the hapless teacher who was landed with this unwelcome errand. The teacher took the graduate of St Theresa's into a plain box-room with a mirror at one end and the young woman had become clearly excited by her outfit. Miss Harkness wrapped it up and stopped the teacher from rushing off without a receipt for cash paid as she would obviously have to square it with the school. The old-fashioned bell tinkled and they were gone.

"Hey, I remember that," exclaimed Simone as Annabelle rifled restlessly through her part of the wardrobe and revealed a portion of an eye catching short red dress in a tastefully designed oriental print."You wore it at the and of year dance. It's beautiful."

Annabelle pulled a face and, before she could speak, Simone's thoughts were there first. Of course, she'd worn it with her hair put up with complementing chopsticks and her typical tube socks and brown boots but she'd first laid sight of Simone in her classic white dress but something had been horribly wrong. She was slow dancing with Michael and smiling at him even if the expression was tacked on and her heart was crying. She knew that Annabelle was not to know at that moment and that image wasn't easily expunged.

"You know I haven't got good memories of that dress. Sure it's pretty but you know we've got enough shit to deal with at the graduation ceremony."

"Darling, you know how the start of that evening was fucked. I've got more happy memories of that red slip but you know even we can't get away with you wearing that."

Annabelle started to laugh at her lover's honesty and humour delivered with inimitable style. It was an irresistible combination.

"If I can feel right about it, I'll do it but I don't ignore my instincts. I know that much about myself," Annabelle said with that direct, intense look of hers that was very persuasive, emotionally and intellectually.

"I'm not pushing it. It's your decision. Just remember it's not Michael's dress but yours. Let's make of it as it should be and exorcise all evil spirits."

The younger woman collapsed into a helpless fit of the giggles at Simone's droll humour. As she clung onto Simone while she shook with laughter, she tenderly wondered how this remarkable woman got her flights of fancy from. It did the trick of treading right across that evil memory and obliterating it. She raised her head from Simone's chest and kissed her warmly and thankfully.

"That does it, I'm wearing it. Better leave out the chopsticks as my hat won't balance right on it."Simone grinned at yet another little victory won between them.

"Companion, hey? I know we'll have to take a step backwards but that word sucks," Annabelle said disconsolately as Simone broke it to her how Father Harris had advised them on how Simone was to present herself. They'd grown so used to being friends, lovers and soul-mates with no trace of any barriers and inequalities between them that it grated on her to be viewed in that way.

"Come on, Annabelle. This is only for a day. We have to talk over what we're letting ourselves in for. The seniors I taught will still see me as Miss Bradley though they'd have heard what went down. Mother Immaculata will loathe the sight of us, me more than you as a brazen perverted woman who only beat the rap as she got scared of the press . As for Sister Claire and the other dorm heads, I just don't know. Their parents will have read the press but nobody will want to come out and mouth off at us. We shouldn't make the first move but believe me when I say that I don't feel like taking any crap off anyone," Simone urged in her persuasive way.

"I get it," Annabelle replied, having weighed and measured her partner's every syllable. She broke into a smile as enlightenment dawned on her."You'll haul out Miss Bradley for one last time, like the way you sent Cat out of the classroom."

"Exactly," Simone said, delighted as she hadn't considered such a precise formulation from this sharp-witted woman. She applied the last touches of lipstick and reached for her handbag without which she didn't feel quite properly dressed at smart occasions. Her lover stuck to essentials in grabbing the bag containing the symbols of her academic status.. They were off and away.

A peculiar sensation crept over the the two women as they drove from their beach house to St Theresa's High School, scene of their first acquaintance, both their the growing love and and growing strains in their relationship as the roles of teacher and student jaggedly bumped against the way they 'got' each other. Most strikingly, this was the journey they'd travelled at the end of the spring break when they faced returning to the roles they were trapped in after Annabelle had gently and lovingly seen Simone through the trauma of finally letting go her lost love of years ago. This time around, they were only visiting or so they thought as they swung into the visitor's car park at the back of the administration block. Alarm bells rang inside Annabelle's head at the way Simone pursed her mouth and her eyes flitted all around the car park which was already filling up. It forcibly reminded her how Simone had looked after driving them back to school after the emotional intensity of their spring break holiday at the beach house for the handcuffs of teacher student relationship to be clicked back on their wrists. Laughing mothers and daughters opened up car doors and chatted and clattered across the tarmac with the odd father in tow who somehow had escaped the all-enveloping workaholic culture. It only served to push Simone back against the implacable wall of conventional expectations once again.

"Hey, you're Simone Bradley," she said, laying her hand on Simone's shapely fingers. "That's something really special. You can teach rebellious seniors, play guitar and sing like an angel, do great artwork with photos and you're one hell of a lover. Just be strong."

"Thank you,"Simone said, exhaling her tensions in one long stream and shining out all the affections of her grateful heart as she gripped the lifeline held out to her."I needed that. OK I'm ready if you are."

"I know we can't hold hands and stuff so let's imagine it. It's a straight ceremony we're going through," Annabelle added gently.

"So I'll be your roadie with your graduation outfit," laughed Simone, her eyes dancing as she reached behind her for the bag and opened the car door.

As soon as they started walking towards the main hall, both women were immediately conscious of the space that separated their hands from each other but they knew that they would have to make do their exchanges of smiles and feelings instead. It wasn't long before they started to approach the other seniors and parents who were making their way towards the door to the Great Hall and both women knew that blind chance would decide which pupil and parents they would happen to meet. It would set up just how they would relate to the outside world. To their delight, Colins came into view. She recognised them and her brilliant smile of welcome temporarily banished her expression of permanent worry and nervousness.

"Miss Bradley, Annabelle, I'm really glad you could make it. You both deserved to be here. Guys, this is my mother. Mom, this is Annabelle who's my best friend and Miss Bradley's my teacher who really encouraged me to write poetry like I do now. Both of them looked after me when I was going through bad times," Colins chattered away with unusual animation, fidgeting with the long sleeve of her white shirt.

The dominant fashionably dressed woman directed a steely controlling glare at Colins until, by sheer chance Kristen Edwards and her parents came into view. The two mothers made a great fuss of each other before Kristen's mother threw a verbal direction over her shoulder, both of them pointedly ignoring Simone .

"We'll let the girls spend some time together. It's customary on occasions like this."

"So you're one of the girls Simone," retaliated Annabelle in a voice just audible, the light of battle in her eye and a dangerous smile on her lips.

"Suits me just fine Annabelle," that soft, easy voice answered, edged with a trace of defiance."In that case, we'll all sit together." Kristen blinked at Simone's easy familiarity but Colins just loved the idea.

With a shock of recognition, the open door to the great hall came nearer. These wrought iron exterior gates were flung back just the way they remembered it except the sun was shining instead of rain teeming down on them. They'd exchanged their first kisses on these steps after Annabelle's desperate appeal through her love song to Simone, performed with her guitar and voice and a backing band finally broken through Simone's confusions. Both women smiled fondly at this sacred spot while, to the others, it was just a hall doorway. When they passed through into the hallway, the same pale violet curtains shaded the windows but the hall was decked out in more formal attire. Where there had been the dance floor were row upon row of chairs. A top table behind which was a line of chairs for the teachers substituted for Cat Pegrum's brother's group group on stage.

Simone and Annabelle stood transfixed as they looked all round them. This room should not have changed since they'd last left it even though they'd moved on. Other mothers and daughters pushed past but the two women were oblivious.

"Miss Bradley we really need to grab a seat or they'll all be gone or we'll be split up," Colins finally said in an agitated fashion. All of them looked for Simone to lead them, even Annabelle as habit took over. Simone blinked and made a determined move towards the extreme left of the hall and managed to grab four seats towards the back. Just before the others caught up, Cat Pegrum and her mother passed by, both glaring at Simone. They'd obviously not forgotten the verbal confrontation in the supermarket when they'd got the worst of it. The fair-haired woman coldly ignored them both in action and thought. They were both redundant to her scheme of things while Annabelle radiated total

contempt as she remembered what an asshole Cat was. She knew only too well that if Cat hadn't spitefully blabbed to the Mother Immaculata, she and Simone might have got away with sleeping together that first night.

"Don't worry. We'll probably never see them again," Colins said with bright reassurance.

"What happens now?"Kristen said to Miss Bradley.

"Father Harris told me the order of events. First there's a speaker to inspire all you good people to go forth into the world and strive to be good citizens of America, whether bringing forth into the world the next generation or striving to be captains of industry, etc etc in these modern liberated times. He said that the speaker they had in mind pulled out at the last minute and they had to get a substitute."

"Oh shit," exclaimed Annabelle louder than she intended. The impact of her sudden interjection could be felt to ripple outwards across the hall, disturbing the passive, tranquillised atmosphere of acquiescence. All around them, row upon row of sleekly turned out parents and daughters dressed up in their finest outfits made for a spectacle of perfection. Simone giggled with her hand over her mouth while Colins and Kristen smiled slightly."My mother can't really be attending. She swore to us she hadn't got the time."

"Just relax Annabelle. They've only found the head of the local Chamber of Commerce, someone quite harmless," Simone replied perkily with a touch of their normal rapport peeking through her polite exterior, while Annabelle sank back in her chair with relief.

"So what happens now? I guess you're the expert," Colins asked quietly, fidgeting nervously with her bag carrying her graduation outfit. .

"I've attended many graduation ceremonies over the years and we'll all listen to long speeches that are supposed to inspire you in the years to come to achieve the conventional goals of success. I'm not going to knock it and be negative but you have to listen to the song in your own heart and follow it without deviation. If it conflicts with whatever society tells you you should want and feel, is that really such a crime? It's all about defining yourself and to feel happy within your own skin and with whoever you relate to in years to come," Simone said in a slow, dreamy tone of voice that made Annabelle's eyes shine like stars as every word was written like a jewel in her own passionate heart. Colins' curiousity was intrigued and the stream of consciousness passed over Kristen's head as too obscure, like an English composition Miss Bradley used to analyse. "After that, you go into the sideroom, put on your gowns, sashed and mortarboards and get presented with your diplomas, have some refreshments and gather outside to talk awhile,"Simone added in a more definite tone of voice.

"Isn't that Sister Clair up on the top table with all the dorm heads?" Kristen asked to change the topic of conversation."Don't you wish you were up there with them?"

"I'm not into competition," Simone said with a soft gentle laugh in her voice."It's interesting to witness this as a spectator rather than as a midwife but I do want to see you guys presented with your diplomas."

What Simone didn't mention was the sight of Father Harris sitting besides the Mother Immaculata, dressed in his usual robes but looking old and lonely besides that concentration of wilful power that was taking charge of events. Kristen frowned with incomprehension because the way Miss Bradley talked was as if they were friends. Annabelle smiled in an easy relaxed fashion as she knew better.

"I think we're about to begin," observed Simone, sensing the buildup of atmosphere and witnessing the subtle movements up on stage of which she was once such a part. That existence felt many times removed from the woman she now was.


	29. Chapter 29

As soon as the speech started, Annabelle looked up at the speaker on stage and took her measure in an instant. The woman was small and slim and looked typically sun-tanned in the requisite fashion. She wore her dark hair short and cropped and her wide smile exposing immaculately shaped gleaming teeth conveyed the exact corporate requirements for a sincere smile. She wore the regulation power-dressing dark trouser suit and was the very embodiment of marketable feminism. To Annabelle's jaundiced point of view, she knew that if she hadn't marked out her own destiny, she'd have had a sense of impending doom hanging over her. So this woman, leader of the Chamber of Commerce, was supposed to inspire her to become Ms Bigshot? She had never seen her mother delivering one of her famous speeches but she knew beyond doubt that this woman, whoever she was, might as well be her mother. The same stream of phrases wafted past her consciousness, leaving no imprint while her lover's sheer poetry stuck in her mind. Just now and again, she bothered to odd phrases

"I can still remember what it felt like to be young, when you are carefree, when life's promises are just waiting for you to fulfil your potential. It doesn't stop you having a little fun, to hang out with your friends and to flirt with the opposite sex," Ms Chamber of Commerce confided with just that right degree of intimate girlishness until she got back to the serious stuff in her finale.

"As a working mother, I know only too well how demanding running a home and pursuing your career. However, I can assure you that you will be up to life's demands and duties. The way you learn to make your mark amongst your peers, to be a leader will not be for nothing as they are guiding spirits. Above all else the pride you will take in the school you have been nurtured, St Theresa's Catholic High School are lessons you will unconsciously apply when you start to map out your career. In this way, you will give back what has been unselfishly given to you by your hard working, intelligent, caring teachers whose spiritual mother, the Mother Immaculata has designed and fashioned to be the finest educational institution in this State of California. I also proud to count the Mother Immaculata as a dear personal friend of mine and I know what great and good works she does every day of her life..."

"I think I'm going to be sick," muttered Annabelle to Simone who turned to face her. She was immediately concerned that the younger woman's understandable sensitivities would physically revolt against the stream of empty clichés pouring forth. Her English teacher's instincts were already being severely critical of content, structure and stylistic technique of this speech that could just as easily have been delivered by an Autocue that could speak. She was also seething with anger to see Father Harris being so brutally marginalised. She reached for inspiration that could prevent her lover from physically throwing up as she surreptitiously squeezed her lover's hand briefly.

"Just try not to listen, darling. I'm really sorry I forgot to buy us ear plugs."

Her irreverence and solid advice did the trick. Annabelle grinned appreciatively as she saw Simone studiously ignore the disapproving looks focussed on them from outside their group.

"We can't conform to their standards not even if we spent a year practising," observed Annabelle to which Simone nodded. Just at that moment, the entire audience broke into enthusiastic applause at the conclusion of the speech. While Simone only clapped tepidly as a token effort, Annabelle resolutely refused to clap the self important bitch for the lies that she spewed out for suckers to believe in. She felt Simone's sideways glance at her but knew that she had always respected her opinions from way back.

"I don't blame you," Simone said quietly just before the next scene started in the movie in which they were only so many unregarded extras.

"I'm sure that everyone will be grateful for the truly inspiring address by our speaker who I am delighted is a personal friend of mine who filled in at the last minute. I trust that all of you girls will remember everything that's been told to you. And now is the part of our proceeding which I always enjoy and it is your day, you the students. Could you make your way into the side hall as quickly and as orderly as possible while you, the proud parents remain with your thoughts awhile," announced the Mother Immaculata in her strident carrying tones.

Somehow Simone's eye had been off the ball and she hadn't anticipated being separated from her friends. As Annabelle stood up ready to join the multi-headed queue for the side-door, she gave Simone such a look of loving affection."Stay safe, I'll be back soon," her lips seemed to mouth. Then she was gone amongst the crowds of her school year. The cold chilly side hall was bare and Annabelle looked for some spare space in the hall to prepare herself. She donned her black gown that gave her a touch of grandeur but virtually covered her dress. For one second, she feared that her individuality had been taken away from her but took confidence that such an effort of mind control could never overcome her resilient defences, especially when the formidable alliance of her partner's mind and will was there to back her up. She arranged the orange coloured wide sash over her head to drape over her chest, arranged it right and stuck the mortar-board on her head. She knew she was no Cinderella figure and she was going to the ball come what may, kicking and screaming if need be.

As she looked around, she had real difficulties in picking out those she knew strangely because of the way everyone was dressed alike. It crossed her mind that she was immersing herself one more time in the life she'd led for the previous year with the other seniors before they flew apart in different directions. It gave her a certain feeling of detachment in the way she viewed them all. Once she'd finished giving her hair a final brush, she circulated around and fetched up with Colins and Kirsten as they shuffled round for a place in the queue. She smiled reassuringly and talked to Colins who was typically nervous. Sister Clair was in charge of this part of the operation and she walked down the line. As she passed Annabelle, she smiled remembering the times she'd weakened and supplied the younger woman with packs of cigarettes. To this day, she wondered why she had done it but the Mother Immaculata wasn't going to hear about it.

"OK, Martha can lead the way when I give the sign,"Sister Clair said according to strict instructions given to her."Remember what you've been told in rehearsals, look graceful when you walk across the stage, smile and thank the guest when she presents you with your degree, cross the far side and walk quietly down the side aisles and take your place back with your parents. When you're told to, then everyone can have refreshments if they want or stand and talk outside. Remember, it's your day today."

"So I'm being told to be nice to the authority figure one last time,"Annabelle muttered mutinously under her breath to Kristen's shocked surprise. She was expecting a full-on rebellion but she was surprised to see her friend shrug her shoulders and fall into line with the others. It didn't matter if she'd been left out of the rehearsals as she knew she could busk it. Colins followed her lead.

All at once, the line of women filed slowly out the door and up onto the stage, Simone's wandering thoughts suddenly took definite shape as her heart leapt inside her with an incandescent glow. This was the moment she'd dreamed of. Her lover had been the outcast in past years but was now right up there with the others. She was so proud of her as she finally came into view as she walked so elegantly across the stage. This was their moment of validation. Added to that, she felt a halo effect of all her hard work in teaching which was bearing its final fruit. She shouldn't deny herself credit for what she'd achieved.

Annabelle placed one foot after another, feeling glad she was wearing sandals with her oriental dress as she felt grounded. The only thing that mattered was to get to the centre of the stage and receive her diploma as a 'fuck you' to the schools that had expelled her. What she would say to Ms Bigshot didn't matter. She didn't impress her. No one impressed her unless they could stand naked in front of her with wearing only their wisdom.

"You must be very proud of herself," the woman finally said to her just as she'd said to Kristen ahead of her.

"I am," Annabelle said brazenly with no false modesty, her grey eyes transfixing the woman with no willingness to defer to her."I worked really hard to get these grades."

"Well, here's your diploma, Annabelle Tillman," came the automatic reply as she gave her the diploma certificate.

"Thank you," the younger woman said tonelessly and then she made her way off the stage. Somehow, her legs of rubber carried her down the aisle where Simone had to fight hard to stop her from hugging her lover. Instead, a beaming smile radiated her joy as she fingered the certificate.

"You couldn't be more overjoyed if it had happened to you Simone," Annabelle said, all the tenderness of her loving nature in her voice and a tear or two trickling down her face. She felt with every ounce of her being that her intense joy was Simone's also. Somehow the sounds of daughters and mothers exchanging self congratulatory conversations and general chit chat faded into the background where only she and Simone existed. Kristen and Colins were aware of this unfortunate focussing inwards and wondered if Miss Bradley would notice their achievements. After all, she'd taught them all

"Hey, Miss Bradley you got me through my exams as well," a very nervous Colins finally said nervously and politely. It broke their spell as both women felt guilty that these good friends had been shut out of their loop.

"Hey, I'm really sorry," both women chorussed at the same time. Simone and Annabelle looked at their friends diplomas and they were delighted that Colins and Kristen had done respectably well in their grades. They immediately enthused about them, their natural warmth overflowing all around them.

"Of course Annabelle was always the genius at English. Everyone knew that," Kristen said very generously to her friend who flushed with pleasure like the original birthday girl. A stray thought crossed Simone's mind that no one questioned Annabelle's grades, her coursework having gone through her hands yet how curiously distanced she felt from her former incarnation as teacher. She chattered away with the others like she was one of the girls.

"This is where the problems might start," Simone said laconically as they filed out to the refreshment area behind the stage. Annabelle knew very well that being pinned down to their seats had had its advantages as it had kept them away from their enemies. They had no choice but to face their destiny.

"Simone," suddenly intoned that voice in shocked disapproval from out of nowhere. It made all four women jump and Simone immediately realised that this was a moment of truth. This was the woman who had haunted and ruled her life until recently, the Mother Immaculata and also her aunt. Last time around, she'd been taken at a disadvantage, wearing her jeans and bra while Annabelle was wearing her slip. This time would be different. Both Colins and Kristen cringed away from the woman who had held unquestioned authority over them. Annabelle was silent but knew that this was Simone's fight."Isn't it enough that you drag this respectable institution through the mud by taking advantage of one of our delinquent students? I would have thought that you would have never darkened our doors again and stayed away from the graduation ceremony. As far as this school is concerned, you are history and something that should be expunged from the records."

"I came here because I was invited. Here's my card and Annabelle's which Father Harris kindly provided," Simone said with cold disdain

"I shall have to have words with him. His action was highly innappropriate," stormed the

Mother Immaculata, breathing fire and brimstone largely because her imperious command of events had been outflanked.

"On the contrary, his action was entirely appropriate," pursued Simone, inwardly gleeful that she'd found a chink in this woman's armour and she was going on the counter-attack after all the shit she'd gone through with being arrested and her public reputation ruined.

"I came because one of your most distinguished scholars was going to be on her own and Annabelle and I have been models of discretion. I also wanted to give my best wishes to all my old students. It is you who is causing a scene, Just look all around you."

The obstreperous woman was alarmed to see a gathering crowd in a situation where only she'd be the loser. She coloured deeply with embarrassment to Simone's delight, Annabelle's love for her lover's spirited defence and Kristen and Colins total astonishment at seeing the walls of Jericho come crashing down.

"We'll have our share of refreshments, circulate for a while, look up those worth looking up and we'll disappear. No need for us to ever meet again in this lifetime?" Simone pursued in a soft but firm tone of voice.

The Mother Immaculata nodded eagerly and then headed for the exit like a dog being let off the leash. To Simone's curiously detached sense of surprise, she saw that the Mother Immaculata was approaching her own mother who appeared briefly out of nowhere before they both disappeared out of the room. Two sisters, two of a kind, she thought. It had never occurred to Simone that she'd be there as well though she'd never spotted her. It was a matter of indifference that both were disappearing out of her life.

"We'll do what we promised and head on to the refreshments. No need to gloat," commanded Simone in firm tones. It equally possible that her friends' deference to her lead was because she was once their teacher or because of the wisdom of her advice. Besides, they suddenly felt very hungry.

"Do you want a cigarette, Annabelle," called out a different voice from the side. It was Sister Clair, her face wreathed in smiles and a twinkle in her eye.

"No thanks Sister Clair," Annabelle replied politely."I only started smoking as I was sure St Theresa's would forbid me smoking so I wanted it all the more. Now that I'm out of school and have the choice, I'm not interested. Simone caught me smoking my very first cigarette after my parents dropped me off here."

There was a general laugh at Annabelle's droll explanation of one aspect of her rebellion. It signalled a general move towards the refreshments queue which Sister Clair joined.

"Mmm, these home made cakes taste great," exclaimed Annabelle excitedly through a mouthful of food, nearly dropping her diploma certificate as she reached for a coffee. Simone discreetly popped the certificate into her handbag. "I used to be such a pig for them when I was a kid, that and ice cream but Simone knows my guilty secrets."

Colins looked on at the two women wishing that she could be in such a loving relationship as Annabelle and Miss Bradley clearly were. They made perfect sense to her. More than ever before, Miss Bradley's busting didn't seem a hanging offence.

"That's because I made them," chuckled Sister Clair."It's nice to hear them appreciated as well as being wolfed down and no one says anything."

As they stood talking and eating, it was obvious that Sister Clair was becoming increasingly restless. She felt guilty as Simone was being really nice to her.

"I really have to go. You know how it is, Simone. However nice a group of people you meet that these affairs, you have to circulate and give everyone equal chances. You don't have to talk to all of your ex-pupils. If they've got anything about them, they'll come to you. Besides, I haven't seen the Mother Immaculata and I'm kind of worried about her."

"Sure, we know what you mean," Annabelle said with all the wisdom of the world in her voice, taking pity on the old woman who was the unpaid drudge for the female tyrant who ran this school as a cute financial operation and kept all those who worked for strictly in line. The narrow constricted way Simone had behaved in the past compared with how free she had now become measured the hold she could maintain which Sister Clair was still trapped in. She was at the point of no return and she was infinitely sorry for the woman.

They finally strolled out onto the terrace where Father Harris appeared from out of the blue.

"Welcome to St Theresa's as always, Simone and also our latest distinguished scholar. It's a pleasure to see you, Colins and Kristen not that I want to underrate your efforts."

"Annabelle always was a smartass," Kristen started to say without thinking and then coloured slightly at her choice of language." I mean we all saw in class what she was like."

Father Harris chuckled as Simone knew he would. It prompted the question that had lurked in her mind for a long time as to what sort of broadening experiences he'd undergone before entering the church.

"I'm really glad you and Annabelle could both make it or more accurately that you found the courage to be here."

"We did what had to be done. Some parts we've really enjoyed," came the reply from the younger woman. Father Harris smiled approvingly at this razor- sharp woman who stood before him.

As they started to chat to each other, they suddenly noticed the background chatter around them. A couple of mothers were expanding at length what plans they'd got for their offspring and relating the trials and tribulations of bringing up children these days and generally stroking each others' egos. Another of them was busy taking pictures of everything that moved and a lot that didn't. It prompted Simone to reach inside her handbag for her own camera. She clicked off a few shots before pausing for thought.

"You don't mind taking a couple of pictures of us, Father Harris?" Simone asked nervously but glad she'd got the words out.

"Certainly," Father Harris said genially."You;ll have to show me which buttons to press as I'm not as young and energetic as I used to be."

He peered through the viewfinder but there was something strained and artificial about their stance. It crossed his mind that they wanted this to be an ordinary photograph no one could possibly take exception only they were trying too hard. It didn't work and finally, Father Harris had the answer.

"Simone, it is permitted for you and Annabelle to hold hands if you're more comfortable that way. I am an amateur but even I can see that it would make a better picture," Father Harris said with mock sternness. Immediately, their two hands were interlinked and huge beams of pleasure spread all over their faces. At that point, Father Harris clicked off three photos in quick succession.

"Hey you guys," Kristen said."We were going to look up some of the other guys while they're here, maybe exchange addresses," Kristen said

"We'll bring any of them over who want to meet you," Colins said eagerly, being her way of reconciling wanting to be in two places at the same time.

"So how is life at St Theresa's finding you these days?" Simone asked, attempting to make polite conversation.

"Not good," came the blunt answer."I'm sure you know that I was shut out of the loop in the events following the end of year party. I don't get on with the Mother Immaculata these days as she is too greedy for power. Part of the reason I arranged for you both to come to the graduation was that at last I had the chance to make a decision, the other reason being that it was the right thing to do. Worst of all is the feeling I've got that I'm only allowed to ramble on making sermons as I please as long as it doesn't really change anything and it panders to the vanity of an old man ready for a retirement home."

"I really liked listening to your serrmons, Father Harris," Annabelle interjected, looking the elderly directly in the eye in that way that unnerved the insincere and the philistine."I'd always thought that religion is really lame but your sermons are, well really fresh."

"Perhaps you'll end up following God's word- in your fashion, Annabelle," Father Harris said with blue twinkling eyes as hope was renewed in his tired old heart.

"Could I do it in any other way?" Annabelle said, a laughing challenge in her voice.

"My door is always welcome to you both even if other doors aren't."

The sunlight shining down and the kindliness of this old man who was short of friends made this moment of the graduation most significant and meaningful. It was one that they'd never forget.


	30. Chapter 30

The two women sat out on the front, feeling the soft breezes help chill them out as a wonderful feeling of achievement coursed through them, as if they were coming down off a lysergic acid trip without the chemicals. Normally, they would watch the sun settling down in its usual splendour of fiery colours shining in through the window. This time, heightened sensibilities demanded that they be out there with nature, watching the view below them .They looked down on the wide expanse of beach at high tide as the waves rolled in. Endlessly wide bars of golden red moved in from the ocean, edged with lines of black and ended their life with a sustained soothing sound that died away on the perfumed winds. An overpowering feeling of relief at the way their day had ended coloured their feelings.

"Hey Annabelle," Simone asked urgently, her soft voice edged with a hard touch of unbearable excitement."Pass me that writing pad of yours so I can write what I'm feeling. An idea's just hitting me."

Silently, Annabelle passed her the pad she'd been doodling on. Nothing had come to her mind so she thought that her lover's ideas unchained might be interesting. Simone started scribbling the following lines, her eyes wide open, her senses working overtime.

"Orange moonlight

up against the western sky

Soon we'll see all our troubles disappear

Underneath its watchful sky

made me dark wild eyes

Tonight

We'll watch the waves roll in

And flames go on by."

She laid the pad aside. She knew the music would come later.

An hour later when darkness had finally fallen, both women were chilling out delightfully as they lay curled up together on the sofa, all swathed in bath towels at the end of the day. They had showered together and the end of the day called out for some some fast and furious sex. Simone reached her naked arm towards a side table for a soothing mug of tea which she guessed where it was three-dimensionally located. She took a satisfied sip and placed it back again.

"Make sure you don't spill the tea on me. It could really spoil things between us," murmured Annabelle in a sleepy mischievous tone of voice as she snuggled up to her lover. It made Simone laugh only when she'd replaced the mug.

"I've been to many graduation ceremonies over the years but I never expected to find myself feeling so on edge. I've been so used to holding hands or putting my arm round you these last few weeks that I never expected to find nerve ends standing out like stalks that I couldn't touch you. We did our best to hold each other up but I'm so glad we can feel really normal again,"Simone said with a sustained feeling of profound relief, running her fingers along the shape of her shoulder and loosening her towel.

"I felt just as weird as you did and felt your weirdness coming off you in waves. I'm really, really glad you became Miss Bradley when we went for refreshments as you really centred me when I needed it. My head would have flown into orbit and exploded if you hadn't taken charge. I knew why you were doing it, of course,"Annabelle said earnestly with that half-smiling knowingness as she softly kissed her lover's lips that drew a soft reflective laugh from her. Of course, that astute dark-haired woman had nailed down the core of their experiences with her sure instinct.

"I felt it start coming over me as soon as we drove through the gates. Colins and Kirsten also helped and being outside in the open air with Father Harris was really therapeutic."

"He told both of us that we're really special, that we stood out from the rest. Do you think he was for real?" Annabelle asked with a quizzical expression on her face as her body moved ever so subtly against those shapely contours she knew and loved so much.

"He is," Simone said in slow clear tones as she pressed back softly in return, her fingers running along Annabelle's cheek. She loved the feel of these soft and tender moments that felt exquisite, something the best music and poetry only sketched at in one dimension which made their conversation follow its path at one interesting remove however valid it was. "He said that to me even when he knew that Amanda and I had stolen all that communion wine from the rectory. I think he even knew even before I did that I was falling in love with you yet he never tried to stop me. The Mother Immaculata would have done if she'd known."

The towel that had swathed Annabelle's body had gradually slipped down the length of her body as they were talking and it finally revealed a nipple grown diamond hard. Simone gave a faint gasp, slipped aside the towel that was wrapped round her head and slid down the sofa to softly savour the texture with her lips and tongue and luxuriate in the soft fresh feel of her senses and her lover's gentle fingers caressing her. This was the sort of heavenly evening that was the stuff of dreams.

Lazing around in bed the following morning gave them space to contemplate their future. The run up to the graduation ceremony had absorbed their combined energies in terms of what to do, how to figure out how they would best feel about themselves and how they would relate to all those they had known. Now they could relax with Annabelle's diploma nicely framed and occupying pride of place and Simone felt grateful that her handbag held Colins and Kirsten's contact details, knowing that changing fates had forged the start of a friendship that went beyond their past teacher student relationship.

"So what do we do today?" Annabelle said with that sense of excitement that showed in her sideways nudge of Simone's leg and her restlessness. Simone adored the way her partner's complex personality was unashamed and wise enough to openly reveal a childlike side to her and where she led, Simone was glad to follow.

"We'll have to take your graduation outfit back sometime …..." Simone said vaguely , noting the younger woman's crestfallen expression ,"...and I want to frame your graduation diploma and put it on display," and here Annabelle's mobile expression started to brighten,"...and there's the invitation to Chico's which represents our public coming out. We really have to plan for that," upon which Annabelle threw her arms delightedly round her lover and hugged her.

"What about playing music together first?"

Simone smiled cheerfully in agreement, drained the last of her morning cup of coffee and got out her guitar while Annabelle did the same. They had now evolved into a musical duo that could mesh their singing and playing into one just as their thoughts and feelings. They threw around the melody line between each other, sometimes making a stab at harmonies that sometimes worked and sometimes didn't. Simone led off more confidently on her Walt Whitman/ Simone Bradley composition and smoothed out a few rough edges so that it flowed better. They ran through the songs they'd worked through and what they heard felt good. Annabelle fished out a sheet of paper where she'd scrawled down lyrics and chord changes from the couple of Tori Amos songs she'd learned and played them through. Simone studied the way her musical partner was playing the song and in her head, figured how her voice could be woven in and surprisingly quickly, a fuller sounding version of the songs evolved from nowhere. Finally, Simone produced her writing from last night and with a determined confidence that her lover openly admired, she started fiddling around on her guitar, playing a strange stop start series of chords and singing this haunting melody that was all her own and her words became a magical song lyric that was clearly based on their life together. The younger woman started picking out single string notes to accentuate the song and when Simone had finished, broke into enthusiastic applause which made Simone smile shyly and look down at her feet.

"That song is called 'Tonight.' I guess it sounds OK," she said tentatively.

"That's really amazing. I love it," Annabelle said, her eyes glowing and proud to be present when this little masterpiece fell out of the sky from nowhere.

"You know, we've got quite a repertoire of songs worked out," Simone said joyfully, her spirits buoyed up. Annabelle made no answer, her lips slightly parted as she rested her guitar on her knee. She looked as if she were on the point of saying something but the words didn't come. The fair-haired woman felt so happy that she carried onto the next song that came to her mind, Annabelle's love song to her which the younger woman joined in with her tinkling notes and slightly husky, lower pitched harmonised voice with perfect ease. Their playing felt so comfortable and easy that a thought popped into Simone's mind from nowhere, begging to be vocalised.

"Do you really think we could make a living out of this?" Simone suddenly asked with her questioning gaze. The younger woman said nothing but her starry eyed gaze searched into far horizons. Simone could sense the Annabelle's ambitions which she'd kept secret from her while they'd both laboured to get Simone's guitar playing up to scratch at what had seemed as a private hobby for the past week or so.

"That's what I was thinking. We can get somewhere. I have a feeling about it," Annabelle said with an abstracted look on her face. Her evident seriousness gave Simone a touch of emotional vertigo at the thought of playing on stage and for others.

"What makes you feel so sure? I mean it's a tremendous compliment to me seeing as I hadn't touched a guitar since my teens during a long ago summer."

"There's lots of reasons," answered Annabelle confidently as she returned to the present and looked at her fellow musician directly in the eye and spoke with a real intensity of feeling.." Most musicians take time to get into the rhythms and the feel but you've made that jump really quickly. It's as if you really knew all along how to play guitar and sing only you needed me to remind you. I haven't played with anyone who could pick it up that quickly and your singing is really gorgeous. I know you'll write really great songs. We're a natural duo."

"You know we're not enough on our own. All the music, even easy listening has some sort of rhythm behind it. I know that much," pursued Simone.

"You're right. We need bass and drums minimum and we're going to have to go semi-electric or else a rhythm section would drown us out. That's why I'm thinking of this evening. That's what I'm hoping will turn up and in the meantime, we'll practice to get good enough so they'll want us."

There it was, right out in the open. The vision Annabelle painted both scared and attracted her. Wasn't that the very same feeling she had when the faint stirrings rose up inside her at a time when she had a passionless relationship with Michael and the sheer predictability of her life threatened to overwhelm her? Having gone for the extremely high risk alternative of giving her heart to Annabelle, a student in her care, had given her priceless emotional riches so why not become a professional musician? Simone started to fiddle with where her cross had once hung, a nervous gesture not lost on Annabelle.

"But these things need to be fixed up?" questioned Simone with a furrowed brow,

"I heard from Cat's brother how they got their group together. You'd be surprised at how much accidents causes groups . Besides, didn't Father Harris tell you one to try not to figure things out. That's how the best things happen. Trust me," Annabelle said eagerly, laying her guitar and and jiggling her leg excitedly.

Simone figured out that the way she had told Cat's brother how her song should be played at the end of year party indicated her previous experience in bands and that she knew what she was talking about. That and the younger woman's obvious confidence in her persuaded Simone to give in gracefully.

Nikki was standing on the sidewalk, staring open-mouthed at the tram as it clattered down the classic San Francisco scene of the main street descending by stages down to the waterfront.

"I can't believe I'm really standing here," she said for the hundredth time as she willed her eyes to keep as a permanent record the sights, smells and feelings of this historic spot.

"Just how many photos do I have to take of you standing at various places along this street? Don't I get a look in and be photographed?" Helen declared with pronounced emphasis."I suppose the next thing you'll want to do is to move out here permanently. Will the American government really want to welcome residents like us to spread our trouble-making tendencies?.'Give us your poor tired huddled masses etc etc' but make damn sure they aren't lesbian subversives."

"Don't worry darling. I do love the English climate, a nice cup of tea, the city of London, even English weather and talking about it," Nikki retorted with a wicked grin on her face

"I'm greatly reassured," joked Helen..

"It's strange here. People are much more open and friendly and my accent really does open doors. I know I can't be like them as I have a British reserve. On the other hand, if you get an uptight American, he's really uptight. It's the contrast that gets me," Nikki said in a more reflective mood.

"Has this trip been what you expected and hoped for? Will we really have to pay a fortune in excess baggage charge?" Helen asked pointedly.

Nikki grinned. On top of the books she'd brought with her, she'd found specialist book shops which were to her taste- and Helen's even though she'd conveniently forgotten the fact. She'd been like a kid in a candy store and they'd bought clothes and make-up out here.

"Wonder what this meeting at Chico's will be like? Somehow a lot of my hopes and fears are bound up with it, the closer it gets. I know we're not a million miles from Hollywood. I just want to be treated as normal in the right way."

"You mean women we can relate to emotionally as friends, a meal for the senses?" counter questioned Helen softly.

Nikki's grin testified to the picture Helen's words conjured up that was more expressive than the mere words had spelled out. She knew what thoughts her lover had understood.


	31. Chapter 31

A palpable feeling of growing excitement ran backwards and forwards along the invisible intricate spider's web communications network that connected a community of women and sustained their emotional ties and, above all, drew them out of the relative isolation of their separate homes. More often than not, they struggled along in their own niches, stuck with whom they were forced to associate with in the nine to five world. The unluckiest of those had been used to deploying that external persona to negotiate with the outside world while what was most urgent and vital remained underground. Those more fortunate women who came home to their partners knew that isolated domesticity meant a turning in on themselves and kept them away from those they most identified with and , besides, they needed their own scene so they could put on their glad rags These were the occasions when, above all else, they could be free to be themselves, one of life's most precious experience and the birthrights of every freeborn American

Sadie's unofficial function was to help drum up support for the socials and she saw no reason to make a big secret of a couple of her customers whose account she handled. She passed the news onto the first friend she called.

"If they're going then I'm so into coming out this Friday and so is Erin," she said excitedly, holding her mobile with one hand, the other being lovingly clasped by the slim fingers of her beloved."I read the papers and all I got was the standard shock horror, sexy teacher seduces cute innocent child and I know that's bullshit. I really want to see what they're like."

"Did you ever have a crush on your English teacher when you were in high school, someone who you wanted to show her your poetry? I know I did," a teasing voice called out to her from above her when she came off the phone.

"Vanessa and I are coming as we've have met them already. They're really great to hang out with," a second voice down the other end of the phone told Sadie in definite tones which made it easy to pass on to the third on her list. Finally, Sadie chatted to a dark haired woman she vaguely knew who was a more background character of the scene.

"Thanks for letting me know. I'll be there with my girlfriend," she said in a flat level tone of voice. Inwardly, it caused her heart to skip a beat and her nervous system to start pulsing **a**way. An inflammatory cocktail of emotions churned away of jealousy, heartache, resentment that she'd spent so much wasted time in putting her feelings on the line for her. Surely, the woman standing before her could see how she felt and did she really need to involve her best friend Kristen in passing notes to her? She'd poured out all her dreams that she'd fantasised about her in the relative privacy of her dorm bed when she could hide under the covers. All this woman did was to politely reject her overtures week after week until she graduated and did her best to forget her first love even she'd not as much as even held hands. She even pretended that she'd be cool on the night to the fair haired woman and immediately ensconce herself in a corner of the bar with some woman and publicly kiss her so no one would possibly get the wrong idea. She was a regular reader of the Los Angeles Tribune and a slightly crumpled copy lay in her drawer like a guilty secret which wasn't in too much danger of unwelcome discovery. It pictured a certain fair haired woman trapped in the glare of a flashbulb and the headline "No charges to be filed in teacher student sex scandal."She knew better than the other couple just what had gone down from what she knew of the situation.

As soon as Simone and Annabelle walked into the bar, they felt incredibly shy and tongue tied. They were conscious that, in the subdued lighting, slinkily dressed women were appraising them with a thousand looks that crowded their psyches. Some were at the bar ordering drinks, others were seated round low slung round homely looking tables sipping at an assortment of cocktails. They were highly conscious that, except for the graduation, they'd become used to each other's intimacy and that mingling with the lesbian scene raised the bar to a terrifying height for them to negotiate. They gave off a sophisticated, worldly aura that both women found intimidating especially as they sensed that everyone had known everyone else for ages. They were the new kids on the block with only the last two weeks to show for solid experience. What made it worse was that, on glancing round the room, there was no sign of Nikki or Helen and it dawned on them that they would be the centre of attention just when they didn't want it. They found themselves introduced to a series of women and they were hard put to register their identities. They indulged in small talk to cover their own nervousness and both felt acutely that they came over as really lame. They got the feeling that the conversation was edging ever so gently into finding out about the background story to the tabloid headlines written by the regular obvious uptight homophobes who sought to keep the state Republican and right thinking. What they didn't want was to make out they were some kind of stars and their instinct was to minimise what they'd done. They really wanted the women they'd met already to help them smooth the way into the party so they could relax. It depressed them that an event which they'd built up their hopes on wasn't turning out as they had wanted.

"I'm intrigued to meet the latest manifestation of women who've thought they've been the first to think ther're out and proud. By the way, my name's Miranda," cut in a challenging voice from the background in a way that other women gave space to for some unaccountable reason. It spoilt the atmosphere which had been warming up and included them in the general good vibes. In the corner, two women were softly kissing each other and running their fingers through their sleek long hair.

"So you think you're so smart," challenged Annabelle abruptly as something in this woman goaded her to react more sharply than she had intended, her primal instinct being to stand her ground and fight back. . Her opponent wore this elegant black dress which was unusually shaped to leave her arms and shoulders bare but was shaped round her neck in a striking fashion. Her features were striking and bold, her slightly wavy hair pulled back from her face and resting on her shoulders. She was the epitome of the elegant audience who had first greeted them.

"So you're Annabelle. I'd forgotten how the young can be arrogant in your presumed knowledge and have yet to mature. As for your friend, perhaps she's overestimated?"

the other woman purred in a tone of voice that was both seductive and dangerous at the same time.

"Not by be," Annabelle flashed back."from the very first moment I flirted with her in school, we never lost respect for each other. She got me pretty quickly when so many others saw me as the original wild child who couldn't be tamed."

"So you think you're so tough," came the lightning quick retort.

"Why do you come over as some kind of dyke Mrs Robinson as in the Graduate?" Simone said at last in soft wondering tones as she found her way into the conversation. It drew a gasp of astonishment from the audience as this razor sharp observation hit home.

"So how do you relate to some old seventies film of a straight guy who screws around with this older woman and then her daughter?" purred Miranda, secure in the knowledge that her facts were undeniable.

"That's not the point. I can really relate to that guy who's so lost, who does crazy things that makes no sense from the outside. I'd have been like him if I'd been as fucked up. I really love the music. 'The Sound of Silence" was the first song I ever learnt to play," Annabelle retorted, fighting back with a raw intensity which clashed against the languid, mannered style of her opponent whose cool was starting to fray at the edges.

While this accelerating drama was uncoiling itself, Nikki and Helen quietly opened the door to the bar. The fact that all attention was focussed on this confrontation suited their purposes as they wished to case the joint before making their presence known.

"You really don't come over as a gold star lesbian, do you," fired back Miranda.

"We define ourselves the way we want to," put in Simone."For example, I've loved the poems of Rilke and Walt Whitman for years because they have something to say to me , even when I was straight."

"Come on, chill out," called out a stranger in easy joking tones from behind their backs from the front of the bar," or else I'll have to set my prison governor lover on you to restore order. That is, unless I do it myself." Those quickest off the mark concluded that it could only be one of their guests, Nikki Wade making her arrival.

"I'm sorry we're late but not so late that our presence isn't needed," added a second voice in a contrasting accent. They turned around and there appeared before them, Helen Stewart with her bright smile,twinkling eyes and equal sense of command.

The effect of this twin presence was electric. The whole audience fell in love with the combination of Nikki's warm educated English tones rolling over the audience like honey

and Helen's contrasting Scottish brogue. Both voices were the sexiest voices that they'd heard in ages. Simone and Annabelle were as dumbstruck as the rest as these two women stepped outside their official portraiture in the most natural way imaginable. Soon Nikki and Helen were introduced to all the women in the group who gave off that suntanned Californian look with stylish clothes to match as they picked up names and faces. Even Miranda's sense of cool sophistication was stripped away from her as they were properly introduced and she felt as if a part of her was in danger of feeling like a blushing schoolgirl however much she covered up. In a split second moment of self-realisation, she knew that she'd got off on the wrong foot with Simone and Annabelle and she owed it to everyone to make a graceful public retreat. She also saw immediate possibilities in all four women making this gathering something really special and the mistress of ceremonies in her took charge in the way that she knew best how to perform for the benefit of them all. There was something of the actress in her but one that she deployed for all concerned though this time around her social instincts struggled to excavate herself from the hole she'd dug for herself. She made the right move at the right time to command centre stage.

"I really feel I ought to say a few words here. First of all, I offer a warm welcome to two of our very special sisters from England, Helen Stewart and Nikki Wade whose inspiring story, I feel, has only told the half of it and I'm sure we'd love to hear the rest if you wish to. You might have wondered just what you'd walked into. Believe me, our nights aren't that dramatic. Seriously though," and here Simone noticed the woman fiddle with her fingers as she laughed in a delicate, half embarrassed fashion as she reached the nub of her confession,"I should explain that as a thirty-something lesbian, I have very little experience of the rising generation so I did not anticipate a highly intelligent eighteen year old woman would give me so hard a fight in my favourite sport of argument. Even though the experience has been largely at my expense, it really gives me hope for the future. I should not overlook, Simone, how misleadingly mild-mannered you are and should have remembered that you're a teacher. We really want to welcome you both as part of our community and I want to ask both of you could you forgive me for my bad manners?"

Neither Simone nor Annabelle could resist this charmingly delivered apology and knew that behind her stylish mannerisms, she was being genuine. After all, she ran this bar for all their benefit so she was putting her money where her mouth was. Annabelle was the first to stand up and hug this very complex individual and Simone was glad to follow suit. This move was well made as the emotional backwash neatly pulled everyone into

the gathering.

"Hi Simone and Annabelle. Great that you could make it. This is my better half Jenny. Sorry I'm late everyone," called out a cheery voice from behind them, finally addressing the crowd in general.

Simone's mouth hung open as she turned round, hearing a familiar voice. She realised it was Sadie from the bank and how she'd changed. She was looking dark and mysterious, wearing a diaphanous pale turquoise off the shoulder dress and her hair hung long and free and slightly frizzed out. She was holding hands with a blond-haired woman who had that same eager innocence of an All American cheerleader, her cheeks fresh and glowing, her hair pulled up on top of her head and flowing down over her shoulders, wearing a white dress with subdued looking horizontal stripes and short sleeves.

"I've seen you before," Simone breathed as the shock of a fascinating discovery dawned on her. "Many months ago, I saw you in a restaurant. It was the one I took Annabelle to recently on our first meal out together. You might not have noticed me. That was in my straight days when I was stuck as part of a foursome figuring out how to escape."

"I remember," Sadie said as she did her best to focus her mind back in time. She brought up an image of that foursome with a very attractive fair-haired woman who looked very uncomfortable.

"So how do you want us to handle this thing, Miranda? I hope you aren't going to put us up on stage with spotlights and TV cameras trained on us,!" Nikki said light-heartedly. Annabelle's sharp eyes noted favourably how genuinely afraid she was of being put up on a pedestal and how she and Helen were as informal as any American and really meant it.

"No one's looking up my skirt either. That's reserved for Nikki," laughed Helen in her delightful fashion. It raised a general laugh which concealed stray thoughts of how fetching Helen looked in her short skirt and purple blouse which exposed a generous display of cleavage.

"What about moving chairs and tables around so we all sit in a circle and no one gets left out?" suggested Miranda in her masterful way."That feels friendly."

Instantly,the women set to work with a will, Helen and Nikki included and it gave them a nice little communal feel. Finally Nikki, dressed in a very smart black suit and crisp white shirt tapped the glass to gain attention.

"OK, suppose I kick off and tell it like it is. Some of you might have read about us so apologies in advance. I'd sooner go for feel than mathematic calculation any day," Nikki said lightly, gathering her thoughts together as she spoke."My partnership with Helen goes back a long way or so it feels so I know she'll fill in the gaps as we go along. When we're done, we would really love to hear Simone and Annabelle say something about about your experiences. We've read the press when we got here so I feel on a gut level that everything will relate."

"Is that OK with you both," Helen asked kindly, smiling that special smile on Simone and Annabelle. They nodded dumbly. Newcomers as they were, they'd obey the behests of these two wondrous visions anytime. A palpable feeling of support for them, Miranda especially, tipped the balance.


	32. Chapter 32

An hour or so before their expected arrival at the club, Helen put her thinking cap on and realised that they would have to do some preparatory work for this social evening. They'd relaxed and mellowed out too much so they were in danger of being hopelessly untogether.

"The thing is, do we present ourselves as a romantic lesbian love story or do we put in a bit of a plug for our organisation, for prison justice and for rights in general? We have to devise a master plan," Helen said as she passed Nikki a cigarette to help her drive. They were speeding ever onwards towards the glorious red sunset with a a fairly tight driving deadline to meet . They'd become accustomed to driving on the right side of the road and were whizzing along one of the interstate highways that conveniently bypassed them through the lush countryside and detached them from it like motorways do the world over.

"I'm surprised you haven't got out your clip board, flowcharts and written bullet points. How to inflict death by power point presentation in one easy move," Nikki answered. Her black humour that caused her to flip jokes from off the top of her imagination concealed her fears that Helen might latch on to such crazy ideas. She took a drag on her cigarette as potential doom and disaster flashed towards her along with a stream of oncoming headlights.

"Don't be such a spoilsport, sweetheart. You know how I really love these devices to clarify my thinking,"Helen answered, a wicked grin spreading across her face as she prolonged the agony."However, that would be going too far even for me."

"Thank God for that," Nikki fervently replied, feeling that the switch to the electric chair had been thrown at the very last minute.

"But we do need to throw some ideas around," pursued Helen relentlessly."You don't get off Scot-free."

At the precise moment when Nikki's jumbled thoughts were shocked into coalescence, she spotted a turn-off for a service station approach and clicked her indicators to indicate her intentions. Helen did not so much as raise her well-marked eyebrows. She knew very well that Nikki never did anything without good reason and didn't need to study her expression, barely illuminated by distant lights. Nikki swung the car round in a circle and stopped with a screech of tyres

"OK , here's how I see it. It's about the most unusual friendship that could ever have developed between me, the original hard case prisoner wanting to screw all rules and regulations and you, the idealistic wing governor who wanted rules and regulations to work for a reason and each of us finding the missing half in the other. It was about old fashioned romantic love and fighting for justice all at the same time. I thing we can wing it from there. I know we can. You scrawl that down on your notepad and we'll get on our way. Is that a fair compromise?"

A little grin curved Helen's lips in response. She picked out her notebook from the glove compartment, scrawled down the lines, kissed Nikki full on her lips and put her thumbs up for approval. Nikki gunned the engine and they roared out of the car park, causing idle observers to wonder what the hell those two crazy women were doing.

Twenty miles and half an hour further on down the road, they finally got their game plan together and saw the welcoming lights of the café in the gathering gloom. Like going to the dentist, Nikki was pleased that her forced induction into Helen's guide to structured planning hadn't been so painful after all.

As they let themselves in by the front door, they were mildly surprised that the centre of attention was focussed elsewhere. They had mentally prepared themselves for a typically enthusiastic American style reception. Shrugging their shoulders they headed to where the action obviously was. In the centre of a crowd of women, a growing argument was being ratcheted up, step at a time and the sharp tones of a angry women were particularly prominent.

"Jesus. That woman sounds like I used to be," exclaimed Nikki under her breath. She was a believer that first impressions could intuitively tell her the truth.

"Someone had better sort this out. It's getting out of hand," Helen said in worried tones. Her glance was met by Nikki's obvious visual answer.

"Guess it's down to the usual clean-up gang," Helen said with a smile on her face. As Nikki was a footstep or two ahead of her, Helen prepared herself to act as backup.

Immediately, the two women did a lightning appraisal of the situation and figured out that Annabelle Tillman and Simone Bradley whom they'd read about were at the centre of the argument and they were impressed. The dark haired woman at the centre of the argument gave off 'don't fuck with me' vibes which radiated off her in waves. As soon as they'd restored order, they saw how this hardness was visibly melting as she turned cute and bashful in front of their eyes as only Annabelle could. The very serene blond-haired woman who was next to be introduced early on in the proceedings seemed strangely affected. Finally, Miranda made a very graceful introduction and generous apology to Simone and Annabelle which impressed Nikki and Helen as she went out on a limb to build bridges. This place was all right, the two women concluded and the atmosphere of this bar didn't feel a million miles away from 'Chix' the club which Nikki had co-owned with Trisha a million miles away geographically.

Nikki and Helen had brightened up immediately on hearing Miranda's suggestion and gladly mucked in with helping rearrange all the tables and chairs. Helen knew that this would help soothe her partner's residual nerves, especially as Miranda had gestured to them both to take their places. Simone had been chatting away in a friendly fashion to the one woman she appeared to know in the club but suddenly fell silent as did the others.

"Hey, what's the commotion?" Nikki asked of Annabelle as she suddenly became aware of awestruck looks that were bestowed upon them. She had been happy mixing with the crowd and had asked for silence before launching into her introduction without thinking. She should have kicked off into her talk but for some unaccountable reason, she felt disorientated.

"You're the commotion, Nikki. It's not just that you're English and somehow exotic and different in a nice kind of way,"Annabelle answered in a way that impressed the short-haired woman with her razor sharp observation but scared her at the same time.

"Surely not, Annabelle. Hey, we're not celebrities. It's not as if we're going to hang around on the front pages of Hello or whatever dumb celebrity magazine you have around these parts. We've fluked our way into the gay press, that's all. It won't stay that way," protested Nikki. Helen knew that her partner suddenly felt awkward about being somehow on stage rather than chatting to equals but it wouldn't be right to barge in and take over. Annabelle picked up on the way these two women interacted and this won her admiration especially after their earlier Action Women intervention. To her jaundiced eye, her mother seemed to live forever in the public eye and never had the faintest idea as to how to live like an ordinary woman, let alone a mother. These women were so completely natural and Nikki's vulnerability was touching.

"Hey, don't let it throw you. Just say what comes natural to you,"Simone said serenely. She'd read how the English were modest and self-deprecating and Nikki seemed classically British to her in this respect. This was just the reassurance that Nikki needed and she was tremendously grateful for this act of kindness. Finally,she got her bearings, took a sip of wine to moisten her throat and,with the consciousness of her lover's support alongside her, she dived in head first.

"OK, so where do we start? It all happened in my third year in Larkhall women's prison about four years ago. It changed us both so much. I got life for stabbing a policeman who tried to rape my ex-girlfriend whom I'd lived with for nine years. In one sense, wrong copper, wrong place and wrong time or else I'd never so much as got a ticket for traffic violation. According to the bigoted, homophobic tabloid press, I still am a lesbian cop killer. In a higher sense, I still think I did the right thing. I'm sure you'll know that what's legal isn't necessarily moral and vice versa. Out talk tonight is about living and loving if need be against the grain of narrow minded small town values or what you learn in school. Our profound friendship and love remained secret or else Helen would have been fired for breach of prison regulations even though we were both trying to make prison a better place. I'll be honest, prison bars stay prison bars, loss of freedom is something you can't begin to imagine. Imagine inviting your loved one to 'come back to your place' but it's not the same as a nice romantic flat when it is a eight foot by five foot prison cell that a screw can enter any time he or she pleases. Prison is better when there's no favouritism for sexual services rendered, no discrimination by homophobes and most of all, no cover ups. Helen founded a lifer's group to give some hope for those banged up for life and most of all, arrange education opportunities such as the Open University degree which I studied in English. The crusading that Helen started hasn't been in vain because, although she was forced out of the prison service and I won my appeal and got my freedom, we're still working side by side for Women In Prison and being as much a pain in the arse to the reactionaries as we ever were. So this is where our love has taken us to where we are today_."_

" So how do you want us to handle things from now on? I mean, how many of you have read the Diva interview which is an English publication? It got a whole lot of things dead right?" Helen followed up politely, thinking on her feet as always. Seeing that her partner

really was uncomfortable at blowing her own trumpet, she changed their game plan.

"We've all read it,"Sadie said, intercepting looks from Simone and Annabelle."We'd love to ask questions if that's all right with everyone."

"Do you want fresh drinks passing over?"Miranda asked in her regal but kindly tones. It was touching to see her making up for earlier on in in trying be nice. There was a glow in her sharply defined features that showed that she was as smitten by her guests as much as anyone.

"Another glass of white wine please," Nikki said, her voice sounding husky from her talking. Sadie picked up two glasses from the bar which were passed round the tables, hand by hand to the two women who gratefully moistened their already dry throats while Nikki lit up a cigarette. Miranda gestured to the circle of women to speak but there was a certain strange diffidence amongst the alpha females that formed this mutually supporting circle.

"I've got one for either of you. Just how difficult was it for both of you to break ranks and just how unusual was your friendship when you first knew each other?" Simone finally asked in her soft quiet way

"That's a really good set of questions," Helen remarked, savouring the space this carefully wrought question offered."Most of the prison officers I was stuck with were backstabbing bastards. Normal organisational theory was useless so I looked for something more unorthodox. I saw Nikki was a natural leader whom the other women respected if only she would let down her barriers."

"I didn't make things easy for her. I was so bitter and twisted from being made the outcast, from being locked up for days in solitary confinement on a number of occasions that my attitude towards any authority figure was 'fuck you.' It took a lot for Helen to earn my trust,"chipped in Nikki whose casual reference to being sent down the block drew shocked gasps from the audience.

"My first though was that Nikki would be a great ally if I could only win her on side. I had no idea where it might lead," added Helen, by now leaving her notepad in her handbag. Nikki was right after all.

"Whose side?" Annabelle interjected quickly. Both women smiled appreciatively at another sharp-witted question. This helped them to get to the heart of the matter where they were most comfortable.

"I thought I could enlist her for my crusade as Nikki outlined earlier on but I came to realise that I had to see the world as Nikki saw it. It wasn't easy especially as, for the first time in life, I was falling in love with a woman. I can't properly describe the feelings of confusion I was going through but I suppose such experiences are universal to some extent. On top of this, I was stuck with being a good cop but a cop nevertheless while Nikki had always been the prisoner's spokeswoman when dealing out hard truths when talking out in the open was needed. Despite our best intentions otherwise, a riot broke out and it broke up our relationship for a short while. What made it worse was that the prison situation denied us the opportunity to really sit down and talk. How we got back together was nothing short of a miracle."

Helen's final passionate words resonated throughout the club and throughout their own inner spaces. It brought back the feelings of uncertainty as Nikki's appeal approached, Helen was dead set on her master plan to be rid of the embodiment of evil, Jim Fenner that misogynist conniver with whom she'd been locked in hatred and emnity from the word go with the world hanging on Nikki's appearance in court for her appeal for justice. She temporarily closed her eyes and they remembered.


	33. Chapter 33

As Helen's eyes opened, she took in the wave of sympathy from the crowd but in the centre was the wave of emotions that emanated through the caring expression in Simone's blue eyes and Annabelle's penetrating grey eyes. The blond haired woman acted perfectly naturally in moving forwards and folding the smaller guest in a gentle embrace. She felt intensely how Helen had gone to the wire and beyond in standing up for her beliefs. Annabelle's similar move to Nikki was a wide-eyed realisation that this tall Englishwoman was as strong and tender-hearted as she wanted to be and the reality of her time in prison was overwhelming especially in view of her own lover's nasty but thankfully short lived experiences. Sadie was quick to follow suit as she'd been deeply moved by the experiences laid out before her senses which were so intense that she'd doubted her ability to emotionally encompass them. Even Miranda cast aside her sophisticated façade and joined in the queue. This experience was, after all, everything she'd first dreamed of when she'd set up her club.

As Helen was finally brought back to a free floating present, high on loving emotions, she knew how she and Nikki had related so much to these other women's lives. It had been such a random but certain trail of events that had led these four women to finally meet right from when she and Nikki had first speculated about when they'd read that throwaway newspaper.

"Don't you find that long term relationships destroy your individuality, that you make too many compromises just to please the other? Far too often, there's the urge to merge in lesbian relationships which is why I prefer to stay free and single. I'm an artist and I have my own studio. Perhaps you care to come round some time," a challenging voice called out from a fair-haired woman looking straight into Helen's eyes. She'd been at the back of the crowd until she'd made her move to slip towards the front. The barefaced cheek of the remark rendered Helen temporarily speechless.

Simone gasped with shock as she turned round to face one of her former students, Michelle Peters who had pursued her so ardently a year ago by passing notes to her in class. She'd certainly changed her style and was hard and cynical instead of gushingly romantic as she used to be. This interjection annoyed Nikki as she'd come across similar attitudes in the past. Just what the hell was this woman doing in making sweeping generalisations which could so easily justify betrayals like the 'two faced tarts' she'd come across in her past? She saw the pained expression on Simone's face, deduced where that dart was aimed at and took up the cudgels in their joint defence.

"Thanks for listening to us, whoever you are. Don't mind us spoiling the show and talking about social realism and how women's lives get messed up by an unjust system," Helen shot back with an incendiary stare that made Michelle Peters flinch.

"We're talking about paying our dues- it happened to us and we didn't choose it. If you're going to talk about relationships and completely ignore a prison with thick stone walls right round it ten feet high keeping you apart from your nearest and dearest, you need to consider that opposites can attract, like Mulder and Scully as in the X-files." retorted Nikki with blunt forceful logic."We're fans of that series as it appeals to the mysterious and the unknown. I'm the emotional intuitive one like Mulder even though he's a guy and Helen's the analytical rational one just like Scully, incidentally a great reversal of conventional stereotypes. I'm most at home in jeans and trainers and Helen likes dressing up as you can see but we both have strong, distinct personalities. We communicate because we know how to meet in the middle. We went through hell and high water to get to where we are now. It was no casual one night stand in a club that's so easily possible. Together, we're unbeatable," Nikki declaimed clearly and proudly, the light of battle glowing in her eyes. Spontaneous applause rippled round the circle of women as these trenchant truths were laid down while a red faced Michelle Peters scowled in anger and quietly slipped off. Miranda let a little time pass for emotions to well up in support of these two strong-minded women who had that appealing air of ordinariness about them.

further questions and points raised were much more sympathetic and the two women eased into replying and expanding on their contributions in a relaxed manner.

"We're really lucky tonight to have two friends of ours drop in from across the Atlantic. What would really make this evening unique would be if Simone and Annabelle say a few words as all we've heard about them has been through the tabloids. I feel there's a common theme we could all explore together,"Miranda intervened claiming centre stage when the cross talk gradually fizzled to a halt.

While the group had asked questions of these visitors from foreign shores, the two women had suspected that this was coming and Simone's right hand had interlocked with Annabelle's left hand nervously. Some instinct prompted them to silently ask questions of themselves so as to ease them into making their own contribution. Somehow, tensed up as they were, they felt as if they were at the point of being just about to go on stage. They were as prepared as they ever would be and the audience awaited them. Nikki and Helen smiled encouragement at them with all the kindness of the world in their eyes. They knew Miranda would hold the ring to make this good for them. Suddenly, Alison and Vanessa appeared out of nowhere so two more friendly faces gave them reassurance. Sadie and her girlfriend Jenny waved genially in their direction from the far side of the circle.

"You start darling," Annabelle said, leaning shyly over to whisper into Simone's ear."I'll join in whenever."

Thus it was that Simone started to speak, drawing comfort from the fact that the situation of an attractive high school English teacher was a familiar experience for her audience to identify with. If the audience had grasped the reality of some faraway English prison where that extreme loss of freedom might be very hard to imagine, their situation should be a lot easier for the others to relate to. What buoyed her up was tonight, was her darling lover next to her and also that these women's sensitivities were wide open. Simone's smooth, slow voice transported the audience to everyone's archetypal girls school where all of them had undergone the irresistibly attractive, sometimes terrifying sensation of being drawn along the path where instincts led the way. The fair-haired woman was halfway tempted to stand up and stroll about the way she has as a teacher at St Theresa's but sitting as part of the circle felt better, a circle which would and must not be broken. As promised, Annabelle gently interposed her part of their shared story when the time felt right and she took up the slack. Gradually, the whole experience built up as if they were viewing this story on a cinema screen. Nikki and Helen were incredibly moved by the courage of these two women as they tried to find their way through their own conundrums

"You mean to say, Annabelle it was actually a criminal matter for you and Simone to make love when you were under eighteen? "questioned Helen incredulously.

"In England, the teacher could well lose her job if she was caught out but no more," added Nikki by way of helpful explanation.

"All it took was a jealous bitch called Cat Pegrum who'd hit on me before, who wanted to use me as her science project while she could carry on dating guys," Annabelle said bitterly.

"That is such a bad deal, Annabelle," Nikki answered, her voice overflowing with sympathy."I got expelled from boarding school and disowned by my parents when I was sixteen because a girl I didn't like got jealous of me and my first lover. We were all in the same form and I know how rivalries get sort of compressed in closed institutions. I still got dumped in the shit as I've always been upfront. "

That emotional bombshell that could only come from shared intimacy sparked off a beautifully mutually supportive set of conversations which somehow meshed in together and left no one out. Simone and Annabelle navigated their river of experiences as they threaded their way through their biography that went on well into the night. Finally, it started to peter out and the women started to circulate and chat in a pleasant, informal way. The evening became the kind when snatches of interesting conversations wafted their way round the room, equally to overhear as to take part in as the women circulated. During the middle of it, Annabelle passed by Miranda and noticed a smile stealing across her face as she passed a drink over to her and Simone.

"You've got a really nice smile. I'm really glad we aren't going to end up as enemies. You may be surprised to hear it but life's too short for unnecessary bullshit, mine as much as anyone's," Annabelle remarked with typical candour.

"_'_Dyke Mrs Robinson',"Miranda said with a soft laugh which was sparked by this young woman's refreshing candour and intelligence."Where did you get that line from, Annabelle? I'll let you into a secret but a long time ago, she struck me as the original sexy older woman and really wasted on the guy and as for her husband..."

The younger woman laughed out loud at the memory of the uptight corporate man who could so easily be one of her mother's friends.

"Such an asshole. I've seen his kind before," Annabelle commented acerbically.

"I've done my best to escape his kind. Mrs Robinson was supposed to be such a wicked woman yet I adore her. It means there's hope for me yet,"Miranda said, her voice tailing off on a slightly disconsolate note. The sharp-eyed younger woman figured out that this formidable woman has a vulnerable, lonely side to her.

Nikki approached Miranda with a touching nervousness of manner that surprised the self-assured woman. Neither she or Helen were on any kind of star trip which was the most appealing side of their personalities.

"Miranda, do you have a daytime hangout we can meet you guys at? We've only got another week or so before we have to fly back to England but we would make time for you all," she asked.

"What about the bar round the corner from the bank where I work? Simone and Annabelle know where it is," suggested Sadie to a nod of satisfaction from Miranda. They would get word for more than the normal handful to turn up any lunchtime they care to name.

"We're coming this way on Monday lunchtime if that's OK. Er, talking about Simone and Annabelle, Helen fixed up for us to go over to their place on Saturday night. We're not treading on anyone's toes are we?" Miranda could have loved this woman in another era she was so touchingly considerate as she sought to reassure her.

"Of course you're not. You and Helen are on holiday, remember? The time is yours. You've done so well in making this evening so memorable."

"Oh yeah, so we have," Nikki answered in her charmingly confused fashion. She'd got into the mindset of scheduling their holiday to ensure there was enough of them to go round when all the time it was their holiday and the time was their own.

In the meantime, Annabelle and Simone were having a great time, a nice golden haze in their systems partly due to the wine they'd been drinking. The atmosphere was already buzzing thanks to the soft music pulsing round the bar and the succession of emotional experiences and great conversations. The lights were low and women were fondly embracing in the corners. She and Simone exchanged loving looks as Annabelle boldly slid her arm round her lover's waist. She knew more than anything that the open exchange of intimacy was only really possible outside their house in this sort of environment and they knew that they were going to be part of this scene. It was certainly very accepting of them. A thought suddenly popped into the head of the younger woman as she realised that this scene might also be the source of help for the next stage in their life project.

"Hey Simone, what about checking out if anyone knows of a bass player and a drummer for our band? You know we need more than our two guitars."

"Your wish is our command," said Sadie from behind them."I can introduce you to Diane and Erin, better known as the Rhythm Sisters. They want to work with some class singers and writers."

Simone and Annabelle spun round, open mouthed as their dreams has suddenly become reality. Their first impression of these two women were good as they all started to chat away to each other...

Finally, the time came when the bar had to close and everyone started to stream out into the cool night air. It was really, really late. Simone and Annabelle stumbled along to their car alongside Helen whose arm lovingly encircled Nikki's waist. They'd been on an emotional high from engaging in interesting conversations with really interesting women so that, in the quietness of the night, snatches of them replayed themselves. Somehow it was fitting that these two visitors from distant shores happened to reconnect with their two most thoughtful questioners.

"You know, I can't believe you got through your troubles and came through the other side. They seem so huge," Simone said reflectively. t was in keeping with her that she had mulled over these intense experiences she'd come across and returned to them again.

"So do we looking back on it all," Nikki replied with a humorous edge."We were becoming the women we are right now and it wasn't easy going through heavy changes. That's what everyone should do."

"Makes sense to us. We're aspiring musicians," Annabelle commented. Both she and Simone had taken in this advice and absorbed it deeply.

"We were trapped in roles of prisoner and prison officer. Now, we have a semi-official existence as critics of the prison system and pool our knowledge to give practical help. I feel almost sorry for that woman who was talking about the free life. She just doesn't get it," Helen observed compassionately, obviously referring to Michelle Peters. She'd got her anger out of her system.

"There's more to it than that, Helen. There was all that bollocks was about 'can I show you my etchings?' That's the oldest chat up line in the book from some predatory young woman with intellectual bullshit. Real love, real intelligence, real caring feelings are something else," Nikki answered and Simone smiled to herself, having known the other woman of old.

"You mean they're all connected," interjected Annabelle, feeling more and more at home with these two comfortable down to earth women..

"Most people compartmentalise. They don't see connections where, at heart there are,"Simone continued in her soft gentle voice.

The older women smiled. These two Americans were women after their own hearts. They really took a shine to them and their minds were made up.

"She'll be all right," Nikki said in her laconic fashion."She's certainly not stupid. She really needs to know that she doesn't know everything in this world and when she does, she won't be so full of herself. She needs someone to give her a good kick up the backside and then she'll understand."

"And you're the one to give it her," grinned Helen good naturedly."That's why we accepted your kind invitation to come to your place on Sunday night. We want to carry on where we've left off tonight."

The two women arrived at their car and stumbled inside. They waved to the other women who were doing the same. They were tired out and happy and ready for the long journey home and their welcoming bed.


	34. Chapter 34

"That was a hell of a party last night,"croaked an approximation of the voice Simone knew and loved so much. Both women were dead to the world till well into the morning and lay comatose in bed, lying on their backs. Both women felt totally drained and were ravenously thirsty, their mouths dry and parched. Right above their heads, the white ceiling hovered overhead. Both women were placed in a quandary which their muzzy state stopped from verbalising until Annabelle finally got there.

"I know we're dehydrated darling but I haven't got the energy to get us some water. I know it sucks but I can't do it."

"I'll get it, honey," Simone said weakly, hoping that her gallantry wasn't going to be let down by her utter exhaustion."At least I'll try to."

The slim form topped by ruffled fair hair stumbled out of bed towards the kitchen and somehow, her eyesight, not good at close range, spotted two bottles of mineral water. She grabbed them and fell into bed next to Annabelle. The younger woman muttered thanks and, like Simone, glugged at the water bottle. Instantly, a feeling of refreshment spread through them both as the ice-cold water spread through their systems. They still felt tired but they felt brought back to life.

"That was the most amazing evening last night. Did we really do and say everything last night that I think we did? I keep seeing fragments of images coming back and it can't be real."

Simone gave a broad smile as she reached over to the bedside table. She was sure that a crumpled envelope would be there where she'd laid it last night. What made it special was that she was sure that there would be an inscription on it in Nikki's regular flowing script, unless she'd fantasised it. The feeling of well-being that coursed through her was that sometimes, reality reached out beyond fantasy's fevered imaginings of what might be.

"Darling, you tell me what's written on the envelope. I'm sure I'm not imagining things."

Annabelle rested her head on the pillow and her eyes nearly popped out of her head as the magical inscription appeared before her eyes. For once in her life, she was speechless as a really soppy smile spread across her face. She held the envelope and her eyes were riveted on the spectacle. 'To Simone and Annabelle- From two special fans of yours. Love Nikki and Helen XX'

"Wow," was all she could say. The words,"Hey, that's unbelievable" emerged a full two minutes later.

"They're really lovely women, really kind,"Simone said dreamily, her radiant smile making her look younger than her years."I can't believe they wrote that for us."

"They meant it," Annabelle said looking through into the clear horizon."Every word they said and every word they wrote come straight from the heart. They're that kind of women. We've just got to frame this letter."

It was in such a mood of tranquillity of the soul that the morning slowly slipped forward

as they sat out on the balcony drinking tea as befitted the mood. The soothing sound of the breakers on the beach added to their sense of timelessness.

"Hey, aren't Erin and Diane coming round? I mean, we couldn't have all our dreams come true," Simone said with that vague sense that whatever was going to happen would happen at the right place and the right time. Normally, she'd conscientiously worry that she'd plan everything right but this time, it never crossed her mind that they would be otherwise than right on time.

"So they are,"Annabelle answered in an equally blissed out frame of mind just as the buzzing sound of a mobile phone was the precursor that their new friends were ten minutes away, speeding up the coastal road even as they spoke.

Thus it was that there was a polite knock rap on the glass front door and Simone floated forwards to the front door to let in their guests. Smiling, they went into the living room where they greeted each other warmly. It was obvious that all four women were still full of the good atmosphere of the previous night. It was only this morning that the two women really had the chance to take in these two prospective fellow musicians as the crowded darkness of the club had precluded anything beyond exchanging names and basic details. Erin was a short, slim woman dressed in jeans, trainers and T-shirt, shortish cropped hair falling over her eyes with a firm handshake. Diane was taller, ling limbed with longer floppy fair hair and a cheerful smile.

"You're the drummer, right?" hazarded Annabelle, deducing that the stronger looking short-haired woman must be the drummer. She looked how a drummer should look like, imagining her flailing away at her drum kit.

"Wrong," laughed Erin, her blue eyes twinkling."Everyone makes that mistake."

"I'm stronger than I look, believe me. The only reason we're off noisy shit is well because

it's noisy shit. We hate easy listening manure so we want some real songs to play with, something creative," Diane said with her penetrating eyes looking into theirs.

"She said it. She's the boss in our relationship," quipped Erin humorously.

"I really like the sound of that. We didn't know we had that kind of concept even if we've been playing along with it until you put it into words," Simone said in her gentle fashion.

"Creative? The creation sounds like a good name," Annabelle said, her gaze looking towards far horizons.

A definite spark leaped between the four women of psychic electricity. They liked each other immediately. Neither of them had known or predicted how this situation had come about but there it was. It had jumped out in front of them from thin air. They had the makings of a foursome and a band name.

"OK, so let's get together and start playing," Simone said enthusiastically, clapping her hands together once, making Annabelle think affectionately of the teacher she'd been.

"Trouble is,"Diane said with a rueful expression on her face shared by Erin."We didn't count on manhandling our kit down that long pathway of yours."

"Of course we'll help you,"Annabelle replied instantly with her natural generosity of spirit."We wouldn't think of sitting around while you guys sweated all your stuff down here. The four of us makes it twice as easy as two. Besides, we'd better get used to being our own roadies."

"You've said it," grinned Erin, knowing mischievously how bulky a disassembled drum kit was even with her small practice amplifier she'd brought along. Underneath it all, she and Diane were touched by their new friends' willingness to muck in. It was a good sign for the future.

Three quarters of an hour later after the four of them had manhandled the gear down the path and manoeuvred it into their house, Simone watched with interest to see the drum kit being set up and studying Erin's gleaming functional amplifier and her purple bass guitar. She and Annabelle looked at each other but said nothing. This was the point of no return beyond which they couldn't go back. Diane spotted their two friend's obvious nervousness and decided someone had to make a move so it might as well be her.

"OK you guys, so what if you imagine we're your audience and you really want to slay us with songs that come straight from your hearts. Let's face it, you'd never have asked us to come over if you didn't believe in yourselves."

Diane's smile and her fresh faced blond looks really put Simone and Annabelle at their ease and they quickly conversed on the song that meant the most and finally

"This feels weird. I wrote this song for Simone as my plea for her love since I was a senior at St Theresa's and she was my teacher which was a strict no no while I was just under eighteen,"said Annabelle with a rush of words.

"It is our best song. I can see other women liking it but still..." broke in Simone.

"It's just that we feel strange in singing it other than to each other," finished off Annabelle, colouring slightly as she saw the way the wind was blowing.

"Didn't every song from every confessional singer songwriter start that way?" Erin said with a gentleness that only Diane knew existed within her.

"Come on, I'm really curious now when you guys act shy,"was her sly contribution which she instantly regretted as she'd obviously touched a sensitive nerve. Their friends had their guitar straps slung round their necks and had prepared to play their song as if to friends but their embarrassment revealed their in serious danger of being unable to make even that small step towards centre stage.

"I'm really sorry, you guys. You need to figure out a context for this song so you're helping out those in the audience who are struggling with what you guys went through."

These words grabbed Simone's attention. They made sense to her. Softly she stroked Annabelle's cheek and murmured words into her ear. Finally, the younger woman announced that they really were ready to play to the audience of Diane sat behind her drum kit, loosely holding her drum brushes and Erin with her bass guitar resting on her knee.

"OK, Annabelle clearly articulated with a sideways look at her fair haired accomplice who looked a little flush faced, highly attuned. "We really will do it this time."

Erin watched with fascination how Annabelle started finger picking a beautiful sounding melody line, nicely buttressed in seconds by Simone's dependable rhythm chording instantly setting the template of their different styles as Erin's and Diane's ears were attuned to. This sounds interesting, they thought as both women gently eased into their song. This time, Simone's sweet high notes were buttressed from below by the dark-haired woman's plaintive expressive tones as they sang their song of forbidden love. This is what we wanted, Erin's thought flashed over to her partner's as they appraised these two women's contrasting talents which meshed so well together. As the words of the song crept into their consciousness, they fell in love with the music.

Without thinking, Erin plucked soft bass notes that underpinned the two interlocked acoustic guitars which was fortunately turned down low. Annabelle felt in her core the bass sounds which should have been there all along and smiled firstly at Simone's evident approval and then at their friend. Just as they came to the last chorus, Diane's brushes gently painted in rhythms like the waves breaking softly on the beach and the song suddenly jumped up in front of Annabelle, enhanced, and given new dimensions than her original acoustic sketch had suggested. She felt as if she was apart from the song yet at the heart of it at the same time. The question in her mind as to whether her three friends felt the same was swiftly answered.

"So, do you like the song?" Simone said with a little shy smile on her face, their first ever audience having been mysteriously transformed into part of their band. She felt pleased as their song had turned into something else that she couldn't describe except that it felt

good.

"We wouldn't have been playing if we didn't like it," Erin said softly, her face all aglow. She wondered to herself as to whether or not it was what she'd been searching for all along when she'd been first bitten by the music bug,.

"I don't wanna be like some kind of drum machine like some of those morons want me to be. This stuff feels right. Can we play the song again only we'll come in from the beginning?" Diane said, everything about her looking energised.

When Simone and Annabelle started the song again, all four women were there from the beginning and their performance was edged with more confidence, more boldness. Simone felt greater forcefulness pulse through her tones and rhythms as Erin buttressed her from underneath while Annabelle felt freer to pick out intricate patterns of notes, knowing that she wasn't going to fall while Diane's whooshing of the brushes pulsed backwards and forwards with a definite rock and roll rhythm that was never there before. It transformed the song especially as Erin added some harmonies low down into the mix of voices which pulled the balance of the song just right. Finally, they rode the song to its end past the final chorus when Diane's brushes described a fading final flourish or two as Erin's bass buzzed out a finale of some random jazzy notes while Simone's and Annabelle's acoustic guitar tinkles faded out into the ether.

As silence fell on the air, the four women felt as if they'd been transported out of themselves to a different and wonderful place. Their lips were parted and their eyes were wide open and all their senses felt sharp, new born as they reflected on the shared experience.

"Don't know about you guys but I'm hungry," Annabelle suddenly said after a couple of hours of intensive music making as they tried out the rest of the repertoire and customised it to their friends' specifications."We'll cook something for you."

"Oh no you don't Annabelle," Erin said forcefully."We play together. We cook together."

A wide smile spread across Simone's face. This was the ideal magical response from their two new friends much as their playing had been.

"I bet you thought you might be too laid back for us," Diane softly asked, sitting round the table and eating the delicious concoction of spices and salads."What we said at the start was for real."

"We know," Simone and Annabelle chorussed."Everything feels real to us right now."


	35. Chapter 35

Both women awoke to the feeling of a sense of purpose pulsing through their lives after

the past weeks of blissful low key living of languorous love-making, tending to day to day living and wandering on the beach hand in hand. Letting fate decide what the day had in mind for them and settling down between the sheets at night-time in a glorious state of nakedness was inexpressibly glorious. They knew that this had to change, to sense out their shared purpose in life with others who shared their universe.

"You know sweetheart we're going to get really busy. Things are changing,"Simone said thoughtfully as she sat on a stool in front of her mirror to put on her make-up. The bedroom mirror provided an interesting reversed image of the reality of their living space so she saw Annabelle pad softly up to her from behind but blissfully felt her lover's soft arms wrap themselves round her waist."Not that making love with you will ever get crowded out," she added

"You really want to be a rock and roll star then?" the younger woman said with a worrying tone of certainty in her voice as the question took Simone aback. She had never thought to ask herself that question before.

"I, I don't know, Annabelle,"Simone said hesitantly, seeking comfort from her lover's arms encircling her."Getting my singing and playing beyond the embarrassment factor and keeping up with you guys is enough for me right now. I know we'll have to hit the stage sometime."

"So how do you see us all in the future?" Annabelle said gently. Before she'd started school at St Theresa's she'd only performed with random bunches of musicians before going on to play with Cat Pegrum's brother's band at the end of year concert so she had dreamed her dreams longer than her lover had. She understood that Simone had a different perspective and respected it. Simone laid aside her lipstick and contemplated the question for a while as she felt her partner's loving presence as she laid soft kisses on her neck while her4 silence gave her space to develop her thoughts. She'd only thought in terms of being a fledgling songwriter, a singer and a competent guitarist in no particular order. Annabelle was pointing the way forward to an unreal fantasy vision of themselves or was there more in the four of them than first appeared to be the case?

"A band of sisters for a start and always remaining so,"Simone said in definite tones, speaking both into the mirror and to the reflected reality behind them."I want us to play our songs to women who can relate to our reality. I just haven't thought in terms of playing the Santa Monica Civic just yet. We need to work ourselves gradually up the hill and see where it takes us."

Simone's interesting and honest mix of certainty and uncertainty won Annabelle's heart all over again. It was what she wanted to hear as she laughed softly into her girlfriend's ear. ""Come here sweetheart. I just want to spoil your make-up so you end up having to redo it."

Simone happily turned round and let Annabelle settle on her lap. She did think she'd been a bit premature in getting out of bed so early without ministering to the ample needs of her lover who was busy sliding her green T-shirt over her head so that no obstacles remained between each other.

As the time crept onwards to Nikki and Helen's estimated time of arrival, Simone grew visibly more nervous and compulsively dusted the furniture and straightened the pictures.

"Hey relax," Annabelle's soothing voice broke in as her hands draped themselves on the tensed up shoulders."Those two British women are regular guys, believe me. They'll accept us as we are."

"I know," Simone said with downcast eyes, her face expressionless. Annabelle knew of old that her partner wasn't saying everything she felt.

"Honey why are you so scared? You can't really think Nikki and Helen will let us down? If they give their word on something, they give their hearts also. You know it really."

The younger woman's soft gentle gaze and her infinitely caring, infinitely soothing voice got through the wall of irrational panic that had suddenly raised itself around Simone. She nodded her head . Of course what Annabelle said was the certain truth. Their two new friends could be better trusted to hold its value than the American Dollar with all the gold reserves behind it.

"You're right," Simone said , exhaling a long breath of relief and she continued in rapid, confident tones."All we need is to have drinks and some party food and, most of all, ourselves."

After half an hour's bustling round the kitchen when they'd rustled up what they wanted, Simone's mobile beeped and Nikki's cheerful voice sounded in her ear, announcing their estimated time of arrival according to their latest gizmo, the Satnav. Sure enough, the two women could hear the rapid clattering sounds of heels on the wooden boards, excited chattering sounds of friendly voices and, lo and behold, their two friends appeared in the space that opened up before them, looking happy and glowing.

Simone and Annabelle opened their eyes wide and joyfully made it real to themselves that their experiences of their night out weren't some glorious but unreal fantasy experience, only to fade with the onset of daylight's reality. Nikki and Helen were exactly as they remembered if a little more casual and windswept. Nikki's blue jeans emphasised her lean physique and her sleeveless orange T-shirt showed off her suntan to superb advantage. Helen's summery dress, cut well above her knee was divinely shaped around her. After the pause, Helen guessed their thoughts as their friends seemed to hang back in an uncharacteristically shy fashion. This was the first of the series of slide-show images which the day moved through in lazily moving sequences for all of them.

"Nikki's such a sucker for driving real American convertible automobiles," Helen explained in her lively fashion. This broke the ice and which prompted them to exchange preliminary greetings and hugs.

"Helen and I share our very sensible red Peugeot car back in London. If we had a convertible back in England, the hood would be way more up than down. We'd be sure to get drowned on the first halfway sunny day which would really tempt fate for the weather to turn on us. This is one of my fantasies made real,"added Nikki with a soulful look in her eyes.

The two women's friendliness had that delightful effect of making them feel that there was only an invisible join between their last conversation and this one which carried on effortlessly from where the other had left off.

"Your British weather is that changeable?"Annabelle asked with a charming wide-eyed innocence that made her chew on her lip in embarrassment as she heard herself speak. Fortunately, Helen came to her rescue.

" 'They say it never rains in Southern California,'" quoted Helen with enthusiasm."I'm loving all this sun-tanned lifestyle over here, especially that night at Chico's. We were really made welcome."

"We're very traditional in our way, Helen and I," Nikki continued in her sprightly fashion with gentle irony,"but that doesn't mean that we have any trouble getting out and immersing ourselves in another culture. I for one have daydreamed about coming out here for years."

"I can really relate to that,"Simone slowly answered in her soulful fashion."I've had years of being first a pupil and then a teacher in a catholic school and I know it's so easy to settle into a comfort space and turn your back on the world. Luckily for me, Annabelle has more nerve than I have."

"Honey I haven't," protested Annabelle sweetly."You're the quietly determined one. There's nothing you can't do if you set your mind to it. You've proved it to me often enough."

The soft wind, the sun shining down on them all agreed with this female spirit who had come back to her home with her new love. The atmosphere felt good to them all.

"Do you want something to eat or drink? Do you want to sit out on the front porch?"Annabelle quietly suggested. It seemed a good idea and the couch was big enough for them all as they sipped fruit juices while the sun and the rhythms of the sea blessed them all while they chatted .

"Hey, how come I never saw your library before?" exclaimed Nikki a little while later, a fascinated glitter of a bibliophile in her eyes as they drifted inside. She had suddenly spotted the well stocked shelves "I must be really chilled out or otherwise, the first thing I notice in someone's house is the book and music collection or lack of it. It says something about the woman."

"Sure. I couldn't agree more," Simone agreed, a wide smile on her face. If nothing else, the two women were kindred souls in this respect.

"You don't mind if I look and see what you've got. Don't worry, I won't steal anything," Nikki said with an appealing look in her eyes while Helen looked on fondly. She knew of old the reverence Nikki had for books.

"Of course you can Nikki. This is such a compliment," Simone responded with outstretched arms a broad smile of appreciation spreading across her face as Nikki quickly squatted on the floor.

"Hey, you've got the 'Great Love Poems' collections. That's the first book I ever got when I first started my open university course,"Nikki said excitedly as she leafed her way through the sister volume to the one that was unaccountably left on her bookshelf back home."I should have brought it with me."

"I suppose you're going to say it's all my fault," laughed Helen, hands on her hips in a challenging pose." Have you any idea of the weight of books you made me pack even though you knew bloody well you'd lap up the cream of the books over here which you did? We're going to have to pay a fortune in excess baggage."

"Aren't you interested as well?" Nikki asked in a small, innocent voice while Annabelle and Simone fell about in helpless laughter at the humour in Helen's mock scolding, something that the lurking smile at the corner of her lips also acknowledged.

"Of course I am. I want to see Simone and Annabelle's books only I'm not so greedy," Helen retorted in her insouciant fashion. It didn't take her very long to take her place behind Nikki. Annabelle was intrigued enough to be happy to pick up the books Helen had handled and the two women had discussed. The younger woman relished the fact that yet more facets of her lover were revealed that she hadn't come across before. It meant that there was all eternity to discover fresh facets of this intriguingly guarded of women.


	36. Chapter 36

"I remember being in my bedroom late at night and sitting on the sofa when Annabelle's flirting went to a whole other level," Simone volunteered in an animated fashion in the middle of a lively conversation.

By this time, they'd eaten and drank together and the brilliant golden rays of the overhead sun had mutated so that a gentle reddish glow was pitched at a sharp angle into the front room. They'd got to the point when keeping up a guard was a ridiculous notion so getting round to talking of more intimate matters was as natural as putting one foot ahead of the other.

"Tell us more. You've heard me explain how Nikki first started to lure me off the straight and narrow, a daughter of the manse and all that. That's Scottish for rectory," Helen responded, a mischievous glint in her eye. The religious parallel struck home for Simone.

"My thoughts were a million miles away, all over the place when who should politely knock on my bedroom door but the one person about whom my thoughts had been really swimming around in ever decreasing circles. Of course, I daren't admit it to myself but my insides felt some funny little sensations as the crack in the door opened. I told her she shouldn't be there but I didn't even convince myself."

As Simone made her final confession in her appealingly wry sense of humour, it was right up the street of the two British women who warmed to her while Annabelle looked on lovingly.

"I know how it feels. It's like learning a whole other language of life," laughed Helen in sympathy with Simone's pretty flush of embarrassment at her former naivety.

"Then this cheeky woman made up this story to ask me questions about what's 'appropriate behaviour on a first date, including a girl girl type date, you know, just to check I was interested. Of course, I , being the older woman of the world was nervous and flustered especially when Annabelle said that Cat Pegrum had kissed her but she wasn't Annabelle's type."

"Leaving open the every interesting question as to what is your type," grinned Nikki, a spark of mischief in her expressive eyes."Definitely ten out of ten for style, Annabelle."

"I was fiddling with this crucifix I used to wear round my neck and of course, this sharp-eyed one had to comment on my 'nervous habit' so her next words were 'Do I make you nervous?' as she ran fingers along my collarbone."

"Oh God, how sexy was that?" Helen said in her full accented voice, her green eyes glinting with mischievous as was her perfect smile.

"And then I turned round and went back to my dorm. I'd pushed her far enough. I wouldn't be fair otherwise," Annabelle said in a small voice and downcast eyes, her words quickening as she sought to justify herself from her own unspoken thoughts.

"Don't worry, we can see and feel what you did," stepped in Nikki's warm sympathetic voice which answered the other woman's uncertainties. She knew instinctively that their friends had never revisited this scene in what she gathered of their problematic courtship.

"I had been seriously not getting how Nikki felt about me so she had to express it in ways that I couldn't overlook so I, shock horror instant revelation time went into wing governor mode and told her some rubbish about Nikki going out of her way to make me feel uncomfortable. Lo and behold, I needed to look her up in the library so the dialogue ran something like this.'This is difficult for me as I think you know,' I said. Of course I bloody well knew what the matter was but couldn't verbalise it. I couldn't talk straight but Nikki knew what I was thinking,"Helen answered in reflective tones.

"'So what do you want? Sorry, am I making you feel uncomfortable' this smartarse said. I felt sorry afterwards for twisting the knife but I had got so sexually frustrated by that point. I had a really bad habit of being tactless and generally shooting my mouth off."

"You were always a real softie under the surface as I started to realise when Nikki dropped her guard. Of course, I know what a real romantic she is," Helen said tenderly to which Nikki responded by squeezing her hand. The mood was soft and mellow and Simone and Annabelle felt uniquely privileged to be drawn into their world.

"Formal institutions are really picky about titles, not that there's any reason for them. They really want authority figures to come over as tin gods. I suppose you find the same thing,"Nikki said in soft reflective tones as she reached for a cigarette.

"So, I guess by then you called her Helen, not Miss Stewart," Annabelle answered, holding her lighter to the cigarette end.

"Like she started calling me Simone, not Miss Bradley. I remember when she first called me that on the beach outside when she took that picture of me on that spring holiday break."

Helen and Nikki could see the glowing happiness radiate from the photograph which was true for her then as it was now as she was draped around Simone. They could feel how much in love these two women were and from the moment they stepped through the front door, the atmosphere felt warm and welcoming and totally right.

"You know we have to become part of the Chico's scene- and everything that goes with it," Annabelle said a little sadly as their conversation meandered wherever the four of them lazily guided it. The shadows were gradually lengthening by then.

"I know exactly what you're getting at. I've probably told you before that I ran a lesbian club with Trisha, my ex and our very good friend," put in Nikki as a wealth of memories flooded back to her of another time, another place.

"What do you mean?" Simone said, her brow furrowed in puzzlement.

"Something about Miranda disturbed me," said Helen slowly, groping blindly for something she could sense but not see."She's undeniably an attractive woman, smart, abrasive but kind-heated deep down and definitely lonely. I could feel her reaching out of the soulless loneliness. She could seduce most women she set her eye on and she made a dead set at me. Big mistake."

"Helen knows that Trisha and I ran Chix as a long term commitment, in both respects and how come we broke up. The thing is that Helen and I had become ready for a long term commitment after we properly connected. We still go out to Chix but just to meet our friends."

"I've been around far less than Nikki," put in Helen."We both see those women looking out for something in their lives which gives them meaning, that gets away from loneliness and isolation in the big city. We've seen relationships break up and exes left behind go on to form new relationships until it all becomes a sexual merry go round. It looks nice and understanding or seething with hurt and hatreds. Coming from a history of straight relationships before Nikki, it can be both attractive and weird at the same time. I hope I never have to go through it."

"When you come out in your teens or whatever and move to the big city, there's a danger of acting like a kid in a sweetshop, a candy store I guess you call it. The danger is that it can lay down habits that are hard to break and that's Miranda. That's what you felt, darling," Nikki concluded, turning tenderly towards her lover to embrace her briefly before abruptly turning their attention back to their friends, their heads leaning against each other."

"What you've got between each other is so loving and precious so don't lose it. Take it from two who know,"Helen said in very clearly articulated tones which grabbed Simone and Annabelle's attention. The two women wished with all their hearts that they could share their good fortune especially as they went so well together.

"You really can't drive back all the way to your hotel," Annabelle said in slightly slurred tones. As the evening progressed, they'd worked their way down the second bottle of wine as the lighting became more subdued and the atmosphere more soporific."You can crash here if you like."

A muzzy silence descended on them all. Simone and Annabelle were lying on the sofa while Helen had climbed onto Nikki's lap and had wrapped herself affectionately around her, her lips pressed against her lips though both of them were miraculously close enough to the dining table, the bottle of wine and the glasses with which they topped up their drinks. All of them were feeling good inside, nice and affectionate but their mental machinery was more about exploring their inner universe than fast thinking and clicking into sorting out a crisis.

"If we drove back to the hotel, we'd be hauled in by the cops, cross examined and fingerprinted for violating some state law or other and the FBI would figure you out as a dangerous lesbian subversive. Besides, I really don't feel like moving," Helen said, waving a finger in front of Nikki's glassy eyes.

Simone racked her brains for all the cubbyholes, recesses and special places where the necessities of an improvised bed could be made up and finally, images seeped into her mind.

"It's possible," she said with slow deliberation, peering with concentration at her forefinger."I'll fix everything. Leave it to me."

She hauled herself perilously to her feet and, after bumping sounds from the hall, she staggered back fully laden to cheers, applauding her as a hero. The darkness was complete when Helen and Nikki were snuggled down on the floor of the living room, a soft pillow under each head and the living room furniture all around them, casting ghostly silhouettes. They were a million miles away from the luxury of their hotel suite and delightfully detached from all their cares. They knew they'd sleep like logs as everything felt like home to them.

Simone was up first as she felt dehydrated after drinking all that wine the previous night. As she tiptoed into the living room, she sighed with affection, seeing the short ruffled dark hair of the top of Nikki's head and what she could see of Helen and the shapes of their bodies underneath the quilt she'd found. She couldn't think of anything more calculated to detract in the nicest possible way from the starry eyed portrait of them in Diva.

The morning after started to feel a little strange after coffee and toast to wake themselves up. An unsettling feeling started to creep over them that time was running out on them. Helen and Nikki knew they only had so many days left to explore this part of California before they would be winging their way up into the skies to return to England and the lives that awaited them. Simone and Annabelle knew that their future was to reconnect with Erin and Diane. They sensed that once they got amped up, they'd be seeking their first gig and maybe make some money and that passively living on Annabelle's trust income wasn't for them. On the other hand, they hated to be parted from their new friends and, just maybe, they felt the same also.

"Suppose we return the compliment of your hospitality and you come over to England. We could put you up, no problem." Nikki suggested off the top of her head without any preliminary. The sidelong glance from Helen approved the idea. They were drinking a mug of morning coffee in the living room.

"We couldn't impose on you," Simone answered, her overdeveloped sense of good manners taking charge while a downcast expression settled on Annabelle's face. Their two friends knew better and felt that this charmingly complex woman really wanted it if it was at all possible.

"Just an idea. You think about it. You know how to contact us if you want to change your mind." said Helen quietly, as casually as she could frame her words. She knew that the idea needed time to take root and germinate.


	37. Chapter 37

"And we never got to play for Nikki and Helen. They'd have appreciated it," Annabelle said forlornly as they watched their friend's car diminish in size as it headed down the highway, Helen valiantly trying to turn round and wave at them. They blew kisses and waved back at their friends as long as the small shape of their existence was in sight. Finally, they turned round a corner taking them inland and were gone. Goodbyes came hard on them both.

"Too busy talking. There was so much to say and to listen to. Besides, we'd dropped our guitars into the music shop," replied Simone, verbalizing a stream of thoughts in no particular order which reflected her own confusion. They stood next to their car looking out into the distance. The morning sun was fresh and warming with just a hint of breeze on the air and the view should have been inspiring. Inside, they felt flat and empty with no will to start onto their next project, however minor. They stared out into the far off distance barely conscious of their surroundings, certainly not the faint soporific humming of distant traffic. They were so far gone into themselves that they didn't even notice the growing sound of one particular car approaching them. Only when the honking of a car horn jumped into their consciousness and they vaguely noticed flailing arms and two grinning faces were they forced back into the here and now.

"You guys must be really hot and eager to get to the music shop. You've got your car keys?," Erin exclaimed, her enthusiasm spilling over on such a sunny good news day.

"Er no,we've forgotten them,"Simone answered in a curiously abstracted fashion which made Diane do a double take while her more ebullient partner breezed right ahead.

"Well, that's good as I need the restroom and a coffee so we'll head on down to your place."

They clattered down the path, Erin and Diane setting the pace. In her strong but casual style, Erin followed closely after Simone and strolled into their house followed by Diane's quiet entrance while Annabelle trailed in behind. After they'd attended to immediate needs, both women finally tuned into their friends' down mood so Erin promptly reacted to it.

"Hey you guys, what's with the blues? I can feel it all around us."

"Nothing to do with either of you. Nikki and Helen spent the day, and the night, over here and it's a shame to see them leave. They'll be back in England soon so we'd better get on with our lives," Simone replied in a stoical tone of voice.

Diane maintained a serious expression on her face as she offered her soft sympathy."I know what you mean. I really liked them a lot. No one likes friends moving away."

"They're not like some Hollywood wannabees you come across hung up on their egos," agreed Erin briskly before continuing with unexpected gentleness."I guess you're both sad to see them go."

Simone and Annabelle nodded, unable to speak. Erin felt compelled to not leave it there and had to wing it even if she risked falling flat on her face.

"We're really sorry for you both as this place can be very impermanent, people coming and going but it's not as if you've lost their friendship. That is really terminal. They're still your friends and there's ways of keeping in touch. What the hell, that's what the internet, e mail and cellphone are all about. You're better off than lonely single women reaching out to each other who're really not suited. At least you've got each other and you've got us."

"Honey, we're here for you," Diane added putting an arm round each shoulder.

Erin's straight talking and Diane's tenderness did the trick. The other two women felt a little foolish for overreacting and each gave their friends a grateful hug and a kiss. Simone began to realise that she and Annabelle were part of the same shifting collective and it felt good.

"You really want us to get back down to the music shop and hook up to all that electricity," Annabelle quipped, the glow restored to her cheeks. Come to think of it, reaching beyond the limits of her acoustic guitar was attractive and their friends' similar desires were perceptible. .

Seeing that it was down to her, Simone reached for her car keys as a cue for all of them to get moving. Once they were out of the front door, chattering like excited schoolgirls, she and Annabelle realised they'd missed being separated from their guitars. This feeling drove home to them how wedded they were to their destiny as the vision of greater musical expression for their ensemble drew them like a magnet. She propelled their car ever onwards, her eyesight fixed upon Erin and Diane's car as they whizzed along the freeway towards their destination.

The shop was a pleasantly down-home establishment where, at the back of the counter, amplifiers and brand new instruments of every shape and size proliferated and, in a recess at the side, there was space for would be musicians to practice their instruments, to test whether reality matched their musical desires. Simone and Annabelle cast hungry looks in that direction.

Simone and Annabelle had more of a chance to take in the guy who greeted them, having stumbled in and out of the shop in a fit of nervousness to hand in their guitars. This time, the guy wearing a sleeveless T-shirt, untidy long blond hair underneath a leather hat with weather beaten slightly wrinkled features and blue eyes definitely looked like a leftover from the psychedelic 1960s turning his hand to a second career. On their first meeting with Erin, he had immediately locked in mentally to her obvious strength of purpose which was just like the guys he'd grown up with. These kids who now hung around his store might have been the offspring of long ago nights of passion with the groupies who had once hung around the scene. He had to take care of business and couldn't act like a drugged out teenager any more but shades of the people he'd known, the experiences he'd been through still haunted his daylight vision so that this female foursome were some solid manifestation of these visions. Consequently, he felt soft and kind-hearted towards them and was more than willing to help them out.

"Erin, my man, the guitars for your group are ready and waiting for your friends. As you can see," he said in his raspy yet mellow voice derived from years of smoking substances of various derivations. These four girls were definite eye candy but hell, Erin was a friend. "The amplifier lead plugs into the bottom of your guitar and volume controls for bass and treble will be on your amp. You can still play unplugged if you want but you can get a sound out of it that'll work in average gigs. Just don't expect to sound like Jimmy Page, that's all."

"We want to pick out amplifiers as well. We've been really looking forward to this moment," Annabelle said, looking like the excited kid she could still become when she let herself go..

This brought back memories for Rick of the eager kid he'd been with a headful of dreams. He graciously pointed out the sturdy dependable amplifier about the same size as the one he remember selling Erin who had spent a memorable lunchtime running down her collection of bass riffs which neatly advertised his wares. To the four younger women, he was like an amiable uncle, the interestingly eccentric kind they should have grown up with.

"You go first Annabelle. You've got more experience than me,"Simone said shyly, hanging back. The younger woman carried her guitar by its neck and sat on a stool while Rick grabbed a handy amplifier lead to plug her in. A contrary impulse rose inside Simone to mentally strain forward with intense interest.

The dark haired woman swept her locks back over her shoulders and practiced her finger picking style but conjured up unexpected resonance and power which made her feel she was hijacking such power. She slipped into some chord riffing that acoustic playing would not have inspired.

"What's that song? Sounds good." Erin asked, intrigued by this unexpected departure.

"I don't know," came the honest, slightly dazed reply after she jammed around for a little while. She hadn't thought of it as a basis for a song till someone else told her it was."I just made it up."

"It's Simone's turn to get hooked up to ready electricity," Rick said with a twinkle in his eye. He knew that these weren't spoilt high school kids who were trying out rock star like it was the latest fashion. These were serious musicians he was helping out. The woman he was now helping out was a bit older than the rest but needed more encouragement to do her thing. Something in her manner told him she would make it. She was gazing awestruck at the amplifier, not believing in the power that the purposeful look it conjured up.

"I'll help you out. Just make yourself comfortable and leave the rest to me."

That might have been one of the chat up lines he used to deploy way back when , Rick thought to himself but this time, he was being sincere. He really wanted to reassure this woman. He adjusted the amplifier so it wouldn't scare this woman as she started playing. As he calmly set to work, Simone rested her guitar on her knee looking wide eyed at everything all around her. It was only when she looked at her friends that she took heart.

"You'll be fine darling," Annabelle said tenderly, feeling her lover's fears at this pivotal moment of commitment.

"Go for it sister," called out Erin in her most cheerful tones, echoing Rick's thoughts.

"We've got faith in you," Diane said softly.

It dawned upon Simone that for the first time in her life, she was finally licenced to make a lot of noise. All her upbringing had militated against this perfectly reasonable human need, starting with her mother's admonitions and carrying on with the way she had quietly trod the corridors of St Theresa's. She decided against pretty constructions in C major and decided to go for the gutroot feelings of A major chords. This idea might shake up the persistent ghosts who wavered impotently at the edges of her consciousness and the reality of a sequence of hammered out chords with volume turned up did the trick. While she grinned unashamedly as the fading echoes of her rackety playing faded in the wind, everyone laughed and applauded her expression of feelings.

In a similar ebullient mood, they bought another amplifier with a mike stand so they could sing harmonies. Simone made the payment from money they had saved up and they were out of the shop.

"Our place," Diane exclaimed in the midst of the teenage high school whooping and celebrations outside the music store as they packed away their purchases. Rick smiled on indulgently as these kids were definitely replaying his past. "We've got bass and drums at home and we've gotta rock,"shouted Erin joyfully. The two vehicles tore up the main street in a burning hurry and Erin finally screeched to a halt outside their tiny apartment closely followed by Annabelle. They manhandled their new acquisitions through the front door and Erin gave a sideways nod to the back door while grabbing her bass. Once into the overgrown backyard, Diane turned the key in the lock of the peeling varnished doors of what had once been a garage. They swung open invitingly.

"My God," Simone exclaimed. Right before them was a full drum kit, amplifiers and coiled leads and all the pleasantly dishevelled feel of a teenage hangout that she was effortlessly revisiting. She put down the amplifier she was carrying and with no discernible effort, Erin and Diane set up the new equipment into the fantasy made reality of what a rock group felt like. She found herself standing opposite Annabelle, the microphone between them and a definite hum of pent up electricity, just waiting to be released. Diane sat back in her drum seat, shook her blond hair past her shoulders and exchanged a few words with Erin. The only light came from the corner of the garage and created long shadows, conveying them into another world.

"We'll try that song we played the other day only we'll do it a bit louder this time. I'll count us in and watch for the first four bars of Diane's drum riff. She never misses," Erin grinned in a conspiratorial tone of voice. It dared them to jump that bar that was edged just a little higher. Simone and Annabelle, guitars slung round their necks felt a strange confidence inside them. As Diane started to pound away those rhythms, it pulled them right and together, they played their guitars in unison and feeling Erin's much more powerful pulse in the centres of their beings, they launched into their song and the feelings of flying were more ecstatic than they ever could have imagined..


	38. Chapter 38

The four women found themselves splayed out anyhow in the cool serenity of Simone and Annabelle's living room, busy chilling out.

They had all decided the morning after their marathon music making session that while the garage made for a great workplace, the seaside house was the place to recharge their senses. They hadn't bothered changing their clothes from last night so they were still wearing jeans and T-shirts, feeling not unpleasantly sweaty and they could still hear the buzzing sounds of amplified music played in a confined space. After a while, Simone volunteered to stagger through into the kitchen to make four mugs of coffee as they all felt parched and in need of liquid brain food. Her own throat felt rough with all her singing and her body felt as if she'd been working out in the gym but in a pleasurable fashion. More than that, she felt emotionally on fire from her share in the songs she'd both played and sung as the amplified sound of her voice had carried way beyond the limits of what she could do unamplified and at the same time, she had struck notes from her guitar that had more sustain, more attack than anything she could conceive of. She had loved the cool sounding bass notes that Erin had plucked with much more attack than when they'd played acoustic and Diane's drumming kicked her up the ass in the nicest possible way. She blessed their friends for generously reining themselves in when they had first played acoustic together. As for Annabelle, not only was that enchanting woman her friend, her soul mate and her lover but her comrade in arms too. Tears of happiness trickled down her face as she remembered how they had meshed both their voices and their guitar playing better than she could have imagined. It felt like the first time that they made love together but without all the trauma the morning after.

It was right at that moment that everything went misty eyed before her as the sun shone in through the windows and the memory of Annabelle's willing body against hers as they made passionate love last night on the floor of Erin and Diane's flat in full knowledge that their friends were doing the very same thing. She didn't even notice that the overfull electric kettle was boiling and exuding water all over the work surface.

"Hey Simone, the rest of the gang really need their morning coffee," asked Annabelle suddenly from behind her laying on the pathos in her voice.

"I'm really sorry,"Simone said hastily with a little jump as she clicked the electric kettle off and tore off a strip of kitchen roll to mop up the water."I was busy daydreaming."

"So what were you daydreaming about, honey?" Annabelle said with a kittenish smile on her lips and draping her arms over Simone's shoulders. The two women fell into each others' arms and they indulged in a long, deep kiss, pressing up against each other.

"Our wonderful music making yesterday. It was so inspiring,"Simone replied as soon as her mouth was disengaged. The little smirk on her face teased her lover into replying in kind.

"And the music we made last night...and Erin and Diane getting it on as well," Annabelle said in her mischievously sexiest manner. Simone laughed at this spurious attempt to embarrass her.

"Diane and Erin's lovemaking sounded absolutely fabulous...so long as we were getting our share of the action."

In this lovely lazy early morning get together, Simone suddenly sounded uncomfortable while trying not to be that way. Annabelle stepped into the breach to give reassurance. "Darling, I'm sure that Diane and Erin are definitely not into group sex any more than we are. This isn't some swinger's club we've joined. Besides, this would cause sexual tensions and jealousies and that would totally fuck up the group. They know it. That's two good reasons why it would never happen."

A brilliant smile spread across Simone's face and she planted a soft kiss on Annabelle's lips. Then, sensing murmurs from outside the kitchen, she turned to her task and her swift movements produced four large mugs and she rustled up a trayful of drinks and brought them into the living room. A chorus of satisfied sounds greeted Simone from Erin who was sprawled out on the armchair and Diane who was lying on her lap.

"Oh you darling,"Diane exclaimed with a mixture of enthusiasm and mock reproach."The coffee's just the way I like it, steaming hot but why were you so long with two coffee addicts dying of exhaustion."

"Probably making out with Annabelle in the kitchen," snickered Erin

"Of course we were,"Simone said with calm aplomb,"but that doesn't mean we neglect our duties."The four women burst into laughed in a free and easy fashion. Simone had a lovely feeling of reliving adolescent enthusiasm in hanging out with the gang but with the hindsight of maturity.

Just then, Simone's mobile bleeped as it lay on the table. Simone picked it up in an irritated fashion, suddenly became nervous and jumpy but froze in inaction at the thought of answering it.

"My mother," she mouthed at Annabelle before flopping back on the settee and answering the call.

"Simone, it's a while since we last met and ,since I'm in the area, I propose to call in on you today," she spoke in the relentless manner of one accustomed to rolling over any opposition. No mention of their brief encounter at Annabelle's graduation, she noted. She afforded just that chink of time to Simone to intervene who grabbed the opportunity.

"Excuse me but I've got company," Simone started to say, feeling Annabelle squeeze her other hand tenderly.

"It's not as if you're still working, Annabelle,"her mother replied sharply."I'm rushed off my feet as usual as you know very well."

"Listen up, mother,"Simone interjected, gratified that a very welcome feistiness swelled up inside her instead of humiliating feelings of willingness to please."I do have a life of my own. I have my friends round here who are very dear to me. You are my mother and I won't shut you out bit don't ever think you can walk over me and my friends and get away with it."

There was a shocked hush on the other end of the line while the other women's faces registered joyful astonishment at Simone's courage. Way to go, they silently thought. They had twigged the situation very quickly, helped by Simone's mother's carrying voice. Faced by this unexpected defiance, she decided to change her tactics.

"Well I only hope. Simone, that you are more settled than you've been in the past I'm sure that your recent unpleasantness can't have helped," she said in a smooth persuasive fashion.

For a few seconds, her mother's insinuation of instability slipped under Simone's guard and she came close to believing what she was told. Suddenly, her mind cleared and she suddenly viewed her life over the years as if she were standing on a mountain top with an Olympian perspective. The way the Mother Immaculata had controlled her life was only a continuation of her mother's doings and she'd been brought up by alien expectations. Never again, she vowed as she breathed in and out and framed a reply in her own time, not her mother's.

"Mother, I've changed such a lot in the past year, especially the last few weeks since I've been living with Annabelle Tillman. I'm now more stable and centred than I've ever been in my entire life. We've got two friends of ours here and you'll have to take us as we are if you're serious about visiting. Above all, don't ever try to manipulate me," Simone replied with all the confidence in the world finishing up with a stern warning.

"I, I'll come Simone but I won't be able to stay for long," her mother stammered. A detached portion of Simone's mind registered the fact that this was the first time she'd heard her mother sound so nervous. She signed off the conversation with a flourish, feeling fantastic inside.

"You darling," Annabelle said in unusually gushing tones for her, amazed as yet another facet of her lover's personality was revealed. Simone vaguely thought this must be something she'd done.

"Shit, I couldn't tell that to my mother- unless I got drunk first,"confessed Erin, amazed at her friend's toughness and determination._ She hides some of the best in her, that's all, for a reason I don't ge_t, she thought to herself.

"I just stay out of my parent's way,"confessed Diane."They think of me as a lost cause."

A silence hung heavy on the air. Diane's words had encapsulated the sense of parental disapproval that could easily sneak past their outward guard of defiance.

"What about when your mother comes round? She ain't exactly going to welcome us," Erin said hesitantly.

Annabelle said nothing. She'd once seen Simone's mother one day when she'd been hiding behind the rockery at St. Theresa's when she'd been talking to her while they were on the terrace. She was out of earshot to properly hear the conversation but she could sense that her mother was lecturing Simone whose body language depicted her discomfiture. The only thing that was untoward was that Simone was glancing in her direction. Times had changed as Simone had said. She knew she'd be in the firing line so it was down to her to help stand up for them. However Simone got there first.

"This house is mine and Annabelle's," Simone said with steely determination, her steady gaze telling Annabelle that, yes, her mother had originally bought the house as a graduation present out of guilt for neglecting her over the years. It meant that she wouldn't put up with the slightest attempt by her mother to levy a belated emotional debt repayment."You guys are really welcome here at any time. It's my mother whose presence is on trial. She gets no special favours for being my mother. We shouldn't go out of our way to badmouth her but we shouldn't take any crap from her either."

An involuntary burst of cheering met Simone's firm leadership. Annabelle was transfixed by her partner's forceful clarity of purpose. Echoes of the way she'd gripped the attention of the class she'd taught came back to her. This time around, the purity of Simone's personality shone through as she had no role to hide behind. At that moment, she loved this woman of hers all over again and it framed her intervention.

"If there's any trouble, guys, I reckon Simone and I are likelier to take the heat. We'll have to deal with it, that's all. We're a shit hot rock and roll band so we can do anything if we put our minds to it," she said with quiet certainly.

"That's great, that's good," Erin said enthusiastically, rubbing her hands together and grateful for someone to do some leading around here."So what do we do while we're waiting?"

"Sing a few songs. You brought your guitars with you so we can practice a few harmonies while I can tap out a rhythm on a guitar case,"Diane said shortly. Everyone was pleased at the idea and they went at with a will, picking out some of the lighter hearted songs to work on. A half hour later, the palms of Diane's hands were rhythmically slapping the wooden case while the other three women's voices shaped gorgeously structured harmonies around Annabelle and Simone's rhythmic strumming to the point that they had almost forgotten about the impending visit. It was only when they heard a sharp rapping sound on the glass door when Simone swore under her breath and, still gripping her guitar by its neck, answered the door and swung it open.

In the split second while these two women's eyes met, Simone's thoughts raced a million miles a second. This stranger, dressed in a dark blue jacket, light blue full skirt, her shortish grey hair framing her face drew her attention to a thin face with slightly beaky nose and, at the centre of focus, her cold eyes, oh so cold. She was only an older version of the Mother Immaculata and that thought lifted her spirits.

"Your clothes sense has obviously gone downhill, Simone. You should have kept up your standards with your upbringing,"Simone's mother said dismissively.

"Are you meeting me or my clothes?" countered Simone shortly.

"That's not the point," snapped her mother, Simone's sharp eyes noting that she was inwardly rattled.

"Do you want a cup of tea? I'm making one for everyone," Simone said lightly, still holding onto her guitar and feeling more sure of her ground.

"Who's everyone?" demanded her mother icily.

"Annabelle Tillman for a start," Simone replied, bouncing inside on an adrenaline rush. She pushed the door open to reveal a smiling Annabelle, cradling her guitar and continued in her best drawing room manner."Erin and her partner Diane are with us as well." Bubbles of mischief welled up inside her as Erin executed a casual wave while Diane rat-tatted on the guitar case.

"Who- or what are you?" Simone's mother said in tones of strangled anger that might have reduced Simone to apologetic submission in an earlier epoch. Not today.

"The four of us are 'Creation', a lesbian rock and roll band. We're working on songs right now," Simone retorted defiantly, leaning her guitar in the corner."We want to go out there and perform for the people, start getting gigs and make some money. We think we've got the creativity to make a mark. Want to come through to the kitchen while I make us all a cup of tea?"

In a trance like state, the older woman tottered after Simone while her three friends' eyes and mouths opened wide with amazement at Simone's spectacular lack of caution. It was as if she'd deliberately gone out of her way to court confrontation, as if she'd hurled a large brick through her mother's front window. Fortunately, the only sounds coming from the kitchen were the clinking sounds of cups and saucers, the kettle boiling and, in a short while,Simone emerged, holding a large tea tray while her mother followed, looking as if the steam level of a pressure cooker was getting to the explosion point. All four women braced themselves for the inevitable outburst and sure enough, it came.

"Simone, you cannot expect me to approve of throwing away the benefits of your college education, your years in teaching in following this foolish fancy."

"What alternative was I left since your sister called in the cops and make a big drama out of sleeping with Annabelle?" shot back Simone boldly."After all, she's my partner now."

"You've got a nerve," Simone's mother exploded."You've dragged the family reputation through the mud, on the front page of the Los Angeles Tribune and now you want to parade it onto the stage of some seedy club. Well, I wash my hands of you."

"Let's stick to the facts," Simone said in a curiously controlled tone of voice even though she was shaking inside with anger. She knew that this was the shootout at the OK Corral that had been a long time coming."I don't accept that because Annabelle was three weeks short of her eighteenth birthday and due to leave St Theresa's that we'd done anything morally wrong. Even if I accept that Annabelle was a student under my care and I was being unprofessional, I could have been asked quietly to hand in my notice with no fuss but no your sister had to go in all guns blazing and ruin me professionally. That means I have to turn to an alternative career."

"Call this a career?A bunch of degenerates..." Simone's mother started to sneer before she was cut short.

"Enough," yelled Annabelle."I don't see why the fuck we should hear all your shit. We need to all calm down and drink a cup of tea before it gets cold."

Erin and Diane promptly burst into laughter at their friend's idiosyncratic intervention which Simone joined in with and finally Annabelle. She didn't know how on earth her intervention took the tack it did but is sure the hell sounded funny. The carefree laughter took the tension out of the situation which was winding up tighter and tighter like a spring. All four women hated to see this happen after the lovely carefree atmosphere earlier on .

"Well, are you going to enjoy our hospitality or not? Shall you stay or shall you go?" Simone said with quiet amusement, knowing that she was forcing her mother to behave. The feeling of asserting her power over her felt good to her. The glare she received in reply was answer enough.

"In that case, I'll be mother," Simone said perkily and, having sorted out the cups and saucers, started to pour the tea. She knew that everything would be fine from now on and her mother would make her excuse to go after a face saving excuse. That was fine by her and the rest of her friends.


	39. Chapter 39

Helen and Nikki had zoomed everywhere in their convertible and had loved the wide open spaces, the lush greenery and the clear blue skies that they drove through and walked around in. They felt as if they had OD'd on every physical beauty known to humanity but their contact with people had been episodic as they'd eaten in fancy restaurants and bought new outfits in glittering stores in the out of town shopping malls they'd encountered. Customer service, American style was very friendly and outgoing but they couldn't help thinking that they hadn't had such spiritually satisfying times as the couple of memorable occasions. One was the evening they'd spent at Chico's which ironically was part of Nikki's work obligation. The other was the day and night they'd spent at Simone and Annabelle's house. It was simple and homely but was a treat for the senses. As they sat in the cafe in some high street or other slowly drinking coffee, each of them wondered if they might have some reason to call them up or did they need an excuse to do that?

Half an hour later, Simone's mother checked her small silver wristwatch for the third time in five minutes and coldly announced her impending departure to a business engagement. Along with the others, Simone kept up her end of polite, meaningless conversation, cheeks starting to hurt from the strain of polite smiles. They shook hands outside the door and, as her mother's heels clicked purposefully away, Simone darted back inside into the living room.

"Jesus fucking Christ, she's gone at last," Simone swore loudly."Half an hour's polite conversation with her is no joke. I hope I never see her again for a long while. I'm so glad for all the support you've given me. You're all total stars."

Simone proceeded to hug first Erin, then Diane and finally Annabelle. A flood of emotion let loose told her how dear they all were to her. They all felt very cheerful right now and Annabelle nipped into the kitchen to refill the teapot. They felt normal again.

"So we need to get some gigs- and fast. I think we're ready to play live," Erin said impatiently out of nowhere.

"You really think we're up to it- at least I am?" Simone replied incredulously."Apart from a period in my teens, I haven't been singing and playing very long."

"Simone, you must be born with the gift," the straight talking Erin said, looking the taller woman in the eye. Her friend was charming, obviously well educated but traces of self-doubt still lurked around her psyche. This was easily explained by half an hour's experience of the controlling bitch of a mother."Some play and sing who really don't get it. Your voice is really gorgeous in a different way from Annabelle. You both write great songs I love harmonising with and you both play a really mean guitar. That's why Diane and I are gig hungry."

"She speaks for me, right," Diane added.

With eyes brimming with emotion, Simone embraced first Erin and then Diane, followed by Annabelle. The younger woman's longer experience of being a musician made her more self- confident from the word go but even she was knocked out by their friends' generosity. She knew that Simone was simply overwhelmed by the honest compliment from women whose abilities might have been a little intimidating. More to the point, Erin and Diane strongly believed they could play before an audience and were putting themselves on the line.

"We will," breathed Simone, a loving smile on her face."So where do we play?"

"What about Chico's? It's the one place that'll like our concept and they'll remember us," suggested Annabelle. Erin's expression showed that she was there already.

"I'm not sure Miranda has really got over my little confrontation with her, nice though she was later or I'd volunteer to phone her," Simone answered.

"I'll do it," volunteered Diane, having exchanged glances with Erin whose expression was troubled. Both knew that there were complications in her seeking to get this gig at Chico's." Erin knows I have past history with her. We need to use what connections we have."

"OK, do it,"Erin finally decided.

Miranda was sat at her desk behind the bar doing her accounts when the phone rang. She raised her eyebrows when the phone number indicated distant memories of her last girlfriend but four.

"Miranda, it's Diane Tillsley, remember me. I want to ask you a favour," a nervous voice called in her ear.

"I'm intrigued to talk to you again by why after all this time?"

Diane's heart sank. She knew Miranda of old and knew that a simple request would be twisted around to ensnare her. She drew upon Erin's straightforwardness and replied in like mind.

"You know we broke up as you cheated on me so I'm not going back on what I told you last time. This is a straight business request."

"And what might that be?" Miranda's languid tones persisted, a little irritated at the way her former lover parried her first ploy. At one time, she'd have been drawn in straightaway.

"Since we split up, I joined a female rock and roll band. We're pretty good, you know," she said, glancing at her friends for support.

"So what has that got to do with me, Diane," the other woman said, being deliberately obstructive though her alert mind was already working out the connections. Diane knew she was being pressured to come to the point and risk rejection. She felt awkward asking for a favour.

"We want to play a gig at Chico's this coming Friday. We're a lesbian band and should go down well with your audience,"Diane said, putting a last spurt of trailing enthusiasm into her sales pitch.

"Sorry, but I'm not feeling cooperative. Why do we need your banging and twanging when a juke box can do it for free. Goodbye, Diane," Miranda retaliated dismissively.

The miserable expression on Diane's face told her friends the bad news. Simone's spirits rose to the challenge and her mind worked like lightning. Suddenly, she had the answer.

"I know. We'll ask Nikki and Helen if they can make it and maybe Miranda will reconsider if Annabelle phones her,"Simone exclaimed to a willing grin from her partner. All four women exchanged glances. They had nothing to lose. With a sense of purpose flowing through her veins, Simone reached for her mobile.

Helen and Nikki were still exchanging a desultory conversation over empty cups of coffee. They had to admit they were getting bored with their recent flurry of activity and weren't in the mood to continue down the same path. Just then, Helen's phone beeped and a broad smile spread across her face as she recognised the number. This might be what they'd been secretly waiting for all along.

"It's Simone here. We wanted to ask a favour of you. I know you're on holiday and it might be an imposition but..."

"Skip the polite introduction Simone. I know what you're like. Get to the point," Helen answered with an amused smile while Nikki's ears pricked up.

"Annabelle and I have formed a rock and roll band with two friend we met at Chico's

the night we met you and Nikki. We've asked Miranda if she'll let us perform at our first gig this Friday but she's not cooperating. If you come to hang out and chat to the gang, maybe she'll change her mind."

"Hang on, I'll check with Nikki," Helen said and a quiet buzz of conversation ensued.

"OK, you're on. We missed out in going to the cafe so we really want to see you guys and the rest of the gang and we'd be honoured to be part of your first audience. You tell Miranda that we'll come but only on condition that we see your group perform on stage."

"And see that she pays you," called out a laughing but fundamentally serious Nilki,"Say fifteen per cent of the increase in bar profits from the week before we visited last time and a decent lump sum. I used to run a lesbian club. I know the going rate if I can remember it."

"How do you know women will want to see us much less pay?" a bewildered Simone asked.

"How did we know that you guys would want to hear us talk and treat us like pop stars?" countered Helen smartly."In your case, we just know."

"Thank you," Simone said softly in answer to Helen's emphatic assurance. It raised them to dizzying heights.

"Your phone call has done us a favour in giving us something to look forward to. See you Friday night," Helen finished cheerfully.

The three other women were hanging on every word that passed between Simone and Helen as they crowded round the mobile. They were overwhelmed to the latest boost to their self-worth from two women they had learnt to admire quite as much as they came close up to them.

Annabelle was emboldened to snap open her mobile phone and Miranda's bookkeeping was interrupted once again by a woman who crisply started into negotiations with all the confidence in the world, revealing an unexpected gift for hard bargaining. Faced with the lure of certain bumper profits and the four women held a controlling position to a return visit by Helen and Nikki, she agreed at once to let 'Creation' perform next Friday at a price Annabelle dictated. She was a smart enough businesswoman not to risk her club getting a bad reputation should rumour leak out that she'd spurned the opportunity for a return visit by Nikki and Helen. Her only crumb of comfort was to insist that Annabelle arrange a publicity photograph at their expense rather than hers. As Annabelle signed off, her mind and eyes were wide open to their dreams starting to shape up as reality and knowing that Vanessa and Alison would be admirably suited.


	40. Chapter 40

"I'm sorry," you guys. We have to go home and crash. Diane and I are really wiped out. Our daytime job of waitressing all last weekend and all the excitement of getting our group together has caught up with us," Erin said in an obviously tired tone of voice with evident regret. She was flagging herself and she felt Diane leaning against her shoulder. She didn't need to turn her head to know that her lover's eyelids were drooping.

"Sure. You've gotta do what you have to do," Annabelle answered with generous understanding. Erin's warm smile silently blessed their friends as Simone was obviously of like mind.

"Come on honey," the dark haired woman said with surprising gentleness as she gently hauled her lover to her feet."We're going home for some shuteye." Diane mumbled something with a soft smile on her face although she had just enough presence of mind to deal with their farewells before stumbling up the path to their car.

By the time Erin drove their car homewards, the road felt like rubber and there were moments when her eyelids drooped down and she dreamed she was driving. A sudden shock that she was driving this way gave her a temporary energy boost. However, the soporific feel of the constant hum of the engine, the dark sky, the steady feel of the road they were driving on and the flashing lights tended to drag her back down to the dangerously soft warm comfort zone. She looked sideways at Diane whose body was angled sideways in gentle sleep and fondly thought she was the lucky one. Finally, Erin rounded the last weary turn past the lights of the all night garage, turned off into the familiar side street with the drugstore on the corner next to the takeaway pizza joint. She parked outside their ground floor apartment with the garage cum band rehearsal place at the back of it.

Erin opened the door with a turn of the key and a smart rap on the door frame. The bedsitter that opened up before them was a comfortably untidy physical manifestation of who they were. The internal washing line strung from one side of the room to the other was crowded out with a couple of pairs of jeans, a selection knickers,bras and T-shirts and a couple of Diane's floaty dresses. A settee along the side was cheek by jowl with a rather battered looking cooker and, just visible through the jeans hanging from the line was their double bed with Erin's bass guitar propped in the corner. The DVD player and CD rack held equal pride of place. Everything was purposefully arranged in the apartment to make the most of the space, however haphazard it looked. The two women loved it.

"Shall we take down the washing?"Diane sleepily mumbled, a residual instinct from her houseproud mother rising to the surface.

"Leave it, sweetheart. It won't come to any harm or attack us," Erin nonchalantly reasoned, neatly salving Diane's conscience.

The two women threw off their clothes and tumbled into bed together. They loved the feeling of moments like these. Tonight, waves of tiredness ran through their systems and they passed up on the stray impulse to make love and they drifted off into peaceful, fulfilled sleep.

Waking up in the morning ought to have been for Erin the slow, delicious feeling inside Erin that her beloved was only a finger width away from her, that she could reach out and touch her lover's naked skin anytime she wanted. In her sleepy haze, she attempted to do just that and transform her desires into reality – only to make contact with empty sheets. That woke up Erin properly and her blinking eyes looked wildly around for her lover. With a measure of relief, she saw her silhouetted by the early morning sun streaming in, her back turned away from her as she sat at the cheap dining table, apparently writing away. This puzzled Erin as this wasn't Diane's normal habits but she put one step forward after the other to discover what this all signified. The blond haired woman turned round to give Erin a reassuring smile as she got close. The glimpse of her shape looked good to Erin as her lover turned back to the scribbled pages, including crossings out.

"I had these words going round in my head while I was asleep. I had to write them down and they started something," Diane explained, kissing Erin on her lips.

"Makes sense to me, honey,"Erin said reassuringly as she kissed her lover's bent shoulder. The sigh that escaped the blond-haired woman's shapely lips mingled relief with pleasure.

"Stay with me while I finish off. I like you around me."

Erin dragged the other lightweight plastic chair, looking on at the creation of this poem, a sweet and loving creation. It had a sense of rhythm as she silently spoke the words and the repeated payoff line felt good. Suddenly an alternative explanation for Diane's creativity crossed her mind. Finally, she put her pen down and eased herself onto Erin's lap, her long slim arms slipping round her. She gave the smaller woman a long deep lingering kiss.

"There's something I want us to do before we make love. Just bear with me. You still got that acoustic guitar of yours?"

"I think I can dig it out even though I'm a shit guitar player," smiled Erin.

"Then that's OK as you sing better than me," laughed Diane, throwing her head back, her hair being swept back. She looked particularly gorgeous to Erin right then, both of them comfortable in their nakedness round each other.

Ten minutes after sorting through the rubbish in the cubby hole, Erin was sitting on the sofa dressed with the guitar which she fumbled out retuning it. Finally, her face brightened and she looked expectantly at her lover who swallowed a mouthful of water from the glass and sat facing her on the plastic chair, looking especially ravishing. However, Erin cocked her ears for the way she started singing the song, lightly slapping the table to feel the rhythm of the song within her. Her voice sounded hesitant, unsure but

Erin instantly picked out the root chords in her head and this sounded good to her.

"Play, goddamn it," laughed Diane, breaking off after finishing the first chorus, having expected her lover to intuit the song she was shaping with her voice.

"You take it from the top honey and I'll back you,"Erin enthusiastically answered her.

Feeling more confident, Erin strummed out the opening chords, the thin metal strings feeling uncomfortable and Diane felt came in sketching out the song more comfortably this time. Both of them started to feel Simone and Annabelle's kindly support for their effort as they worked their way through the song. Finally, as they finished the chorus, Erin put down the guitar and started shaking her left hand. The thin metal strings has made her finger ends hurt like hell.

"Oh your poor hand," Diane exclaimed sympathetically." Have you been disabled for life? It's all because I got obsessed about our song."

Erin grinned wickedly as she ran her hand under the kitchen tap. She knew what her lover was getting at. She knew that Diane wouldn't be disappointed at what she had in mind

"The song's lovely. We'll show it to Simone and Annabelle and they'll love it too."

"And now gorgeous, I want to take you to bed."

A delicious jolt coursed through Erin's nervous system as the edge in Diane's soft voice connected with something vital in her. It wasn't often that Diane made the first move but this was just the way that events unfolded. This morning after crashing out for nine hours solid, they felt especially attuned towards each other as they woke up to a bright new day. Diane placed the smaller woman's short, square hand in the slim fingers of her own right hand, softly and lovingly kissed her and led her in the direction of their dishevelled bed. She gently laid the smaller woman down, her long blond hair falling loosely on Erin's face and their bodies instinctively moved into each other. The deep friendship between the two women whose personalities fitted together so seamlessly became overlain by their blossoming desires for each other where nothing lay between each other in their glorious nakedness. The two women kissed each others' lips, their faces, their necks while the slim fingers of Diane's right hand gradually sought out her lover's intimate places. Erin was in seventh heaven at the feeling of being pleasured as her legs were bent double and wide open to the skies and her arms were wrapped around her lover's back. Finally, the blond-haired woman's fingertips reluctantly abandoned the feel of her lover's rounded breasts and sought the centre of her desires. She loved the way that Erin set herself up to be made love to in a perfectly unselfconscious manner. Finally, Erin gave out a gasp as those prized fingers slid inside her and started coaxing her towards orgasm and took her time to extract every ounce of pleasure within her. This was the life she had always dreamed of in being with a woman who was so compatible with her. It hadn't always been that way as her natural appearance had given immature women entirely the wrong idea about her...

"You're really patient and understanding. You could have wondered what in hell I was doing but you had respect for my early morning burst of weird inspiration," Diane murmured in her lover's ear an hour or so later as Erin lay across her.

"As soon as I read what you were doing, I got really interested. It put my libido temporarily on hold. Only temporarily," laughed Erin, lazily stroking a long lock of hair off her lover's face as she lay on her side, leaning on her elbow.

"That's all right. Everything's all right,"murmured Diane contentedly, turning her head on her side. The patterns of sunlight that shone in through the front widow cast interesting shadows and contrasting lightness and darkness and varying colours. Only an occasional car passed down their side street and everything was peaceful.

"Do you really think Simone and Annabelle will like our song?" Diane asked anxiously at last out of the long silence.

"Honey, do you have a special reason they won't?" counter-questioned Erin as gently as she could put it."It's not forbidden for drummers to write songs. They're not time machines. They have feelings like anyone else."

Erin could feel her lover's momentary tension immediately dissipate."You've read my thoughts, right."

"That's what I'm here for. Don't worry as Annabelle's great. She has definite ideas but she won't shut anyone out who wants to help. I know you're a bit overawed by Simone, college educated and a teacher but she's a lovely woman. She's definitely not one of those women who are up her own ass. She's very calm and takes everything in her stride."

"She must be in her early thirties but she doesn't act that way, I mean in the nicest possible way," mused Diane."I mean she and Annabelle are so suited and they're mature women."

"Do you regret splitting from that last group we were in? I felt like I was expected to be a rhythm machine, the same shit every night. The other women were way too uptight for my liking. I might as well have been on some car production line. That's no life for us, kid," Erin said with the kind of infinite tenderness that Diane knew so well that lay behind her lover's exterior.

"You've got it. I just want us to add anything we've got to help and be ready for what our friends come up with. The dream group, finally,"sighed Diane with a feeling of infinite peace as she lay on her back, watching the strange lines and perspectives their washing made as they looked up at it.

"We make good music on stage as well as in bed," laughed Erin softly into her ear and a soft wide smile spread across Diane's face in agreement. She was thinking of the way they made music together. Both knew that her slim frame contained surprising strength so that, when she sat on her drum stool, her legs and arms moved in coordinated rhythm to lay down that interlocking layer of percussion, from the deepest sounds of her bass drum to the whooshing sounds from her cymbals. Erin always stood to the side of her, hunched up over her own bass guitar but her senses were attuned to the propulsive rhythm her lover kicked out and this provided the backbone to whatever they were playing. Once they started playing with Simone and Annabelle, they were entranced to realise that they were freed up to contribute to their friend's songs. They were conscious of the one and only rule in 'Creation' that never needed to be spelt out as it was so obvious and right. From their perspective, they were politely asked if their underpinning to the song sounded right and did they want to chip in something different. There was a sense of collective leadership so that no one was left out. Now they were going one step better and contributing a song to their growing repertoire and they knew that this would be fine by Annabelle and Simone as only four women who played music together could know each other this way.


	41. Chapter 41

"You know, that's the one thing we haven't done since we've come here, seeing some live music," Nikki said meditatively as she looked at herself in the changing room mirror.

"OK so what's special about the pair of jeans you're buying?" sighed Helen with her hands on her hips in her own prospective purchase, a glorious flame coloured halter necked floaty dress that brought out the very best of her physical features.

"This is a pair of American jeans. They're special," emphasised Nikki. The little smile on her face flirtatiously accented her cheeky persistence in butting against her lover's apparent good sense. For some reason she couldn't explain to herself, she really had to buy those jeans as they were perfectly contoured to her body and made her feel good about herself. Despite Helen's implied logic of jeans in her far off wardrobe half the world away in London, they were special. She had to have them.

"We'd do our duty phone call home and tell Chris how our PR operation went," Helen suddenly said as they waited in the queue to pay for their purchases. Nikki frowned in reply but didn't say anything. A couple of minutes later, both women spoke to the woman on the checkout to pay for their goods, noting the look of surprise at their accents. They'd got used to this in a land where the rapid speaking American intonations were starting to get wired into their mental DNA as a constant presence. They could appreciate the contrast of Nikki's mellifluous accent and Helen's sharply accented Scottish brogue.

Finally, they emerged out into the sunshine and, with a sign of resignation, Nikki fished out her mobile phone.

"I know what you mean Helen. A promise is a promise,"sighed Nikki, smiling briefly at her partner. At the end of the day, she knew that Helen was only reminding her of her profound sense of duty.

"You mean you didn't want to reconnect with home when we're having such a wonderful time and we've really been taken out of ourselves,"Helen answered with a broad smile. She wasn't going to talk about their impending return. That would come in its own good time.

"Hiya Chris," Nikki said, leaning against the shopfront wall, the presence of the balmy sunlight shining down on them as a stream of words came straight out of her subconscious."We're having a great time, we've met some lovely women and the weather is marvellous and, oh yeah, we gave Women in Prison a good plug at the Chico's gathering."

"You're lucky," Chris said in caustic tones before her obvious affection came to the surface for her two capable subordinates what were also her close friends. She was missing their cheerful presence more than she could say."I'm sitting in my office watching it pissing down with rain outside. I can just about see the grey clouds outside my window and the heating's on the blink again. Still, I'm sure you did your bit and I'm grateful for you guys bringing in work into your well deserved break."

At the back of Nikki's mind, a little window opened onto the realities of English weather, red double-decker busses and fish and chips while she idly looked at her bare, sun-bronzed arm as she shut down her mobile phone. She was wearing a pair of cool white trousers and loose fitting T-shirt. If she were living in London, she knew she'd be wearing a thick pullover and winter coat to ward off the cold and rain. She shook her head as if trying to expunge the tenacity of her memories.

"Want to have a coffee across the way and maybe chill out?" Helen said softly, sensing her partner's down mood. Nikki turned her head to smile gratefully at her.

Simone and Annabelle had also got plenty to think about. At midday, the fair-haired woman had changed into her favourite short-sleeved green T-shirt and a loose-fitting pair of white trousers. She was sitting on their bed, strumming a particular chord sequence on her guitar and mouthing words that she'd written down on a sheet of exercise paper in her neat handwriting with chord changes denoted by her red biro pen. Annabelle was sitting quietly at the dining room table. She knew not to interrupt Simone while she was in the middle phase of creating a new song so she was starting to write down their set list for the songs they would play at Chico's. She was starting to realise that, even if they played every song they knew, they weren't up to performing for an hour let alone longer than that. They needed new songs and fast so she let Simone follow her inspiration. She was also in a state of indecision as to the order of their songs. As she fiddled with her pen in an abstracted fashion, Simone flew into the dining room, a brilliant smile on her face.

"Hey so how's my genius composer girlfriend of mine been getting on?"Annabelle asked, turning her face to receive an enthusiastic kiss on her lips.

"I'm really happy with it. Don't know if Rilke would approve," Simone responded with exactly the sort of shy smile that the younger woman fondly endeared itself to her from their first intimate talk in St Theresa's library.

"Let's hear it. I'm really curious," came the sort of cheerful encouraging response which is exactly what Simone's sensitivities craved.

Simone padded back into their bedroom, sat on the sofa and started to sing and play a beautiful, gentle mystical song that captured the essence of the poetry she'd taught her a lifetime ago, only set to music. Sure enough, she played that four chord bridge in the middle of the song that Annabelle had heard her play earlier on and contrasted to perfection with the rest of her song. Already, the younger woman could hear the sort of drum rhythms that Diane especially loved, a cool undulating Erin bass line while her own imagined counterpointed guitar line slotted in effortlessly. Her lips were parted with wonder and she heard the applause in her head as the last tinkling notes from Simone's guitar faded into the air.

"The song is called 'Ladies of the Canyon.' I think I borrowed the title from somewhere but it fits," Simone said sheepishly. She glowed inside to feel her lover's soft, warm kiss on her and the expression of admiration in her eyes. She felt as if her English composition had been given an unexpected A+ grade.

"That song just has to be second or third in our set list. We're getting there kid," Annabelle exclaimed with evident pleasure. She gestured towards her scribbles on the sheet of paper of the songs that they'd played together over the past few weeks. Simone exhaled sharply in excitement as she started to hear echoes in her head of a concert taking shape, especially given the slant Erin and Diane had provided them. Her blue eyes opened wide in wonder.

It was just at this moment that they heard a polite knock on their front door. They guessed that their friends were calling on them and the timing couldn't be better. Intrigued, Simone opened the door and noticed that Erin and Diane looked unusually shy and reticent.

"I guess this isn't just a social call," Simone said in her easy tones after the preliminary exchange had been got out of the way.

"We know we need more songs and, er, rather than let you guys do all the hard work, we've come up with something on our own, that is if you're interested."

Simone put her own composition on hold for now. Her sharp senses told her that the normally straight-taking Erin was really hanging on her approval, especially being an educated woman and all that so the group needed this dealt with first.

"We'd really love to hear your composition. It's perfectly allowed for you guys to write songs for the group," Simone said gently to Annabelle's evident approval. Diane and Erin cheered up at this response but they weren't as jubilant as their friends had expected. Erin held the sheet of paper shyly behind her back which indicated who was the composer.

"OK, so how do you want to play it?" asked Annabelle gently of the obvious songwriter of the two

"Can I borrow one of your guitars? I'm not so great on it but I'll get by. Diane'll sing it as she knows how it goes."

Annabelle handed over her multicoloured instrument to the smaller woman who took it gingerly and sat at the table, the lyric sheet with chord changes visible to Diane who leant over her shoulder. Her eyes never left the fretboard as she strummed the introduction and Diane mentally counted herself into the song.

As the song unfolded, the other two women saw through the nervous performance and their heightened concentration drank in the charming lyrics and forceful melody of the song. Diane pushed her way through the song, painfully conscious that her voice didn't have her friends' lightness and flexibility, rapping on the table to keep time. Erin 's fingers missed the comfort and smoothness of feel of the four bass strings. It felt as if she was trying to speak in a different dialect while automatic habits craved the familiar patterns. Somehow, the two women struggled through to the end and Diane shut her eyes, deathly afraid at what their friends might think of their effort. Instead, they broke into a spontaneous burst of clapping and Diane and Erin felt weak with pleasure that their little contribution had been so generously received.

"We want to work your song into the set," pronounced Annabelle enthusiastically."Of course, we'll figure out a full band arrangement between us."

"You don't know how really scared we were to play this song for you," Erin confessed, her feelings of relief pouring out of her.

"We're sisters after all. You can write songs for the group anytime you want to,"Simone said, meaning every word she said.

"You've come at a great time. We were roughing out a set list. Wanna join us in working on it?" Annabelle offered with a winning smile."Simone's just written a great song called 'Ladies of the Canyon.'"

The four women crowded excitedly round the table, agreeing that Annabelle's song selection sounded great when it was all put together and taking on trust Annabelle's estimation of Simone's new song. The question arose as to how best sequence the songs. This sparked off ideas between them in a beautifully cooperative fashion. Annabelle finally reached for a fresh sheet of paper to write down the definitive list. More than ever before, they truly felt they were a group where nothing and no one was excluded.

"If we're going to be professionals, we have to think like professionals,"Annabelle said in a tone of voice that lifted the others' spirits up and didn't beat them down. "OK, so we kick off with Tori Amos 'Pancake' song."

"I love it. It really punches out and makes a strong statement. It doesn't matter that we didn't write it," Erin agreed in her straightforward fashion.

"Hey, how come we agree with each other so easily?" questioned Simone with a quizzical expression on her face and smoothing a curly lock of hair from out of her eyes.

"Because we were meant to be," Diane said with total assurance and bright confidence."I never reckoned any singer guitarists wanted a drummer writing songs but, hey here we are."

Suddenly, they were all conscious of a golden glow shining in from the sea. It seemed to match their mood and feel so right.


	42. Chapter 42

"So what do we do next?"Simone said excitedly, her long fair hair flying round her face."There's so much we need to do but I don't know what to do first."

"Spit it out Simone," Annabelle said affectionately, the fingers of her right hand affectionately stroking the side of her face. Diane and Erin grinned at the sight of the younger woman being the calming influence while a warm feeling spread through their systems at the visible enthusiasm and optimism that was also inspiring them also. Annabelle marvelled at the way her lover's complexion was so clear and fresh in contrast to her frown lines when they were teacher and pupil at St Theresa's.

"I really want us to take our guitars to our rehearsal studio and work up a great version of our two new songs but I also want us to get Vanessa and Jenny to take some group photographs of us for our concert on Friday,"Simone answered at lightning speed. The cool, calm teacher Annabelle had known was a million miles away from where this adorable woman was right now, Annabelle felt affectionately.

"Why don't you pick up the phone and see how soon they can fit us in? They might not be able to accommodate us immediately,"Erin chimed in.

"Of course, of course" fluttered Simone in a totally charming way while her friends looked on affectionately. This blond-haired woman was such a darling.

In another part of town, enclose behind the invisible walls of a leafy scholastic institution, tension was rising in the comfortable office where power had been concentrated up till now. Right now, the Mother Immaculata was finding that she was having a battle on her hands. Father Harris's stubborn independence at the last graduation ceremony had continued and Sister Clair wasn't the dependable subordinate she'd once been, especially as she'd had extra responsibilities dumped on her. Only the multi-coloured goldfish, remained removed from the conflict as they swum contentedly around the invisible confines of the glass bowl, oblivious of all the conflict raging around them.

"Sister Claire, I must remind you that it's a fortnight until we start the new year. We still have the post unfilled for a new teacher for the seniors for English and French minimum?

Surely that can't be too hard to organise?" she snapped at the harrassed looking, brown haired woman.

"I've tried to recruit a sister but of the two I interviewed, neither comes remotely up to the standard we're looking for. I spread the net wider for teachers without a specific religious background and the one applicant I interviewed ducked out after the interview so we've still got nowhere."

"That's no excuse, Sister Clair. You're trying to blame everyone and everything for your lack of application," lectured Mother Immaculata in her sternest tones.

"I'm sure the recent press publicity has damaged the school's reputation amongst the Church. Our insistence on live in responsibilities might be the other half of the problem,"Sister Clair said with great restraint. Inside, she was boiling with anger in being stuck with an impossible mission. Since Miss Bradley's hurried departure, she'd been promoted to the Mother Immaculata's right hand woman full-time. She realised now that it was a poisoned chalice.

"That should be a bonus, not a disincentive. Instead of some new teacher at the bottom of the scale having to run the cost of a home, it gets provided by us for free,"scoffed the Mother Immaculata.

"You might need to seriously think about getting the existing dorm heads to cover and hire a teacher who simply teaches English and French. It would make my job hiring a new teacher much easier."

"And pray explain why?"

"Ordinary teachers aren't nuns," Sister Claire retorted, her self control starting to slip."They have a sense of vocation to their students but they do have lives outside school. They're smart enough to realise that the price for free accommodation in the school is in dealing with the students under their care outside school. Devout Christians of any denomination are much more willing to take on such responsibilities."

Sister Clair paused for breath as she wondered just how bold she dare become. The fact that the Mother Immaculata didn't interrupt her although her face reddened meant that all her pent-up thoughts started to pour out in a steady stream.

"You must know how rebellious the last few years seniors have been. It's not improved by rich parents who rely on us to instill discipline into their wayward children. It's the second ultimate solution, short of military school. Take Kristen Edwards for example who had to retake her senior year when she got pregnant..."

It was at that point that Sister Clair stopped short. The black expression on the Mother Immaculata's face assumed thundercloud intensity. Both women knew that the conversation was irresistibly heading towards naming the Nemesis of the other woman's existence, one Annabelle Tillman. What was most maddening of all to the Mother Immaculata was that one moment of giving way to blind emotion when her eyes laid sight of the two partially clad women has resulted in dragging them all into the hole she dug. Underlying this was the dread thought that she'd not heard the last of these two women who were haunting her very existence in their absence.

Only at that moment did she see Father Harris who had entered the open door, shaking his head disapprovingly at her. The price she'd also paid for marginalising him was that she was stuck with the consequences of her imperiousness and her world was closing in on her.

Many miles away, the world was opening up for four excited women. They excitedly felt the dice metaphorically spin and rattle on the table to see what number would come up, and decide whether they'd head over to the studio of their friends Alison and Vanessa in their lovely old timey studio for their first group photographs or would they whiz over to their place to work up their two latest songs into their concert repertoire? Erin and Diane loved the way Simone described the dump across the way from their apartment as 'their rehearsal studio.' It was typical of her quiet consideration and they could see why Annabelle loved her so much.

Vanessa was hard at work on the sort of run of the mill job that paid her bills. The husband wearing a smart white suit, shirt and tie accompanied his blond haired wife who wore a blue pleated shirt and blouse, the grandmother who was an older version of her daughter and they bustled along with all the paraphernalia of transporting the focus of attention, their baby daughter who was dressed for the occasion in a purple velvet dress. She took the standard shots of them sitting on carved old wooden seats, the mother handling the baby with a wooden screen as backdrop. All the time that her professional mode of operation was in gear, she couldn't help wondering just what the world held in store for this little creature. She had fresh faced cheeks and an innocent smile while her grey eyes took in everything around her. She was bound to grow up attractive but would she follow in the footsteps of her conventionally looking parents? Who could say? Somewhere at her own parents house, long overlooked folders of photographs existed of when she was a baby, so much promise in her eyes. Finally, she clicked the last shot of the baby on her own just before she was likely to get tired and bothered in expressing her feelings the only way she knew how.

"That's the last,"Vanessa said politely enough, shaking the mother by the hand."I'll get working on the photographs so my partner can mount them in the folders you selected."

"It must work out very well in your business, you two women being friends," the mother said in wide-eyed innocence.

"We've done a lot of growing up together. We get along," Alison said lightly, assuming the alternate identity reserved for customers.

"This reminds me of the place I went to when I was a little girl," the grandmother said with a little laugh

"I'll call you up when they're ready to pick up," Alison said pleasantly with her business smile attached to her face, waiting while the family tramped down the flight of wooden steps.

It was at that moment when the phone rang. Intrigued, Alison wondered what was in store for them and put her best business voice on ready for the conventionalities of business dealings. Instead, Simone's distinctly melodious voice came down the line accented by a little shiver of excitement.

"Simone and I are playing in a group with two other women and we wanted you to take some publicity photographs of us."

Instantly, the fair haired woman's face lit up with delight, drawing Vanessa's attention. Wheels of preliminary thoughts were starting to whirl round in her mind.

"So do you want the four of you to come here and pose or isn't that rock and roll enough for you? Do you want to pose with your instruments?" Alison asked.

Simone was instantly flummoxed. She hadn't thought that far ahead. Deducing the reason for the sudden hush, Alison made a suggestion.

"We need to see what you've got so we might as well come out to your place and see you set up and we can help decide what looks best. You know what our studio looks like if you think that's best. We need to come up with a good visual concept that might look good on posters."

Instantly, Simone's mind was made up and she quickly whispered to the others who instantly agreed. They were off and away, laughing like schoolgirls and clattering their way up the path to where their cars were parked. Simone and Annabelle placed their guitars in the back seat and they were off down the road, following their friend's guiding light. The closer Diane and Erin got to their destination, the more uneasy they felt about the recording studio being the scene of the photo shoot. Sure, it had a funky, hang loose feel about it when they practised their music together and it was certainly functional but it was hardly a work of art. It woke latent housewife instincts in them that they had thought dead and buried. As they turned into their side street, they spied two women in a car who waved at them who they presumed were Vanessa and Alison.

"I'll grab my bass as we pass through," Erin advised their two new friends as they passed through their apartment. Vanessa's quick eye picked up on the homely feel of the place and sensed possibilities. When they got to the rehearsal studio, it presented an entirely different perspective which presented her with a real dilemma. With her hand held camera weighing her down from the strap hanging round her neck, she directed the four attractive women to pose for the camera. The businesslike foursquare amplifiers, the solid shapes of the drum kit, the two acoustic guitars linked to their power supply by sinister coiled electric leads contrasted the vision of womanhood against a down to earth rectangular space that definitely looked street. Instantly, she made up her mind, Alison watching and following her creative moods.

"Okay," she said in her commanding voice."I'll do two shoots, one here and the other with just your guitars and a single drum in your apartment. There's one other thing I want you to do."

"And what's that?" Erin asked in her direct fashion.

"You play me a song so I can be sure to photograph what you're playing," Vanessa replied, tossing her long hair back off her shoulders. All four women brightened up at that illuminating thought. Simone reached for the edge of her T shirt nervously as she had one proposition to put to this meticulous woman whom she knew wanted to get her photographs just right.

"I hope you don't mind Vanessa, but we've got two new songs hot off the press. We've played them acoustic and we really want to work up band arrangements on one of them."

"Suits me," the other woman said nonchalantly in her most calming fashion."You know I do formal portraits where I want everything right but the other side of me can handle a bit of spontaneity. I have a gut feeling that if you do your thing, I'll get the best photographs. Just pretend Alison and me don't exist or treat us as your audience."

The expression on all four women's faces was as if light-bulbs had been switched on in their minds. This was the perfect solution and, while Diane climbed onto her drum seat, the other women plugged in their guitars, tuned up and juggled round with the sound levels. Simone became conscious of standing in the middle of Erin on one side and Annabelle on the other. Her tenacious memory, born of years of teaching, meant that she had sponged up the lyrics and chord changes. She had in her mind a punchier arrangement of the song as she counted the group into the song and a surge of confidence flooded throughout her system. She set up a sturdy guitar riff which the other three women quickly tuned into and their particular musical part jumped into their minds. As Simone launched into the song, Diane let loose a quick drum break settling on the rhythm that her hands had beaten out on her friend's dining table while Erin clipped in a ready bass line. Annabelle stood starry-eyed for a second as her friends instantly ran up a sparkling arrangement of the song until a nicely complex piece of arpeggio playing came instantly from her mind to her fingers along with some chord playing. Simone's voice was so sure, so certain that she was swept up alongside her and she pitched her voice underneath her lover's pure tones. She was in seventh heaven.

As they relaxed into the song, Simone became aware that Alison was watching them wide-eyed with admiration and even Vanessa's strict dedication to the job in hand as her flashbulbs exploded in front of her eyes didn't stop her watching them open mouthed. This really was her first taste of performing before an audience and she loved it.


	43. Chapter 43

"We've come such a long way together Simone," Annabelle said softly and tenderly to the dim shape she could sense in the shadows. The fair-haired woman's presence was tangible even though Annabelle couldn't see her though the feel of her body lying next to her helped. This moment was one of those wonderful end of the day feelings which ought to last forever.

They'd had the time of their lives playing both new songs and running through their concert repertoire while Alison and Vanessa cheered them on once they'd taken their quota of photographs. They'd finally set off back to their studio only out of obligation to other customers due to call in. Very late in the day, they'd ordered a takeaway from the nearby pizza place and finally driven off back home, dog tired but not too tired to indulge in some sweetly tender pillow talk. "When I first came here, I loved learning to live with you, getting to know each other without any outside interference, just living in endless days of sun, sea, sex, walking on the beach together and eating hot dogs."

"I remember," Simone said fondly."We really needed that time together after all that stress and strain."

"We've also got a lot of friends who we can relate to," Annabelle said in a contemplative manner, thinking of all the women they'd come to meet.

"That's good," nodded Simone approvingly."It's what we need, our own mutual support network. It's made everything that happened before in my life obsolete."

"Now we're going to be part of a rock and roll band darling. I hope you don't regret it as I'm not sure what we're letting ourselves in for. It won't be what you're used to."

"I trust you," Simone said, giving her lover a long soft kiss and gently stroking her hair."Erin and Diane feel the same way we do. Everything just happened without either of us really planning it so it was made for this thing to happen same as everything that's ever happened between us," Simone replied in a beautiful stream of flowing words with an undertone of quiet determination." Correction, I was watching you play a Tori Amos song and you seduced me into uncovering another of my secrets- and I'm so glad you did it. I wouldn't have done it if it hadn't been for you."

"What about your photography and artwork?" questioned Annabelle in a worried fashion."I used to love watching you paint those photographs you took. You're really talented and I feel guilty that I've kind of sidetracked you."

"Just relax darling," Simone softly laughed running her fingers along the younger woman's smooth flank and delicately detouring around her flat stomach. The younger woman's heart skipped a beat as she smiled at the line this seduction was now taking. "I have seriously thought about it over the past few weeks but face facts. I'd have to go to college and study professionally to get anywhere to do it properly. I could do it if I put my mind to it but that's not enough. Rock and roll's simpler, more democratic that way and involves us both."

"And more competition from other groups," added the younger woman in a more serious vein, lying on her side with her head on her pillow."Don't forget that."

"That's where having you and Erin and Diane helps. It's not as I'm doing it on my own with you cheering me on from the sidelines. It's about all of us together."

"You really are a determined woman," Annabelle said admiringly. It struck her that this woman of her had had such a hard row to hoe in gaining a direction on her life, especially when she was torn between her desires and her professional obligations as teacher and that, once she'd battled her way through her emotional dilemmas, there was nothing stopping her.

"Come here honey," Simone said in her soft, clear voice, stretching out her arm to touch the other woman's cheek."I want you."

To her inexpressible delight, she felt her lover slide on top of her and opened her legs wide. She ran her fingers through Annabelle's long brown hair, and along the contours of her shapely back.

"You don't know what you do to me- on second thoughts, perhaps you do," she chuckled softly into her lover's ear.

"No perhaps about it. We're tuned into each other," the younger woman observed.

"Mmm. I adore the feeling of lying flat on my back..and you between my legs...and my breasts against yours," Simone sighed luxuriously, speaking in slow languorous phrases to emphasise her feelings.

Both women felt a delicious sense of sexual arousal and emotional intimacy. Added to that, they both had a profound sense of satisfaction with the way their lives were heading. It all made for a heady cocktail. They laughed softly, Annabelle's long hair falling over her lover's body. They tenderly kissed and caressed each other with no sense of urgency in their lovemaking. They were floating on an emotional high that each woman was the answer to what the other was seeking out of life. Their hands, their lips their tongues lovingly explored each other as desire slowly rose inside them.

Simone gave out a little gasp as she felt her lover's hand start to slide down her body and start to caress the contours of her stomach and then slip a little lower. Teasingly, she stopped short of her centre.

"Don't hold out on me honey," she pleaded softly, planting little kisses on Annabelle's face and lips.

"Don't worry, Simone, I'll never let you down," came the reassuringly middle-pitched reply from out of the shadows. While Simone's body was already moving, her soul was calm and reassured by those most wonderful words that said everything about their relationship, appealing both to her loving nature and her libido. Sure enough, the younger woman entered her and gently and infallibly caressed the right spot. Soon, the two women's bodies were moving increasingly rhythmically to the passions unleashed and the fair-haired woman came to a climax that was overwhelming that had her gasping for breath.

"Come here darling," she whispered after she had calmed down," it's your turn now."

And at that, Simone shifted on top of her lover and her tongue and lips lovingly caressed the younger woman's nipples and full breasts. Annabelle knew that Simone adored her womanliness and she arched back as she knew that her lover's appetites weren't exhausted by her orgasm but that she fully intended to go down on her with all her skills in lovemaking which had blossomed in such a short time. Tears of happiness prickled her eyes in gratitude.

"Playing in a band with you is so liberating. It takes me out of myself and puts me where I want to be," Diane said to Erin in a similar intimate conversation in the comfort of their bed."I'll never forget the first time you came into Chico's when I was still under Miranda's thumb."

Erin drew in her breath and exhaled slowly. Miranda had always been a topic of conversation that had been strictly off limits, partly because of Erin's frank dislike of the conceited bitch and Diane's bad memories of having been her lover.

"You'd better talk about it kid. It's a long time coming to get everything off your chest."

Diane looked downwards at herself, at her slim spare shape and laughed briefly. Then her expression grew serious as her turbulent past came back into her mind..

"Ever since I was at high school, I've loved the drums. My school had this corny old fashioned band and they couldn't get any girl to play the drums. It wasn't a very girly thing to do so I thought to myself that I haven't anything to worry about so why not?What's stopping me from doing what I've had a half-conscious hankering for since I was a kid?"

Her partner's profound desire to be the woman she wanted to be melted Erin's large heart that she concealed under her tough facade. She felt the way the younger version of her partner had battled with the strange looks, the whispered conversations behind a covering palm of the hand and the sheer guts in stepping out.

"I'm so glad you did that. That took courage,"Erin said, smoothing her lover's long trailing fair hair out of her eyes. Diane smiled shyly. Receiving compliments made her bashful, even from Erin.

"My music teacher was really good. She sensed very soon that I had natural rhythm and I never really had to work at it. It got so that as long as I could get behind that drum kit, I found a way out of my natural shyness and kind of be the person I wanted to be."

Erin nodded her head slowly at the truth of the remark. Forever imprinted in her mind was the image of her lover's whirling drumsticks and her hair floating back in the wind. She set up this gut root back-beat that Erin knew that Simone and Annabelle got off on. Come to think of it, it talked to her own bass playing which talked back to her lover.

"I've been meaning to ask you. I never asked you how come you got a drum kit of your own?"Erin asked seriously, loving the feel of her arm around her lover's shoulders as they lay, side by side in the shadows.

"You know my folks are separated. Mom told me that he didn't want her little girl to mess around with that rock and roll crowd, to mix up with drugs and boys. Mom knew that I was the other way inclined and figured out that drumming would keep me safe. Somehow she got the money out of him as his part of a graduation present as all he was ever concerned about was money. She even put up with my drumming practice at home. She knows we share this apartment and he doesn't. To him, I'm somehow 'out there'."

Erin shuddered at the way Diane talked of her father. The absence of human reference was very telling.

"I starting hanging out in places before it was legal. My looks got me by. It was only a matter of time before I found Chico's and I first laid eyes on Miranda...In my naivety, I thought she was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen and she was interested in me. I was shy then and couldn't talk except through my drumming. I walked into the room and felt everyone's eyes upon me and I froze. She rescued me as I thought- for her own purposes as I finally found out. I'd fooled around but she was my first lover proper . Very soon, she made it clear in her intellectually obscure way that she was the mentor and I was her initiate. She told me what books to read, how to think, how to make love- her way. At the same time, she gave other women the eye and kept me insecure- especially what I'd heard of her reputation."

Diane's words poured out in a solid stream that scared Erin. She'd never really heard this before except as throwaway asides which were never followed up.

"My drumming was part of my trouble with Miranda. She saw me as this naïve little girl she could mould, being the older sophisticated woman. I really couldn't feel for all all these books I read and I couldn't pretend to talk like her. I sat in with her older friends while all this intellectual conversation went on and she could show me off to them All this time, I kept up my illicit affair with my drum kit when I visited mom. It ought to be cited as co respondent in the breakup. As soon as I sat on the drum stool and started kicking ass, I knew what was real and what wasn't."

Erin laughed at her lover's sharp wit and gave her a long and gentle kiss on her lips. She could feel her lover smile with gratitude and her long arms wind themselves gratefully round her neck. This wasn't really a prelude to their lovemaking but this really close and tender friend comforting her when she needed it.

"I couldn't believe it when I saw you come through the doors at Chico's. You looked so strong and certain of myself. I knew I'd found my escape from an impossible situation."

"I'd only called in for a beer or two. I'd been running around trying to get a job as a bass player and got turned off by all those male musicians who thought maybe I'm a dyke with a carving knife concealed on my person," Erin said in her direct humorous fashion which was right up Nikki's street.

"I saw Miranda and all her friends fade into the background and you stood out. Of course, Miranda was giving me dirty looks which I was oblivious to. I didn't know it but she became history as soon as I saw you. Couple of days later, I was out of there."

"So what do you see in me, baby. You know I love hearing you sing my praises," Erin said with a joking laugh.

"You're honest and centred. I know where I stand with you. Believe me, I was starting to wonder if I'd made a mistake in committing myself so early on only to women until I saw you. I couldn't believe it when you told me you were a bass player. That was too much of a coincidence. I instantly made up my mind that I wasn't going to let you slip through my fingers so I asked you out on our first date- well away from Chico's- so I got away from that intellectual crap forever."

"You took to Simone when you first saw her," Erin said softly, starting to feel those delicious feelings of two women with nothing between them except bare skin and all the time in the world.

"Simone's fine. She's really kind-hearted and generous. I know how well educated she is but she isn't pretentious about it. She'd had a really tough time with all that shit the cops pulled on her but she's come out the other side and she's all the stronger for it. I can't believe she put mine and your song ahead of her own when Vanessa took photographs of us. She and Annabelle took our song and took it places where I could hear it going but we couldn't get it right."

Diane was starting to feel pulses of pleasure start to go through her system. It wasn't just their personal joy that mattered but she knew that their friends generosity of spirit made this evening extra special as they started to run their fingers over each other's bodies.

"She and Annabelle go together so well. I can't believe that she really taught her," Erin said in a slow contemplative fashion that gave way to outright incredulity. Diane burst into an attack of the giggles. This observation was totally priceless. In such an uplifted moment, Diane slid on top of her lover and started to passionately kiss and caress her lover in earnest.


	44. Chapter 44

A small, slight woman was standing on a street corner, oblivious of the hum of the traffic whizzing past. She wasn't really here in time but travelling through the journey of her past wondering how she got here, how she had ever survived. It was Colins.

She could hardly remember any moment in her life when she didn't feel as if she wasn't crawling out of her skin. If she had had any feelings of happiness, they had been swallowed up later on. She'd always been a skinny, nervous, timid child at a disadvantage with her peers in every respect and profoundly unhappy with herself. Even her voice marked her out as vulnerable to the predatory minded. She went through all these traumas right from her first day school onwards. Her strong minded parents breezed confidently through life and never saw the frightened soul who was silently crying out for help. Jane was her only school friend whose house she also visited from time to time. Her parents let them play in the sandpit with her in the untidy back garden where they chattered to each other, played games, and confessed childhood secrets. This was one of her few happy memories

Going to a boarding school tore her away from this source of security as Jane carried on at the local day school in her home town while Colins was whisked off like left luggage.

She remembered being dressed in her new school uniform of short- sleeved white blouse and checked skirt trying to explain what was happening and feeling both miserable as sin and guilty as if she was responsible for abandoning her friend who was crying as well. That was the last she saw of her as she could never reconnect with her even during holiday breaks. She was suddenly plunged into this goldfish bowl existence amongst which swirled the unthinking, the callous and those who plain ignored her. She never forgave her parents for doing this to her. From her first days as a freshman at St Theresa's, she was easily bullied so that her habitual behaviour was to creep cautiously round school, watching out for any dangers lurking in the shadows round corners. Instead of picking out somewhere she could eat with a friend at mealtime, she ended up being pushed away into some corner or other. In class, she was never the one to put up her hand even if she knew the answer to the question the teacher asked the class.

As she started to develop into her teens, another fragile certainty she possessed started to twist and turn in her hands. She saw how more assured girls her age alluded to mysteries of boys they'd met, that the glow in their expression and expression showed how they were starting to blossom into women. Colins looked briefly at her own body and promptly pulled her favourite long-sleeved pullover over her head. She felt more comfortable that way.

It was only when she was wandering around the trees at the back of the school that she found a focus for her life when she found a baby porcupine lying helplessly in the undergrowth. Her heart went out to this fragile creature that was likely to die where she lay unless something was done, Without thinking about it, she somehow cradled the creature in her thick pullover and brought it into school in a completely centred fashion. Unusually for her, the thought of the consequences never entered her head until she suddenly saw Miss Bradley in front of her arms folded and her blue eyes looking down at her. She started stammering out her apologies when the warm-hearted woman indicated that she'd allow her to look after the creature so long as she came up with some practical ideas in looking after the animal. It sparked off ideas in her head that could be translated into reality without too much trouble and revealed practical qualities within her that she never knew existed. Though the poor creature gave off pungent odours, she quite surprised herself in standing up against Cat Pegrum's sarcastic opposition with a spirit she never knew she possessed.

When Annabelle Tillman came to St Theresa's, improvement in her self confidence started to take root in a more durable form. The first moment she spotted her as she carried her tea tray, her heightened sense of danger told her that Annabelle was friendly and she dared to chatter away briefly until Cat Pegrum elbowed her way out of the way with her aggressive glare. Deep in the darkness of night, she sunk into the pit of despair which caused her to resort to her only friend and the instrument of disfigurement, her knife. Only in the dawn of a brand new day when she knew that Prissy, her pet porcupine, needed her tender care were her spirits lifted and she began to realise that relapses into the depths of despair weren't going to last forever.

She remembered in particular to her flash of courage in descending the staircase to the dorm hangout where she heard Annabelle lazily playing the warm sequence of notes on her guitar where she was hanging out with Kristen and Cat. She was everlastingly grateful when Annabelle overrode Cat's cruel rejection of her and took her under her wing. They were about to play a game of 'I never' where the only way of declaring the opposite as a past deeds of badness was taking a swig of Jack Daniels whisky. Colins felt both nervous when she felt that she'd always been cursed throughout her life and goodness didn't remotely enter the picture or she wouldn't have kept on cutting herself. Mixed in with that was some crazy hope that she might be able to declare the one positive act in her life when she told Cat that she'd 'done stuff' without explaining what it was. She definitely wasn't believed but this confrontation was sidelined when Annabelle frankly confessed that she'd slept with another woman. It didn't matter anyway or so she told herself as she shrugged her shoulders and went back to her dorm as her year as a senior allowed her finally to dissolve away her cursed timidity. Having Annabelle as a friend made all the difference which she finally realised when Cat Pegrum spitefully faked her concern to the Mother Immaculata about Annabelle's and Miss Bradley's morals the morning after the end of year party. Somehow, even her naïvety grasped that the two women must be in love but, as she liked both of them, that was all right with her. When Miss Bradley was led off by the police. for once in her life, it was the hated Cat Pegrum who was the outcast and not her.

When she went back home to her mother's she surprised herself to find out that a mysterious change within her had grown up inside her mind, that she had developed a mind of her own and while her mother pronounced her plans in one direction, she had different ideas even though they might sometimes coincide. Since she'd got respectable grades, she had meekly submitted to her mother's determined campaign to make the best of her looks, cosmetic surgery on her right arm to remove the scars, her hair shortened and neatened up, a smart skirt just above her knee, her pullovers replaced by a smart shirt and a touch of makeup.

"You won't be a child forever. You've got to leave it all behind and make the most of your looks. You really look quite attractive you know and besides, you need to look your best for your graduation," her mother said with a faint trace of approval in her voice as she saw that her ugly duckling daughter had been transformed more than she had thought possible. She was quite surprised that, for once her daughter hadn't frozen up intro a panic driven refusal. Who knows, some boy might be interested in her and perhaps she could be married off. She could dream, after all when she'd spent all her years dreaming of a daughter who'd be the outgoing beauty that she'd once been..

When she caught sight of Annabelle and Miss Bradley at the supermarket, their brief friendly chat lifted her spirits so much that she could deal with being hauled off to follow after her mother's militaristic approach to a morning's shopping. This unexpected lifting in her mood prompted her to track down Miss Bradley's address and send Annabelle a birthday card. What really set her up onto a plateau of good feeling was hanging out with Annabelle and Miss Bradley during the graduation ceremony which she loved. She was absolutely sure that the two women looked right together, certainly better than her parents did. She wondered to herself what there was to get so hung up about the idea.

So it was that she found herself out on the street when she'd spotted a poster in her local store and her eyes opened wide with astonishment. This poster showed four women in the cramped confines of a garage, one of whom sat behind a drum kit denoting awesome power while the other three wielded guitars which were wired up to amplifiers. To her total surprise, one of them was Miss Bradley and the other Annabelle. The performance was at a bar called Chico's which she'd never heard of and it was the following night. Her mind was immediately made up. She would tell her mother that she was going to visit some old school friends which was nearly almost true. She nipped into the store to buy some lipstick and makeup.

When Colins came out and stood window shopping at the clothes shop next door, she was tapped on the shoulder from behind her. She spun round to see a fresh-faced blonde with flyaway hair who grinned in recognition at her. Colins was temporarily nonplussed and embarrassed in not being able to recognise the other woman. As her eyes focussed on the other woman's eyes, nose and lips while the rest of the externals became blurred, dawning feelings of recognition returned as she matched it with the image of the child she'd know,

"Hey Jane. Oh wow, how great to see you after all these years," she found herself saying. That shy smile on her face was exactly the same as the other woman remembered.

"Hey, you look great. Let's grab a coffee someplace," the other woman said, impulsively slipping her arm through her friends just like they always used to do but back in the present where she wanted to be. She couldn't believe that someone had switched the light on and good fortune was at last coming her way.

Half an hour later, Father Harris strolled down the street to buy a newspaper and spotted the same poster that Colins had seen. He chuckled with pleasure to himself that his old pupil had found a direction in her life and this chimed in with his desire to be part of a circus until his parents stopped him realising his dream. He was happy for her, knew she'd be a natural and, best of all the Mother Immaculata was in a state of blissful ignorance of this latest act of sinfulness. He was sure that God would see her right.

Sadie sighed with pure relief after getting in from with after a hard day's work at the bank. She'd had her fill of mouthing customer service cliches to awkward customers and wanted her normal life back. She kicked off her high-heeled shoes, ran her fingers along the buttons of her white shirt and ripped it off. She unzipped her skirt and flung it after her shirt and felt that she'd unpeeled a layer of tightly restricting skin. She was standing half-undressed in the living room when the key turned in the lock and a familiar fresh sounding voice hailed her from behind.

"Ah, that's the way I like to see my woman."

Sadie laughed as there was a comical side to her state of undress as all she'd intended to do was to rip off her professional facade. Her lover looked fresh-faced and all-American which was what had appealed to Sadie when they first met. It was a union of opposites and all the stronger for it.

"Thank God you're here. I need you right now," she blurted out, the first thoughts falling out of her mouth.

"Anytime," Jenny said seductively. All she'd intended to do when she'd got home was to chill out but she was versatile.

"You know, this weekend," Sadie murmured an hour later while their work clothes were strewn anyhow on the floor. Her cheek was resting against the inside of her lover's right thigh.

"Mmmm," answered the blond-haired woman in satisfied tones as the last tremors worked through her system. They were used to having conversations in unusual physical positions as it helped them think.

"I was on my lunch break and saw a poster of Simone and Annabelle's new band. They're playing at Chico's tomorrow night."

"Oh yeah. We must support our friends," the dark-haired woman said enthusiastically. She kissed the inside of her lover's thighs and moved up next to her, her hand brushing her hair back from her face, a wide smile on her face.

"So that's settled then," Jenny replied, knowing very well that her lover's urges were needing to be satisfied very soon. She was happy enough making love on the carpet.

"I'm really proud of the purpose our photographs have been put to," Vanessa said, pulling back her hair from her face."I didn't know Simone was an artist as well as everything else." They were about to close up when they looked at one of the photos she'd shot of their group that their friend had lovingly painted over to highlight the colours. It had become a natural centre setting for a white poster to be reproduced and displayed in a selection of stores in the area.

"We will take time out to go to Chico's," pleaded Alison."I know we need all the custom we can get buy workaholism is the American disease, hey."

"Don't worry, we'll go,"Vanessa reassured her partner. She knew she would have to get up that much earlier the next day and that was that.


	45. Chapter 45

Because this was the morning of their first gig, Friday morning broke in on Simone and Annabelle's sleep, throwing bright colours and sharp shadows upon them both. True, this morning wasn't greatly different from a normal balmy Californian summer's day. Their heightened sense of awareness was the first foreknowledge that today was the day that they would transmute themselves into a rock and roll band and discover fresh aspects of themselves. During the morning, they postponed the moment of transition by occupying themselves with nothing in particular as a way of avoiding obsessing repeatedly on what they were going to do. It would serve no good purpose. Despite all this, the uncertainty as to what they were aiming at couldn't stop Simone starting to make her feel strange as this was her first time out as a performer. The clock was ticking onwards and sooner or later, they were due to set off to their friends' place. Finally the younger woman's expression couldn't stop but be clouded with concern as she read her partner's free floating emotions and knew that someone had better say something.

"So you're wondering how being a rock and roll star feels like? You know, if room service will send in a bottle of Jack Daniels," Annabelle said in as light-hearted fashion as was possible.

"That's just it. I don't," Simone confessed, throwing away her natural tendency when under pressure to withdraw into herself. She looked in the mirror at an image of herself dressed in a pair of loose-fitting white trousers and a short-sleeved green T-shirt and didn't believe in herself.

"I know very well mow much it takes to believe in the part," Annabelle gently advised , placing her hands on her partner's shoulders,"but I'll help you pick out an outfit that make you feel the part and feel good on you. Remember, the audience are our friends."

The younger woman could feel her words ease into Simone's tensed up coils of nervous energy and she smiled in agreement in that charmingly girlish way of hers.

"So what are you wearing? Surely not that red slip of yours," she teased, recalling her improvised outfit for St Theresa's end of year dance.

"That's simple. I'll wear my white sleeveless lacy top with jeans."

Annabelle's choice drew a worried frown in reply. She fancied something decorative and feared to be out of line with the others, guessing that Erin and Diane were sure to opt for something similar.

"You ought to wear that white lace dress of yours. It's brought us good luck, it looks good on you and I like the idea of the contrast."

A brilliant smile spread across Simone's face as her friend precisely articulated the mental images and feelings that had floated round at the back of her mind. The resolution of this question raised her confidence level a notch.

"So let's get changed and see how we look," she responded crisply. Smiling, Annabelle led the way to her bedroom and she changed out of her patterned white dress into her own stage outfit. It gave her a strange feeling as she'd worn it at St Theresa's and when she'd first visited here on her spring break. This time around, it signified something different. She looked and felt good about herself. As she turned away from the mirror, she caught sight of her musical partner wearing her white dress and carrying her guitar.

"Will I do?" she asked, smiling shyly.

"Of course you do as always. You'll look great on stage," came the prompt reply.

Simone kissed her partner warmly and gratefully on her lips. She'd gauged her emotions just right.

"There's one song I must sing before we head over to Erin and Diane's place, something I've got to do."

The younger woman raised her eyebrows as she tried to guess what was on her lover's mind and with a wry grin at herself, confessed utter failure. Instead, she politely gestured to Simone to go ahead.

All at once, Simone's clear carrying voice started to sing 'Amazing Grace' out of nowhere to the accompaniment of simple guitar chords with a few slick flourishes which left Annabelle open-mouthed. It was the first song Simone had ever sung and played for her. Her perfect assurance showed how far she'd come and so quickly but there was more than that to it. .

"I'm still a good Catholic girl- in my own way," Simone confessed with her endearing shy smile as if she ought to apologise for her beliefs."I have faith in an exterior presence to pull us through beyond our own strong will. I haven't broken faith with God – I practice it inwardly."

"I can relate to that," Annabelle replied gently, looking into her lover's clear blue eyes before changing out of their outfits into casual clothes that could stand helping to carry and move around cables, amplifiers and components of drum kits . "Are you ready to roll?"

"As ready as I'll ever be," Simone answered with serene assurance, her guitar case in one hand and her suitcase in the other, including makeup. As they clattered up the steps to the car at the top, both women knew that there was no turning back and that they were going forth to meet and shape their destiny with whatever help came their way.

"Really great to see you both,"Erin exclaimed enthusiastically, putting her arms round each woman's shoulders in an especially exuberant fashion. She was relieved to see their friends come bang on time and totally ready. If there was one thing that wound her up, it was promises by those who were dear to her and a total absence of showing up when the commitment was most needed.

"Simone's wearing a white dress and I'll wear my jeans and white top. Once we've got set up then show us the changing room and we'll be ready to play,"Annabelle said crisply, her eyes dancing with delight.

"I know this is my first time out but I'm psyched up to perform. We know the songs and we're playing for our friends and I've done a warmup song,'Amazing Grace' to get myself in the mood," put in Simone quietly.

Erin and Diane exchanged glances that told the other two women that whatever she did was right by them so long as it got her into the right frame of mind. They put their arms round each others' shoulders and gestured the other two in for a group hug. Being part of a group meant that no one got left out in the cold to suffer stage fright in silence.

"There's one thing we've got to do first,"Erin said when they took a seat in the very homely functional apartment, really feeling that they were all together in this enterprise."I need to make a phone call."

Diane looked on knowingly. She knew exactly what her partner was up to and that she was conscious of acting in good faith for all of them.

"I can't believe it. A week or so in sunny California and half my normal makeup becomes redundant," exclaimed Nikki as she applied the finishing touches to her eye makeup in the glittering luxury of their bedroom suite.

Helen's answering smile was wan. She could never quite possess Nikki's knack of totally losing herself in the pleasures of the present. Her instinct that made her a formidable forward planner and administrator over the years in various occupations cursed her in not being able to fully let herself go despite her lover's gentle ministrations to the opposite.

"I know, sweetheart. We'll be returning to wet and windy London in a few days time. We've had some great experiences and met some really lovely women," Helen replied compassionately, aware of how her lover had picked up on her sombre mood. "We've bought some great clothes and books," she added to lighten the mood.

Nikki glanced round at the immaculately decorated hotel suite, all white and white, which contrasted with their more homely and colourful flat halfway across the globe in London and led the way towards the party across town. As they strode confidently towards their hire car outside their hotel, the gorgeous twilit sky was taking the place of the golden reds and oranges of another perfect sunset. It was an image they would never forget.

By contrast, Colins had shyly asked her businesslike father and her organiser of a mother for a lift to the house of her best friend Jane and that she could sleep over. It seemed a reasonable deal to her knowledgeable parents whose capacity to administer their various work empires gave them a sense of judgment. They could remember Jane's parents from way back and they were respectable members of the community who, unfortunately, couldn't afford to send their child to St Theresa's as they had done. It was one of those things, for childhood friendships to be severed in the same way that in their world, those who moved on to another firm and got promotion, left their old work colleagues behind and acquired a new circle of acquaintances. This was what modern America was all about and Colins needed to be grateful that chance had put her old friend back into circulation again. They took one look at the clean cut, blond haired presentable child who was dressed up to the nines and judged that renewing their friendship would be a positive step forward. They were pleased that their shy, retiring daughter had a friend, something that she was not noted for and even that she was wearing a colourful short skirt and top. She had always been a loner and a liability in the all-important requirement in being able to cultivate useful friendships not to say her dreadful habit of wearing long-sleeved cardigans on the hottest of days. Ever since she'd come home from St Theresa's, she become more self-confident, especially when she'd been packed off for some cosmetic surgery which her father hadn't really understood the whys and wherefores but her mother did. After all, she knew about matters like that and also improvements in her wardrobe. All in all, she was ceasing to be the ugly ducking that she'd been all through her childhood and was actually taking care of her appearance. She was less inclined to mope around the house on her own or adopt some waif and stray animal as her pet. They hadn't dared to think that Colins would start dating but they could dream. After all, some handsome boy wouldn't look in her direction as she was still emerging from her childhood shell, socially speaking. Perhaps there was something in that old-fashioned education at St Theresa's, as advertised in their business prospectus, which could bring out qualities in the unlikeliest of children and some of Jane's sense of style was rubbing off on her.

Thinking these grave thoughts, Colins' father drove his excitable daughter across town to Jane's parents house. He only half-heard her talking about how they'd met up by accident and details of how they'd hung out drinking coffee and gone back to Jane's parents place. He paid even less attention to the way his daughter rambled on how she was such a great friend and how great it was that they were together again as, after all, he had a lot of serious business on his mind. He dropped her daughter off outside the proverbial white picket fence and caught a glimpse of them greeting each other before he headed for home. His duty was done.

Miranda made sure that all the girls who worked for her turned up on the dot as this was business as opposed to pleasure. She hadn't changed her mind about the crudity of rock and roll music being an aboriginal sub art form that offended her highly attuned sensibilities for literature and classical music. The one represented the cheap pleasure of the hamburger joint and the drive in movie. The other evoked the highest spiritual sensibilities and rapture that she incorporated into her subtle moves in her lovemaking. All her women throughout her adult life had been there to be mentored by her. They were the adoring neophytes and she was the sophisticated initiator. That's how the expression of her pleasures had operated for years. Her other side was her club which brought her into contact with sparkling conversations with her circle of friends, newcomers to the scene who piqued her curiosity and last but not least, a steady and comfortable income which her commercial instincts wouldn't compromise. Her agreement to hosting this pop concert was based on the enhanced takings from the bar which sweaty rock and roll music in a confined space would be bound to engender.

She shook her head ruefully as she reflected on the business deal she'd done with Erin on the phone. A tough cookie, that one, she confessed to herself with a strong undertone of back-handed respect. The girl was very precise on the logistics of setting up their musical instruments if you could call them that, the percentage they'd take off the bar profits and the details of when they'd perform, offering in return the chance for customers to drink and dance the night away to canned music before they made their appearance. She could hear the background sounds of approval of her negotiations. She could afford to smile at this woman who, though unsophisticated and younger than she was, had a force of personality that she respected. As she wiped the polished wooden bar counter with a cloth, she reflected on the fact that everyone were winners on this night.


	46. Chapter 46

The four women worked like slaves in packing all their gear into their two cars. It meant disassembling the drum kit and amplifiers and and packing them in carefully into the limited space. The solid weight of Erin's bass guitar and the lighter weight of two electrified guitars had to be accommodated not to say the space the guitar cases occupied. Around all this, their stage clothes took up the last of the precious space. Finally, Simone looked at her watch and it was half past three on a sunny afternoon

"So why all the hurry?" Simone finally queried as Erin gave the last of her directions and wiped her brow.

"We need to plug this into the PA system at Chico's so we get a rounded sound. That's partly what I was talking to Miranda about after I clinched the business deal," Erin said in her laconic fashion. The other three women grinned at the way Erin had dealt with the formidable owner of the club. Annabelle frankly admired their friend's eye for detail and was grateful for their greater experience of this kind of thing.

"Don't worry, Erin's the electrician around here and I help her out,"Diane said reassuringly to the unspoken question suspended in mid air.

"That's a relief as I'm not really practical. Just the same, I didn't know that being in a rock and roll band could be so sweaty," Simone confessed in her charmingly girlish fashion.

"You wait till we're packing up after the gig after we've played our asses off," laughed Erin. Her expression became more reflective as memories started filtering back into her mind.

"Still, the buzz makes it all worthwhile if we get it right and I have the feeling this night's going to be special,"she added as the basic feeling that had prompted them to throw in their lot with Simone and Annabelle came significantly closer to being realised. A thrill ran through her system as imaginary sights and sounds and feelings percolated their way through her lively imagination.

"So are we getting going or what?" asked Diane, dabbing a floppy hat over her long fair hair that had materialised from out of nowhere.

"She's keen you know," joked Annabelle, her gleaming white teeth shown off in her attractive smile. A nicely sororial four way banter helped seal their comradeship in arms as they'd reached the point when the they'd ceased being just two lesbian couples but four close friends who could laugh and joke with each other.

In another part of town, Colins and Jane were snuggled down in the back of a cab, feeling exited beyond measure as they set off to Chico's. Outside, the flat lands whizzed past, all palm trees and billboards, the only constant being the brilliant oranges and reds of the burning sunset. Neither of them knew where the idea came from, it just arrived. By sheer chance, it was conveniently close to Jane's house once adolescent inventiveness had done its homework. Both girls felt a thrill of pleasure coursing through their systems that their destination would arrive quicker than they might have imagined. Colins felt good about herself dressed in her new skirt and top while Jane looked wondrous in her low-cut dress and the sweet perfume emanating from her. In front of them, the middle-aged man drove stolidly onwards to some bar or other on just another job taking two kids out on a teenage drunk but then again, it wasn't his business.

"You do know what we're letting ourselves in for, Colins?" Jane asked a little anxiously. She knew of old her friend's tendency to get into a panic.

"It's as if I've led my life with my eyes shut, terrified to look at what's around me and now my eyes are open, there's nothing to be scared of. This has been a long time coming, that's all," Colins replied slowly with the utmost deliberation in her tone of voice. This took Jane aback. The words were so poetic for a start and Jane was still a little way back in their collective past when her friend was timid and childlike. It was this turnabout that roused Jane's fascination with her old friend whose brown eyes never left her own.

"We've never talked so much in my life when we had coffee the other day. I enjoyed every minute of it," Jane said, squeezing her friend's hand impulsively. They took their time to regretfully let go of each other, feeling a little shy at feelings that were seeping into their consciousness. Colins's shy smile in reply was as Jane had always known her but this time, there was something in it that was thrillingly new.

Erin rapped confidently enough on the closed front door of Chico's which, at that time of the day, had all the appearance of being shut for business and not at home. After a few minutes, a slightly dishevelled Miranda let a crack appear in the doorway, looking suspiciously at her.

"We're here early to get set up for the sound check," Erin said with perfect assurance, Annabelle standing foursquare behind her and acting as visual backup.

"So long as you don't get in my way," came the slightly surly reply. A young girl could be seen in the background as the door opened wider. She looked slightly flushed, her hair all awry and looking as if her T-shirt had been hastily dragged over her head. Simone felt a twinge of sympathy as she'd been caught out in circumstances worse than this. The girl was of an age where public embarrassment meant the heavens had fallen in on her.

"Show us where to plug in and perform and you'll need to show Erin where we can hook up to your PA," Annabelle said shortly to cut out the crap. Miranda gestured impatiently to the cleared area, the wall sockets and the space behind the bar

"I've got business to sort out. I'll see you later," Miranda said in a lowered voice out of the corner of her mouth to the girl giving her a sideways nod to the girl to return to whence they had come. Imperiously, she swept forward to the counter area and engaged in a rapid conversation with Erin with strict injunctions to take care. Erin could understand the other woman's concern leaving someone she hardly knew to screw around with the electrics. When she had done, she stalked off to the back of the bar. The other three women looked expectantly at her friend.

"We'll be OK. This setup is a cinch. I'll see to it while you guys haul in the gear."

Simone being closest the door, propped open the front door wide and joined the others who unloaded the cars in a businesslike fashion and carted everything in to the spot where Erin's free hand was pointing, a nice natural alcove near the sockets. They set to work with a will and only when they'd done did Simone step back, wide-eyed as the purposeful display of drums, mike stands and finally, their guitars leaning against their amplifiers, black cables snaking their way around their apparatus, leaving space clear for three of them to sing and play. She stepped up to where her place would be, taking in slow and careful breaths of air. This was now where her life was headed, her lips told her, and all she needed were the song lyrics she'd learnt to sing and her finely honed guitar playing skills. A feeling of electricity pulsed through her as she silently blessed the invisible powers that had mentally set her up on the path she'd now chosen. It reminded her of the prospect of her very first day in front of a class and she realised the power within her of being a teacher. Now she was using different mediums to realise herself in the same way.

"You all right Simone?" Diane asked, sitting behind her drum kit. Simone smiled back , reached for her guitar and broke into an unamplified snatch of one of their songs while Diane kicked off a tattoo from her drum kit with whooshing sounds off her cymbals. Annabelle looked around with satisfaction, being in the band that she'd helped create rather than being thrown together with a random bunch of strangers.

"Hey, there's time enough to do a sound check, rock star," bantered Erin before her warm smile spread over her face. Perhaps she might quit going through stage nerves on the quiet one of these days."It's great you're feeling good."

Simone slipped off her guitar and joined the others in ensuring that everything was properly connected while Erin did the finishing touches at her end. Under hers and Diane's direction, the four women set about playing random chords and drum hits and juggling them around with guitar amplifier settings and finally got the voice microphones pitched right against it to their satisfaction. Diane smiled mischievously to herself at the though of what this was doing to Miranda's love life right now but, hey, they were four working women who were due for a little respect. Finally, they blasted off a few of their songs mixing the louder with softer songs which resonated nicely round the room. All four of them were feeling good and ready to play.

"Hey, we'd better order some takeaway food. We don't want to be starving later," Diane called out.

"She's as skinny as hell but she's got a hollow gut," joked Erin to the others."Never put on an ounce all the time I've known her."

At the appointed hour, the first comers drifted their way up to Simone's coloured performance poster which took their interest and, on entering the bar, caught sight of the impressive array of musical instruments. This gave them a sense of anticipation of the unknown while the group members were on their way backstage to eat the takeaway meal they were carrying. Some of them remembered those two gorgeous English women who'd triggered images of British films which featured the interesting and exotic. Chico's was coming up in the world to their estimation. Michelle Peters wasn't interested in anything but whether or not she could get off with Miranda, that dark-eyed beauty and classic older woman that she was pursuing. The mental image of her former teacher, Miss Bradley was something she would sooner forget. By contrast, Sadie saw things differently as two of them had once very nervously asked her to open up a joint account. She had introduced them to Erin and Diane and also to the scene where her partner Jenny first met them. Vanessa and Alison felt likewise having taken photographs of them firstly for themselves and later as part of the group. They fervently wanted their friends' venture to succeed as friends they knew and related to. To Colins, the fair-haired woman who passed them by dressed in black trousers and white shirt was Miss Bradley while Annabelle gave her a friendly wave as always. Jane took her friend by the hand and ordered two large glasses of wine from the bar which they carried to the table by the window, at right angles to the improvised stage. Already, the bar was rapidly filling up, faster than usual to Miranda's satisfaction so the music induced some of the women to dance.

Colins' eyes widened as she snatched glances of the out and out womanhood swaying rhythmically to the music. It was scary and exciting at the same time so she rapidly downed half her glass of wine to bolster her spirits. As coloured lights flickered and flowed over the crowd in the half-light, Colins stared into her friend's eyes and vocalised the first thought that came off the top of her head.

"You look beautiful tonight, Jane. Your dress, your makeup."

"That's because I dressed up specially for you Colins. We're going out together."

"Oh," Colins replied in charming innocence. The thought literally had never crossed her mind."I mean I don't often go to dances."

"There is nothing wrong in doing something different. Everything is allowed."

The words sparkled through Colins' system like the heady wine she'd been drinking. The obvious next though were out of her lips in a blink of an eye.

"Like to dance? That is if you don't mind."

"I thought you'd never ask," laughed Jane gently, showing her white attractive smile and looking gorgeous. Strange warm feelings swam around inside her that she'd never felt before but they felt right, bolstered by the old knowledge that their friendship was meant to be. They both finished their drinks and headed out to the dance floor where they immediately felt as one with the crowd.

Helen and Nikki loved dancing. It allowed them to let loose their feelings to be free of constraint without actually making love. Each admired the other's skills and the little moves that they made. This time they were part of the gang that made them instantly at home thanks to their talk last week. Nikki looked to the side of them and was touched by the sight of two young girls who were obviously on their first date and looked so innocent, especially the dark-haired girl. She gave her an encouraging smile, gestured reassuringly to her partner who was shaking it on the dance floor before they were lost in the crowd. Vanessa's long dark, hair, normally tied back flailed away in tempo to the music as her lean body gyrated enthusiastically to the music, freed from hours holding herself in constrained positions to take the perfect photo and spending time in the dark room. Sadie loved letting loose after hours of being the corporate customer services officer persona while Jenny just loved the uptempo music to warm her up. Michelle Peters glumly drank at the bar while Miranda's attention beamed in twenty different directions as her way of keeping in charge. Finally, she judged that the mood was right for the DJ to play smoochy romantic music.

It was at this moment when the women slid into each other's arms when Colins had a momentary feeling of panic as she felt put to the test. This was too much, too soon. However, Jane guessed her friend's thoughts and her hand enfolded her friend's in her own, urging comfort.

"Don't worry Colins. All the women dancing together are saying 'yes' to us. Just relax," she said ever so softly and tenderly.

The dark-haired girl let her friend's arms encircle her and the feel of Jane's perfumed body up close cast an intoxicating spell on her. She breathed out all the tension in her body, snuggled up close , her face nuzzling against her friend's neck. Feeling her friend's soft hands stroking her felt good as the golden thought struck her that she was embracing another woman and, very tentatively, she kissed her friend's soft neck.

"I really love looking into your eyes," that very soft, very clear voice sounded in the dark-haired girl's consciousness. She raised her head and was deliciously lost inside the spell of loving eyes and slightly parted lips so close to her. This was the moment, Colins thought, in case she lost her nerve at the very last minute. Their lips softly brushed against each others, then again and at the third time, they didn't separate. Now Colins could fully frame the feelings that had been tugging at her to be given name and recognition and it was desire. Strange sounds came from her throat as she felt a soft tongue softly but insistently press against her lips and their mouths opened wide each other. The feel of their tongues caressing each other was like heaven- it was always meant to be.

Nikki stole glances to the side of her as Helen's soft arms were draped round her and smiled tenderly and nostalgically at the two girls who'd plucked up the courage to cross the line as they smiled bashfully in her direction after that long kiss. Young love, first love, she thought, something that overwhelms you with its intensity. She knew herself how it felt and also through Helen's eyes. She really wanted their love to blossom and last forever and knew that, despite her sophisticated poise, she was a real softie.

Behind the bar, Simone paced around with pent up energy, fiddling with the front of her dress where her crucifix had once hung. Erin and Diane went through their usual ritual of feeling tense inside but knew that, once on stage, their energies would released. Annabelle chewed the bottom of her lip and fiddled with a lock of her hair. She knew that it was up to her to make that initial mark on the audience with her first song and enable Simone to spark that performance high within herself.

Finally, Miranda slipped backstage and rapped on the door. They grabbed their guitars. It was time to go.


	47. Chapter 47

The four women carried their guitars slung over their shoulders and clattered out of their improvised dressing room into the dance hall and threaded their way through to the stage area. The music from the DJ had stopped and the expectant hush laid all the focus of attention on them. In a moment of uncertainty as they plugged into their amplifiers while Diane climbed aboard her drum stool, they hoped there wasn't going to be a last minute electronic glitch while being keenly aware of their need to face the audience. A few drum rolls, guitar strums and bass rumblings convinced them that everything was fine. Annabelle stepped up to the mike and smiled out into the coloured lights that focussed on them, blanking out their friends in darkness.

"Hi, we're 'The Creation' and we've come to play our songs for you. The first number was written not by us but by Tori Amos and this is our version of 'Pancake.'"

All at once, Simone and Annabelle set up a powerful undulating succession of chords which Erin's bass underpinned with a stomach jerking figure and Diane battered away on the drums and the full power of four women was unleashed. It grabbed at the vitals of the audience who knew the song. Then Simone and Annabelle stepped up to their mike and their sweetly interlocking harmonies took flight into the same musical figure and feelings of defying the world flowered in all of them when they came to the chorus at the end of which Simone's voice flew up wordlessly into the stratosphere. She hadn't dared to do it before but she had always wanted to emulate her heroine.

"You give me yours

I'll give you mine

cause I can look your God

right in the eye."

Finally they came to the cryptic line about ordering a pancake and the song faded away to a dying whoosh on the cymbals to a sudden dead silence when the hearts were in the throats of four anxious women.

"More, more," yelled out Helen in her carrying voice, soon joined in by Nikki and then the audiences who included friends the group had made along the way. It became an echoing multitracked chant that brought tears to the performer's eyes. This was validation beyond their wildest dreams. Women out there loved what they were doing.

"We'd like to do a song that we did write, it's by Diane on drums and Erin on bass," called out Simone, feeling vibrantly alive, up high with the feeling that they could do anything they wanted. Diane grinned appreciatively as she let loose a drum break, followed by a curly bass line from Erin and then Simone and Annabelle got into the forceful, slightly quirky song as they played and sang in unison. As Diane rapped out her steady rhythms on the drums, she loved her friend's decorative touches to the basic melody she'd originally sung. The way they put their hearts and souls into the song roused Erin's large capacity for warm friendship for them. The song rocked along in a foursquare, no nonsense fashion till its final conclusion with Annabelle's guitar flourish and Diane's drum roll brought the song to a rousing conclusion. Cheering broke out in response to their two strong opening numbers.

"You're a marvellous audience and good friends of ours," called out Simone excitedly with a distinct tremor in her voice."This next song is one of mine called 'Ladies of the Canyon'

All at once, Simone and Annabelle played tinkling guitar runs while Erin conjured up jazzy bass runs to Diane's subdued drumming and the lyrics were thrust forward for the audience to hear. It spoke of love and friendship amongst women in the sun-kissed California coast and wended its way through the imaginations of all who heard it. All the women reached backwards into their past and related to the present so the smiles of encouragement Colins and Jane had received during their courtship was for real. She looked awestruck at the way her one time teacher sang the sort of words she'd once recited at poetry except that these were hers . To Helen and Nikki, they spoke of what life was like in the faraway club called Chix under rainy London skies and they knew now that Simone and Annabelle's high intelligence would work its way into this performance. This time the applause for the song wasn't rapturous outpourings for spectacular musical energy but a thoughtful giving back of their feelings which had been sung for them.

"This next song is by the poet Walt Whitman which was a favourite when I taught English. Apologies to the poet but I had to change the words around so we could sing it. It stuck with me so when I first learned guitar, my melody got changed around by all of us. Anyway, I hope you like it."

Colins looked worshipfully at the totally charming way Miss Bradley sought approval, this woman whom she idolised. She shook her head in wonder at this incongruity. All at once, Simone's singing declamation of the poem to her slow steady strumming was embellished by the three other women's musical interjections. The song gradually gained momentum as Diane and Erin found it interesting just what sounds they cared to drop into the musical mix. In that way, the lyrics expressing love as dissolving the physical boundaries between two lovers appealed to the intelligence and sensitivities of women who'd come across poetry in high school and hadn't revisited it. The song freaked out Michelle Peters, propping up the bar at the back of the room as she used to sit on the front row in Miss Bradley's class, adoringly listening to her as she strode around reciting the poem.

"This next song of mine has personal importance," called out Annabelle in her clear voice, emboldened by her partner to speak as well as play." It's a love song I wrote for Simone when I thought she was so near but so far away. I guess every woman's been through that."

All at once, her honey coated voice, pitched lower than Simone's, reached out to the audience and tinkling guitars were backed up by a softly buzzing bass and clicking sounds of the drums and finally Simone added her own ethereal harmonies to make a gorgeous confection. .

"In the space between what's wrong and right

you will find me waiting for you."

The contrast between the lilting song and the emotions overflowing from the two women as they sang was overwhelming. Annabelle relived all those moments when invisible ties held her back from the woman who was clearly falling for her while Simone could feel the situation through Annabelle's eyes. It didn't make the song any easier to sing but bursting through all restraints made it a prayer of hope for both of them. These words hit home to all the women in the audiences whose lives were being sung for them. Behind the two singers, Erin and Diane felt comfortable in backing away from the no holds barred rock and roll attack of the first couple of songs as it gave them a chance to feel their way amongst the cracks of the songs and explore their own feelings.

"My sheets are warm

I will shelter you from the storm."

I will shelter you all through the storm."

Those repeated words sent a shiver through Nikki's soul as it expressed so vibrantly that protective streak in her a mile wide that made her want to defend every woman she'd ever loved with her psyche, her intelligence, her passion and her fists if need be. Tears streamed down her face and Helen hugged her warmly, deeply moved. Sadie marvelled at the talents she'd never suspected when Simone and Annabelle had first known her as a customer. Vanessa and Alison felt profound satisfaction as their photograph of the group had been realised in this marvellous performance.

"The answers aren't so easy to find

The questions will have to do

Cause I've lost myself so deep in your life

My only fix is you."

The keening voice hit the spot for all the women who gave an audible gasp that these four women had hit the spot so exactly, It made them wrap an arm round their partner and it drove it home to Colins that what had happened between her and Jane could never be undone and that loving her woman was perfectly natural. Her doubts and fears were forever consigned to the past as a new version of Colins could step out into the world.

"This is an old folk song I heard somewhere. It was written for a guy for his woman. It is so easily adaptable and sounds beautiful," Annabelle called out when they got into their sixth song. They couldn't believe how marvellously the concert as all the ideas they'd talked about, all their rehearsals had led to everything going spectacularly right. They also felt the women emotionally hunger for the eccentric way their songs veered between styles yet covering all bases. This was a meal for the senses.

"Yes and only if my own true love was waiting

Yes and if I could hear her heart a softly pounding

Only if she was lying by me

Could I sleep in my bed once again."

Diane loved the delicate feel of drum brushes as 'Orange Moonlight" got under weigh as it almost didn't have an obvious rhythm at all. The lyrics were so sparse that it enabled all four women to put their music into it it just as they wanted to. Erin's gently zooming bass line took long strides in wandering around in an intriguing fashion as Annabelle joined Simone in delicious harmonies and letting her nimble fingers work in counterpoint to Erin. It conveyed the delicious feeling of sitting by the great Pacific ocean and letting thoughts dreamily emerge.

"This is our second Tori Amos song. I guess you could say we're fans of her music," Simone said with a gentle laugh as the four women got into the next song " A sorta fairytale," announced Simone and away she went, leading off with her sure singing and playing that the rest soon piled into. As Annabelle picked out intricate lead work, she glanced affectionately at her lover whose profile faced the audience. She remembered playing this song for the shy woman whom she'd had to coax into playing the guitar and now just look at the radiant confidence that emanated from her. She was such a star.

"On my way up North

up on the Ventura

I pulled back the hood

and I was talking to you

and I knew then it would be

a lifelong thing."

The lovely lilting song conveyed all the feel of driving along a Californian coastal road which all of them could relate to, Helen and Nikki included. They'd had to fly halfway across the world so they went out of their way to drive this route than those where it was just beyond their backdoor.

"This last song was written by one of the old time male rock and rollers, like the guy who converted our acoustic guitars to play electric. This song is affectionately dedicated to him and also all the women in the world who can do it on the road,"Annabelle called out loudly in a rousing tone of voice, an invitation to party. She felt so good about herself. Right then, as Simone powered her way into the song on rhythm guitar, she loved the way Annabelle had recently taught her to play chords in G, hitting that top string three frets up on every third beat in a four bar. It felt like magic as she and Annabelle powered their singing into one microphone that might have been bending under the shock waves they were generating. Diane grinned away, hair flowing back from her shoulders as she battered her way through drum rolls on top of the kick ass rhythm she was generating. Beside her, Erin played those gloriously old fashioned boogie rhythms up and down her fretboard, hunched in tight over it with her concentration, wanting to give of her best. This was the exactly right song to round up the set with.

"Left a good job in the city

Working for the man every night and day

And I never lost one minute of sleeping

Worrying about the way things might have been

Big wheel keep on turning

Proud Mary keep on burning

Rolling, rolling, rolling on a river."

Simone started to move around on stage, something she'd never done before as she grinned with happiness as she sang while Annabelle's nimble fingers coaxed a distinctly electric rock lead style which was something she had only fooled around at the fringes of before. It knocked her out and made her feel so good and reminded her again that she really had always wanted to be a bit of a rock star and Cat Pegrum could go shove that jeer of hers when they first ever met. She'd denied it in her head at the time and never played a note in public. That was then so why should she deny the truth in herself? She managed to lassoo her psyche down to the ground when she sang out that irresistible ode to an old time Mississippi paddle wheeled steamer. Finally, they ground the song to a halt in a flurry of drum rolls and guitar mayhem, the last song of the set.

"More more," yelled out the crowd as sweat and tears of joy streamed down the faces of four women as they waved at the audience, feeling totally exhausted. The applause went to their heads like the finest wine but there was one slight problem that the straight-talking Erin voiced as she moved closer to Simone and Annabelle.

"What'll we do next? My mind's a blank."

"So's mine," whispered Annabelle as she smiled and waved.

"I've got an idea," Simone said.

"Then do it. We'll back you."

"Let's do 'Amazing Grace' but we're going to make it real. Diane can join us on the singing."

The other two women looked blankly, not sure where this was leading but put their faith in her. Simone stepped up to the mike and replied from them all, feeling as if she was on the stage of the Santa Monica Civic.

"Thank you so much. The last song isn't ours as it's about being saved. I'm still a Catholic girl but I feel that God's been often misquoted. This is about the spirit that saves us and assumes many forms."

The appreciative laughter concealed the question as to just what these unpredictable women were going to do next as they'd effortlessly hopped from genre to genre. Simone turned the volume control down and slowly strummed the introductory chords and clear beautiful singing emanated from somewhere deep within her..

"Amazing Grace how sweet the sound

That saved a wretch like me

I once was lost but now I'm found

Was blind but now I see."

The other three women joined in not knowing where this was leading but exhibited blind faith. As Annabelle came to the last line, the Marcel Proust line in the book Simone had once given her hit her emotionally so that tears came to her eyes. "The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes." She knew exactly what Simone had been getting at from when she'd first sung the song for her weeks back and now she could see. She harmonised with Simone with fresh enthusiasm.

"Through many dangers, toils and snares

We have already come

Twas grace that brought us safe so far

And grace will lead us home."

"That's it. We really have run out of songs," Simone said shakily and she led the way out of the multicoloured centre stage as the audience's cheers echoed and reechoed round the hall . The four women left their guitars propped up against the amplifiers and drum sticks on the stool and climbed down, mentally speaking, from the stage as the coloured lights shifted away from their single focus. They felt as if they were scrambling down the high sides of the stage back down to normal living amongst their friends even if the adrenaline rush kept them at an emotional high. They gratefully accepted the plaudits that were heaped on them from friendly women and collapsed into grateful seats beneath them. Miranda came over and thanked them very graciously for their hard work. Only with an effort did a sliver of Erin's down to earth mind nature note that the place was packed out with lots of thirsty women as the club had got very hot. Otherwise, she was as overjoyed as the rest of them to be so brilliantly received as artists, not as machine automatons. Vanessa and Alison nipped to the bar very quickly and bought in drinks for the four of them and themselves. Simone and Annabelle certainly appreciated the long glasses of fruit drinks as their throats were parched. Diane had worked out way more than the toughest gym session could have demanded of her and Erin fancied a drink as being the cool bass player demanded more effort than was apparent. All four of them knew very well that they had to quit being rock stars and act the way they normally did but deep down, they knew they were bitten by the rock and roll bug. Their group was off the launching pad and they had to get more gigs, certainly after Erin had squared their takings from Miranda. All these contrary impulses whirled around in their heads as they chilled out and chatted to their friends who were still their friends.


	48. Chapter 48

"This feels really weird," Nikki said to Annabelle and Simone when they eventually caught up with their friends from out of the mental fog they'd been immersed in after they'd played their gig."Helen and I are flying back to London on Sunday."

"Oh," said Annabelle, feeling as if she'd suddenly lost a limb, their British friends having become so much part of their own lives and the whole local lesbian scene. Nikki knew exactly what the other woman was thinking.

"We feel the same. Our job and friends are back home but we feel like we're stuck in another place and time only we don't know whether or not we even want to get out of it. Going back to England feels unreal."

"You have to do what's right," Simone put in, duty calling in her own scheme of things. It immediately resonated with Helen and Nikki reluctantly saw the point of view. It didn't make them feel any better especially when they knew that both dear friends of theirs would like nothing more than them settling down to live and work here.

"We meant what we said about you coming over to London. We don't believe in disposable friendships as good friendships last," Helen said emphatically.

"We'll sort something out," Annabelle said instantly, the very next moment feeling that her words were lame.

"We know you're bitten by the rock and roll disease. We know you'll work really hard getting your group well known. Just tell us that when you can spare the time, you'll phone us. We'll make arrangements and we'll stick by them,"Nikki asked with her very real intensity of feeling.

The two women breathed in and out to grab some thinking time. This kind of introspection after their gig somehow wasn't easy. Gradually they realised these two smart women were spot on.

"We've got your mobile numbers which we won't lose. We will call you up when we can grab some spare time if it suits you. We give our word on it," Simone said earnestly.

"Then that's good enough for us," Helen answered with her direct, level gaze.

"We're going back to Jane's place, Miss Bradley. Her parents have gone away for the weekend," Colins said with shining eyes and a self confidence that was new. She and Jane had wrapped their arms lovingly round each others waists.

"Simone," the fair haired woman laughed gently."We're all out of school now. You go and have a wonderful night together. Annabelle and I know how that feels."

Colins gazed up into this very kind-hearted woman and savoured the total blessing she bestowed on them. Impulsively, she kissed the other woman on the cheek and Jane followed her lover's hasty exit, shooting a grateful look at Simone whose brief experience of her impressed her greatly.

Jane and Colins stumbled into the cab, feeling giggly and on top of the world. They looked fondly back at the dark shape of Chico's bar which had been instrumental in changing their lives and they looked fondly at each other. They felt transformed.

They padded lightly upstairs and headed straight for Jane's bedroom. Once inside, they looked around. Everything felt familiar, perfectly normal, the normal pink colour scheme and fluffy toys.

"I can't believe we're home at last," Colins breathed. She was on the point of saying that she had spent many sleepovers in this bed, snuggled down in their nighties. Those were innocent times and she wasn't in the mood for nostalgia and neither was Jane. It wasn't till she realised that she would be getting undressed that her body froze.

"Darling, if you're more comfortable getting undressed in the dark, that's fine," Jane said tenderly, laying her hand protectively on her friend's forearm. The other woman nodded dumbly.

"I know how self- conscious you are about your body. I want you to feel comfortable and happy. Just give me a hand with my zip first."

Colins gingerly eased her friend's zip down revealing smooth golden skin and the light clicked out. Presently, she felt caring hands remove her top and unbutton her own skirt, felt herself being led by her hand and slip into bed. Colins reached out and hugged her tightly to herself as they pressed into each other. The feel of their skin against each other was exquisite.

"You make a woman feel loved," Jane whispered into Colins ear. They kissed hungrily , eager for the taste of each other before Jane's soft lips started travelling down to her neck and shoulders. The habitually cautious girl became more confident as every fresh move felt so good.

"God you feel gorgeous. I want you so much," Colins whispered as she caressed her lover, desires rising up in her.

"And I want you. You feel so good," Jane whispered back, feeling on fire inside as her lips slipped around Colins' hard nipples. Colins gasped as intense pleasures ran through her and she whispered sweet endearments while Jane's hand started to move purposefully down the dark-haired woman's body.

"I love you Colins. I love you so much," Jane said passionately as her hand stroked Colins flat stomach to enhance the anticipated pleasure. Finally, Jane's two fingers slipped inside her lover whose mind exploded and body moved every which way.

As soon as Colins recovered her breath, she slid on top of her lover, wanting so much for the dearest woman on earth to be happy.

Several hours later, Colins lay curled up next to Jane. The taste in her mouth felt good. She had never known she could give her lover so much pleasure even after she'd been shown the way in the first place. It struck her that after all this physical and emotional intimacy, her friend was a dark shadow in the gloom. Impulse drove her to lean over Jane and reach for the switch of the bedside light and click it on. Old memories taught her where it would be. Jane lay suddenly revealed, eyes blinking but smiling and looking beautiful in her nakedness. She looked at herself and for the first time in her life, felt truly great about herself.

"Just wanted to see what you looked like," she explained with an impish grin, adding without trace of hesitation."That's the last time we get undressed in the dark."

"I can't believe what a natural lover you are. My mother always said it's the quiet ones you have to watch."

In this moment of naked truth where everything was revealed, Colins couldn't help asking a question that had nagged at her unconscious.

"How did you get to be such a confident lover? Don't get me wrong..."

"Miranda. She picked me up and threw me aside for the next victim. At least I got something out of it I could pass on to you. And you?"

"I went out with a boy who only did it as his friends dared him. He wasn't very considerate. It happened a year ago. I never told anyone about it ..."

Jane shuddered inwardly, knowing her friend of old. She interrupted Colins by laying a long soft kiss on her lips. The dark-haired woman smiled under it.

"Let's put all unpleasant experiences behind us. I think we can do it. They don't matter," Jane said, stroking her lover's forehead."Nothing matters except our love for each other."

"You're my girlfriend and I'm yours. We'll be happily ever after..." Colins proclaimed

"Forever and ever. Amen,"Jane giggled, joking like in the old days with an undertone of seriousness that was new. Colins kissed her back eagerly.

When Colins finally woke up to next day's glorious sunshine, she knew three incredibly joyful facts about her lips rested against the smooth skin of her lover's back She was a lesbian- before she'd reconnected with Jane she didn't think she was anything. Her best friend Jane was also her lover. The stressful feelings that normally haunted her had miraculously disappeared into thin air.

Come Saturday early afternoon, "The Creation" consisting of four happy women who felt pleasantly wiped out beyond their imaginings, were hanging out at Simone and Annabelle's place. They had crashed out like a light at their respective houses but knew they had to gather to celebrate the knockout success of their first gig. The brilliant Californian sun bathed them all in a luminous feeling of glowing joy and needed to talk in tired spasms to internalise the overload of sensations of last night while a succession of images, jerking forward from one frame to the next like an old fashioned film, replayed themselves inside their minds.

"Last night was just too much," sighed Diane, splayed out on the armchair with Erin wrapped around her."I was getting off on watching you guys as much as I was playing my ass off- even on the quiet numbers."

"It was so weird. I thought I was watching this fantasy dream of everything we ever wanted and, there it was, we were in it," Simone added in a dreamy, spaced out manner. Annabelle smiled slightly, remembering the precise phrasing and articulation of her one time teacher, but agreed with the sentiment.

"You mean we should take the group onto the next stage, Simone. More gigs?" questioned Annabelle.

"That's exactly what I do mean. We've got great songs, our own or someone else's. We can sing and play. We can perform great and we believe in ourselves," Simone pronounced with firm conviction.

"And Erin's a great businesswoman. Just see the cheque Miranda wrote for us," Diane said, proud of her lover and musical partner.

"I had some hassle getting as much as I did so she wrote it out to Simone."

"Which means we need a group bank account," Simone put in.

"Sadie will help," Annabelle suggested.

"But how do we get more gigs?" questioned Simone.

"We'll work on it. The idea will come," Annabelle lazily assured them all.

A silence fell on them all on this dreamily wonderful day. They were conscious that, even in their overloaded state, the ideas were pulled enticingly into the centre of a centrifuge at a dizzying pace. Simone suggested a cup of tea which the others chuckled appreciatively at, being willing to listen to ideas from everyone and it sounded like the perfect chill-out drink.

Nikki looked with visible distaste at the wardrobe where their they'd carelessly stashed their suitcases a lifetime ago. By the rules of calendar time, it had been eleven days ago but it didn't feel that way. Their hotel room had been only a base for them while they travelled through space, time and fantastic conversations but it had grown on them and felt like home. They'd already hugged and kissed their friends goodbye at Chico's and that was emotional enough. Now, everything was due to be disassembled and packed away and their room would become just another hotel room for others to occupy. She sighed over the impossibility of the situation and knew that, while Helen would go into organising mode, felt the same as she did. Time was running out on them, the airline ticket was stashed away ready and their passports would transport their identities back to England.

"Oh shit," Nikki sighed wearily."I know we've got to get packing."

"But?" Helen inquired with raised eyebrows.

"We're leaving a lot behind us like the friends met, the sights we've seen, the experiences we've gone through, everything I've ever dreamed of."

There was a long silence which Nikki respected before Helen answered at last.

"I can't disagree with you," Helen said gently.

"I know. I want all our friends I've ever known to be just down the road so we can hang out together. I know and you know it can't happen. OK, let's get going," Nikki said softly, tenderly kissing the smaller woman on her lips.

As they left their smartly furnished but featureless apartment behind, they took their luggage down to reception desk. The cases were bulging at the seams with all their acquisitions. The woman behind the desk was very friendly to the two high spirited women who had been so polite and friendly and their stylish accents really knocked them out. She was used to seeing residents come and go and could sense their disconsolate manner underneath their bright surface manner and was especially sympathetic. She looked on as they stepped out from the subdued lighting into the brilliant sunshine outside. The two women looked at the very same view of city streets they'd first seen. Were the colours suddenly more vivid than they'd experienced the last few days or was it just their imaginations?

Helen slid automatically into the driver's seat on the left hand side and their convertible slid easily down the road. One time more, the wind ruffled their hair while the sunlight bathed their skin and their eyes- all the way to the hire car company. Their hearts sank while their faces smiled as they turned over the car without so much as a mark on it to the guy in charge who signed for its return. They got a lift back to the hotel so that was another part of their holiday disassembled. All that was left was the hour of head time before their taxi was due to take them back to the airport.

They were swept back into the airport lounge and through passport control just as their arrival at the hotel was a cine film that was run in reverse. It depressed them.

"Hey, remember all the guys at Chix. We'll be seeing them again soon," Helen said in an unconvincing display of forced brightness. Nikki smiled wanly in reply. Finally, strapped in by their seat belts, the engines of the jumbo jet gave out a shattering roar and the wheels that bumped along the runway lost contact with the ground and they soared up into the air. This severed their last ties with California- except the memories and friendships.


	49. Chapter 49

Far across the continent, the North Atlantic seaboard gave way to the immensity of turbulent deep waters without limit till a foreign shore came into view, an entirely different world than the endless waves breaking on sandy beaches under balmy skies. The smaller rain soaked island huddled close to an angular larger island whose south eastern corner exposed a wide crack running close to the corner. Moving inland, the immensely peopled city of London straddled the point where the crack narrowed. In such a land, the seasons under the sun wavered erratically so that the archetypal weather forecast 'sunny periods with scattered showers' could be never too far wrong. In the two months when events moved on, the summer warmth which had caused green leaves to flourish on the trees saw changes. Even though there were periods of mild weather and sunny skies, the leaves turned golden brown and fell off the trees in profusion and miserable cold and wind blew in from the east. No one relaxed outside in open air cafes sipping coffee but scuttled round to get home from out of the cold. In one particular part of London, there was a large flat whose ancient front door was accessed by a short flight of steps and sash windows overlooked the street. One day, Nikki and Helen looked out in the still and the quiet, watching the rain beating against the glass and little rivulets trickling down the window panes.

In the same two months, back across the other side of the world, four women had slogged their way through the last of a series of gigs which had expanded beyond the lesbian network that had nurtured them. This gig was as support band at the University of California where they had played in a hot, sweaty hall full of college kids of all description. They'd taken the measure of the audience straightaway and what bothered them was the bunch of drunken jocks close to the centre of the stage. They made Simone immediately conscious that she she might have made a mistake in wearing her favourite white dress as she realised the perspective from the floor up to where she was playing on stage was way too revealing. It didn't matter when the audience consisted of women but she figured out that they saw women as eye-candy. To make it worse, they were wierdly turned on by lesbians and crude images of girl on girl action from some cheap porno film. It made them feel uncomfortable at a point when they were tired out from the emotional build up to each concert, the heart stopping moment of running out on stage and giving their all to win over a new audience and moving on to their next gig.

Simone and Annabelle had sweetly sung the love song that Annabelle had played for her a lifetime ago when she was in the audience in an attempt to instill a measure of sensitivity into the proceedings as opposed to the series of rock and roll numbers they'd felt compelled to play. It was a moot point as to whether they were revving up the audience's collective emotions with high energy music or whether they were unwilling accomplices to an audience determined to get their rocks off to some collective cheap thrills.

"Hey, why don't you two chicks make out on stage and show how you do it? You know you want to," yelled a particularly drunk youth with shaggy blond hair and wearing a sweaty red UCLA T-shirt.

"You don't talk to us that way. If you don't respect us as artists then out you go," Simone shouted angrily, pointing sideways with her arm. As Annabelle carried on tinkling away with her guitar and carrying on with the next verse and glaring down at the guy, she couldn't help smiling to herself how the dormant teacher within her lover's psyche had resurfaced yet again.

Once they'd played their encore song, they waved to the audience and made their way to the backstage changing room. They wanted to change out of their sweaty stage clothes and drive back home. Simone gulped inwardly as she strode through the rambling corridor to suddenly see the youth she'd badmouthed right up close and sensed trouble. Erin saw what was happening and pushed into the front.

"Don't mess with us, dude. I've a black belt in karate and I could tear you apart. Just back off and everything will be all right."

The youth took in the small woman wearing a sleeveless T-shirt. She looked tough and muscular and glared daggers at him. He mouthed off some smart-ass remark to cover his quick retreat and his wounded ego.

"Thank you," Simone said gratefully at their tough and tender friend who strutted along with renewed confidence.

"It's nothing. We all stick together, hey. Annabelle knows I'm best at the rough stuff. I'd do the same for any of you guys."

"Hey, you're right Erin," Annabelle admitted frankly."We need your kickass attitude around us."

Erin playfully punched the long haired woman on the shoulder in a friendly fashion. The friendship that underlay the two sets of relationships was wonderfully free-flowing and spontaneous. Since they'd spent life on the road, it meant that each of them had time to hang out with any of the others with the greatest of ease. They'd been used to their two helpful and uncomplaining workmates, Bette and Lisa who disassembled their gear after each gig, stashed it into the communal van in which they travelled and slept amongst the cramped spaces left by amplifiers and drum kit and reassembling it, the lights and their mixing board while the four musicians did their thing. The whole experience was one of a heady whirl of taking turns being half asleep at the wheel, pulling into service stations for hastily grabbed meals and then the sudden psychic surge of energy once they got on stage. They were tired out and ready for a break from the line of gigs that Miranda's sister had arranged for them.

They'd crashed out at the motel that put them up for the night and, in the morning, they were on the long road back home. The sunshine glared down at them as Lisa took the wheel of the van and powered the van along many a long mile back to hometown California.

"You don't think that Shirley will dump us while we're holidaying? Let's face it, she and her sister Miranda are two of a kind, always out for the fast buck," Annabelle asked anxiously. While they were working, the money was rolling in even as much as the credit agreements for more equipment had to be paid for. Fortunately, none of them had rock star delusions in wanting expensive costumes and expensive drugs. Their collective instinct was to pile up some money behind them into the group account that Simone set up with Sadie.

"Hey relax. Shirley knows well enough that working us like galley slaves will run us into the ground. Bad long term strategy. She gets her commission while we get paid so everything's cool,"Erin replied in her carelessly comforting fashion, passing around a bottle of cheap wine to pass the journey.

The van was jam packed with their amplifiers, mixing desk, lighting, drum kits , guitar cases and yards and yards of cabling. It was a functional unit looking like any other van from the outside. Inside, six women were crammed into the restricted space left over which contained their world. The constant humming from the engine ate up the miles they spent travelling from an out of state gig. This was what they'd dedicated their lives to and nothing existed outside it. They refuelled at a petrol station and, despite the advancing hours, decided to top up their caffeine levels at the service station. Six good looking women, looking travel worn and rumpled, didn't look outrageously like a rock group on tour and blended into the scenery. They were grateful for being left alone as they weren't in the mood for any hassle from some random guy hitting on them. Finally, Simone and Annabelle found themselves dropped off first and flopped down into the serenities of their beach-side house. They dived into the shower together to soak off all their hard travelling out of their bones and the feeling of grime from out of their skins.

They lay together, swathed in towels, curled up on their settee letting their minds decompress. The long silence was therapeutic. It wasn't till later when Simone's naked right arm stretched out and slid the Tori Amos CD onto the DVD player and the same soothing sounds that had first inspired them wended their way round their emotional systems. Though they'd covered a couple of her songs in the gigs they'd played, it did them good to go back to the originals. They existed in another place, another dimension to their versions and they expanded their minds to reach beyond their immediate present.

Back on the other side of the world, Helen and Nikki watched the world go by outside their windows. They had the vague feeling of waiting for something to happen.

Simone's mind slid down a memory hole and the image arose in her mind when she and Annabelle had been awestruck when Nikki and Helen had held forth about their experiences of prison from both sides of the barricades. It had moved both women deeply and it had been only a short week until they had played their first ever gig anywhere. They had been nervous and their performance had been raw, unpolished as they'd been feeling their way. All of a sudden, Simone had an overwhelming need for these two very special, very wise and caring friends of theirs- and time for a holiday to do what they had promised.

"I know Annabelle. We can fly out to London and hang out with Nikki and Helen like we promised," Simone exclaimed.

An image assaulted Annabelle's overheated imagination of all the miles they'd travelled and it hit home with all the force of a sledgehammer cracking open her skull. She really thought she'd spend ages lying in bed with her lover. As she opened her eyes, she realised that they'd be tourists, not performers and so the idea became more possible.

"Here's the phone, darling. You make the call."

Halfway across the world, Nikki grabbed the phone the moment it rang. A familiar softly spoken, cultured American female voice sounded over the airwaves. It felt so good.

"Hey, hello Simone. It's so great to hear from you." On the other end of the call, Simone was gratified by the Englishwoman's warm heartfelt greeting but there was something she wanted to get straight first. She couldn't believe it was two months since they'd last talked even if Nikki very nicely made it feel that the time gap was five minutes.

"We're really sorry we haven't phoned up before. We've been kind of busy and this is our first day off the road," Simone started to say at express speed when Nikki gently interjected.

"Hey, take it easy Simone. Even if you hadn't told us, Helen and I knew you'd want to get out there on the road and play your music."

"Was it that obvious?" Simone said open-mouthed before carrying on with her errand." We really wanted to hear from you even if we left it a little late."

"Better late than never. We've not gone anywhere and the offer to put you up still stands," Nikki said in her pragmatic fashion. She paused to enable Simone to work through her residual sense of guilt before accentuating the positive."We've got the tourist attractions I'm sure you've heard about but we've got museums and the Royal Academy had this great Waterhouse exhibition right now. There are paintings of all these per-Raphaelite women that'll blow your head wide open. It's a real treat for the senses."

"Mmm, art galleries," Simone murmured dreamily, knowing full well that Nikki's good taste and honest enthusiasm could be thoroughly relied upon. Annabelle smiled fondly at her partner's cultural leanings. Come to think of it, she'd grown to love the feeling of art in all its various forms being laid on her. All at once, the wear and tear of life on the road was being left behind.

"We'll make it, Simone," Annabelle said clearly into her lover's ear so Nikki could pick up on it as well. Simone grinned as the droll irony of life as a rock and roller meant that packing a suitcase and travelling anywhere had its advantages.

So it was that two excited women took themselves to passport control. They were chattering away like schoolgirls about to go on holiday. Nikki's snatched end of the conversation even cleared up one lurking question, that Helen had an old guitar stashed away in the flat that she'd not played for years.

"I phoned up Erin. She and Diane said that our holiday is cool with them as they're homebirds. She asked us to come back with a couple of songs and a postcard of Big Ben whatever that is," Annabelle observed of their easy-going friend.

"She's got our phone number in case anything happens she needs our input on," Simone answered serenely.

Pretty soon, the two women were transported high up into the sky and they sat back to room-service drinks, airline meals and the constant drone of jet engines taking them through the sky at a paralyzingly slow pace judging by the ground twenty thousand feet below them. Recent memories of being transported from gig to gig meant that the two tired women nodded off to sleep where they sat. Strange surreal dreams swirled their way through their consciousness. Simone was unbearably conscious of climbing the vertical wall of this hundred feet high amplifier, an amplifier lead clipped to her shoulder. Despite the wearisome burden and the frightening depths below her, she unclipped the lead to plug it in to its hole amidst waves of applause. She was feeling both scared and energised at the same time. Suddenly, when something prodded her on her other shoulder. She turned around, fearing to fall into the depths when she looked up into Annabelle's smiling face and the overhead lights.

"I had to wake you up Simone. We're ten thousand feet over England and we'll be descending to Heathrow in half an hour's time."

"Where, where," Simone dazedly answered, leaning over Annabelle's shoulder to the window. To her disappointment, all she could see was the unbearably blue sky, traces of high level patches of cloud overhead and an intensely white carpet of cloud. This was a real letdown- it could be anywhere in the skies.

"I thought you said we could see England," Simone said accusingly.

"No no," grinned Annabelle."It's down there. It'll be ready for us when we get down- and Nikki and Helen with them waiting for us," Annabelle said softly, kissing her lover's cheek affectionately. This news was good enough for them.


	50. Chapter 50

"Hey, hey. You guys. We're here," Nikki yelled out, her voice cutting through the amorphous mumblings and bad tannoy sounds in the airport lounge. She'd first caught sight of a fair-haired woman dressed in black trousers and white shirt. A second later, Annabelle came into view wearing her unmistakeable dark glasses perched on top of her head, long dark hair flowing over her white T-shirt and jeans. They were pushing their luggage trolley with perfect coordination of effort but they looked a shade disorientated in the direction they followed. Otherwise, they looked like two attractive women whose obvious closeness was apparent in their body language. It struck Nikki and Helen how sun tanned their friends were and how their own tans had faded.

"Wow, Nikki. It's so great to see you guys again," Annabelle called back, their trolley turning in their direction. Nikki and Helen clattered across the tiles and the four women hugged each other noisily without thought for the average holiday maker, bent on the custom made Ibiza holiday of getting legless in clubs, no sleep and random sex.

"You steer us to the exit, you guys. We feel pretty spaced out from flying over from California on top of two months of gigging**," S**imone said in weary tones. Helen took one look at their friends and could see how tired they looked underneath the superficial sparkle.

"We'll look after you," Nikki offered tenderly."We felt disorientated when we flew in to California."

Both women smiled gratefully, being happy to place their fortunes into their friends' tender and reliable hands. The weird acoustics of the the airport lounge were the final straw.

As they pushed through the swing doors into the outside world, a fierce blast of wintry gale blew through Simone and Annabelle's thin clothing and cut through their mental fog like a knife. It was only now they realised how their friends were muffled up in winter coats with sweaters underneath. They looked overhead and dark, angry clouds swirled overhead, being propelled rapidly through the sky.

"We'd better make a run for the car or we'll be drenched. I can feel it in the air," called out Helen sharply. Nikki grabbed the luggage trolley and pushed ahead as blasts of cold air stung her cheeks, Simone and Annabelle muzzily going along with the general idea. Looking around them,the airport had the same featureless surroundings as the airport they'd left behind only the weather was different. Finally, they arrived at a compact red Peugeot. Annabelle cast a quizzical glance at her partner but said nothing.

"Don't worry, we'll get everything and everyone inside," grinned Helen who had read their minds. To their surprise, they slid neatly into the back seat, while Nikki stowed their luggage into the pint sized boot and Helen got into what they vaguely supposed was the passenger seat. To Annabelle's open-mouthed surprise, it came equipped with a steering wheel.

"We had just the same sense of shock when we first got our hire car in California. Everything's the wrong way round," Helen said with her attractive grin.

It was only when they escaped out of the airport area that the two American women started to take notice of their surroundings. At that moment, a sudden blast of rain hit the windscreen so Helen clicked on the windscreen wipers at full strength, necessitating her to peer forward through the slightly smeary arcs of clear windscreen. This wasn't something either Simone and Annabelle were greatly used to back in California.

"Hey, the traffic's going the wrong way round," Annabelle said from out of the blue with that charmingly wide eyed manner of hers. It drew an immediate reaction from her friends.

"Oh you're so cute Annabelle,"Simone said, leaning against her lover and hugging her as the younger woman couldn't help but grin foolishly. It was a measure of how comfortable she felt with the three other women rather than get defensive and embarrassed. In instantly reconnecting with each other, all four women naturally went with the flow with each other.

"That's what we thought when we got to California," Nikki said in her infinitely tolerant and affectionate manner of hers."We goofed, at least mentally speaking."

To Nikki and Helen, the streets were typical nineteen thirties style mock Tudor or mock Gothic or some sort of crossbreed, with neat hedges or creosoted wooden fences in front and a small tree or so, bare of its leaves while ordinary cars whizzed past in the opposite direction. To the wide-eyed American women, gone were the familiar wide boulevards, the white clapboard houses, the palm trees and open lawns. The cars were smaller, more compact and there wasn't a convertible in sight. That was definitely weird. It sunk in on them that experiences as unknown treasures would be laid in front of them and this was an exciting prospect. As they drove through the busy traffic, Helen could also see in her mirrors that their two friends were starting to shiver with the unaccustomed cold so she turned up the car heating.

"Hey, what's that?" Simone called out as Helen cut past a large rectangular red vehicle with two rows of windows.

"Oh, it's a London double-decker bus," explained Nikki helpfully."It's as famous as your Greyhound coach only it's differently shaped. They travel all around London and pack in a lot of people on short hops."

Both Simone and Annabelle were very unusually stuck for words as they stared in wonder at this intriguing sight. It epitomised a quirky individuality in England they was really neat and practical at the same time. They got the logic.

Finally, they pulled up outside a large Victorian gabled house with a flight of steps in front and a solid red front door. Simone and Annabelle were awestruck by the sense of age and solidity that the building conjured up. This was real class to them and Annabelle dismissed her father's mansion as a moneyed tawdry fake version which was only designed to impress. This was the real thing.

"You mean to say you own this house?" Simone asked incredulously.

"We're only renting it. We aren't that rich and it suits our needs," laughed Nikki in her self-deprecating fashion that both women remembered most clearly about her.

A sudden blast of rain hit them as they manhandled the cases to the porch. Helen turned the key in the lock, pushed back the door and a large white painted hallway opened up with a vase of flowers in the middle. Simone and Annabelle liked this minimalist contrast and the house felt deliciously warm. They knew this was their two friend's thoughtful handiwork.

"So what do you want to do, unpack first or tea?" questioned Helen politely.

"We'd love a cup of tea and unpack later," Annabelle pronounced with relish followed by a smiling nod from Simone.

"That's great. Even I like a nice cup of tea on occasions," Nikki said with impudent humour.

They walked along the passageway, past two bedroom doors which opened out into the dining room area. Broad smiles spread across Simone and Annabelle's faces as they took in the lovely comfy red sofa and armchairs, the pictures on the walls, the warm colour schemes and the interesting stack of CD's and books, something they suspected they'd find. This room was so so rich in cultural enjoyment that they fell in love with it at once.

"I have to confess a guilty secret," Simone said softly with a coy smile on her face."If I go to a friend's house who I really respect, I end up checking out the music and books. It says so much about the person."

"You do that?" laughed Helen as Nikki headed to the kitchen to make the tea."Don't you remember the way Nikki went through your book collection with a fine tooth comb when we came over to your place?"

"Oh, I'd forgotten,"Simone said vaguely as she flopped down on the sofa."I guess I'd better blame it on the jet lag."

In truth, Simone was finding the combination of two months gigging and the flight over starting to catch up on her. The conversation instigated shards of memories of days when she was feeling the way to her future. She was also coming down from assuming her rock and roll persona who could stand on stage with her guitar and perform songs that didn't just demand instrumental and vocal skills but felt like working out in the gym and being larger than life. Hanging out with close friends proved to be the answer to her life's needs that she hadn't defined, only that she and Annabelle should honour their promise. Annabelle sat next to her and held her hand affectionately. The conversation drifted off into silence that felt right to them all. Helen's companionable presence felt ideal at that moment to the two tired out travellers.

Presently, Nikki came through from the kitchen carrying a large tea tray, complete with teapot, four brightly coloured yellow mugs, milk jug and sugar basin. She placed it on the solid square oak table in front of them and poured out the precious liquid.

"I'll be mother. I quite enjoy it...Oh yeah, traditional British expression expressing a traditional role," Nikki added with a grin on her face, relishing the paradox.

The two travellers were more than grateful for the comforting brew and Annabelle reflected on the fact that it did better for her than the traditional caffeine jolt. It took them to a serene place as they sank back in the settee. This was right where they wanted to be.

"I suppose you're not exactly set on going out on the town tonight?" Helen said politely, hazarding a guess quite rightly.

"You're right. What about some British TV? We've heard so much about it and I've always watched out for your dramas. "Brideshead Revisited" comes to mind for a start."

Nikki pulled a face. She knew very well how the airwaves were being overrun by reality TV programmes, lifestyle and property programmes while the sort of classic high production dramas that she loved were being sidelined. She knew that Anglophile Americans had precisely the same tastes and she felt as if she was an unnofficial spokesperson for the BBC and an imposter. It didn't feel good. She and Helen felt worse as a random choice brought up the programme they loathed, the reality TV programme that was sweeping the airwaves and provided tabloid press headlines. All at once, the braying sounds of the presenter, the cheap set and, most of all, the phony way their participation to vote someone or other out of the house.

"What the fuck are those jerks doing? Are they real?" exclaimed Annabelle loudly, looking seriously disturbed.

"You said it Annabelle," Nikki said laconically even though she was holding onto her own insides."Change the channel, Helen."

The smaller woman grinned apologetically and clicked randomly on the remote control and hit the off switch.

"It's like the Roman Colosseum only they don't feed people to the lions," commented Simone of the happily deceased episode of Big Brother. To their intense relief, the BBC news came into view, presenting a formal serious view of the world. Coming after Fox News which all four women had sampled, this represented enlightenment. The announcer was talking in measured tones about a murder inquiry which had now turned out to be suicide. It was interrupted when Helen made a dramatic intervention.

"Hanged. The word is hanged," yelled Helen in exasperation at the TV screen."Don't those BBC newsreaders ever get anything right."

Helen's outburst broke like a clap of thunder on the cosy get together. Nikki tried to pass off her lover's quirk while Simone had the peculiar feeling of hearing her former self leap out at her and hold forth. It felt like going through a revolving door and meeting herself coming the other way.

"Wow," Annabelle said at last."You'd have been one scary teacher if you'd thought of doing it for a career."

All three women broke into helpless fits of laughter at the priceless way Annabelle put it.

"Am I being totally unreasonable in wanting things to be exactly right? I have my standards you know," Helen retorted, her hands on hip gesture being stolen away by the suspicion of a smile stealing across on her face."Nikki, I appeal to you as proud possessor of a Batchelor of Arts degree in English to back me up."

"Darling, nobody could say you are wrong but possibly you're going a bit over the top, Next thing you'll say is that the country is going to the dogs,"Nikki said with a wry grin.

"To the dogs?" Simone replied with raised eyebrows as Annabelle could see her lover's literal mind work exactly on the same lines as she'd seen Helen at work.."I don't get it."

"Another traditional Brit expression much spoken of in conservative gentry towns where I grew up the origin of which I haven't a clue. Basically, it means that the country has lost its standards, become undisciplined and lacking any moral backbone. I think I'm right, aren't I Helen," Nikki replied in bright and breezy tones which tailed off in indecision.

"Of course you are sweetheart,"Helen's strong voice answered. Annabelle and Simone were fascinated in seeing and feeling the subtle interplay between these two very down to earth women.

"My father's a Naval captain and I've spent all my adult life in opposition to him rejecting me when I was expelled from boarding school. The trouble is that his favourite expressions come seeping right out of my unconscious when I don't want it," Nikki explained as a back-handed compliment.

"You're lucky your parents have made such a mark on you, Nikki. You're really lucky," Annabelle said in tender tones. This was one of those soft and tender moments where emotionally speaking, this felt like a group hug moment. They were at home with each other

"Perhaps we'll listen to some Tori Amos music instead," suggested Nikki softly. All four women brightened up at the idea.


	51. Chapter 51

A couple of hours later, Nikki and Helen went off to the kitchen while Simone and Annabelle retrieved their cases from the hallway and headed for their bedroom to face a wonderful surprise. It was tastefully painted in red with delicate white features and a large wooden wardrobe facing the bed. Various pictures adorned the wall that were right up their street, conveying a sense of peace. Instantly, they felt at home so it was only natural to pack their clothes and various belongings carefully away and show respect for their surroundings. Having had to rough it in some pretty dire hovels on tour, this was civilised and homelike by any standards. It was only when they'd finished that they noticed a newly polished acoustic guitar leaning in the corner.

"That's really kind of them," Annabelle said softly, overwhelmed by this little act of thoughtfulness. She sat on their bed and rested the body of the guitar on her knee, getting the feel of the instrument. It felt a little strange at first but she fiddled around it and swiftly tuned it to her specifications. She suddenly started playing around on a repeated sequence of chords that came out of nowhere.

"Where did you get that from?" Simone asked, turning her head to face her musical partner."Sounds good."

"It does," Annabelle said slowly and reflectively as she . It surprised her that she could dream up a melody like that, not knowing what had caused it. "I won't push it any further till we get a good night's sleep."

"Dinner's ready," Helen's carrying voice called brightly through the air. It reminded both women that they might want to eat something, as all the travelling had killed their appetites up till now. As they came back into the living room, four plates were set out with chili and rice with salad on a side plate in the middle and a jug of ice-cold water between them. The smell of it was marvellous

"How did you guys guess this is my favourite food?" Annabelle said with a big wide grin on her face.

"It's Nikki's as well. Come on, eat up," Helen replied cheerfully, waving them to their seats. This gesture had the exact same feel as Simone cooking for them back home.

The four of them sat down and the vague listless feeling that had lurked at the edges of Simone and Annabelle's consciousness was instantly dispelled by the taste of good cooking. This accentuated the lovely homelike feeling that they felt immersed in. They consciously avoided gobbling the food down as they might have done when on the run between one gig and the next. They took their time as a compliment to their friend's skills. When they were done and the washing machine was loaded up, the four women relaxed on the sofa and armchairs, Nikki pouring a glass of wine for all of them.

"This is the life. We're supposed to be artists who compose these great songs that express how we feel about the world around us and mean something to people and, sure, that's what we want to do but there are times when we need to chill out and get inspiration for ourselves," Simone said in her animated fashion, feeling great satisfaction as the ice-cold wine seeped through her system.."That's our way of thanking you for putting us up in our stay in England."

"Have you got any particular plans figured out of what you want to do with your time in England?" Helen asked. Simone shook her head as vague picture book images of England swam around in her mind but without the slightest idea of how to achieve them. Annabelle had resolved from the first to trust to fortune to come up with the goods.

"Father Harris once told me that 'Maybe the best thing to do is not try and figure it all out," Simone said in her slow and dreamy way.

"Wasn't he the only guy to know when you and Amanda ran off with wine from the rectory and didn't he know that you were falling for Annabelle even before you did?" questioned Helen That story struck a special chord with her as she wished she'd done something like that to her father who was a dour Presbyterian minister and to this day, couldn't get his head around her relationship with Nikki.

"The one and the same. We met up with him at Annabelle's graduation and he was really kind to both of us. He accepted us for who we are,"Simone replied, her hear warming at the immense kindness the man had shown them.

"That priest is one of the good guys and he knows what he's talking about,"Nikki replied softly. She sensed that he'd had to make a public stand and this impressed her greatly. His ideas chimed with her own outlook in life."There's a case for spontaneity- whenever Helen lets us."

"Oh come on, Nikki. When we go shopping, I don't cramp your style." Helen protested. The other two women grinned widely at seeing the two women start to verbally cross swords and watched the display of verbal gymnastics. It made for entertaining watching but at the same time, they could see how their very strong relationship resulted from a sparking of opposites in their personalities. It made for interesting pointers in how to conduct their own relationship.

"The four of us are really lucky in having a good woman by our sides. It hasn't always been that way with me,"Helen said abruptly. "I still can't understand how years ago, I actually asked that nonentity, Sean Parr to live with me, actually lived with him for a number of years and worse still, ended up being engaged to be married. At least I had the sense to finally back out."

"Me too," shuddered Simone."I used to go out with a guy called Michael, a teacher at a neighbouring school before I met Annabelle and she showed me the light. It really makes a difference, I can tell you."

"Hmm," Nikki said meditatively as her long fingers suspended her wine glass in her hand."I can see there are advantages in men having never been my flavour but it's not the easiest thing to find a woman straight off that you want to dedicate the rest of you life to. When you're a teenager, you can get easily distracted. It didn't make for stability when I got caught out with the first woman I ever slept with and got expelled from boarding school as I think I mentioned. It was young love and I'd never forgotten the discovery of feelings inside me, of freshness, of seeing the world with new eyes."

The last words jolted through Annabelle. It brought back an unbearably vivid memory of lying on her back against the crook of a solid tree looking upwards into the brilliant blue sky at the poems that illuminated her soul. She could hear them so clearly being spoken in those soft gentle tones from somewhere within the breeze as it ruffled her hair. Everything she told her made absolute sense. It brought back to life, to think and feel after Marilyn had been cruelly torn away from her leaving nothing but the Buddhist prayer beads that she'd insisted on wearing.

"I lost my first love, Marilyn when her parents took her off to Europe. One day I talked to her on the telephone as usual, the next day, number disconnected. My mother told me it was all for the best. I cried for weeks afterwards but of course she didn't know how I fell apart inside. I developed a very hard shell to protect myself with," Annabelle said in passionate tones."When I was a bit older and finally found the love of my life, I could let myself feel my feelings again. When Simone was arrested after the end of year dance, I promised to myself that I'd be stronger this time and nothing would ever keep us apart. I finally set out one day in Simone's car that I stole out of the car park at St Theresa's."

After they'd landed back on earth after that casual aside,both Helen and Nikki viewed the younger woman with the utmost tenderness and affection. They'd been there before. Their warm, glowing eyes validated everything she felt. These wise women knew everything. Tears pricked Simone's eyes as she heard herself described.

As the evening wore on, the growing darkness was shut out by the curtains and the four women gradually worked their way through the bottles of white wine. They were getting pleasantly drunk together. The soft lights cast pleasant shadows in the corners of the room while light rain pattered against the window pane. It was a pleasant sound while they were indoors and under shelter .

"Hey, what time is it likely to be in California?" Annabelle asked out of the blue. Simone gazed blankly without speaking. The alcohol had dulled her responses in figuring out what her lover was getting at.

"I mean, if we phone Diane and Erin, it won't be some insane hour," she clarified.

"I think it will be daytime, eleven in the morning to be precise. You go and phone her," Helen said in confident tones. Simone thought to herself muzzily, I'll be damned that this attractive woman worked this out.

Annabelle got out her mobile and clicked on the buttons to contact Erin. It seemed amazing that all their travelling in a jet miles over land and water could be reversed by a few clicks on her cellphone. She heard the phone ring at the other end of the line which wasn't answered immediately. She judged it was lying besides their bed where she she'd carelessly left it when she'd taken her lover to bed. She had a pretty fair idea of her physical appetites for her lover which she could certainly relate to. Finally, the call was picked up and the voice coming down the line was clearly catching her breath. Annabelle grinned mischievously to herself as she spoke in her carefree tones.

"Hey, Erin. Thought we'd phone you and Diane to see how you're doing and give you happy thoughts from London England." Loud laughter greeted her.

"You sure know how to time it, Annabelle. A minute earlier and I would have been too tongue-tied to speak," Erin replied, her naked arm having reached a her lover's waist across the bed and fumbling for the phone on the floor. She mildly cursed herself as she'd left herself wide open to her friend's sharp wit. It didn't matter as this morning was beautiful with morning sunrays slanting in across the dishevelled state of their room, bathing it in lyric splendour.

"Going down on each other I guess,"Annabelle said bluntly, knowing that her friend down the other end of the phone was very tolerant of her ways. Her three friends in the same room grinned from out of the subdued lighting in the living room.

"How did you guess?" Annabelle could sense the self-satisfied tones of her good friend.

Erin laughed wickedly as her cheek lay against Diane's thigh.

"Oh wow, Erin. You're on the phone at a moment like this. Like how much do you want to pack into your life," sighed Diane as she lay back in a state of post coital bliss. The soft voice above Erin's head sounded so good when combined with her view of her lover which presented such an enchanting perspective on life. In Erin's ear, her good friend rattled out their experiences of the flight over and the pleasure of hanging out with their friends.

"It's Annabelle and Simone, honey. It's evening over in England so they're getting drunk with Helen and Nikki,"Erin explained helpfully. That sounded a good enough explanation to Diane.

"Who's leading who astray?" chuckled Diane softly as she started to take an interest beyond her exquisite feelings of well being that Erin's ministrations had induced in her.

"Why don't you talk to them?"Erin replied suddenly."I'll pass you the phone."

The tall, long haired woman blinked the dazzling sunlight out of her eyes and felt the solid object placed in her hand. A familiar voice sounded in her ear, just as if she were walking up their street past the pizza-store on their street corner.

"You sure sound like you're having a great time. Bring us back a souvenir of London, however corny," Diane said in response to Annabelle's rapid fire conversation.

"We'll do it. We haven't figured out where we're going yet."

"Oh yes we will- or at least Nikki and Helen will do it for us. They're so organised, it's scary," broke in Simone, her growing impatience to be part of the conversation taking charge while Helen and Nikki burst into laughter."We've been advised to check out this art gallery of per-Raphaelite paintings."

This went way past Diane's understanding so she groped blindly for some standard purpose words to deploy. Helen and Nikki's laughter sounded nice and friendly in the background.

"I'm sure you'll have a fun time of it," Diane replied softly.

Nikki and Helen had been listening to the conversation and had been conscious for some time that Diane and Erin had hung back from social contact. They finally realised that while they were experienced musicians, the two women could be shy where they were concerned. Even if she and Helen didn't put on airs and graces, it was the way they were perceived that mattered. It prompted Nikki to cut through this situation and take over the phone which Simone's quick understanding would be sure to go along with. Seeing the way the conversation was expanding, Helen had a quiet whispered confab in Nikki's ear who nodded in agreement.

"Nikki'll phone back on your number so we'll split the cost of the call between us. It'll cost a fortune otherwise,"she said to Annabelle who smiled gratefully at their friends' thoughtfulness. Others would have gabbled on regardless.

"Hey Diane, nice to talk to you at last- even though we're halfway across the world."

Nikki's droll humour making an immediate connection straightaway as she phoned on her cellphone. It took the fair-haired woman totally by surprise as she and Erin had only seen Nikki and Helen as they stood at the back of the bar watching them hold forth on prison reform and the following week, they'd been somewhere in the audience at their first ever gig. She'd never come up close to them the way their band mates had done. She finally found her voice and adjusted to the situation.

"Hey, great to talk to you at last. Sorry we didn't take the chance when you were in California. Stupid though it sounds we felt kind of intimidated."

"It doesn't matter if whatever reason we didn't get together earlier on. It happens, you know. The main thing is we can do it it now."

All at once, Diane knew that this charming Englishwoman accepted her and Erin for who they were and she dug this woman's sophisticated style. She started chattering away for a while until she suddenly thought that Erin ought to be woven into the conversation.

"Hey Erin, want to talk to Nikki? They're looking after Simone and Annabelle just fine and guess what, they've lent them a spare guitar,"Diane explained to Erin. The smaller woman's heart was immediately won over by this ultimate display of thoughtfulness. Pretty soon, she was also rattling away to Nikki who shared a common upfront style.

Finally, the wine made Helen more physically demonstrative and she got up from her armchair, placed her glass on the side and wound herself round Nikki, kissing her on her neck and making her conscious that she needed to deal with matters nearby as well as halfway across the globe. Erin too was conscious that it was her turn to receive as well as to give.

"I always thought you and Simone are the intellectual ones and Nikki and Helen were your friends," Erin finally said as a parting message to Annabelle, feeling really happy inside."I'm glad that Diane and I got pushed into talking to them. They're cool and I know you'll have a great time hanging out with them in London."

"Hey Erin, don't beat yourself down. Your only problem is that you and Diane don't know how sharp you are. We want to hear your next song when we get back- promise," came the soft and tender reply down the phone, so spiritually close to her.

"Hiya Erin. Hiya Diane. Great to catch up with you guys," called out Helen loudly into the phone a few inches away. Both women half a world away thought dazedly that the accent was the sexiest thing they ever heard or was it their consciousness of Erin's desires by the way she moved? The conversation that spanned two continents which had created new friendships was finally wound up on a happy note for them all.


	52. Chapter 52

A vague comforting soft pattering sound drifted in and out of consciousness as two women were suspended on the threshold of sleep in a magic place where all was possible. Amongst the vaguest of sensations was the feel and fragrance of soft material which induced an intense feeling of familiarity- that this is where destiny meant them to be. Both of them stretched their legs and curled themselves round each other just a little more and only when two blue eyes peeped open did consciousness dawn that surroundings had changed. Instead of pure white surroundings and glorious sunshine, red painted walls with tasteful pictures and muted daylight peeping through the strange curtains while the ceiling hung high over their heads. For one moment, a sense of complete dislocation overtook her till she realised the obvious conclusion- they'd flown over to London and they were in Nikki and Helen's house. With that reassuring thought, the fair-haired woman turned onto her back, hearing softly murmuring sounds close to her and feeling her lover cuddling up close as her eyelids drooped back into place. She, like Annabelle, was really tired and not up to facing the day yet.

"Hey honey, we';re in London," she called out happily to the world in general, her eyes opening wide."I can't believe it."

"We flew halfway across the world to be here. So Nikki and Helen's demonstration of affection gave you ideas last night," the younger woman mumbled sleepily with surprising precision.

"You weren't complaining but I know what you're thinking," laughed Simone softly."We'll have a lie in and an mug of coffee first thing before I drag you round art galleries." Annabelle pretended to give out a dismal groan in reply. In reality, she wanted to take her time enjoying these pleasures rather than diving in straightaway.

They finally wended their way into the living room and there in the middle was a spare set of front door keys and a letter started in Nikki's elegant writing awaited them.

"We're really sorry we can't be here with you today but we'll be thinking of you. You'll love the art exhibition, I promise you. Feel free to use the kitchen. We've left out a couple of umbrellas to be on the safe side cos Helen has checked out the weather forecast."

Helen's more angular script took over from then and gave a precisely written description of how to get to the arts exhibition and it prompted a memory of a conversation fragment from the previous night.

"So how do we get round London? By cab?" Simone had asked in questioning tones.

"It'll cost you a fortune. The tube's simpler,"Nikki said without thinking. Two pairs of blank expressions had told her and Helen how their British slang went over their friends' heads."I mean the underground electric railway network. It gets you pretty well round everywhere you want to see."

The two women exchanged guarded expressions as they got the translation. Helen had understood their feelings.

"OK, there are pickpockets- muggers- around but working London uses it all the time to get around. It's my favourite way of getting about. It doesn't look smart or gleaming, quite the opposite but I've had a strange affection for it ever since I got down here from Scotland."

Annabelle and Simone had exchanged glances. Finally, Annabelle shrugged her shoulders, letting Simone speak for them.

"When in Rome, I guess you do as the Romans do but lions and gladiators are scary to mess with," Annabelle had said with her endearingly dry humour which had made the others laugh.

This thought was uppermost in the two women's minds as they dressed in trainers with jeans and T-shirts and piled on a sweater each that Simone had thrown in at the last minute. The fair-haired woman went to the kitchen door and opened it wide, Annabelle following close behind. The cold air hit them straightaway.

"Hey, why are you looking out the window?"

"To see what's the weather like."

"You've never done this back home."

"That's California. This is England. That was then and this is now."

Finally, the two women stepped outside the front door. The air was cold and still and cut through the two women's clothing. Leaves lay on the ground in profusion where they'd fallen from the large tree out the front.

"Come on, we'll walk along and keep warm. Trust me," Simone directed breezily, holding Helen's map. Annabelle smiled tolerantly at all this organisation around her. Left to herself, she'd be wondering where the hell to go and she wouldn't be wearing the sweater. She hugged Simone's arm to her impulsively and affectionately as it dawned on her that they were walking the streets of London. As they walked along and looked around, they began to stare wide eyed around them. The foursquare standing yellow brick buildings positively reeked of history as TV aerials sprouted from ancient chimney pots and steep standing tiled roofs while ancient trees etched tracery lines with their branches from sturdy trunks. The grey sky overhead lent a dour colour scheme that made it seem like nothing they'd ever seen before. Tantalisingly so, the lower floors had often been converted to stores of all kinds. As their feet ate up the pavement, they gradually

acclimatised themselves to the bracing air while other people out on the streets huddled into their overcoats and jeans.

"Watch the traffic," Simone called out quietly into the younger woman's ear just as she was about to step out into the busy thoroughfare."The other way," she added. Annabelle gave a little grin to herself, gradually realising that her fellow Californian was becoming goddamn British right before her very eyes.

"I guess someone's got to stop us being run over,"the younger woman confessed with a wry grin on her face. Simone impulsively kissed her lover on her cheek in gratitude.

Very carefully, the two women mentally rewrote ingrained thought patterns from their childhood on crossing the road and tentatively reached the other side. Fifty yards away from them was the circular red and blue sign with the broad line running across the middle which advertised the underground station they were looking for, just as Helen had instructed them. They tentatively walked down the short flight of steps and, in the uncertain gloom, saw the ticket office, the row of turnstiles and, most important of all, the multicoloured drawing of the London underground network. The thought of that much tunnelling under the city streets was staggering to both women, so used to the domination of the automobile through the concrete lined freeways. Even more nervously, they bought a ticket and followed the sign for the Bakerloo Line platform. When signs pointed them to step onto the escalator, their breath was taken away when they felt themselves starting to drop down.

"Wow," Annabelle exclaimed as she peered her way down the breathtaking distance down to the bottom as it slanted down at forty five degrees. It made them feel dizzy as they clutched each other. As they floated down, theatre posters floated down past them. It energised them to travel round this city. Finally, they arrived at the bottom and came up against a line of stations going north and another line of stations heading south- it was time to decide which platform.

"North or south?" Annabelle asked dazedly

"South," Simone directed. When the two women arrived onto the platform, they were mystified and intrigued to hear a growing humming sound and a rush of air rustling their hair. They wondered exactly what was going on until, lo and behold, a red electric railway train whizzed into the station and ground to a halt in short order. The doors opened up and the others on the platform poured into the train. The two women were frozen in thought.

"Let's get the train before we get left out,"Annabelle said determinedly. They shuffled in right at the end of the crowd and slid inside just before the doors shut tight behind them. A low electric hum started to pull the train sideways along the track in a curiously comforting fashion as Simone and Annabelle found their way to a couple of spare seats .

"This is really happening," sighed Simone ecstatically as the train jogged along the journey along the darkened tunnel. An automated voice told them they'd arrived at Piccadilly Circus. This time around, the escalator wasn't so intimidating as both women now noticed the locals' nonchalant manner. At the top, they were guided along by an endless dark tunnel which was the stuff of weird dreams till faintly in the distance, the delicately arching sounds of a violin as it savoured the melody conjured up came into earshot. The two women paced faster and faster and a young, pale faced woman wearing longish dark hair and dark clothes could be seen at a corner marked out for a busker and only the odd passer by stopped to pay attention much less drop a coin into the open violin case that contained not half the money that was this artist's due

"This is so amazing,"Simone breathed as both women stepped to one side to let the busy passers by get to their necessary destinations. The two women were held magically suspended in time and space as they heard the woman play out her magic and were pleased that a couple of others joined them. It was only after a while that the contrary desire for the art exhibition began to tug at both women. The fair haired woman reached in her purse for one of those small thick golden coins with the Queen's head and fiddled nervously with it. Dropping it into the violin case was surely a precursor to moving on when the problem was solved as the busker executed one final bold flourish. She smiled and bowed slightly at her audience, flushing slightly with pleasure. It was then that the coin flicked through the air in an arch to land with a clink on the other coins.

"Thanks everyone. Unfortunately, I have to leave," she said politely. She noticed that this was the cue for the audience to move on except for the two sun-tanned strangers who looked the picture of healthy living. By contrast, she wore a black cloak with a thick sweater underneath, black jeans and ballet slippers. She picked up on the way they had responded to her and that the little audience had coalesced around them.

"Do you want a hand?" the fair haired woman asked politely in her charmingly soft-spoken American accent. The busker tipped the change into her holdall and handed her violin and bow to the woman who clicked the case shut with practiced ease.

"I'm a student at the Royal College of Music. This helps pay my bills," she explained politely."I've simply got to get to my first lecture without looking too knackered at a couple of hours busking. Knackered means tired out,"she helpfully added as the blank looks told her that she needed to translate.

"Do you want to walk our way? We're off to the Waterhouse exhibition at the Royal Academy," the smaller woman with long dark hair explained in her enthusiastic fashion.

"You'll really love it. I went there on one of my off days. Are you two musicians?"the busker asked, sensing what the answer might be.

"Not in your style. We play guitars in a sort of folk and rock band and write songs. We're on vacation from California stopping at some friends house," the dark-haired woman started to say chattily as if she'd known this woman all her life. The three of them chatted companionably as they climbed a short flight of stairs and were a little disappointed when they arrived at their destination, the row of turnstiles. They emerged at last into the clear, cold air and the juxtaposition of the statue of Eros and the garish Coco Cola illuminated advert on the side of the building disorientated them.

"I'm catching the bus to college. The stop's just down the road. You'll be walking the same way?" she said, feeling a little shy alongside these two superconfident women.

"Of course. We'd love to have your company for a little longer," came the heartwarming response from the dark-haired woman with her friendly smile. Both women fell into line a little behind the music student as it was easier than translating the highway code themselves. They chattered away amongst themselves while ancient buildings towered overhead. This boggled the eyes of these two American women who saw everything with fresh eyes. To the music student, this was part of her everyday surroundings. Finally, they came level with the bus stop.

"I guess you two are an item- I mean you're lovers. I mean I can feel a special closeness between you," the music student said, stammering slightly and feeling really gauche and that she'd really put her foot in it. Luckily they came to her rescue.

"Why thank you so much. That's so much of a compliment. We are lovers," the fair haired woman said, glowing all over and putting her arm round her equally gratified partner whose open spreading smile was a clear and open answer. Unfortunately, they could see their nameless friend's eyes flick to one side and they sensed

"You're really great," Annabelle said, feeling strongly that she hadn't done even halfway justice to the strength of her feelings for this kind-hearted woman."I guess that's your bus," she added as she sensed a red blur to the side of her vision and the sounds of a vehicle coming to a halt. To her enormous surprise, it was what Nikki had called a double-decker bus only right up close this time. Their newly discovered friend hugged them each in turn and padded lightly through the gap left by the double concertina doors that had opened up for her. She blew them a kiss just before paying her fare, being swallowed up as the doors shut tight on her and being whisked off down the street. It struck the two women that they'd never exchanged names, something they ruefully wrote off as par for the course in city life, whichever side of the pond they lived.


	53. Chapter 53

Back under golden skies in California, Colins and Jane were sitting in the very same bar that Sadie had once taken Nikki and Helen to a couple of months back. The usual lunchtime crowd came and went amidst desultory conversations and the clinking of glasses. Both women had got to the stage in life that challenges to produce their ID were beginning to tail off. Both women wore lightweight sleeveless T-shirts and short skirts which they were grateful for as the temperature was already escalating. Colins was fanning herself with a plastic snack menu. They were happy to sip a beer together as their demonstration of having won the right to consume alcohol.

Colins had bought a copy of the Los Angeles Tribune and, looking lazily through the mixture of banal chitchat written up as journalese, a picture caught her eye. It was a publicity photo of 'Creation' which was marred by the tasteless title of "EX TEACHER AND SENATOR'S DAUGHTER MAKE MUSIC TOGETHER." As Colins read further, she became angrier at the innuendo that was worked into the text. She was sure that if Miss Bradley saw it, she would have a thing or two to say to the journalist about the meaning of words and sentence construction. Jane caught the drift of her lover's thoughts by the way her fists became clenched and silently begged to be let in on the secret. She shuffled her chair so as to sit next to Colins and read the offending article. The final paragraph encapsulated the venom behind the piece.

"Readers will remember how charges were dropped against Miss Bradley after allegations were made of a sex scandal involving the wayward daughter of Senator Tillman, having hit the headlines for being expelled from two schools prior to her year at St Theresa's High School. It is ironic to see this group feature songs about the thrills and constraints of forbidden love that was supposed not to exist in the first place between the two woman. Of course they weren't singing from personal experience, were they? Neither Miss Bradley nor Miss Tillman were available for comment."

"That is so much crap. The guy's really pissed off that Miss Bradley didn't get burned at the stake so he's still trying to shit on her and Annabelle," Colins said heatedly with an unusually hard edge to her voice.

"You really care for them,"Jane said tenderly, touching her friend's hand. She was pleasantly surprised by Colins's spirited reaction, unexpected even after the last few months.

"They were both really kind to me at St Theresa's when I thought I was just nothing. I owe them so much."

Jane was equally angry at this shitty article deliberately designed to put them down and all the women who went to Chico's, them included. She figured out that it was one more factor bringing them together. She drank from her glass, feeling the heat.

On the other side of the world, the wind strengthened force and started to whip through the two women's inadequate clothing whose lifestyle was being tried in print in their absence and unknown to them. Grey clouds swirled low overhead their clothing. They looked across the road at people wearing thick winter coats and scarves and realised that they were locals who knew what they were doing. They figured that they would have to do something about this problem at some stage but their attention was grabbed by the imposing stone mansion with wide open doors which was like nothing on earth. It's magic spell invited them to cross the time threshold of the twenty-first century and into the process of history. Simone's long immersion in cultures of all ages and countries wasn't prepared for this. The reverent hush impelled the two women to speak quietly and respectfully as they floated towards the middle aged man with grey swept back hair at the ticket office.

"Two tickets if you please," Simone asked politely.

"You come from America I see,"the man said prosaically but with the pleased intonation that they'd come here off the beaten track.

"We're staying with English friends who told us of this exhibition. We've heard great things about it," Annabelle replied politely. She smiled softly at the long way she'd travelled in the last year and a half from the tearaway high school senior with dyed streaks in her hair, long boots and a defiant look that said 'kill'.

"You won't be disappointed. This is the chance in a lifetime to see such a range of Waterhouse's paintings in one location," replied the man enthusiastically. He was charmed by the two young women's attitude..

The two women paced slowly into the solemn peace of the exhibition area as the paintings were laid out at ninety degrees to each other, drawing in individual scrutiny. They were at once transfixed by the first picture with its classical backdrop in the centre of which a tall woman with long dark tresses falling over her shoulder, a long straight nose slightly turned up at the end, shapely lips wearing long colourful robes.

"My God, she's beautiful," Simone gasped faintly.

"She looks like a hippie princess," Annabelle added dreamily, words which lodged in her partner's mind as extraordinarily apt.

"I think you're right honey though I haven't got the research to back it up,"Simone slowly replied. Her partner laughed affectionately. How like Simone this was. She took up the challenge offered with instinct and intuition, speaking slowly and gently.

"I'm certain that some really intelligent, really creative women were right at the beginning of all that scene. They knew Waterhouse and figured out how good it could make them look and feel. I don't know but...it feels right."

The two women moved slowly from picture to picture, delighting that the same woman appeared in different paintings in different guises. It seemed so right that the woman represented so many facets of her personalities. Finally, they came to a painting that stopped them dead in their tracks. This time, the woman had a more confident demeanour as she brandished a goblet up on high with one hand and a sorcerer's wand with the other. Her top was an "off one shoulder" creation and her long skirt to floor level was made of see-through material. She was all-woman, all powerful in her strength of purpose and command.

"Tori Amos. That's her," gasped Simone in wonder. Annabelle reached for her lover's hand and squeezed it wordlessly. Both women were caught up in a state of emotional and intellectual rapture as they stared at every lineament of the living woman in front of them, totally disengaged from any sense of time and oblivious to the periodic person who peered at the picture and moved on. Finally, Simone drifted gently back to earth totally unaware of how long they'd been viewing the art treasures and an idea popped into her mind.

"Guidebooks. They must have guidebooks somewhere. Any serious establishment must have one," she said, her mouth feeling dry.

"I think I can see somewhere across the way," grinned Annabelle who had regained her bearings a little before her lover and was ahead of the game. Simone glanced at her watch and, to her surprise, they'd only been in the gallery for an hour or so. As little time as that, she wondered to herself.

To both women's delight, the shop held on display a range of postcards, prints and, best of all guidebooks so Annabelle reached out with trembling hand leaving trickier decisions to be made.

"We must buy a poster of Circe for Erin and Diane. They'd love it," exclaimed Annabelle.

"You think so?"

"I'm sure so. You really think that a rock and roller like Erin hasn't been quietly listening to you all these months? She'll love it and so will Diane," Annabelle said confidently, dispelling the other woman's doubts. Her brown eyes looked lovingly at the woman she'd got to admire so profoundly.

"Right,. That's one for them, one for us and one for Nikki and Helen. They like pictures."

Soon the transaction was done with Simone's card on the very day the trust fund money went into their joint account as the younger woman noted with grim satisfaction. It was as well that the ill gotten gains from her grandparents went to good use. They took themselves a little way outside the shop while Simone started leafing through the guidebook which she'd fished out of the carrier bag.

"Hey, this book tells you what these paintings are about," exclaimed the perpetual student within Simone. Annabelle pretended to roll her eyes at her in despair but she was all fired up to do their research but with one proviso.

"All right but we need to figure out where we're eating. You know what I'm like."

It was Simone's turn to pretend to groan inwardly. As she was starting to feel peckish herself, they resolved to head off for the nearest restaurant at half-past one. While the two women earnestly checked the guide against each painting Annabelle surprised herself by getting pleasure by boldly throwing herself into unknown waters of their research. It added depth and meaning to their early unabashed pleasure in admiring so much female beauty.

"These paintings were painted more than a hundred years ago? I can't believe it," the younger woman said softly, her eyes shining. The fair haired woman squeezed her hand affectionately, the two of them politely respectful, casually dressed, sun-tanned and glowing all over to the casual observer.

Finally, they reluctantly emerged back into the light of day and stood of the pavement, not really wanting to leave such a visual treasury behind. To their great surprise, only the lower half of the sky facing them was covered by a ragged stretch of grey sky as a brilliant blue winter sky had replaced the earlier gloomy vista.

"Hey, the weather's changed," Simone said unthinkingly. That very second, she knew she'd put her foot in it.

"We're in England now," chanted the dark-haired woman gleefully, clinging onto her partner's arm while madly dancing around her.

"OK honey, so I screwed. We need your expert homing instincts to find a place to eat. Go find it- I'm hungry," came the masterful reply.

Grinning at each other, the two women gambolled along the city streets like schoolkids. They chattered away as they admired each building in turn, each a little bit different from the one before as they were in the older part of the city. They were in high spirits as they felt at one with the city streets. People of all different kinds came into their vision but they never troubled them, as they went about their own business. A slight breeze had got up, making the air cold, fresh and bracing. Presently, the city streets gave way to a mixture of pubs, a McDonalds and a Starbucks on the corner but none of them was what they were after. They fancied a traditional restaurant and kept their eyes open for the image conjured up in their imaginations but nothing materialised before their eyes so they ground to a halt in a state of indecision. It was only at that point when a snatch of last night's conversation came back into Annabelle's mind when the solution popped out of nowhere.

"...You turn right and walk a while along the main drag and when you get to a Starbucks on the corner, turn left down a side street and walk fifty yards. You'll find a nice restaurant at we use when we're in the area..." Nikki had said to them fairly late into the night. They'd only paid part attention to the remark as both women were tired.

"Come on," Annabelle called out loudly," Nikki told us a place they go to. We're nearly there."

The promise of being very close to their destination acted like a tonic to the two women's flagging spirits as they were both getting footsore, having been on their feet all morning and getting into the afternoon. All at once, a very quiet discreet frontage presented itself for their inspection with a wide range of menu that fitted their palates to a T. They pushed the door open and the subdued lighting and relaxing atmosphere was immediately to their liking. The waiter showed them to a table for two with a white linen tablecloth and they sank into the chairs with a sigh of relief.

"This is really shit,"exclaimed Diane to a surprisingly domesticated Erin who busied herself knocking together a tasty salad salad. She had just recently showered and slipped a T-shirt over her long damp hair. On such a hot sunny day like this, her long locks was certain to dry out in short order. "They can't leave leave them alone."

"I'm really glad that our friends are out of the country so they don't have to face all that crap. Does this mean that those creeps have been sniffing round their place?" Erin said slowly she started to sift her way through the insulting and disgusting headlines.

Diane looked at her partner in surprise. She had thought that her strong-minder lover would have grasped the offending paper with her bare fists and rent it apart. This time, she wasn't reacting- at least not outwardly.

"That creep is sucking up to the mindless and ignorant everywhere and will please the religious right. The woman who like our music are a million miles away from them. There are those out there who haven't heard of us and might think- oh we're so bad we must be good. I think they've just drummed up some backhanded press publicity for us and shot themselves in their foot," Erin added slowly in considered tones as she slowly ate the salad. After live on the road and eating junk food, eating healthy was surprisingly attractive and suited the hot weather.

"So what so we do?" Diane pursued, slowly savouring the food and not gobbling it down being perpetually on the run.

"Nothing," Erin said shortly."We know when they're due back and we'll head out to the airport. We'll tell them before they get home so they're prepared and take it from there. Right now, we'll go out and get some food in so we can head back to bed."

Diane grinned. That suited her just fine. Since they'd come off the road, they'd hardly set foot outside their apartment and had made up with some pretty strenuous lovemaking. It was how they'd been most comfortable and this debate about the lousy newspaper article was a diversion from the serious things of life.


	54. Chapter 54

Helen was more than glad to drive her worn out working collaborator, Nikki Wade back home after a hard day full of hassle in negotiating with that bastion of bureaucratic obstructiveness , HMP Larkhall, not helped by the intransigent client. That was the other half of the problem.

The client concerned was a troubled soul called Emira Al Jahani who was a wire taut coil of self-loathing from her past lifestyle of drinking and casual sex who cleaved to a rigid version of Islam as a desperate grasp for self-definition. Nikki had no problems with people of religious inclination. She had once shared a cell once with that quietly resolute symbol of Christian rectitude, Barbara Mills who saw Nikki who she truly was. Her Crusader's temperament for doing the right thing chimed in with Nikki's and likewise, Simone's gentle faith, carried so lightly, was something she could easily warm to. Not so the rigid doctrines of this woman whose pig-headed obstinacy in creating unnecessary enemies was not equalled by verbal and physical toughness to back it up. She could also sense that her smartly suited exterior, short cropped hair and attractive looks instigated a squinting suspicion as to her sexuality and this woman's pale, plain looks pointed towards an underlying female jealously. All this made her unwilling to negotiate on any level as to the exercise of her rights as a prisoner and played straight into the gleefully joyful bigotry as displayed by Bodybag who was only too happy to mouth off about Islamic terrorists. She insisted on wearing the nikab in shrill tones when a headscarf would have been the easily achievable compromise being there for the asking by any other Moslem woman.

After a fruitless argument with Bodybag who also was dead set against the granting on a visiting order, Nikki resolved to adjourn the meeting for a return trip the following day but she knew that she needed a strategy rethink without being clear just how she would achieve it. The thought depressed her as she headed back to the office, tired and disgruntled and Helen's intense expression of sympathy only took the edge off her sombre mood of feeling that she was a failure. It was only when they passed over the threshold when two radiant sun-tanned faces greeted them, eyes glowing and the situation changed. Nikki's sombre mood was dispersed immediately when she felt the pleasures their friends had enjoyed having previously gone round the exhibition themselves. Helen fell automatically into line, emotionally speaking and their home was miraculously transformed. They blinked their eyes to see their cool Californian friends decked out in a very fetching thick winter jacket apiece, both going for a chic effort that buttoned up very practically to the neck.

"Oh yeah, we went into an Oxford Street store and bought these coats. I guess we really messed up packing when we came over. Even Simone didn't figure out what the weather would be like."

At this point, Simone looked embarrassed at such an obvious gaffe but went on to fish out a coiled up roll of thick paper out of their carrier bag and held it out to Helen.

"Annabelle and I thought we'd give you this print as a present for the marvellous hospitality I know you'll give us."

The smaller woman's eyes opened wide with pleasure as she strongly suspected what

was awaiting them. Feverishly, she removed the polythene and a dazzling smile of pure pleasure illuminated her features. Nikki looked over her lover's shoulder and she gasped as her own vivid memories of the exhibition were encaspsulated by the one picture that summed up everything. There she was, this beautiful, self-confident femininity that had ever existed in the world, wearing garments of an ancient realm yet so irresistibly modern at the same time. Both large hearts were touched by their friends' perceptiveness in their choice of print. Her brown eyes were shining like stars, her mouth open.

"Why didn't we see this print? We must have walked right past the shop," Helen exclaimed at last in a semi-accusing tone of voice.

"Well, don't look at me," joked Nikki, holding her hands up and leaning against the wall in a state of helpless laughter."It took the two of us to screw up. Just live with it."

"Come on, this is a serious matter. So how do two American visitors to these shores manage to spot something that we missed- like a bloody shop?"

"Hey, take it easy. We can go back if we can find the time. At least Annabelle and Simone here were thinking of us," Nikki said tenderly. It woke Helen up and she slid her arm around her lover's and looked in their friend's direction as they pretended to push each other's faces away from each other.

"So what did you do with the rest of the day?" Helen asked excitedly as the penny dropped.

Annabelle gazed back, her eyes wide open with myriad images that had floated past her consciousness that afternoon. A slow smile spread across her face as she started to speak."After we came out of the Royal Academy which blew our minds open, we walked the streets of London together, went down to the Embankment, past Cleopatra's needle and on to the Houses of Parliament, all glittering gold in the winter sunlight. He hung around and then took the tube up to Euston Station where we found the gay pub you told us about last night."

Simone loved the way her partner talked so enthusiastically about their experiences. In the half-light, they'd persuaded some friendly woman they got chatting to to take pictures of them both, cheek by cheek against each other with brilliant smiles. Annabelle had made that totally unselfconscious leap into becoming a citizen of the world and eagerly imbibing the feel and location of the world they'd settled into. They weren't insular Americans any more than Nikki and Helen had been Little Englanders when they'd come to California. Her wide open eyes said everything about her.

"It felt lovely in the bar. We could embrace each other and feel perfectly normal. We felt the good vibes straightaway."

"I mean, we like what we've seen of England so far," interjected Simone as a backwash of the sights and sounds floated past her vision, the random encounters anyone undergoes in exploring a strange city for the first time and simply chatting to those people in the street who weren't focussed on their lives to the exclusion of everything else."If you're anywhere straight, there's a part of you that you don't reveal. Know what I mean?"

The other three women gloomily agreed with the fair haired woman's drop to a more despondent note. All they asked of life was the chance to be themselves, not much to ask for. As the mood persisted, Helen started to feel uncomfortable and she chipped in on a note of artificial brightness.

"So what plans have you got for tomorrow?"

The response from both women was glazed-eyed as they'd walked their feet off as their afternoon had become insanely busy. Right at that moment, they would be mutely grateful for a steer as to what to do for the next day where their legs could carry them.

"If it helps, there's a club we all go to on Friday night. My ex girlfriend who's now our very good friend runs it. It's called Chix. Rather than give it the big sell, let's say that our friends will really like you and you'll feel at home," Nikki announced with pride.

Both women gasped in amazement at the extraordinary coincidence that so nearly linked the name to their favourite hangout in faraway California. This was one of those conjunctions that just had to be.

"Of course we'll go with you. We'll look forward to returning the compliment," Simone said softly. Pretty soon, the four women fell into a discussion about the place and, in place of the classic American roadside bar look, the two women visualised a neutral facade in some officious London side street where only the insignia pronounced its real identity.

The afternoon merged into a comfortable evening as Annabelle suddenly disappeared into the bedroom for a bit while Simone hung out with the others as they set to work making dinner. In the middle of it, Annabelle appeared from out of nowhere with a glow on her face. The fair-haired woman said nothing as they started to eat a delicious curry. After they'd stacked the dirty dishes in the dishwasher, the conversation meandered back to the following day as they sat around the table, sipping wine in a nicely relaxed fashion.

"We need some wide open spaces and fresh air," Annabelle said vaguely, her mind searching for someplace away from the constant sounds of the city and its supercharged pace just for a bit of variety.

"There's Regent's Park. That's where Helen and I go when we feel that way. There's wide open spaces, a boating lake, botanical gardens, the ideal place to chill out," Nikki offered helpfully.

"Great, we'll go there in the morning," Annabelle said enthusiastically while Simone held her counsel. She felt that there was a trick somewhere. The truth emerged in short order.

"But first, you need to check the weather forecast," Helen said with a cheerful smile on her face as she fetched in four mugs full of coffee from the kitchen. The two women's face were a picture as the penny dropped

"So this is England? I can't get my head round planning things by the weather," Annabelle said, shaking her head in bewilderment. She had taken it for granted that

, after they'd come out of the Royal Academy, it hadn't rained for the rest of the afternoon.

"We could wait till the six o clock news finishes but our laptop will pick up the the local weather on the net straightaway," Nikki advised with a grin as Helen fished in the cupboard for the necessary electronic aids. She laid it on the table, plugged in and switched on. She pulled up the BBC Weather site and saw the icons flash up for the next five days.

"Result," exclaimed Nikki with a happy grin as fortunately, a square shape showed up in the first line, featuring a orange orb radiating light on a blue sky background showing the following day's weather."The sky is blue, the wind speed is nearly zilch though it isn't too warm. Normally it gets non-committal like 'sunny intervals' so it is only fifty per cent wrong. If you wrap up warm, you'll be fine "

"You sound just like your mother, dearest," Helen said in a deadpan voice. Nikki stuck her tongue out in response. Helen laughed out loud followed by Nikki. She knew she'd walked into the trap.

"Let's chill out somewhere more comfortable and take our drinks with us," she suggested with masterful diplomacy.

"Why don't we play you some music as well?" suggested Simone as the idea popped into her head. She felt a soft pressure on her arm in gratitude for the brilliant idea. This wasn't a gig they were contracted to do but a fun thing after such an inspirational day. Annabelle had a good instinct about this idea from her perceptive lover and she fished out the guitar from their bedroom while Nikki and Helen settled down comfortably. In the meantime, Simone's mind started to sift her way through songs that felt right. A couple of Tori Amos songs slipped through her consciousness unbidden together with one or two of their songs but she couldn't make up her mind between them.

"You can play if you want and we'll share harmonies," Simone said as Annabelle returned, carrying a sheet of paper and looking unusually animated. She knew that something was up.

"Darling, we'll see what cooks between us. You play later whenever you want," the younger woman smiled and said with infinite tenderness before she checked the guitar was in tune. She felt extraordinarily centered as she fractionally adjusted the top string to get it just so. She exchanged glances and smiles with her lover but didn't say anything. Anything she did, Simone was saying wordlessly, would be all right as she focussed on the sheet of paper she'd been writing on, earlier that evening.

Annabelle smiled softly as she started a curious circular pattern that caused her musical partner to raise her eyebrows. The words 'just relax' were mouthed at her so Simone's instincts became highly attuned as to what this talented woman had pulled out of the hat a little while ago. While Nikki sprawled into the depths of the armchair, Helen sitting in her lap, both of them watched in fascination as they saw the birth of a song before their very eyes. This was a new experience for them both and they gave it their utmost concentration. Suddenly, the dark haired woman began to sing, threading together the words and stumbling in places as the hastily scrawled words didn't entirely scan the way she had wanted them. Finally, Annabelle came to a point when she screwed up her face and stopped at the end of a line. She knew it wasn't right.

"Hey Annabelle, maybe it should go like this," Simone said calmly as she repeated the line, shifting the melody line and words around.

"You got it, Simone," the younger woman said approvingly. She glowed inwardly when she came to the line 'there were beautiful women on the portrait wall who took our breath away.' She felt that her musical partner felt the nuances of that line while their friends simply loved to hear it. More confidently, less tentatively Annabelle led her way through the song, stopping occasionally to work through a line she knew more confidently wasn't right. They harmonised their way through the chorus, both knowing where it would crop up and finally came close to name checking Nikki and Helen in the closing lines 'our lovely English friends.'

"Sorry, you guys. I know you wanted a finished song but this has really been nagging at me to get played," Annabelle explained, shaking her head as if emerging from a waking dream.

"We didn't plan it this way. I had a few songs we could be doing only I couldn't make up my mind. As soon as Annabelle started this song , I really wanted to hear what she'd come up with,"added Simone. The other woman saw their friends so attentive as opposed to the characters she'd written in the song. This last thought disturbed her

"You don't mind being kind of included in the song. I really wanted to and it wrapped up the song so well."

"It's a delicious compliment. We know where it comes from and we won't have the paparazzi chasing us asking for our life story. Once was enough talking to all you guys in Chico's," Nikki said with her acerbic wit. All four women laughed at the droll humour.

"Can I run through the song to see how it feels?" Simone asked in her soft voice. Annabelle gladly handed over the guitar, eager to hear how he4r partner would embellish the song while Helen poured out another glass of wine with a generous hand.


	55. Chapter 55

Simone and Annabelle were out once again, on this cold but sunny day, walking rapidly alongside the neat park railings in search of the entrance to their dreams. A light wind ruffled their hair which was just as well as they needed something to disperse the headache

"Never again will I get into a drinking competition with a sexy Scot , name of Helen Stewart. I don't know where she puts it. My head really hurts," commented Annabelle with a doleful expression in her voice. She loved her California sunshine and heat but after a day or so, she was starting to get used to the weird unpredictability of one day being not like another. Right now, the sharp coldness was doing her hangover some good.

"What makes it worse is that we're the rock and rollers," Simone said in a flat, understated voice, her right arm linked through her lover's and into her coat pocket to keep warm. Her understated humour made Annabelle laugh out loud though not too much as her head might hurt. Their brisk walking past Georgian frontages the other side of the road ate up the yards they trod to the park gates whose existence they sensed from others suddenly disappearing from sight. They finally turned the corner and suddenly far distant horizons opened up in front of them and spreading out either side of them as far as they could see. Scatterings of trees, some near some far, made an immediate impact as they stretched out their twisted configurations into the sky though bare of leaves. They gave the amazing impression of having been there since time immemorial. All around them, the green grass stretched out in an endless carpet apart from the far-off lake glistening in the sunlight. All this endless space symbolised the limitless possibilities that they'd been straining for, their very existence.

"This is beautiful. It's so different from anything we've been used to. All this unspoilt land in the middle of a great big city," Annabelle whispered, her face all aglow with wonder. She slipped her arm round her lover's waist and somehow the clear air blew away the last of the cobwebs at the back of their minds. Together, they strolled off into the far distance ahead of them. They could see a distant park bench where they could sit and take the weight off their feet and the quiet waters of the lake. There was no need to hurry as time was on their side.

It was now evening time when completely different pleasures awaited them all. The sounds inside their home were full of light-hearted chatter as they showered and spent ages choosing which outfit to wear and devote time to indulgent pleasures to makeup now that they had all the time in the world right now. Helen was the first to emerge, glowing in her low cut turquoise dress, showing her generous breasts. Simone next slipped into view, wearing a beautiful sleek yellow/ orange dress, matching her sleek wavy hair and displaying her long legs to perfection. By contrast, Annabelle's short black dress showed her smouldering beauty to perfection. Finally, Nikki's dark looks contrasted unexpectedly with her white trouser suit and short Mandarin jacket, accentuating her fabulous androgyny to perfection.

"Wow," was all that Annabelle could say, open mouthed.

"We look such a fine sight to hit the town," Helen laughed gaily, her spirits flying.

"We bought these dresses in Oxford Street yesterday for a special occasion," explained Simone

"I've booked us a cab to take us to Chix. It's due in five minutes time," Nikki said, visibly glowing with pride that their friends were coming to hers and Helen's favourite hangout as well as the club she once co-owned. Simone raised her eyebrows and Nikki knew why.

A remarkable sight awaited two fresh pairs of eyes to another facet of life in London. A remarkably rounded, almost old-fashioned black shape was parked outside, looking both compact and capacious. Nikki grinned as she opened the door for the others gesturing Simone and Annabelle to sit in the wide back seats. The other two women tipped the fold down seats facing them and this remarkable vehicle set off down the road to Nikki's direction. To her and Helen, this was another trip down Chix. To Simone and Annabelle, this night imprinted images in their minds of flying through the darkness in a city that they were getting a feel for as the back seat of the taxi provided a splendid view of the cheerfully flashing lights. The cab weaved its way through streets and bypasses and, as it fetched its way to its destination at an obscure side street, Helen called out 'we're here you guys' in an exuberant tone of voice as Nikki paid the fare.

Their two guests looked with momentary bewilderment as they looked outside at the dimly lit building that could have passed for an office. On the right was modern light brick portion, then an open glass swing door and to the left a series of stylish grey pillars separated by glass panes. The only giveaway was an illuminated purple round sign 'Chix', in elegant white lettering, the last large letter being a stylised image of two women. They passed momentarily through the freezing cold, through the entrance, past admissions security, down a corridor where the seductively honey coated singing over a pulsing beat grew strength and, into the dance area, it hit the women in their guts with the sights and sounds of freedom as the heat and flashing lights helped exert its spell. On the left was a semi-circular bar illuminated by area of lights at the back of it. On the immediate right, coloured lights at the back of the assemblage of square shapes stacked up to the ceiling illuminated the scene and contrasted with the dark foyer down which they had walked. One look at the swaying women on the dance floor right in front of them told them they'd come to the right place.

From out of the background dimness, an attractive woman with shoulder length dyed blond hair approached and greeted Nikki and Helen effusively, nodding and talking in their guests' direction.

"Are you Simone and Annabelle fresh over here from California? Nikki and Helen talked so much about you after their American tour,"Trisha asked in her lightly poised, educated accent. The two guests instantly warmed to this woman's charm and generosity.

"Steady, Trisha. You're making us out to be rock stars when these two are for real,"Nikki replied in her self-deprecating manner.

"Trying, Trisha. Annabelle and I sing and play in a four-piece band but she's more lead guitar than I am."

"You do know that sounds really glamorous. So what brings you to these shores?" came Trisha's genuine interest in this soft-spoken American woman.

"We've done two months of touring and we've gotten a gap between contracts so we took up our friends' kind invitation to come over," Annabelle chipped in.

Trisha looked with interest at this younger woman whose frank self possession made her feel more mature than her nominal age normally provided for. The question popped out of her lips out of natural curiosity.

"So how old are you, Annabelle, if I might ask?"

The other woman's mind ran at lightning speed while the flashing colours and pulsing music was not at all dissonant with the warmth and friendliness. She sensed that this woman had precisely the same occupation as Miranda's in far-off California but without her tendency to play subtle games. Having run around with an older, intelligent crowd in her present existence, she had become even more self-accepting than before.

"Eighteen. I know it might sound young, Trisha," the dark-haired woman said with her level stare.

"It depends on the woman darling. I'm sure you know Nik's experience of being unjustly jailed and how she met Helen. Nik and I were lovers for nine years before then. I know that when Nikki was sixteen she knew exactly who she was. She certainly did when I first met her a number of years down the line." Trisha's kind response drew a warm smile in response.

"Wasn't there ever a problem for you when Helen first got together with Nikki?" Annabelle asked in her direct fashion that had disconcerted so many in the past. Trisha had long since thought this question through, emotionally speaking so this didn't throw her. Besides, this American woman was as straight as Nikki was in the old- fashioned sense.

"Good God no,"she exclaimed with perfect certainty."No two women are better suited in my experience. My trouble is that, with the club riding on my head, I'm too dominant in my relationships. Don't think that all the luscious women coming to the club is the answer. It doesn't work for some reason I can't work out."

The fleeting moment of desolation in this friendly approachable woman upset Annabelle. Very quickly, she slipped into an intimate conversation with the other woman while her friends joined the group. Annabelle decided that Trisha was clearly one of the good ones and for some reason, she had opened right up to her. The next second, she reverted to her chatty sociable self as Helen chimed in gaily.

"Hey what about a quick drink and a dance?"

As Trisha rustled up the drinks list and conveyed it to the bar, the conversation became animated. It was extraordinary, the two American women thought how the particular cadences of British English were slipping into Simone and Annabelle's sense of normality rather than simply translating. It felt good to them both. Still more so did they feel when a trayful of drinks was passed over to Trisha with an appreciative round of cheers. These working women had slogged their way through to the weekend and were desperate to unwind. Helen set the style as she tossed back a double vodka with a defiant grin. Others took their time more so that Helen was the first to take her lover by the hand and sashay over to the dance floor. Their two guests knew better than to try and keep up with Helen's pace though both knocked back the remainder of their drinks and followed the others. At this moment, they were both flying high as they sensed the highpoint of their holiday

The music pulsed through their bodies through their nervous systems and the sugary candy coated gloss made them all feel good inside. All the women's expressions of pleasure was not just for the partners they were dancing with but a collective expression of joy that they were all here and were all one. Simone marvelled at the way her lover threw her body about and the overjoyed expression on her face and in her eyes. This wasn't some isolated private world of their own but a public event where they were all included, no one left out. Glancing to one side, Annabelle saw Helen and Nikki shaking it up on the dance floor and stealing the odd encouraging grin in their direction. The kind -hearted women felt good inside to see their friends from the other side of the pond melt so easily into the collective ambiance of the club a world in which they had invested so much emotional loyalty over the years. Come to think of it, stray images floated past their mind of when they'd been at Chico's and seen their friends perform on the makeshift stage.

As Nikki danced the night away, she couldn't help looking in the direction of the bar where she spied a disconsolate looking Trisha pretend to herself that she was there to in charge. In reality, she gazed vacantly into the distance while the party went on all around her. It was the story of Trisha's life, the compassionate woman thought as she reflected on her generosity of spirit towards her and Helen. However, her attention was caught as a tall dark-haired woman with strong, bold features and hair loosely falling on her shoulders. In that moment, Nikki pointed to Helen whose grin of appreciation saw the situation markedly change.

Just why it was that this stranger's eyes and smile focussed in on Trisha and not someone else was something she couldn't work out for the moment as the Chix clientele were at the least averagely good looking. Trisha found herself drifting in conversation that extended itself easily beyond the standard introduction to make a new customer feel at home, pouring both of them a drink. Everything went smoothly until this woman mentioned her name.

"Lita Gossard?" Trisha found herself echoing in an incredulous fashion and stumbling for the right words."You don't mean that..."

"I divorced that no good sadistic bastard copper who wrecked a whole chunk of my life. Nikki Wade did me a great favour in offing the bastard and stopping him haunting my life,"Lita interjected in chillingly angry tones. As soon as she'd spoken, she regretted her choice of words as a look of shock and horror flared in Trisha's blue eyes. The nightmare vision of being pressed against the bar by the evil; man who was trying to rape her and the successive shocks of Nikki's deranged intervention and the shattering of their happy life together

"I'm really sorry, Trisha. That was really crass and insensitive of me. I know how close you came to suffering at his hands and how Nikki paid for her heroism. Thank God Nikki got justice in the end and he's history to all of us. I've come a long, long way since I dumped him and that's how come I'm here today chatting you up."

Those well chosen sensitive words did the trick in calming Trisha down and finally a little thrill ran through her system. She was intrigued by the thought that this woman's intentions might succeed while her ex-husband's brutishness had failed. Trisha gestured to the barmaids to hold the fort while her elbow reclined on the counter while she fixed this attractive woman with her blue eyes and engaged in more intimate conversation.

The club DJ had always been given a free hand in her choice in music and now she judged right that the women wanted to soften the music to a more romantic tempo. The sighs of satisfaction as soft arms reached out to each other as fresh conquests and established lovers renewing their vows, enfolding each other in gentle embraces. Nikki smiled tenderly as she felt her long time lover's head nestle against her shoulder in the accustomed fashion and looked around her. From out of the haze of shifting colours, her old friend and ex-lover drifted into sight, Trisha wore a blissful smile on her face as the striking looking dark-haired woman planted soft kisses on her neck. By some miracle, Nikki judged that this woman had come out of nowhere, fully formed and matured from the crucible of life and looked to be the woman who might fill the gap in Trisha's life that Nikki knew only too well that she'd opened when she and Helen had finally got together. She turned her head to see Simone kissing Annabelle passionately in a similar romantic clinch as her own with Helen. This made her profoundly happy.

"So you're Lita Gossard?" Nikki asked rhetorically, a slight smile playing on her lips as she saw her and Trisha tenderly holding hands, looking on top of the world.

"I'm seriously thinking of changing my name by deed poll," Lita confessed with a wry smile on her face." I don't know why I haven't done it before as it's such an albatross around my neck. Aside from my maiden name that sucks, I don't know what to change it to."

"Nikki and Helen came over to Chico's, a club in California much like this where we heard what what Nikki had been through when she'd got jailed for taking out your ex, Tine but I hadn't properly thought about Trisha's horrible experiences," Simone said in her soft thoughtful way when a crowd of them were seated round several round tables pulled together and they were drinking long, cool drinks. By now, the softly pulsing music melted into the pleasantly fuzzy sounds after having too much to drink. Her look of sympathy to Lita and Trisha was meant, not alcohol induced. "Everyone makes mistakes, believe me. I was involved in more than one loveless relationship with a man before I met Annabelle, the love of my life," and here a fulsome smile spread across her face," but I can't say I was physically badly treated by a man. I guess I was very lucky."

"Thanks Simone," Lita said softly, grateful for this woman who owned up to a heterosexual past. Her words hung in the minds, even when patches of soft melodic music filled up the background.

"Looks like it's my turn for the next round," Annabelle volunteered in her friendly fashion whose reality was enhanced by her charming accent to the rest of the gang.

"Oh good," Helen said mischievously,"I wondered why my glass was empty."

"I haven't had to carry you into bed darling but there's a first time for everything," joked Nikki.

"Oh yes, like the first time I slept with a woman when you broke out of prison where you were supposed to be locked up for the night and you landed yourself on the doorstep," riposted Helen in a joking way which made Annabelle and Simone fondly reminisce about their problematic courtship which played out in front of a strict all girl's Catholic school. Time and distance healed everything, they dreamily concluded. Trisha and Lita exchanged tender smiles, caressing each others' free hand, knowing that they were committed to share the night and end up at Trisha's flat.

"We'll worry about the unexpected when it comes," Nikki replied masterfully."In the meantime, Annabelle's patiently waiting for you to name your poison dear."

"Double vodka please. The orange and lemon was a temporary aberration," sparked up Helen. Their friends, old and new, grinned fondly at this cross-talk banter. Pretty soon, the drinks were brought in, the night continued and so did the partying in a world where nothing outside these walls mattered.


	56. Chapter 56

Several hours later, delightfully blurry sensations set in which warped the sequence of events as to just how many rounds of drinks had been downed, and why the night sky was moving around in a gentle, sweeping orbit so the dim London streets were tilting in a strange fashion. Nikki just about caught hold of Helen as she staggered out of the taxi but the two women were brought up short against the low wall outside their house. Somehow, the flight of steps wasn't where she'd expected. She couldn't work out how the taxi was paid for. Snapping back to action as best she could, she fumbled for the house keys while Helen propped herself upright but knew she'd never be able to let them in.

"Hey Simone, can you let us in? I'm too pissed, I mean loaded?" she said in slurred tones.

The fair-haired woman walked towards their friends with an exaggerated feeling of fragile self- control, picked up the keys that wavered before her eyes, negotiated the extraordinarily difficult operation of opening the front door so she leant against the internal wall inside. Annabelle steadied her and they both seized the momentum to find themselves hanging onto their bedroom door handle.

"You out there, you guys. Are you OK," Simone called out in the general direction of her right.

"We're inside. Where there's a will, there's a way to get to bed," Nikki exclaimed breezily with a sense that her legs were less certain than her words. How to deal with a giggling pissed Helen was another question altogether. With a supreme effort, the four women achieved their final destination.

In another bedroom, utter quiet reigned as did the silent and empty dance floor beneath them. Trisha kept the sidelights dim and the intimate glow helped as she ran her fingers down the cheek of this woman who had popped out of nowhere. Their clothes were scattered loosely on the bedroom floor. This was the moment of decision for Lita as her fears might rush out from the unknown darkness and cause her to freak out. Trisha saw the other woman's body stiffen and read her mind.

"Don't worry babes. I'll look after you. Leave everything to me if you want to," she said with infinite tenderness. Lita exhaled her fears slowly. This was what she'd fantasized about and this blond haired woman looked terrific and was tender and loving. She lay down on the bed whose quilt was folded sideways and stretched out her arms. Smiling, Trisha lay down besides her and as they started kissing, she ran her fingers through her lover's hair and along her shoulders. Trisha could feel Lita relax and start to move against her in response and she knew that this very striking woman would be all right. It crossed her mind that after her dreadful experiences with that man whom she didn't want to name, this was a terrific compliment. A tear or two trickled down her face and Lita softly kissed her eyes one after the other. It was then that Trisha's hand travelled down the dark-haired woman's body and kissed her neck and shoulders and she felt a soft hand press against her own and guide her to where Trisha was increasingly wanted and desired. The two woman started murmuring sweet sounds to each other as everything was definitely going to be all right with Tina's first experience with another woman. What made Trisha feel especially good about them both was the way Lita was rapidly casting aside her initial nervousness.

Saturday morning's arrival was a mixed blessing for two connected households.

In the bedroom above the club, Trisha's eyelids blinked open and, lying on her back she stretched herself elegantly with a sense of well-being amongst the crumpled quilt, turning her head sideways to catch sight of her gorgeous lover lying on her side, a slight smile on her lips and her naked body half exposed. A moment later, her eyes flickered open and her smile broadened.

"Hello darling," she murmured,"I'm so glad I woke up but tell me last night wasn't a delicious fantasy. I couldn't cope it if was."

"Delicious yes but fantasy, definitely not babes," Trisha answered softly, softly kissing the other woman."We made love half the night 're the real thing, you'd better believe it."

"Why don't you convince me one more time darling? You know, just to make sure," came this delicious come on line with two outstretched welcoming arms. Trisha's breath was caught in her mouth.

"Anything for my girlfriend,"Trisha murmured, a wide foolish smile spreading across her face. Previous partners of the night weren't always so relaxed first thing in the morning so playing it cool was the last thing on Trisha's mind.

At another house, the double bed was strewn with a crumpled green dress, a white pair of trousers half inside out and dishevelled jacket thrown anyhow and two pairs of shoes in opposite ends of the room. A glimpse of a spare arm or leg protruded from the quilt. There was no signs of life and nothing moved for a couple of hours except the faint movement of the curtains and breathing from two crashed out bodies under the quilt.

Two and a half hours later, two very satisfied women emerged glowing from the shower, slipped on sleek white silk dressing gowns of doubtful modesty and set forth in search of toast and coffee to celebrate the wonders of the previous night and this splendid morning. Lita couldn't help noticing a certain restlessness in her lover's manner as she passed over her mug.

"There's something on your mind sweetie. I can tell it," she observed to Trisha who, after her initial moment of fluster, decided to tell all.

"We've had such a wonderful time together that I can't bear to keep it a secret so ….."

"You want to phone Nikki. Go on, I know you need to. I don't mind being boasted about. I can live with it," Lita retorted with a teasing grin and a gentle touch on the other woman's sleeve. Trisha smiled warmly at this woman's understanding and her humour which was such a turn on. She reached for her mobile, dialled the number and waited excitedly for the response. Surely Nikki must be up by now?

Simone was half clad in her red bra, pale blue jeans and bare feet and was on an errand for two large cold glasses of water when her attention was caught by a buzzing sound. It was a stray mobile left stranded on the table. She took pity on both it and the caller.

"Simone Bradley here," answered the cool, spacious tone down the line to Trisha's initial feelings of disappointment. She quickly figured out that she'd made Simone and Annabelle's acquaintance pretty fast and she was happy to share her feelings with either of them.

"Oh hi, Simone. Great to hear from you. You and Annabelle looked as if you both enjoyed yourselves. I'm sorry I didn't get to talk to you as much as I wanted."

"We had a wonderful time, Trisha. We felt at home straightaway,"Simone said. Trisha glowed inside at this frank compliment but her errand demanded to be verbalised and she veered back into wanting Nik to be the first to be told..

"You don't mind me asking, is Nik around?"

"She left the phone in the living room. You saw how loaded she and Helen were as they left the club. Their bedroom's really quiet."

"Like in 'don't disturb, we've crashed out,' " chirped in Annabelle's cheery voice who, with true pioneer spirit, was up and dressed and ready for a new day. She slipped her arms round her lover's naked waist and kissed her back.

"It's of no matter but...," Trisha started to say hesitantly to begin with but all at once, a rush of words escaped from her mouth."I'm simply dying to tell someone and I like you guys. Lita and I are lovers."

"Hey, that's great news, Trisha. I'm so pleased for you," Simone exclaimed in her warm soothing voice while Annabelle, interrupting her kissing, cheered loudly. It made Trisha open up still more.

"Lita's so witty. She's intelligent and makes me feel good inside. Above all, she's mature and she's really beautiful."

Lita was thrilled by the fulsome way her lover spoke of her. Last night was the most incredible night of her existence and Trisha had inspired her to give of her best in ways she had never known existed within her. It was lovely to hear this amazing woman of hers say so and made her feel very physically demonstrative.

"Right now, Lita's touching the inside of my thighs. It comes of us only having dressing gowns on."

"Hey wow,"Simone exclaimed, her fertile imagination picturing the scene. Annabelle's own caresses were also working their own magic.

"We made love all night long or most of it. I still can't believe this is her first time with a woman. Tell you what, let the sleeping beauties lie in and ask Nikki to phone me back if she wants the lurid details. I really want to let them know myself."

"I will," promised Simone as her free hand took hold of her lover's expert fingers and eased it down the zip of her own jeans. The soft kisses planted on her neck and shoulders were beginning to drive her mad."I think Annabelle wants me for something. Gotta go," she added in an increasingly strained voice.

"I won't keep you," grinned Trisha, having a shrewd idea of what her very forward friend was up to behind the scenes and after she put the phone down, she spun round and kissed Lita furiously with pent up passion.

A nervous hand stretched out of a duvet and clutched a mobile phone as its owner screwed up her half-open eyes to check the time by the bedside clock. It registered half-past seven, an ungodly hour for her and her partner who was peacefully asleep besides her. She was doing mental arithmetic calculations as quickly as her fogged up mind allowed converting present time to what it would be halfway across the world. She had information to impart that had to be done but the question was timing and her own lack of energy. As she mulled the matter over, a sheet of paper lay in the corner, a product of alcohol and inspiration the night before. At the time, it's scrawled out words and melody made sense. She hoped that this still applied in the cold light of day. .

"You swine," Helen accused loudly with a suspicion of a grin on her face as she finally emerged barefoot from her bedroom at two in the afternoon, hair dishevelled, no makeup, wearing jeans and a coffee stained T-shirt. "You mean you let Nikki and I sleep in while Trisha regaled you and Simone with her lurid sexual exploits and let us sleep on."

"We haven't gotten life insurance. We knew you'd had a skinful and figured you'd be as scary as shit if we'd disturbed you," Annabelle retorted cheekily in a way which registered with an equally untidy Nikki who had silently crawled in.

"In any case, now you know, why don't you phone Trisha up right now. You know you both want to," teased Simone.

Sticking her tongue out rudely and briefly, Nikki grabbed the phone from the side and a broad smile soon spread over her face. She'd obviously got through to Trisha who was talking in detail while, in the background, her Lita lapped up the compliments.

It was now mid-afternoon and the four women were drinking coffee and eating toast and Marmite, a strange tangy spread that the two guests had got to like after finding it fierce to begin with. They were chatting comfortably over Trisha's good fortune while a wintry sunshine smiled at them through the living room window. Suddenly, Simone's mobile started bleeping and she answered without thinking. The three other women saw the expression on Simone's face change drastically.

"Of course Erin," Simone said softly as hers and Annabelle's responsibilities from over the waters caught up with her."Thanks ever so much for looking out for us."

"Hey, no problems," said the voice down the line with a kind of drawl in her voice she hadn't been used to recently."We're on our holidays and Diane and I have been getting into some home living, hanging out and having sex and so on."

"We'll watch out for the paparazzi when they descend on us," Simone said slowly, her heart skipping a beat at the thought of being attacked by sharks in human form, hungry for a piece of her and her lover."We've written a song and we've got a little present for you."

"That's really kind. We've got a new song as well," Erin volunteered cheerily to bolster up their friends' spirits. In her down to earth way, Annabelle was Annabelle and had fuck all to do with some fancy senator and was the natural partner of Simone and the fact that her fair haired friend was once a teacher only gave her a more interesting background. She knew only too well that there were narrow-minded jerks around who couldn't see beyond their own front door.

When Simone came off the phone, she felt weirdly disconnected. Annabelle felt it in her while Nikki and Helen knew with a pang of sorrow that their very dear friends had to leave soon.


	57. Chapter 57

All at once, Simone's feeling of unreality was overtaken by kaleidoscopic sensations of warm sunshine, walking barefooted along the familiar beach, arm in arm with Annabelle, the sight of palm tress, American hamburgers and standing on a darkened stage, lights shining in her eyes as she sang and played in harmony with her lover, the bass pulse and thumping drums from their friends around them and, most of all, the knowledge that she and Annabelle must be taken away from the cosy homeliness of their close friends, Helen and Nikki even if it meant being reuniting with the friends back home. It hurt Simone particularly as, only a little while ago, she and Annabelle had been so full of themselves about Trisha's good fortune, something that had resonances with her own life. Now, the phone call pulled the plug on their holiday and everything associated with it and now time was running out on them. She shut her eyes. She couldn't deal with this.

"Honey, I know what you're going through. I feel the same." That very soft, very tender caring voice floated in on her from all sides and she felt a pair of soft arms draw her

into the comfort she needed. She clung onto her lover for dear life.

Helen and Nikki stayed tactfully in the background. In no time at all, Simone and Annabelle had blended into their lives as they shared their house in an unselfconscious fashion. They loved the way sparkling conversation would start up from nowhere, the music they'd played for them and they felt as if this freewheeling existence could go on forever. They'd come with them to Chix and all their friends took to them immediately. Deep down, this had been a dream and that sooner or later, their friends would have to go back home and this saddened them. They waited patiently for their friends to be back with them when they were ready. It was Annabelle who finally broke surface.

"I'm really sorry. This is really lame of us. You've fed us and put us up. Guess we should have figured you'd want your house back to normal,"she said with a shaky laugh, not meeting Nikki's steady gaze.

"Darlings, we've loved every minute of your time here. It's not as if we're never going to America again or you might get famous and come here on tour, you'd be welcome to crash out here- and Erin and Diane as well."

"Hey Nikki, we're not stars yet. If we do struggle our way up so we can come over here and tour, we'd never get into the star trip but we'd far sooner crash here at your flat if that's OK with you guys,"Annabelle answered shakily, not daring to commit their ambitions too far in case they were sorely disappointed.

"Hey, there's a friendship between us that will never die," Nikki said a little unsteadily as the emotion hit home.

The other three women picked up on the emotions that were flying free out of the dark -haired woman's soul. Simone extended her arms and embraced this profound force for good and held her to her heart. Annabelle saw that the small, straight-talking Scottish woman was a lot to do with who she wanted to be. Helen was saying with her large tender eyes what Nikki had put into words and she took her in her arms in gratitude for there two women who'd given of themselves to help work through their conflicted feelings.

"Hey you're really good friends of ours. We can't get miserable in the time we've left together," Helen said soulfully, conveying her desperate hope that what she wanted was what would happen.

So it was that a few hours later while Helen and Nikki were cooking a meal that Simone reached for Helen's guitar in a purposeful fashion.

"You have a song in mind darling," Annabelle said, more as a statement than a question. Her senses were attuned to her musical partner's creative ways just as Simone knew her own style very well. "Do you want a pen and paper?"

Simone nodded and Nikki discreetly fetched a Biro and an A4 writing pad attached to a hard board to rest it on. Simone smiled gratefully at this woman's thoughtfulness. This was exactly what she had in mind. She began strumming a chord sequence that didn't have a sad minor chord in it but sounded guardedly optimistic. It was more direct than her usual style, Annabelle noticed and it sounded good.

"If it hadn't been for Nikki and Helen, I'd be singing the blues," Simone said as a throwaway aside while her lips moved silently, writing words for a song that only she could hear. It was shaping up to be a rock and roll song about distant friendship only no one knew that as yet. Annabelle knew that her partner was mouthing the words that had first come to mind and was reworking them. In the meantime, Helen and Nikki looked on in fascination and utter silence as their friend set to work. Finally, Simone started writing the lines in double spacing, pausing for thought every so often until the first few verses were down.

"Why don't you give the song a run through?" Annabelle suggested softly. Simone grinned as she started to sing and play her gently rocking song with confidence and self assurance but winced slightly as she came to bits where the rhythm of the words and the song weren't quite in sync.

"It's a great song and everything's there but you know bits of it don't scan. The words are good though," Annabelle observed gently. Simone took her pen and gazed abstractedly into the distance as she thought of different ways to express the lyrics.

"Mind if I borrow the guitar?"Annabelle offered. As she started singing and playing the song, she put different accents on the rhythms as she sang the song and a wide grin spread across her face when she sang the lyrics through without a hitch. Simone broke into spontaneous applause as, by miracle, her partner had shifted the music in line with the lyrics.

"That way feels right," Simone exclaimed, looking around at her ready made audience of Nikki who was peeling the potatoes at the table and playing close attention. While Helen had attended to the rest in the kitchen, she'd left the door wide open and she was taking in the process by which their two friends batted the song back and forth between each other.

"Do you reckon we're ready to sing this together for our very discerning audience?" joked Simone with an underlying seriousness. They really were trying out this song at its moment of conception for a future concert and both of them knew that Nikki and Helen were only too glad to play their part.

"OK go for it Simone," the younger woman said with total confidence.

"Why don't you play as if you're on stage? We'll be the audience sitting down on the settee," suggested Nikki brightly.

For a second, both women weren't visibly keen on the idea. They were just sitting around playing for friends for free. Then the possibilities crossed their mind of their friends just helping them out but doubts still clouded their expression. This was straight off Simone's imagination with Annabelle's customising and every new song needed to be played a few times, to become part of their mental DNA. Nikki and Helen read their thoughts and the smaller woman came up with the answer.

"We've got a display stand which Nikki bought for doing talks. Would that help? I know exactly where it is,"

"She does you know. Helen has a memory like an elephant. Trust me," joked Nikki. Helen stuck out her tongue in response and, as she disappeared into the depths of the spare room, their friends noted affectionately that this cross talk banter was something they'd always remember about them.

Soon, Helen emerged, smiling triumphantly, holding the display stand which was perfect for easy sight of the lyric sheet. The four women got themselves positioned and Simone strapped on the guitar and swayed slightly as she strummed her way into the song, imagining the undertow of bass guitar and precise drumming filling out the sound. Both women broke into the harmonies they'd sketched out earlier on, striding their way confidently through the song. This was just as they imagined it as Simone sketched out the rhythms of the song. Best of all, it blew away the blues that they'd felt of close friends who were going to part company. Simone finally drove home the song in her final chord work with a little triumphal flourish. The two women flushed with pleasure as Nikki and Helen clapped and cheered loudly in their warm-hearted fashion.

"I'm sure you'll be playing this in concert," Nikki said as an obvious statement.

"We can hear in our heads Annabelle's guitar playing fills with Erin's bass and Diane's drums. We know they'll love it," Simone said with a faraway look in her eyes as this song spanned the ocean that separated them.

"Whenever we play this song, we'll think of you guys as you inspired it," added Annabelle softly.

"We've been only too glad to be around while you wrote the song," Nikki said with typical modesty. She and Helen has simply been themselves during the run up to the moment of inspiration. She wouldn't put their contribution higher than that. "In fact, Helen and I have been talking these last few night and were wondering about making your part of the world our regular summer holiday, that is if you're around."

"You didn't think we were going to be so easy to get rid of us," Helen added in a way that could be mischievous but all the affection in her warm-hearted personality poured through.

"We'll come back here again to see you. Besides, we love England, even the winter weather," Annabelle said very earnestly. At the back of Simone's equally overflowing emotions, a little part of her wanted to smile. When she first seen Annabelle in her classroom, all defiant rock chick, she'd never have lived to see the day when this woman of hers would have said this.

This last exchange of conversations did wonders for all of them. It would be goodbye until the next time.

On their last evening together, the four women sat in chatting and drinking to a reasonable hour, knowing that two of them would have to be up early packing and Nikki and Helen would give them a lift back to Heathrow Airport. They'd had precisely the same bittersweet feelings when they'd spent their last night in the Californian hotel and disassembled their temporary world. Yes, of course, they'd love to see all their friends and tell them all their stories, not to mention playing the couple of songs and hearing Erin and Diane's composition. They really did feel like they were suspended between two worlds but their last night was made easier than they dared hope. It also eased the mental processes so that getting ready the next day was a practical necessity and not an affront against decent human sensibilities. Swaying slightly down the hallway, the two couples took themselves to bed.

A process of determined packing saw the homely room that had been Simone and Annabelle's shelter over their stay in London transformed back into the spare room which still had that welcoming feel about it. They placed the guitar affectionately in the corner

and Helen came in politely while the two women were putting the finishing touches in straightening the quilt. She whistled in appreciation at the way they'd packed everything away, including their purchases in London..

"Going on tour makes for being a ruthless packer. If in doubt, sit on the case and force the zip," Annabelle said with an attempt at breezy humour.

"I can't tell you how grateful we are for everything you've done for us even down to finding a guitar for us. We'd have got withdrawal symptoms otherwise,"Simone said gently.

"Trouble is that this guitar is going back to being unemployed again. It was a sudden craze till I found out that I really couldn't figure it out properly. My fingers aren't flexible enough," confessed Helen with a rueful grin."Still, it'll be here for when you return," she added lightly.

Just then, Nikki put her head round the corner holding out her mobile with a little grin. Who could possible want to speak to her on Nikki's phone, she wondered to herself

"Hi there, it's Trisha," her clear cool voice sounded down the phone."I wanted to say that it's been great meeting you and Annabelle and anytime you're round these parts don't hesitate to look us up at Chix. There's a place waiting for you. I'd specially like to thank you for being patient with my early morning raptures when I'd got together with Lita. She wants to say a quick 'hi' to you as well."

The two women chatted briefly in an animated fashion, put Annabelle on the phone and signed off with their good wishes.

It was therefore an emotional moment for all the soul-searching the previous night when the four of them emerged into the cold, windy day, wrapped up warm to set off to the airport. They easily lugged their suitcases into the car born of practice in moving from gig to gig over the past few months..

"I simply must take a photograph of your flat. It's very precious to us both," Simone said impulsively. She'd taken her camera especially for this trip and she'd been happy, taking pictures of what she really cared about. She'd especially enjoyed taking portrait photos of Nikki , Helen and Trisha at Chix and in the flat and of all the sights they'd seen round London. She'd not let it interfere with the purity of her experiences but had managed her technical skills to be harnessed to her overflowing emotions. In that way, she'd not been simply a voyeur but let it have its place in their shared story. Nikki and Helen put their arms round each other while Annabelle stood on the first step of the staircase above and behind her. When everything was nicely frames, Simone took a couple of shots and even lent her camera for her and Annabelle to be commemorated for all time.Just in time, Helen dug out her camera from a side cupboard with a roll of unfinished film in it and returned the compliments.

Both women gave one last lingering look behind at their second home before Helen drove the Peugeot down the road and as it rounded the corner, their flat was gone. The return trip to Heathrow was flatter and drabber than their arrival a few days ago and an infinity of experiences in the past. Nikki and Helen knew what they were feeling for all their brave words and chatted brightly to them. All too soon, the scenery degenerated into the featureless kind, common to all airport surroundings. Both woman gave a gulp as the admission sigh to the airport came into view. This was it.


	58. Chapter 58

The period of time when the four of them were waiting in the airport lounge after checking in was like some delirium experience. The place was designed for processing commodities in a soulless fashion, leaving them free to relax and shop while waiting for the sudden tannoy interruption. The four women maintained themselves as an island of humanity amidst the formless, dissociated passive multitudes that the ambiance of the airport was designed to keep that way. Different parts of Annabelle and Simone wanted to get the whole thing over, to meet all their friends back home, to stick with Helen and Nikki for as long as humanly possible and to get the hell out of here. Finally, the tannoy announced their request for passengers to move to the particular departure lounge.

"I guess this is it," Annabelle said with forced stoicism that fooled nobody.

"At least you'll be back with your friends. They're bound to have missed you," Nikki said kindly, an obvious forced smile on her lips.

"We'll miss you guys so much," burst from Simone's lips in an outpouring of emotion that was written all over her face.

"And we'll really miss you- till we meet again," Helen said fervently, embracing Simone passionately. All four women said their goodbyes in a like-minded fashion as if the flight programme could be gainsaid. Only when the reminder tannoy message carried itself on the air with a special edge of emphasis did Simone look confused and flustered. She took Annabelle's hand and started walking in an uncertain zig-zag pattern, almost tripping over their feet as they tried to look backwards. In an uprush of tender emotion, Nikki thought that endearing image of their friends said everything about them. They kept waving until they were finally out of sight.

The two women, dressed in their warm coats and feeling strangely bereft of luggage, felt anaesthetised as they plunged into the departure lounge, filled with miscellaneous people. They didn't feel connected to them except that they were travelling on the same journey. They sat it out until the time came to be transported into the bowels of the identical jet that had taken them here. They found their places ,duly strapped on their seat belts and looked at each other.

"We have to make the best of the situation. Let's face it, we can't get out now," Simone said in deliberately controlled tones before her facade crumbled," but I meant what I said about keeping contact with those two very fine women."

"Nikki and Helen know it. I remember seeing them give their talk at Chico's when we were in the audience and we first got talking to them. That connection felt special right from the first," Annabelle said dreamily looking into Simone's eyes.

"Thank God we've got each other like they have," Simone said, squeezing her lover's hands fondly."If we try to tune out the nothingness with which we're surrounded, perhaps we'll get through this journey."

The air of unreality hung all around them as the whine of the jet engines increased in pitch and intensity and temporarily shut down thinking space. Next, the jet started bumping its way down the runway and, when this feeling stopped as the jet became airborne, the last tenuous connection with their adopted country was snapped. True, they'd fly over the English countryside and head out over the vastness of the Atlantic Ocean but it was different this time around. The two women withdrew into themselves amidst the soporific humming sound that would last an eternity. They'd just have to put up with it.

It wasn't until the break at New York that Simone started to come to life while waiting in another anonymous departure lounge for the jet to refuel. She'd glugged back a tasteless plastic mugful of black coffee from the machine for an energy spurt. She reached into her mobile as it crossed her mind that the paparazzi might be waiting for them. She wanted to contact Erin to finalise their arrangements and to see how the land lay.

"Hi Erin,"Simone's voice came down the line to the other woman, sounding a little weary and husky. The dark-haired woman had just drunk an early morning coffee and was wondering whether or not to get out of bed or lie in a little longer. She knew very well that in a few day's time that this wouldn't be an option.."We're phoning from New York while the jet's refuelling. How's things?"

"Hey Simone, great to hear from you. You know of course that we're coming to pick you up,"Erin said in her customarily direct fashion.

"That's really nice of you,"Simone said softly.

"Sure we'll do you guys a favour but there's the paparazzi to think of. You remember all that shit in the Los Angeles Tribune I told you about a few days ago? If the press come after you, offer to talk about the band but no personal shit about you and Annabelle. You must know from your's and Simone's experiences not to let the bastards in. Face it, you'll be jet lagged when you get in so we'll be your minders- at least I'll be."

Diane was lying naked full length in the bed in the early morning gentle glow and smiled gently at her partner's tough and tender sentiments. Down the other end of the line, the straight-talking Erin had done the trick in rapidly dispersing Simone's depressive mental fog. She was also conscious of New York's winter cold and that the softly spoken cadences of English voices she'd got used to being supplanted by harder edged, rapid firing New York accents of those joining the others in the departure lounge to travel out west. This combination of events enabled Simone to click into business gear and rattle through times and arrangements of when they flew into California again. Annabelle looked sharply at her partner and knew that she'd bring her up to speed as to what was going on.

"That was Erin. She and Diane are picking us up from the airport and get us away from the press and paparazzi if they turn up. She thinks we ought to keep saying 'no comment' if they ask about our private lives but try and use the occasion to talk about our music," Simone said shortly.

"So we plug our music. I get it," Annabelle said succinctly as images of their possible future rose up in their minds. Both women started pacing restlessly around the departure lounge until the announcement to be ready to board the aircraft grabbed their attention partly because the guy sounded so harsh, so aggressive. After pausing for reflection, they turned to each other and smiled. They'd realised a long time ago that, just because they'd grown up to steer away from the married couple and two point four children and the white picket fence syndrome, they were resolutely normal and had grown up to gather with like-minded women and to head out on the road as a rock and roll band. Now they knew for certain that Nikki and Helen were smiling down on them as they'd become resolutely international and weren't trapped into the absurdity of loving their country and getting paranoid when other cultures challenged their points of view. They simply went with the flow if it seemed moral and right. For the moment, they felt strong.

This time, as they ascended far up into the sky and floated there in perfect safety, they knew that conflict loomed ahead of them the other side of the continent and down below. A little while later when in flight meals were due to be served, the same thought struck both women.

"A nice cup of tea- that's what I want," sighed Simone.

"Me too," chimed in Annabelle grinning her head off."They'd better serve it."

Fortunately, they struck lucky and both women looked upon this as a good omen for the future as they ate the meal with their elbows kept in and savoured their tea. This was a high point during their flight. Time now crawled along endlessly as they moved across the continent which was set out like an endless patchwork carpet unrolling itself far into the distance. Finally, both the tannoy and the lurch to their stomachs told them that their plane was gradually losing altitude and it wasn't long before more precise details of the ground became visible. Finally, the endless churning circling process of descent brought onto centre stage the niggling interminable mental debates with faceless, bigoted accusers emerged centre stage. It made them nervous but they didn't necessarily feel better prepared for trouble should it arrive. It was the uncertainty that got to them, they thought, as the Californian coastline came into sight on which somewhere, their home, sat next to the ocean. Finally, the jet screeched down onto the runway and, while all the other other passengers were sighing with relief as they'd arrived at their destination, two exceptions wondered whether or not the worst was yet to come. They joined the column of passengers walking down the aisle and trusted to luck. Perhaps going through passport control was safest...

"Hey Simone," Erin yelled as she spotted two women walk uncertainly past customs and peer round the huge airport lounge. She could sense their nervousness and insecurity. "Over here."

Diane darted to where the luggage was spewed out onto the circular chute and she spotted her friend's cases which she recognised easily from touring together. Both women had put their heads together and knew that they'd be more together than their friends. In short order, they were together, Diane pushing the luggage trolly a little ahead of the other three.

"Let's get the hell out of here and into the car and then we'll talk," Erin directed firmly, sounding slightly out of breath at the cracking pace Diane was setting.

"Shit, they're out there," Erin snapped, more in panic for their friends than anything else. She'd spotted the sinister looking creeps armed with flashguns the far side of the double swing perspex doors. Surely, it must happen now? Just at the very last second, her mobile bleeped as a text message homed in. She got it out of her jeans pocket and glanced down. Right on time, she reckoned triumphantly. This was the one arrangement she'd not told Simone about for fear it wouldn't materialise."We can't go back. We can't go round so I guess we'll go forward and at them,"she added with a meaning look in her eye as she stared intensely at their natural enemies and her voice completely transformed. The other three women instantly trusted to her lead, born of many hours in close association.

"OK, let's go," Annabelle said with more determination than she felt, completely throwing herself off the precipice and hoping she and the rest of them would fly. She was afraid that she and Simone would be simply too tired to deal with this load of shit.

Diane pushed ahead at the double doors with the luggage trolley making a natural obstacle to defend themselves with as they eased their way out into the outside air and ran straight into an atmosphere of sheer dementia as a crowd of pressmen closed in on them. At the same time, Miranda's strong commanding presence leapt out from nowhere, making them blink with astonishment. Annabelle and Simone gasped as they witnessed the positive side of this strong minded woman, someone whom they'd not always seen eye to eye with in the past. Still more amazed was the sight of a group of women filing in after her from the side of the entrance to form a cordon around the four women. There was a very willing Vanessa and Alison, fresh from their photographic studio. A very angry Sadie had read the Los Angeles Tribune article and had snuck off from the bank to link up with a fresh faced Jenny. Even Colins and Jane had heard the news and had somehow got themselves cross town to lend their slight frames and strength of will. Finally,Shirley had slipped out of the cab, slipped through the throng and stood foursquare,her forcefulness fully matching her sister.

"Hey, great to see you," Simone said faintly, touched by this woman who was not noted for acts of philanthropy.

"Well, I gotta protect my investment," smirked Shirley with an outward display of cynicism.

"Hey. Whaddyou think you're doing? This is a press event. You're spoiling the photo shoot," yelled a particularly aggressive man who assumed a dominant position amidst the growing hubbub. This crowd of women weren't in the original plan. He was all jangly coloured T-shirt and large, ominous looking camera slung round his neck.

"We're just coming back from holiday. We've had a long flight over and we want some rest," Simone called out loudly from behind the human barricade, using her past skills in projecting her voice without appearing to.

"So what's this about you singing songs about how you and Annabelle Tillman slept together when you were teacher and pupil?"

"We don't write all the songs. We write for all women's experiences. Erin on bass and Diane on drums write songs for the group. We cover Tori Amos songs. Nothing wrong with that surely?"Annabelle snapped, glaring at the man armed with his officious notepad who was clearly salivating at the thought of a good juicy story served up as moral outrage.

"The general public want to know the truth about what happened at the school dance. You have to accept that both of you are in the public eye. You're Senator Tillman's daughter and she's the teacher who got fired from private school for getting too close to a student."

"That's a good one,"Shirley scoffed with withering scorn.

"Don't get me wrong. You're in the public eye but we mean you no harm. The readers want to know how you've settled down together," asked the very charming woman with a glossy lipsticked smile and looking perfect. Too perfect, Simone judged as she replied politely with the last of her waning powers of concentration."Don't take it personally but the press haven't always treated us kindly so we don't want to talk of personal matters. The four of us play in a group called Creation and we sing love songs for women plus anything we come up which will hopefully inspire people. We're artists, first and foremost."

"So who's the rest of the crowd," glared the woman, her plan neatly foiled.

"They're friends of ours. They like our music. Now if you don't mind, we want to get going," Annabelle replied politely without thinking about the consequences. Immediately, the thought flashed round the group of women that getting out wasn't as easy as all that. The massed ranks of the press weren't going to courteously stand aside but their hunger for the story they hadn't got was only whetted their appetite. They were gathered to the side of the airport exit, back against a brick wall and would have to force their way out this hole. Erin remembered the path they'd lightly trod from where they'd parked their car and ruefully realised that it was an awful long way away.

"The press interview is ended," Shirley called out in a louder voice."There isn't anything more that needs saying."

"You're not getting away as easily as you think. You need us for publicity,"

This angered Annabelle. Having lived around Simone so intimately for what seemed like a lifetime, she had learned to become more composed in her reactions and she'd intently watched the way Nikki and Helen interacted but there was an exception to everything. She started boiling over with the wonderful feeling that an explosion of anger was the right thing to do. She'd overheard a quick whispered conversation between Shirley and Miranda who had edged up together.

"Guess we're the toughest bitches around here. It's down to us to start the pushing," Shirley advised out of the corner of her mouth.

"Right sister," Miranda grinned knowing that there were some tough women to give backup.

"OK, let's cut the bullshit. We're going with our friends right now. Period," Annabelle shouted as her anger suddenly boiled over. All at once, the three women lunged forwards as the apex of a wedge which drove hard at the crowd of press, the others catching onto what was going on. To Colins and Jane, this was a frightening nightmare as the ugly faces swore and shouted at them but Colins was inspired by the desire to help out her old teacher and friend so they pushed and shoved as best as they could. A little voice at the back of Simone's mind realised that they had the advantage as they were united in heart and will while all the selfish men and women were scrabbling around for their own pictures and news stories. As she pushed and shoved with the others, she knew that somehow they'd win. Suddenly, a delerious feeling ran through the group of women as they pushed through the scrum and drove through into the car park. Diane pushed the luggage trolley and somehow avoided spilling the contents onto the tarmac.

"Keep going," screamed Simone, her hair flying round her face."Don't stop." Colins was running alongside Simone and couldn't help thinking that she'd never seen her old teacher like this but there was a lot she'd never known about her when they were both at St. Theresa's.

"Which way?" yelled Miranda as she'd been told that Erin and Diane would give them a lift and look after them.

"Over there to the right, fifty yards away. You can't miss our beat-up heap," a slightly out of breath Annabelle replied as Diane pushed the trolley without wearying. Erin knew why that was so as her slightly built partner was a drummer which gave her a lot of endurance and energy.

"Great as our car's next to it,"Vanessa said, speaking between great gulps of air, starting to .

Finally, the crowd of women arrived and Erin and Diane slung the cases into the trunk and somehow, the women crowded into the two vehicles and drove crazily around the car park to find the other vehicles, Jane and Colins opting to cadge a lift with Vanessa and Jenny. Leaving the thwarted press behind them, the victorious women got their way through the ticket barrier and away. As Simone and Annabelle sank into the back seat of their friend's car, they figured out that this was one hell of an arrival and Nikki and Helen would definitely have approved of them.


	59. Chapter 59

Annabelle was watching Simone on the phone as she was going in for a bit of home cooking while they had the chance. She loved the feel of chopping up vegetables, browning strips of steak and tipping in measures of spices and seeing what cooked. Relationships between them had developed to the point that her cool-spoken lover felt perfectly relaxed in taking over an area that was exclusively Simone's preserve. As she watched the ingredients sizzle on the hob, she couldn't help noticing that a big smile spread across her partner face as she finished talking on the phone upon which she collapsed with laughter. She waited for the fair-haired woman to compose herself as she flopped into a nearby armchair in their seaside house which had now been their home for the best part of a year by now.

"I can't believe it, Annabelle. Our next gig is none other but the end of year dance at St. Theresa's High it?"

Annabelle's jaw dropped a mile as she couldn't believe that this faraway part of her life was coming back into their lives. A sequence of practical questions came to the fore which demanded proper attention.

"It's funny but there's just one thing. Aren't we doing big college gigs now to promote our album? I'm not being a phony rock star but aren't playing high school gigs a step down? In any case, I don't get why we were asked. Surely they know who they're getting?"

"I can only think that because the group's called 'The Creation', it's been passed by the Mother Immaculata being her normal meddling self and she thinks we're about religion. She certainly won't know that we'd be at the back of it and that we'll be making a reappearance in her life. I also wonder if Father Harris knows what's going on and isn't telling her. He knows everything," Simone answered in audibly smirking tones. She could see the mischievous twinkle in her eyes as she spoke of him.

"So you're wanting us to do the one gig for old times sake?" questioned Annabelle in laughing tones.

"That's exactly what I do mean," Simone said, meaning every word she spoke." All the time we were at St Theresa's, she was running the show. Sure I had some authority and a respected position but on her terms. Same thing happened at your graduation which we got through by the skin of our teeth. This time around, this will be our show."

"In which case, we gotta do it," Annabelle responded, letting the dinner safely cook by a little while as she reached over to kiss Simone full on her lips. The implications were sinking in and they felt good.

"This is the life," Simone said with great satisfaction as she curled up on the settee alongside Annabelle. A lot had happened since they'd flown back from London and arrived in the eye of a media hurricane. By now, this was the last day of their impromptu holiday break from a concentrated block of time and hard work and dedication working in a recording studio on their first album. This opportunity had finally arisen after the songs they'd written over the past year had been honed to perfection and the group knew very well that this was the next upward stage in their career. They'd spent what felt like a lifetime of driving backwards and forward to the small recording studio that they'd never known existed as they'd previously passed it by in their travels. The first day, they'd arrived at the bungalow, half hidden by a surrounding jungle of sprouting vegetation and had pulled up next to Erin and Diane's car in the roughly surfaced car park and entered the sanctum that they'd never before dared dream they'd enter. They had known that this was a decisive turning point in their lives, mortgaging themselves to the cost of producing the record against going out on the road and selling the records so they and Shirley, their tough minded manager were cautious enough not to go on the star trip and demand fancy advances like spoiled kids. All four women were experienced enough to go to any venue and generate a level of enthusiasm for music that wove its way between the delicate and thoughtful and hard driving and energetic and pace their sets according to the feel of the audience. Laying down tracks at the studio under the perfectionist gaze of their producer felt like a completely different kind of discipline. This was something that Simone joked about to herself and the others that 'now she knew what it was like to be under teacher's eye and to have her homework marked.' It all helped to loosen the atmosphere and take the autocratic edge off the situation. Finally, they were done, the tracks were waiting being mixed, the master tape being produced and they could take a break before being off on the road again. Playing St Theresa's High School would break them into performing again after a layoff and to offer interesting personal advantages...

"Whoever had thought a year or so ago that we would be where we are right now?" asked Annabelle lazily. Both women allowed memory to drift backwards in time. They couldn't believe that Simone had come perilously close to backing off her powerful attraction to Annabelle and resuming a loveless, pointless yet socially acceptable relationship with Michael, her ex-boyfriend. How times change, Simone thought lazily as she stroked her lover's long soft hair...

The perpetual cycle of life at St Theresa's High School for girls saw the Mother Immaculata stand up once again, one sunny morning summer as this year's seniors were eating their breakfast. There they were, the potential leaders of the community all assembled, the unthinking conformists and the rebels all there as they approached the finale of their education, all dressed in the same uniform of check skirts and white blouses all looking superficially similar.

"May I have your attention please," she commanded in loud carrying tones, perfectly designed to catch the attention of the attentive audience, playing her pauses to perfection. She sounded as if her words were freshly inspired."As you all may have heard, this Friday night is the end of year dance with St. Paul's." As cheering broke upon the air, the Mother Immaculata gestured with her arms one final homily.

"I expect you to be on your best behaviour ….so everyone can enjoy themselves," the Mother Immaculata said, adding words which formed in her mouth unbidden. It created a hive of activity and suspense around the room as to what dress each girl would wear so she could become a woman. Around the room there were some pockets of reservations, one of whom gave voice rather than feign enthusiasm.

"Is this compulsory?" asked a dark-haired girl whose disrespectful manner was partly hidden under her dark fringe of hair which covered her forehead. There was something about her manner that brought up disturbing memories for the Mother Immaculata.

"Of course it is. This year, I'm sure the dance will work out just fine. It better had," she said, her own hard stare attempting to bear down on this impudent schoolgirl. Inwardly, she wondered just why she should be visited by trials and tribulations. There was no telling just how a spark of dissent and rebellion was transmitted down the years despite her best attempts to track it down and suppress it.

Over the past year, Father Harris had kept a discreet eye on the progress of his golden girl and one time teacher along with Annabelle Tillman who'd now both featured on the front page of the Los Angeles Tribune. He'd compiled a scrapbook of their concert appearances, tracking down a scattering of articles in the music press, an area of human which he was not supposed to know about. He hadn't forgotten chatting to them both at her graduation ceremony last year and how much he enjoyed their company. It was a revelation to discover how Annabelle's bad reputation concealed a sharp-witted respectful intelligence that was beyond her years. He kept it to himself that they were so obviously suited and let the Mother Immaculata's occasional tirades wash over him. They'd also made good their promise and breezed in from time to time, looking somewhat tired but very much attuned to their purpose in life, something he gave them full marks for. As they talked about their lives, it struck him that they weren't a million miles away from the circus performers he'd so much admired when he was little. They didn't come on as boastful and self centred but, on the contrary, he got more kindness and understanding from these two women in a short space of time than he found in the rest of his pastoral duties around the school.

On their most recent visit, they sat outside in the rectory back garden drinking tea as normal while the fragrance of the flowers and the outside table made for a comfortable relaxed environment. However, Father Harris couldn't help thinking that his two friends were gradually working up to something they wanted to say. Finally, he cut to the chase.

"Simone, I've known you for many years so you must understand how obvious it is to me that you've got a favour to ask of me."

These firmly articulated words came out of nowhere and the fair-haired woman fluttered in embarrassment and mental dislocation before pulling herself together, aided by Annabelle squeezing her hand. Suddenly, she unreeled details of the idea that had had taken root after a chance conversation. They wanted to treat Nikki and Helen to two tickets for St Theresa's to two tickets to St Theresa's end of year's dance. In all this last year spent building up their group, their friends in England had never been far from their minds nor had the photographs of their stay there been locked away and forgotten

"Nikki, just why do you want to go to this dance so badly? You know we can't dance together," Helen had asked with a sharp look into her partner's deep brown eyes. Nikki had really gone for the idea that Annabelle had tossed out as a joking aside, the first night they'd got together over at their house with a bottle or two of Californian wine between them. Throughout all these long months since their last visit to America, they'd plugged away at their jobs and socialised with their friends but the pull of California and their friends there had never been far from their minds. They'd exchanged phone calls, e mails and postcards when they could do so.

"I just feel like seeing the inside of an American private school. Annabelle and Simone have told us so much about that I want us to see for ourselves. Them playing a gig there kills two birds with one stone," Nikki replied coolly without expression. Helen took a long hard look at her partner before she decided to compromise on the matter.

"All right then but we make bloody sure we can get out of a situation we walk into," Helen finally replied doubtfully.

"So who are these two friends of yours?" asked Father Harris with this penetrating blue eyes.

All at once, the two women reeled off at lightning speed their account of how come they'd first read about them in a random magazine when they were due to come over on a working holiday on their very doorstep, how they got to meet them, how their friendship developed and how they'd had such a wonderful return holiday in England, Annabelle chiming in with various cultural references, how...

"So exactly what do they do for a living?" Father Harris asked with razor-sharp perception, the very question both women didn't want asking. Rock stars or no, accustomed to rapturous audiences for their music, both women knew it was pointless to reinvent themselves and try to leave their pasts behind. They knew that this kept their feet planted firmly on the ground and that was no bad thing. At that point, both women came clean and Father Harris believed them but made one proviso before making any foolish promises.

"I'll agree -on one condition. If you arrange for your friends to come round tomorrow evening then if I like the look of them, I'll get them two tickets."

Both women instantly agreed. They could see it from his point of view and were pretty sure that their friends' charm and honesty would convince this very astute man to bat for them and no trickery would be involved.

Events happened as they panned out. Father Harris was immediately impressed by the friendliness and directness of the two smartly dressed women, including their firm handshakes. He showed them into the living room and both women smiled appreciatively at the large bookcase, overstuffed with a complete mixture of books, ranging from ancient hardback volumes, the tools of his trade and a meandering spread of English literature throughout the ages.

"You look as if you're familiar with the inside of a rectory, Helen," Father Harris said more as a statement than question. Helen blinked as she returned to the present as this room had the same old fashioned, cluttered feel as her father's manse in far-off Scotland. It wasn't just that the stone structure that had imprisoned her was set in faraway chilly Scotland where grey clouds swirled close overhead when it wasn't teeming with rain. This room attracted light and warmth towards it and cheered her up.

"My father is a Scottish Presbyterian minister so this room looks similar. The big difference is that this is the home I should have had," Helen said frankly.

Father Harris beamed all over his face in a way that radiated joy. He offered to pour them another cup of tea as they started chatting away.

Far away, the four women were assembled in Erin and Diane's garage. They were making enough money so they could have invested in a smart recording studio but they had an enduring affection for the run down premises which had help spawn their group. They liked the acoustics that the room generated and it had changed little in the last year except for being more crowded with the tools of their trade.

"This is really funny," grinned Erin as she fiddled with a few random bass notes."We know that we can take liberties with any love song that we didn't write when it's not gender specific so when we play before a bunch of straight kids. We can work in "Distant Friendships" that you wrote in London and perhaps we can dust down 'Tomorrow is a Long Time' that old folk song..."

"They might not all be straight," interjected a laughing Annabelle."I wasn't and nor was Simone this time last year. You shouldn't judge by appearances." A couple of drum rolls clattered round the echoing room as Diane laughed loudly.

"I guess we need to overhaul our act and mix a few obvious rockers with slow smoochy songs that anyone can take to. We don't have to think we must promote our album,"Annabelle said as she played the opening chords to their old standby rocker "Proud Mary" just to illustrate.

"You getting worried about playing this gig, Simone? I guess the place might summon up all kinds of weird feelings,"Diane asked sympathetically.

"I feel safe. I'm not in charge. Remember, we're just the entertainment,"Simone replied, smiling and shaking her head as the feel of the guitar strap round her shoulders felt more natural than the pen she'd once used to mark English compositions a lifetime ago.


	60. Chapter 60

**Scene Sixty**

The senior's dorm would have been a great natural hangout place if it weren't for the head of dorm. The new senior teacher ran a strict regime inside and outside the classroom, having been especially selected by the Mother Immaculata. Everything about her manner suggested an uptight, repressive nature as she imposed her views on the students as to essay content and form discussion of the great classic writers and any spark of originality was stamped on as lacking in respect. She drilled her students as if they were on a parade ground so it meant that there was no latitude in the running of the dorm either. Any idea of staying up late on a weekend or ordering in a pizza was completely out of the question and the letter of the law was obeyed as she bitched at a delay of a few minutes settling down. Behind her back, an undercurrent of mutinous rebellion set in amongst the more spirited seniors who conspired to secretly break the rules where they could get away with it. They looked on with derision as the airheads of the class were rhapsodizing about hooking up with some geek from St Paul's and riding off into the goddamn sunset like the cliched happy ending.

"Say, why the hell does the Mother Immaculata get so uptight about last year's End of Term dance?" whispered one curious senior to another one night while the teacher's back was turned.

"It's the great unmentionable. I have my contacts. I heard it on good authority that the Mother Immaculata caught Senator Tillman's daughter going down on the English teacher morning after the dance. That's why Miss Thompson was hired," the second girl said in slow, dramatic tones which testified to how ahead she was on the latest gossip. She took care to keep her voice down low though.

The first girl's eyes popped wide open as if they were standing on stalks. A certain degree of sophistication was necessary to be part of this group of schoolgirls and, while she didn't get the message in graphic detail, she had a pretty good idea of what had been going on.

"Oh wow. Like in wow," she gasped non-committally.

"I mean I'm not going to like fall into the arms of some goddamn creep. I mean, he's going to have to be really hot with the dress I'm wearing," came the cynical reply just to confuse matters. A score of little discussions went on in snatched moments right up to the night of the dance. All possibilities were left open.

True to the promise, the invitations had come through the post at the reception desk at Nikki and Helen's hotel but Helen was surprised to hear Nikki broach an unexpected matter of how to actually get to the End of Year dance. To Helen's logical point of view, all they needed to do was to drive there in their hire car but her partner started talking in a mysterious fashion of cadging a lift from 'The Creation's van and getting some insurance for their admission. After all, Nikki explained that wouldn't it be cool to arrive as part of their entourage? Instantly, the word slipped from her mouth, Nikki gave the game away.

"Entourage?" questioned a grinning Helen, eyes dancing with mischief."Let's face it, Annabelle and Simone's visit last year brought out a frustrated rock and roller in you. I've seen the gleam in your eyes as they've talked to you about their experiences of 'life on the road.' Come on, just admit it."

Nikki grinned sheepishly. Her partner had read her mind in every last detail. She hunched her shoulders and dug her hands in her trouser pockets which illustrated the point. Helen put her arm round her partner's shoulders and squeezed her affectionately. Come to think of that, she was tempted.

As the two women sat outside on the front steps of their hotel, they saw a travel-stained van approach them and pull up in a stylish arc. Annabelle's gleefully waving hand could be seen through the front windscreen. She jumped down, hair flying and dressed in casual T-shirt and jeans and kissed them both warmly. She grinned, gestured to the van's back doors, wrenched them wide open, The two women's eyes opened wide at the concentrated assembly of purposeful amplifiers, guitar cases, drum components and coiled cables around which women's bodies were artfully intertwined, even looking halfway comfortable.

"Hi darlings," cooed Simone from somewhere in the depths of the van, reclining elegantly.

"I've got two seats spare for you- well, kind of," Erin said laconically, patting two spaces set out for them.

"Is this how you rock stars travel?"Nikki asked in an attempt at light-hearted irony before her careless words fell flat in front of her. "I'm sorry, that was shit."

"We really wanted to come along for the ride," put in Helen coming to the rescue. Erin grinned back understandingly.

"I'll shut you in. The journey won't be long,"Annabelle said hopefully, conscious that they'd become immune to the tedium of miles and miles of travelling."I'm keeping Bette and Lisa company upfront. They're part of us as they help us set up, make sure of our sound on stage and move us from gig to gig. There's a word commonly used to describe them but we don't."

With that, the sunlight at the back of them was shut out and the van pulled off down the road, which was a mobile bubble of existence that Nikki and Helen could tune into.

"We're here you guys,"called out an excited Annabelle from somewhere up front as she saw the van pull up at the back entrance of the hall where the dance would take place. When the back doors were opened, the momentary blindness from adjusting to the sudden sunlight gave way to what looked like the servant's entrance. Bette and Lisa, in their practical way, gauged that they could sweat in the large amplifiers though the large double doors straight into the hall. Nikki and Helen offered to carry in coils of cables and bits and pieces of drum kit as part of a fine cooperative effort.

Once inside the hall, Nikki and Helen could see that they were superfluous to their friends and helpmates, who were working with practiced ease in assembling their equipment for their sound check. They strolled round the otherwise deserted hall with its display of balloons and illuminated backdrop to the stage and edged off into the rest of the school. They found themselves strolling down a corridor from which doors led off to form rooms, complete with neat lines of school desks and chairs and teacher's much more imposing desk at the front. In this environment, everything was ageless, unchanging and could so easily have been transplanted back to their home country.

"We might be mistaken for respectable mothers," grinned Helen as their smart outfits, little disturbed by the journey was good camouflage. Nikki didn't answer.

To the smaller woman, this was idle curiosity in checking out the part of their friends shared life that they'd talked about so much to them. To the dark-haired woman striding so tall, a very different train of thought started to take a much darker direction as for a start, they weren't holding hands.

Suddenly, a little girl, dressed in a dark blue tunic and white shirt, was walking down the corridor, lungfuls of breath coming in fast and ragged and nerves like a coiling spring. Something in her wasn't looking either right or left, only down the endless wooden flooring which carried on forever, converging to a point in the far distance. She desperately wanted to get out somehow, anyhow. Suddenly, a hand was placed on hers from out of nowhere.

"Nikki, wake up," a warm, soft voice suddenly called out to her, making her jump out of her skin. The next second, an immense wave of relief swept through her system,leaving her skin clammy to the touch but the nightmare had passed. Her head swivelled round and there she was, back in Simone and Annabelle's old school and she was the thirty something confident lesbian once again.

"Darling, thank God you're here,"she added shakily.

"You looked awful a second ago, like in another world,"Helen replied, stroking a spare lock that had trailed over her lover's eyes.

"I was," shivered Nikki."I was fourteen years old, back in public school and freaking out. I need to hold you- right now."

Helen glanced rapidly around her, grinning. The girl's toilets were at the back of them and no sounds of footsteps. Thinking like lightning, she rapidly pulled Nikki in with her.

"Simone!" the loud accusatory voice rang out in the empty hall just as Nikki and Helen reentered the hall. By sheer coincidence, Simone was wearing her favourite white dress, just as she'd worn it for the previous end of year's dance which had seen the smouldering attraction between Simone and Annabelle at last catch fire and for the Mother Immaculata to catch them out half-dressed with the very same word. She'd been calling 'one – two, one-two" into her microphone and playing basic guitar chords to test for sound like any musician would. Now she put her hand over her mouth and felt as uncovered as she had felt last year, clutching a red T-shirt to her red bra."What are you doing here?"

She looked round dazedly trying to gather her scattered wits. Annabelle had been studiously fine-tuning her guitar while Erin had just plugged into her amplifier and had her back to the developing drama and she put two and two together. Diane let loose a powerful drum break and this snapped the malevolent spell. Nikki glared down at this hated woman she'd heard so much about from her friends. She was the spiritual sister to the long ago headmistress who'd let loose a fusillade of moralising denunciations of her moral degeneracy and expelled the defiant woman who'd been caught out with her first love. Helen's rage blew up in sympathy. Somehow, everything that had ever happened to all these rebel women lives over two continents were pulled together and drawn tight in this instant. They knew that Simone had the right and the power to hit back.

"So what's your problem? We're booked to play the end of year dance," Simone retorted coldly. Anger flowed powerfully through her veins that she had never known existed before. Her consciousness of rock and roll equivalent of housemaid's slightly roughened hands and subtly different cadences in her voice from practiced singing meant that she wasn't the teacher but a jobbing musician with performer's rights. That made all the difference.

"Well, I really don't think you can possibly play. You're too well known. It's highly inappropriate," the Mother Immaculata said stiffly, concealing her discomfiture that Simone had struck back so forcefully, For the first time ever, she doubted her ability to control her niece. The sharp eyed opponent saw this flash of weakness and it empowered her.

"We've got a contract to play this gig,"Simone lied, pressing home her advantage and playing her pauses to the delight of her friends."Our manager will sue the ass of you for breach of promise if you try to stop us. Besides, the Los Angeles Tribune may get to hear of this. We'd love that as it would be great publicity for us. It would seriously hurt your reputation. Me, I have absolutely nothing to lose."

For the first time in her life, the Mother Immaculata was speechless. She didn't know what to do or say and Father Harris's arrival didn't help as he kept Simone's secret quiet.

"Tell you what, we're reasonable women," Simone pursued smoothly with the last turn of the screw."We've got a special repertoire that's not gender specific that's ideal for a high school dance. So why don't you let us finishing setting up and we'll try and act normal?"

The Mother Immaculata beat a hasty retreat while Father Harris smiled genially. Nikki came over, glowing with emotion and energy and hugged Simone emotionally. The fair haired woman looked around at her band mates and grinned triumphantly. They were going to play this gig and have a good time.

"Hey, that's Miss Bradley – and Annabelle Tillman,"whispered the girls in the know about what was going on. Their words resonated around the crowd of those girls, dressed in their best party dresses as tongues started wagging. Standing more in the shadows and away from the spotlights, Erin sized up the situation and exchanged brief words with the others who nodded in agreement.

"Hi, we're 'The Creation and we've come to play for you tonight," announced Annabelle, wearing her favourite outfit of white sleeveless top and tight blue jeans.."We're a woman's band because we're the getting together type. I'm Annabelle and, like my partner in crime, Simone, we sing and play guitars. Erin on bass also sings harmonies with us and Diane drums with us. We're here to get you into the groove and dance."

They led off with "Orange Moonlight" and they loved to play this dreamily drifting song as Diane's drum brushes whooshed around Erin's lazily meandering bass line while Annabelle and Simone's interlocking voices and chiming guitars lazily drove the song along. Father Harris watched from the back of the hall and loved his star pupils singing that they were "up against the western sky...Soon we'll see all our troubles disappear underneath its watchful sky." He knew what they meant and his heart was at peace. A couple of soft beguiling songs got the audience in a soft romantic mood but the boys and girls, rigidly segregated, wouldn't permit themselves to step onto the dance floor to be the first. They followed up with 'Distant Friendship' and 'Tomorrow is a Long Time' which the audience applauded once they'd got attuned to the music. The women on stage knew from experience that this is how it would be and resolved on a change of tack.

"Just to get you in the mood for dancing, we'll play an oldie rock and roll song ,'Proud Mary," Simone said in her oh so soft, cotton candy voice, the spotlight shining on her fair looks and white dress. Instantly, Diane pounded away on the drum beat and the others jumped in and were soon rocking away, Erin joining in on harmonies. For a moment, the audience didn't move.

"Hey, we have to do it. No one else will if we don't," Helen said, recalling school dances in her youth when it was the girls who were on their feet without anyone thinking about it. They'd planned on sitting out the dance while the kids danced but now was the time for a change of plan. Nikki grinned as she'd seen all the cool kids sitting in rows as they were nervous as hell in performing before their peers. Up on stage, a woman was on stage singing her heart out as she moved to the rhythm of the music and picked out that spiky lead guitar line. She was only a year older than the kids but hell, Annabelle was Annabelle. She grinned sideways as her long hair waved in the wind and she looked round at Diane who laid down those exuberant drum rolls that powered the song along. Up on stage Simone smiled happily as she knew what stylish dancers their friends were and, sure enough, they strutted their way to the middle of the dance floor and shook it down, feeling the music and feelings of joy in their hearts. They could see the Mother Immaculata glare in their direction as they had that stone-cold certainty that they were doing absolutely the right thing.

"Come on, join us. Everything's going to be all right," Helen smiled and gestured to the kids around them. There was one girl nearest them who caught her eye. The dark-haired girl who had cheeked the Mother Immaculata when the dance was first announced had turned up on sufferance, determined to sneak more than their share of punch and exchange snide comments with her friend. The composition of the band was a jolt to her preconceptions so she and her friend were immediately interested. Both of them hadn't known what to think when these slightly different looking older women started dancing away. They sure as hell didn't look like parents as they weren't disapproving enough. The smaller woman's nice smile, fetching body and rebellious glint in her eye gave her the once in a lifetime electric charge of courage to take her friend by the hand and dare the dare of a lifetime. The warm smile and the light in the taller woman's extraordinary brown eyes as she rocked back and forth told her that they were in the right place after all so a massive shot of adrenaline made her urge others to join them. To her amazement, a trickle of girls started to join in.

Up on the stage, the four women felt that his gig was powering its way along just like any other gig and the oppressive feel of St Theresa's past was being dissipated so long as they shuffled their set around. The rock and roll numbers were catching fire with the audience so they had to keep with the groove.

"What next?" called out Simone to her musical partner as they played out the last musical chorus.

"Pancake," Annabelle called out tersely as the audience applauded."You lead. Diane and Erin will catch on."

Immediately, Simone played the ominous resonating musical figure, Annabelle slapping her guitar phrases on top and Diane and Erin stoking up the beat. Nikki and Helen's hearts leaped inside them, dancing to Tori Amos being such a turn on. This pulled more girls and a scattering of braver boys onto the dance floor, having been checking each other out for some time but not daring to make the first move before their peers. The four women on stage, feeling a million miles tall, poured the intensity of their music over the audience. It was both intelligent and seductive and the women on stage looked gorgeous as they had the power. Deep inside, the Mother Immaculata seethed with a terrible impotent rage as the undertow from this powerful music pulled all her pupils away from her tenacious grip. Worst of all, her one-time niece was responsible and loving every moment of it- that woman would still be a teacher under her thumb if she hadn't given way to a moment's blind impulse. Michael standing next to her was no help at all.

"We thought you'd like to play some slow songs that you'd feel good and romantic," Simone said with a sweet little smile on her face which drew murmurs and laughter round the hall. Instantly, the couples who'd been dancing together melted into each other's arms as the combination of music finally made the audience feel that they could live their dreams. Nikki and Helen needed no encouragement of course. Up on stage, Simone and Annabelle stared back as they smiled with deadly pleasure. Revenge is sweet, they thought as Diane and Erin and Helen and Nikki gave solid support.

As the van tore away out of the school gates, the women felt like Bonnie and Clyde except they'd traded culture for guns. They felt up high with emotion from the mischief they'd wrought and the sheer joy of playing their asses off or dancing to the music. From an unpromising start, it was a great gig

"I wouldn't care to do your job Lisa,"Nikki said cheerily to the other woman, strong in muscle and alert of mind.

"And why's that?" came the friendly reply to this really nice Englishwoman.

"I may be a bit of a butch on the quiet," Nikki said in her customary droll manner," but setting up amps and drum kits are a bit beyond me. I'll stick to being your occasional assistant and looking after the flowers in mine and Helen's back garden."

After the burst of collective laughter, those stray words made Simone and Annabelle felt intensely nostalgic for the time they'd spent in England. As they whizzed through the darkness, they reflected further on how far they'd come this last year. The full flowering of their love was a magical period, of sun, sea and sex. They'd stumbled into making music together which they'd come to pursue intensely as their career, channelling their connections with like minded women, even going transcontinental. Their hard fought for means of subsistence, Annabelle's trust fund, had become the bedrock of group finances which made them clean money that had never exploited nor denigrated anyone. They thought of all their friends outside the van who smiled down on them, even Colins and Jane who looked radiantly happy the last time they'd called in on Chico's. Despite their ever increasing activity, that place would always remain their favourite hangout, equal to Chix over in England. Along with Lisa and the sharp eared Bette upfront, Erin and Diane who were lying flat out tired loved these two great women who'd mucked in with them with no trace of airs and graces. Though Bette was alone at the wheel, she felt good hauling their van homewards.

"That reminds me," Helen broke in eagerly." Trisha and Lita send you their love. They feel that your visit to Chix was a good omen and they loved your company." Simone and Annabelle smiled fondly at the thoughts of two more women who were dear to them and that they would certainly look them up next time they were in England.

"When Juliet works all day and comes home, she falls into the arms of another Juliet and so on to bed," Simone declaimed lazily, her tired but happy mind pursuing a random trail of thought. For a second, she felt that she'd fallen flat on her face till Nikki rescued her.

"First time I ever tried to seduce Helen, we were in the prison library and I told her that Juliet and Juliet was more my flavour."

"Guess how I walked into that one and just what book she was holding?" laughed Helen.

"We really love our women," chimed in Erin, reaching forward to stroke Diane's hair from their constrained spaces. Simone and Annabelle were luckier in being able to caress each other's hands

"We know as some bastard gave us a single room with four double beds in it when we were last on tour. He thought he was being smart. Very educational as it turned out. Don't get me wrong, we're completely faithful," Simone intervened with an outrageously mischievous laugh that Annabelle knew that Miss Bradley would never have permitted herself in a month of Sundays. This made all the other women start to imagine delicious thoughts of the beds that awaited them.

"Like this?" came Helen's rejoinder as she slid into an embrace with Nikki, bracing herself against the slight jolting movement of the van. The other women in the van grinned the dark womblike sense of security of their van whizzing along the empty streets, outside lights flickered briefly and were gone. Everything had been stashed away and they all had someplace else to go. That would never keep them apart, of that they were all sure.

THE END


End file.
